4

O(I)O(I)

The leader watched in unfettered horror as his nine brave goblins were eviscerated before his eyes, shivering at the horrid sight. These weren't just any goblins the bald man slaughtered with only a short flurry of transparent red gloves of sharp air—they were goblins he was around since the very first moment his eyes adjusted to light outside the womb.

As the leader it was his responsibility to think calmly and rationally on a way to hunt for his fellow goblins, but all he could do now was squeeze the handle of his own knife imaging where he wanted to wedge it. And then—he jumped off the ground ready to make his vision a reality.

"No!"

The kerchief goblin grabbed his leader by the heel, he went face first in a sprawl. The THUD of it caught the trios attention and the rustling in the woods told them there was someone inside of the bushes.

"I feel the same way, but we can do nothing in these spry little bodies. The only way we'll be able to get our revenge is to gather more of our kin and evolve to forms stronger than imp-goblins."

The leader sat up, put his legs in the lotus position and listened to what his second in command had to say.

"I've been reading about our goblin lineage and in it I discovered our ancestors were once considered to be goblins that could move moons and conjure lighting. They did this by meeting certain requirements and surpassing levels a normal goblin wouldn't strive for.

"Do you believe this tale and want to help our nest grow to be ferocious monsters?"

The leader nodded—"Damn straight I do."

"Then let's retreat to do it!"

The two goblins used both their shoulders to help the only surviving wounded goblin up the hill.

The rustling in the bushes stopped so Saitama ignored it; had enough problems with a tiny kid with an axe shouting gutturally at him.

"How dare you! Any noble person would have had the decency to let me fight at least six of those goblins, but you killed all nine! Is it too much to ask...that every blithering idiot stops SAVING ME?!"

Saitama nonchalantly looked down at the small boy, kinda looked like Tornado with horns—so Tornado on Halloween—and pointed to the lady behind him.

"Are you this kids mom?" He said insensitively.

"KID?!" He bellowed. "I'm forty-nine years old!"

16h agoSaitama looked at him with his insipid face wondering how a kid could be forty-nine years old. Answer: he is a dwarf not a child.

"Baragon, that's enough." The lady said gently touching his tiny,broad shoulder. "Thank you for saving us from that horde of goblins. My name is Savatia. I would introduce Baragon, but I just met him today. What I do now is he's an adventurer of the Copper rank."

Saitama looked down at the dwarf holding his axe behind his back. Saitama's beady eyes irked him with his already visible inferiority complex, so he handed him his card.

"This card says I'm the third highest ranked adventure and I'm on my way to Silver and than Gold like you."

Saitama blinked trying to use his small brain cells to remember how this world ranked adventurers. He courteously handed his card to the dwarf who gingerly took it and examined it. His lips twitched while he made a sullen face.

"Lead ranked?! I thought you were Gold or maybe Silver—this is an outrage!" Baragon flicked the card right into Saitama's face before gripping the handle of his axe. "I see nothing less but to end whatever charade your mak—"

"Enough ranting!" Savatia interjected. Baragon made a strange unhappy sound making the decision not to swing his axe. He let go and kept his arms to his side; Savatia got to speak. "Thank you for saving us. I know you probably have many adventures to do but can you accompany us until we find my husband?"

Saitama slowly took out his quest sheet he could use as leverage while she spoke.

"I've been happily married for one year and two months but my happy marriage life has ended when a strange creature stalked him under the moonlight and captured him. I have no idea why it would take him alive I just know he's still alive and being kept for something nefarious. I do have a brother who is an adventurer but he's only Tin ranked so I used savings for our future child and our shop to hire Baragon. He has—"

"ABRIDGE YOUR LIFE STORY TO TWENTY WORDS!" Saitama shouted, his face enlarged, his eyes white, and even a little red tick mark in anime on his head. Once he made Savatia flinch and Baragon scowl he calmed down, he looked at his card and at them. "I'll do it under two conditions: One, take this quest for me. Two, let me take the credit for it."

"You're nothing but an adventurer getting credit for others' work." Baragon growled.

"The ghost calling the skeleton white." Savatia tittered, Saitama not knowing these two enough to understand what she meant. "Okay. Let's rest tonight and carry on tomorrow."

Saitama though was hungry and just wanted to get this "smik" to buy some produce. Without warning he lifted her in one hand, lifted Baragon in the other, and while they were stuck in his shoulder-vice grip he sprinted down the road.

O(I)O(I)

Affixed to the ceiling of a dingy cave was many humans encumbered in the dirty dark soil.

The most prominent person captured in the nest had golden textured crop hair, violet eyes, and silver eyebrows. His clothes were entrapped and just ahead of him in the eerie darkness were sets of glimmering red eyes. He swallowed a pineapple looking at them for he knew it would soon be their dinner time.

Red miasma seeped out of self-inflicted claw marks on one of the demons chest. Although it had pointy ears and a feral face, it was very intelligent.

'I don't want to die like this.' The man trembled as the creature leered at him. 'I want to die at home with my wife. Someone...please save me.'

O(I)O(I)

In the decrepit remnants of a tower used in a battle nestled harpies with a group of people weeping in iron maiden's.

Harpies were tall, had ruffled feathers all over including their arms from their shoulders to their red palms with black talons. Their faces were the visage of red oni with sharp fangs and they all had breasts completely covered in their yellow and blue feathers.

One harpy dragged two men out of their cages and tossed them in a ring of bones.

"Long ago it was told to my ancestors you humans all sat in your round tables to show everyone you were all equals. My sisters and I are all equals, so we will watch in a circle as one of you kills the other.

The side you die will be which sister feeds on and the side who wins gets to...impregnate that sister...and then she decides to let you go or eats you."

Both men gulped. Through their own wills to live and not die they cocked their fists at each other with strong left hooks and right hooks. While they were fighting the harpies ecstatically jeered for them to keep going.

Their fight could be viewed by the other male prisoners whose hearts were pounding in fear while some averted their gaze from it.

One prisoner however noticed someone strutting up the stairs to the bone ring.

The man on the left side went sprawling down with a bloody nose and a cut on his shin. The other man tried to grab his loincloth by the collar and wail on him pummeling him to death so he could live, but the other man grasped a bone and started swinging it before he could get that chance.

Both men on their feet, gritting their teeth in adrenaline, froze in shock when they heard footsteps.

Their fight was no longer the highlight of the day. A bald man in strange clothes similar in appearance to the harpies feathers stood before them.

"So...any of you take any guys yesterday in the hopes of eating him? I really need someone else to pick those flowers so hurry it up and speak."

The harpies always found human behavior to be a mystery, but they knew he wasn't right in the head. They flapped their wings and swarmed around like vultures plucking meat from a carcass around the bald man.

"We steal men to fight and conceive but you who interrupted our fun will be devoured!" The queen roared.

Before any of the harpies knew it they were socked in the face so hard they all cracked open, while the ribs of the queen were protruding from her torso. In just a blink of an eye the harpies were all dead.

Both men, completely in shock, backed away from the man who just killed a dozen harpies without even showing them how he did it. They ran down the steps and down to the iron maidens. Although they didn't have the keys to release them they knew a simple lock opening incantation.

Soon all the iron maidens were opening by themselves and the tower became flooded with prisoners fleeing like a stampede of ox's.

Saitama looked down from the tower, seeing the view and remembered how he was once so average a fall from this height could kill him and for some reason how snails couldn't move down and had to fall just to get off a flower.

"That was a good job back there," Savatina said behind him. "But I didn't see my husband among any of the prisoners. I'm sorry I wasted your time on this site."

Saitama could see it: five more bases and towers even a kind of debacle gospel below...and he was going to have to look through each and every one of them.

'Maybe I should've just picked those flowers? Maybe next time.'