Never Enough (Elodie x Laura)

A/N: Elodie is mine while Laura is my friend's Oc. Laura is from The supernatural fandom and Elodie's full profile is on my Oc page.

Laura's face claim:

Elodie's POV

My eyes shot open and I shoot up in cold sweat, another nightmare, the same nightmare. It's never gone away always adding more people as I start to care and love more. It started so long ago that the first night is one I don't even remember it. It always starts and peaceful and bright, it lulls me in and I am always caught off guard when it changes, then everyone I know will get up and leave and walk away telling me I'm not good enough, not a good enough leader, useless, always my fault, a mess up, not enough for them.

I always try to catch them but I'm always just out of reach.

Then I wake up sweating with my heart thumping and tears in my eyes. I look at the sleeping form next to me and chuckle softly she has been so tired lately that I didn't even wake her up and she's normally a light sleeper as she's been trained to keep her guard up for most of the time, being a Winchester and all.

I sighed in relief not wanting to talk about or even think about it. But I stumble out of our bed and into our bathroom to get a good look at what I looked like, maybe even wash up so she doesn't notice. I feel alone as I can feel all of my responsibilities crushing and wearing me down.

Looking in the mirror seconds later showed me worse than I was expecting, my eyes had sunken in from all the sleepless nights, I was pale which might be more noticeable than my normal healthy tan colour, and hadn't been taking great care of myself as the impending war was more important in my mind at the moment, my hair was a mess and had been for a couple of days now, I had neglected to put it in anything other than a messy bun.

I couldn't help it with all the soul-crushing nightmares and the stress of war, it had taken a toll on me more than I thought it would. I had grown up surrounded by fighting in battles as packs fought often but also growing up with lots of pack love, and there was even less time for me and my little pack to even spend time together and it was crucial, Laura helped but it wasn't entirely the same as pack bonding.

I miss the freedom and the peacefulness.

A couple of hours of sleep a night wasn't at all great for the leader of a pack and camp, it kept me going but it was never enough. But then again dragging my pack away from our home wasn't too bad at first it was peaceful for a while but now with war, it's gotten to me a lot. Tears slipped down my cheeks and I let them fall not bothering to wipe them away.

I was still working and that's good enough for now.

1 hour later—————————

Laura's POV

Waking up alone with Elodie's side of the bed going cold, had me confused and the grogginess from just waking up didn't help. I could feel the cold emptiness from the other side of the bed which was a stark contrast to the normal warmth it radiated but I moved my arm to feel around to see if I could find her anyway.

I had yet to open my eyes but when I did I was greeted with darkness as the light in our room was still turned off. When my eyes focused more and were getting more alert, I slowly moved to grab the knife I kept under my pillow if there was any danger, Even though Elodie could handle herself. I could see the bathroom light on through the cracks of the closed door. I put the knife back and slowly got up out of bed and made my way to the bathroom door.

Once there, I grabbed hold of the doorknob and halted. I could hear muffled crying from the other side and it froze me in my tracks for a second.

Confused I opened the door and was met with Elodie haunched over, sobbing on the bathroom floor covering her face with her hands.

She did not turn around to face me. She must not have noticed the sound of the door.

"Elodie, babe what wrong?" I said softly while touching her shoulder gently. She jumped and instantly started frantically wiping her tears away. "No Elodie what wrong? You can talk to me?" I calmly asked her not to shut me out. It hurt my heart when she was like this, she was so strong that she thought she had to be strong all the time even when she was struggling.

I noticed looking down at him that she was significantly paler and had dark bags under her eyes. Has she been doing this for more than one night? Why didn't she tell me? Elodie turned then and pulled me down into a hug, I pulled her onto my lap and whispered sweet nothings into her ear until I heard Elodie whisper through her broken sobs.

"Am I enough? Because sometimes I don't feel like I"ll ever be enough."