CHAPTER 39 - ...friend?

'Three days have passed since I met with the little fox. I have been taking care of it since then and little by little it has gotten better.' I did have some doubts about just how trusting I should be of the small furball, yet so far it has only shown me gratefulness.

This whole time I have been alone in the forest with it I have been communicating with it.

She has yet to say a thing through the link she is able to maintain, only passing emotions or memories through it, yet the one thing she told is her name, Bruma.

I asked her where she got a name from and who told her what a name was, yet the only thing I got in response was a mix of confusion and awkwardness through the link.

She seemed lost on where that information came from, so I stopped chasing for an answer, someday I am sure I will know. For now, I just need to make sure that Bruma gets better while I get stronger to achieve my goals.

My new companion is a lot different from the humans I met till now. I have never enjoyed that much making friends, even when I did make a lot of them when I was little to appease my parents at the time.

However, I wasn't really that close to all those so-called close friends. I wasn't capable of relating to them or being able to understand what were any of them thinking. I only went with the flow and did not delve too much into their matters.

At the time I thought I just sucked at making friends, but with time, I saw how I was fine with my family and assumed there had to be something different.

Now, after all I have been through, I think I finally got to know myself a little bit better.

'I was scared.'

From the moment I vent my anger on that kid who bullied me when I was younger, I stopped trying. I didn't care anymore about what my friends were doing or thinking about, I just focused on my family and me, closing myself in my own little world with each passing day and year.

At some point, I thought that every single one of the guys who came to talk to me wanted something from me, while for a lot of cases, it probably was true, there had to be a few ones that just wanted to get acquainted with me.

With Bruma instead, is totally different. I don't need to have that kind of doubt or reservations. The moment the links come into place, both her and mine emotions flow into one another and help us know instantly how the other one is feeling at that moment.

The first couple of times I was skeptical, thinking I was going nuts by letting an unknown wild animal into my mind with no protections whatsoever.

Sure, I could block all her tries to connect with my mind just with a small layer of qi to dissipate any foreigner's interference. Once inside my body tough, I don't really have any easy way to counter any other energy than my own, leaving me completely exposed to external threats while I fight the internal ones.

After linking with her for the third time though, I realized that my worries were unfounded. Once I got the hang of how the link worked and how the emotions that flowed between both targets couldn't be tainted or manipulated and altered in any way, I couldn't doubt it anymore.

The emotions we exchanged all this time were pure and they were a truth I couldn't deny anymore.

From there, I let her share all her feelings of fear and loss. Yes, I don't know where those feelings kept coming from, but the poor animal kept feeling down about something or someone that was lost.

She is incapable of talking through the link, so I am unable to hear her history or help her other than letting her emotions run free through my mind. A thing, that works like a charm every time I want to calm her, and I think I know why.

The theory I came up with is that the link is only in the present, so the only emotions that flow are the ones that both parties are the ones being experienced at 'this moment'.

This means, that if I were to start feeling sad or happy while the link is up, I would transfer those feelings onto her.

That theory definitely makes sense so far, that would explain why my mind calms her, taking into account that most of the time I am focused on one thing or another, not really feeling anything like rage or happiness at all, living in my own monotone world.

Her emotions flow freely and get lost in me as they don't feel any obstacles. It kind of scares me that someday her emotions may be too strong and may be able to sway mine too, but for now, it should be okay, I think… There is no way that those emotions get out of the link and into me right?

Well, the thing is that today I will prove if my theory is wrong or right. After all this time taking care of her, I think she finally trusts me enough to try and pass a memory onto her through the link and see if it works.

Just like how she told me her name before through some kind of memory, I will try and do the same while allowing her to 'access' one of my memories.

Today while I was looking in the vicinity for any new monsters or threats I thought about which memory would be the right one to use and not scare the cute animal, and I think I finally came up with a good choice. I am sure she will like the one I have chosen.

I get to the cabin just in time to have lunch. The moment I enter I already see Bruma anxiously waiting for my arrival, probably hungry. I unpack one of the cans I have stored in the kitchen and pour it all into a bowl for her to feed on.

I already know that I won't get any reaction out of her before she finishes eating so I have my fill in the meanwhile, taking another can out of the wardrobe and eating it.

' I should try to get something better to prepare for the food long term. Maybe making or looking for a fishing rod would be a good idea too for now.' I think so while looking at the lake through the window.

After I finish eating it isn't long till a thread of the fox's energy reaches me, initiating the connection one more time. I feel the same as always, all those emotions flowing to me. I get closer to Bruma and take a look at the energy thread one more time.

'Nothing yet…' I've been trying to get to know more about the energy that she is able to use in hopes of getting another strong power for my arsenal, but there has been no luck so far. I know that the energy exists in the air everywhere because of the familiar sensation, but I have no idea how to control it.

Each time I try and imitate the feeling I get from it and reach at the air looking for it is like grasping at straws, there is no reaction.

It shouldn't be something special to beasts or monsters, and that's a fact. If that was the case to start with, I wouldn't be able to perceive it, I am sure of it. That's why I am still trying.

Those experiments tough, are to be postponed for a later time. Right now I need to do what I have been planning lately, If I am able to establish a clear channel of communication with Bruma I will be killing two birds with one stone.

That's why I wait a few minutes for her to calm down a little on her own before approaching her to proceed.

The fox has been friendly all this time, so I just sit on the table after grabbing her from her sitting position on the floor and laying her on the table in front of me.

She looks at me, probably expecting me to treat her wounds, pet her, or just talk to her a bit like I have been doing these days. I don't even know if she is really able to understand everything I say, but now that I am alone, she is like a friend to me and the only other living thing I can trust to some extent.

Her expectant gaze turns into confusion the moment I lay a hand in front of her.

"I want to see if I can show you something. Do you want to try?" I say as I move my hand closer to her, just enough for her to reach.

She seems to doubt for a second and check for any ill intentions with the link, but after a quick check, she lays one paw on my hand, strengthening the connection.

Focus… Don't think of anything else…

I try to free my mind of any unrelated thoughts as I recall the memory I am searching for. I found it and let her relive with me again the whole experience of the first time I found one of my favorite songs, a very soothing piece.

I recall my emotions of that blissful moment too, the happiness and admiration for what I still think is a masterpiece of art, and then send it through the link. Hoping that I will be able to share every part of the experience with my new friend and maybe help her with her feelings of loss somehow.

I can feel the link there the whole time, but I can't divert my attention anymore to see how is she reacting. I just let the memories flow till the end of the song, and then slowly cease the sharing process, leaving it still open to receive only emotions just as before.

The whole thing lasts no more than 4 minutes, the length of the music piece and the time I need to start and end the process, nothing more.

The instance the memories fade away I feel her emotions fluctuate for the first time. Her feelings of sadness, fear, and loss recede a bit and some bits of happiness start surfacing to live.

I can't help but smile and pet her on the head while I comfort her.

"I know you are scared and hurt about something that happened to you, but you need to move forward, you can't stay in the past."

"The world is a dangerous place, now more than ever. You can't expect everyone and everything to work in your favor, but you can keep trying and fighting till you get what you want." I take a look at her eyes, and I can nearly see myself reflected in her as continue talking.

"It won't be easy going forward, sometimes you just feel like there is no reason to keep going and feel like giving up. So what? Are you going to give up on life and throw it all into the trash?"

'I can feel her loss, even at this moment I can feel from her the same emotions that I have been suppressing inside for a while now. It makes me feel like she and I are the same. '

"Are you going to let all the good times you experienced and the memories of those who helped you without expecting anything in return disappear? Are you fine with letting all those precious memories disappear with you and vanish of existance?" I can feel her tense and relax as I say so, but deep inside, I know that I am not only saying that to her, but to myself too.

"But it's okay, it will get better now that you are not alone anymore." I smile at her.

'Yes… let's find something worth fighting for.'