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Chapter 25: The Anomaly II
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"It's just that...I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It's the universe's way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It's how life is."
~ Sarah Dessen
Isaac somewhat doesn't mind that thought process. There are too many imperfections in the universe, so much so that fixing them all is a pipe dream unless he becomes some godlike entity.
Isaac seeks to perfect himself the most, and the things around him that he can fix, just like the few holes in the road.
The universe may provide some contrast, some chaos, but the holes in the road aren't it.
Isaac would be ashamed of himself if he couldn't do something as simple as bending reality to his own will and moving some rocks to form a smooth and solid road.
Therefore, even though it almost looked like one of Isaac's scripts, manipulating everything around him to be the way he wanted it to be, it wasn't.
Isaac usually doesn't do that. It's not his way, he prefers to just give up on such garbage.
Even when creating the Overseer, he made it a point for humanity to keep free will and has yet to release the Overseer simply because it's such a dangerous thing to mess around with.
There are some things he can not compromise not even one bit, for example, healthcare and the Overseer. These are the foundation of Eternal's future.
Therefore, this was no script, but truly a clone going out of line, "Why?" Asked Isaac as he appeared in his house, right in the Uchiha compound, "Why would you do that?"
The rotation of clones in Konoha was very clear, so it was easy to trace which clone talked to Rin last, thus the clone before him who didn't seem surprised by his question, "I just want to die."
"You can just destroy yourself, but I assume you aren't talking about something that simple," Isaac murmured as he took a seat before the clone, "Explain before I just destroy you and recover your memories."
"I hate myself, and you hate me. I did want to just destroy myself, but I would still be in your personality, a part of you, and unless you perfect shadow clone jutsu even more, I would still appear one day."
The clone spoke slowly, lazily slumped back on the couch, with a strangely lazy and dead tone, "Therefore, I want you to delete me from your personality... I really really hate myself."
If you've ever wondered what depression looks and sounds like, here it was, before Isaac's eyes, "However, you are hesitant to perfect your personality, so I had to push you a bit more.
If only I did something you wouldn't do, you'd hate me more, just enough to go over the tipping point and finally delete me. I know... I know the tipping point, I hate myself too. Are you ready to do it?"
Isaac couldn't help but let out a smile of self-ridicule as he deeply eyed the clone, "I perfected the Shadow Clone jutsu so much to avoid accidents like you, you still happened."
"It's about time, isn't it?" The clone that could only be dubbed as the clone of depression responded, "I know... I know it's a hard choice, perfecting your personality forcefully with Eternal Refinement. Is it really you at that point? However, If we truly seek perfection, then what is there left but to pursue perfection? Or do you want to completely become me?"
"No," Isaac slumped back as he brought his hand to cover his eyes, "So you are the part of me that gave up on perfection? Would that be my fate as well if I gave up? Wishing nothing more than death?"
The clone remained silent, knowing full well that Isaac was merely thinking aloud, self-reflecting on himself.
It was quite the strange situation, the result of the pursuit of the impossible.
The quest for perfection is an arduous one, and while Isaac found himself to be relatively stable in this world, that couldn't be further from the reality in his previous world.
Isaac has issues, too many to count, way more in his previous world. Just how many times he had suicidal thoughts for how much of a failure he was.
Just how did things become like this? How did Isaac come to be the person he is, such a flawed person? It's simply life, memories of the past Isaac doesn't want to remember.
"I was afraid of changing, of becoming someone I am not," Isaac muttered, "Then again, what is the self really? It's something entirely determined by causal processes, whether deterministic or probabilistic.
I talk and focus on free will a lot, but does it even exist? Every event has a cause, and every effect is determined by its preceding causes in a chain of causality.
This deterministic worldview suggests that there is only one possible future given the present state of the universe and the laws of nature.
Just like the causalities of my personality, I can trace them all, I can see the chain of causality that made me who I am... It's just so obvious."
"So why are you hesitating?" The clone questioned despite knowing the answer as if it was a therapeutic session.
"My eyes allow me to see my flaws," Isaac muttered, "I find myself wondering what will I become if I delete them all. How would I see humanity and my friends then? Will I look at them like bugs? And what will I do when the time comes? I am somewhat afraid of my future self."
"Maybe I will see them as one of the many failures of the universe," Isaac remarked, "But I wouldn't go too far. Even failures can produce miracles... A miracle, if I reach Night Perfection in the future, is that what I will be?"
Isaac no longer hid his eyes, opening them to see the personification of his flaws, and he could see it clearer than ever as his eyes radiated a myriad of colors, mostly purple, forming a gorgeous cosmic vortex.
However, The Isaacs in the room were merely clones, even if the true Isaac is synchronized through one of them.
Thus, those eyes were merely a projection of what was happening to the main body as he no longer hesitated.
Isaac's eyes glowed brighter and brighter as the cosmic vortex within them rotated, activating Eternal Refinement to forcefully refine his personality.
It was a silent process that took minutes before Isaac had to stop, scratching his eyes in pain, his vision already going dark just from minutes of use.
Yet that didn't seem to matter to Isaac. Why would it? That's no longer a problem as he brought out a small test tube from nearby and directly drank it.
That's the result of his studies on Hashirama cells, certainly not the perfect method to alleviate Eternal Refinement's ridiculous consumption, but It's enough for him to be able to use Eternal Refinement for minutes every forty-two hours without any side effects.
Isaac only needed a blink to synchronize to the clone again, "Deleting you is a long process, so you'll be joining the clone assembly until then. I have a feeling that your thoughts will be quite valuable there."
"No thanks, I would rather destroy myself," The clone of depression was quick to shake his head, "That's what I want to say, but knowing myself. That's not an option."
"Glad I understand myself so well," Isaac nodded with a smile, such an abnormal conversation it was.
However, Isaac was right. The clone of depression fits quite well in the assembly.
It took a while to get there, but when it happened, and when the clone of depression had to introduce himself, the result was... Well, "Hell, everyone. I will be staying here temporarily, and don't expect much from me because I just want to die."
And then there was a long silence as the clones eyed him strangely, "Genius!" Except for one clone who realized something, the clone of wisdom, "That's it! If we just die, we can reach the Pure Land!"
The clones all gasped in realization and ideas started bouncing around, "Brilliant! The Spirit Transformation Technique wasn't enough to progress our studies on souls to an adequate level, but if we reach the Pure Land..."
"Indeed! What place is better to study souls than the place where the souls of earthly beings generally reside in death?"
"We can even progress our research on alternate dimensions significantly if Pure Land turns out to be just another dimension."
"Hmph," The clone of arrogance couldn't help but snort in disdain, "Thinking like garbage again. We have just discovered a new path to power... Necromancy!"
"If we get Impure World Reincarnation Technique, our research would accelerate significantly," Isaac muttered, "Soon I can get my hands on the complete scroll of seals. I should also perfect Shadow Clone Jutsu further, much further so accidents like this don't happen again."
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