The River at Night(1)

Author:Ding Shi San

I had a secret. As a psychiatrist, I fell in love with my patient.

I spent half a year with him and helped him overcome his inferiority complex.

During this period, I could tell he had some feelings for me.

Today, he asked to meet me, but I refused.

I couldn't. Nor did I deserve it.

However, I did hope that one day I could be great enough to say to him directly, "I like you."

1

Aaron Williams was the dream boy of all the girls.

He was very quiet. He liked reading and didn't talk much. Every time he listened to others, he would look into their eyes with a gentle smile.

Though outstanding Aaron was, he had his secret.

His right ear was deaf, so he could only hear with an audiphone.

I knew him by accident.

I was a volunteer counselor in an online psychological team. My responsibility was to help some students with psychological problems who were embarrassed to have face-to-face psychological consultations. Aaron was my patient.

I recognized him when he added my contact.

He was so famous.

But I didn't expect Aaron to have such a strong sense of inferiority.

I listened to Aaron's story of suffering from domestic violence in his childhood. He would share with me his daily life. Gradually, we became friends.

The more I knew about the boy, the more I liked him.

I could feel that this excellent and sensitive boy also liked me. The unreal me.

Finally, Aaron asked to meet me today.

But I refused him.

Because I lied to him.

I was not the excellent and confident girl he thought.

I was just a fat girl also with an inferiority complex.

Aaron and I made a 60-day appointment. We agreed to meet each other in 60 days.

I was determined to lose weight during this period.

No matter what the result would be, I wanted to show my best side to him.

In order to meet Aaron, I went on a diet. In addition to exercising in the gym every day, I also did aerobics for two hours daily. Now the only thing I cared about in my life was to lose weight.

That day, when I went downstairs after exercising, I suddenly felt dizzy.

Then my legs got weak, and I fell uncontrollably.

If I fell down from where I was standing, I would have to stay in hospital for quite a long time even if could survive.

When I closed my eyes in despair, someone ran over from behind and grabbed me.

Unfortunately, he underestimated my weight and rolled down the stairs with me in his arms due to inertia.

When I opened my eyes again, I was tightly held into the arms of the person under my body, safe and sound.

"Are you okay?" I was scared.

Only then did the man under me seemed to have regained his consciousness. He grinned at me and said, "What do you think?"

"I... I'm calling the ambulance now."

I quickly took out my phone when I heard a voice, "Hey, can I help you?"

I looked up and saw Aaron's worried eyes.

I didn't expect to meet Aaron in such a situation.

I didn't wear any make-up and was sweating heavily. Worse still, I even fell to the ground with the person who wanted to help me.

"No. Thank you."

After saying that, I directly picked up the man who fell down with me with my back to Aaron and ran away. I didn't know how I suddenly became so powerful.

After we ran out of Aaron's sight, the man in my arms said, "Maggie Knight, you are weak but you have great strength."

How did he know my name?

As the man talked, he stood on the ground. It was not until now that I saw his face clearly.

About six feet tall, the man looked colder than Aaron. He was looking at me with a teasing smile.

But the more I looked at him, the more familiar he looked.

"Darren Reever?"

Darren was my deskmate in high school. In the twelfth grade, he transferred to Seattle for further study. And we had lost touch since then.

But what surprised me more was his appearance. "You've lost a lot of weight! How?"

Darren waved his hand and said, "Let's catch up on how it had gone later. Take me to the hospital first."

2

"The right arm's tendon is injured. Take good care of it and do not exercise."

Looking at the clamped board on Darren's right arm, I felt really sorry. "I'm sorry. I didn't expect to see you again in this way. But if it weren't for you today, I might not be able to be standing here now..."

"I'm fine. What happened to you?"

Darren looked at me and frowned, saying, "Hypoglycemia. Malnourishment. Are you on a diet to lose weight?"

Darren repeated the doctor's words, which made me a little awkward.

I'd never lost much weight since I was a child.

When I was younger, I didn't care about my appearance. But the older I got, the more I came to know that people would always judge a woman's figure. I thought I didn't care about how others thought about me until I met Aaron.

I realized that I also hoped to be attractive in front of the person I like.

"Darren, how did you lose weight?"

Darren had broad shoulders and a slim waist now. He must have lost at least 70 pounds of weight.

I also wanted to do that. So I asked, "Do you have any way to help me lose 20 or 30 pounds in two months?"

Who would have thought that after four years, Darren and I would meet again and he would be my diet counselor?

I didn't expect that Darren would help me, but it turned out that he was quite enthusiastic about helping me lose weight.

The next day, I received a call from Darren, asking me to jog.

Actually, I didn't want to lose weight by running.

But I was more unwilling that Darren asked me to run with him at six o'clock in the morning.

"Didn't you say that running would make my lower leg fat?"

I followed Darren like a poor dog, gasping for breath because of tiredness.

"I said that your calves would be stronger. But it won't have much impact on you because you're so fat."

I didn't want to talk to him now. After another a thousand inches, I really couldn't keep running. So I gave up and said, "I admit that a fat person like me can't really do this. I quit."

Darren grabbed my hand with his left hand and said, "Hold on."

I was worried about his injured arm, and said, "The doctor said that you couldn't exercise—"

"Adjust your breath and don't speak."

Darren didn't slow down. He dragged me forward for a few hundred inches before he slowed down. "Congratulations. You have made a breakthrough today. Look how great you are! You can even overcome the pressure of running, and you will definitely be able to persist in the following weight loss training."

So did Darren keep running with me to make me more confident?

I looked at Darren and couldn't help smiling.

"Mr. Reever, I didn't expect you to be so good at training."

Darren rubbed my hair and said, "Let's go. I will take you to have a balanced breakfast."

During breakfast, Darren asked me again why I wanted to lose weight.

"Make your weight under control is certainly good for your health. But there is no need to give yourself so much pressure. Besides, you don't need to lose so much weight."

Embarrassed to say that I did it for a guy, I lowered my head and smoothed the hair on my forehead. "I'm going to apply for a psychological consulting studio. I suppose beautiful women will have a lot of advantages in the workplace. So I think it will be easier for me to find a job if I lose weight."

It was true. I was about to graduate and I'd started to look for a job.

But the interview at the psychology studio I mentioned would be held in two months soon.

3

On the day of the interview, Darren drove me to the company.

On the way, he despised me for my casual clothes.

I looked at my black T-shirt and bit my lips. "I can only fit into a T-shirt."

Unexpectedly, Darren turned the steering wheel and said, "We still have some time. I'll take you to buy some clothes first."

Darren took me directly into an expensive shop and chose a dark formal dress. "Try it on."

The shopping assistant looked me up and down, and finally reluctantly took the dress off from the hanger, saying, "Miss, maybe the size is not suitable. Be careful when you try it on. Don't damage the clothes."

That was why I didn't want to go shopping when I grew up.

I blushed and looked at Darren for help. "I can't put it on. Forget it..."

"Why don't you try?"

Darren stuffed the dress directly into my arms and looked at the shopping assistant, saying, "Just try it on. I'll buy it if you damage it."

At last, Darren bought me three sets of clothes.

Of course, they were perfectly fine.

Holding the shopping bag, I said, "I'll transfer the money to you."

"No, it's a gift for your high school graduation."

Darren took two steps back and looked at me up and down for a few seconds. Then he said, "You look much better now."

However, the clothes didn't help me get the job.

"Maggie Knight, we have read your resume and thought that you are a good candidate. Would you like to be an online counselor?"

"Online? Can't I be an offline counselor?"

"We have evaluated your conditions, and we still think that it is more suitable for you to do psychological consulting online. You know, some patients may be out of control of their emotions. In the past, insult toward counselors has happened in our studio. In order to protect you, I advise you to work online."

So, it was because of my figure.

Because of my bad image, I was deprived of the right to give psychological advice face-to-face.

But I didn't even dare to say no.

After that, I stood up and said politely, "Thank you. I'll think about it."

When I got out of the office, Darren was still there.

"How did it go?"

Somehow, when I saw Darren, I suddenly felt aggrieved. "Darren, I want to lose weight. I must lose weight."

Darren stopped smiling and seemed to have guessed what had happened to me.

He reached out and wiped the tears on my face rudely. "Don't be so fragile. If you want to lose weight, then I will help you become Angelina Jolie in two months."

I was amused by Darren. I hit him slightly and said, "Angelina Jolie? You're insane."

Maybe it was because Darren saw me laughing that he let out a sigh of relief.

"It's true. I became Brad Pitt in two months. Since I could do it, so do you."

I didn't know how long it took for Darren to become so thin.

But what he said heightened my confidence and made me believe that I could also become slender.

4

During this period, Darren had been helping me to lose weight.

He usually took me to jog in the morning and took me to the gym to teach me how to use the equipment in the evening. He took care of my diet and took away all my snacks.

It was hard to lose weight, but I felt that I could make it with Darren's help.

One day, Darren and I had breakfast in the canteen.

The screen of my phone on the table lit up. It was a message from Aaron.

When I saw Aaron's name, I was stunned.

I hadn't contacted Aaron for a long time since Darren appeared.

Then I clicked the message and saw a picture of breakfast sent by Aaron.

Oatmeal porridge, bread, and a fried egg.

Nothing special. But when I noticed the pattern of the plate and the color of the table in the picture, I suddenly raised my head.

Aaron was also in the canteen.

"What are you looking at?"

Sitting opposite me, Darren frowned and picked up his fried egg, and placed it on my plate, saying, "Here you are. You should have some more protein"

I didn't know why I felt guilty.

I was afraid that Aaron would see me. So I swallowed the egg that Darren gave me and got up in a hurry and said, "I'm finished. Let's go."

Darren was confused. Before he could speak, someone came over to our table.

"Hi."

The familiar voice made my brain go blank.

Aaron stood next to Darren and me with the plate he just took photos of.

I didn't know why Aaron suddenly came over.

As if my early love was caught on the spot by my parents, I turned the screen of my mobile phone to the back, making a heavy sound.

Aaron and Darren instantly stared at me.

I was so flustered that I didn't know what to do. My heart beat so fast that it was about to jump out of my chest. "Aa... No, I mean... Uh... Hi?"

"I saw you fall down the other day, so I wanted to ask you if you are okay."

Aaron said in a gentle voice. I could even feel his gaze on me though I kept lowering my head.

I didn't expect him to remember what happened that day. So I became more nervous and stammered a few words in response.

Then Aaron took out a student card from his pocket and put it on the table. "I found it after you left. I should give it back to you now."

After that, Aaron left. I held the student card tightly, leaving heavy marks on my palm.

It shouldn't be like this.

I couldn't tell how I felt now. Maybe I was frustrated.

"It's him, right?"

Darren suddenly asked. I was surprised and didn't know what he meant.

"The reason why you want to lose weight is not an interview, nor is it because of your health. It's because of him, right?"

It seemed that men were also sensitive sometimes.

It was just that most people didn't want to bother guessing.

After a long hesitation, I told him everything that had happened between Aaron and me.

I thought Darren would scold me after hearing what I said.

I thought he would tell me that even if I lost weight, Aaron would never fall in love with me, or advise me not to think too much and lose weight for a man.

However, Darren just let out a "tut" and lowered his eyes, without saying anything else.

I didn't know what Darren's reaction meant, but he "disappeared" after that day.