6

005 - Calm before the storm

"Master, she's adorable!" Medea squeals in delight while the diminutive Saber stoically suffers through her second tackle-hug in so many minutes. "Can we keep her?"

"That's the plan." I chuckle. "But honestly, it's up to herself and Haku."

"Of course we'll keep her!" Haku hurries to declare in response. "She's my cute and strong Servant and we'll be together forever!"

"Ah. Master…" Ecchan hesitantly protests, a slight pink dusting finally appearing on her cheeks at the effusive praise and displays of affection. "I'm not sure..."

"After all, I did spend years honing my confectionery skills to perfection and need to keep them sharp!" Haku continues, ignoring her protests. "We need someone to eat all those perfect cakes, pastries and Japanese sweets before they go to waste!"

"Indeed." Her Servant flawlessly changes her tune, freeing a hand from Medea's hug to fix her glasses. "This is my duty."

"We can dress her up as a princess, or a schoolgirl, or in a swimsuit!" Medea remains in her little world, panting slightly and rubbing her cheeks with Ecchan's. "Or a nurse! or a bunny girl! Or in negligée!"

"On second thought..."

"I think today I'll bake something new I've been itching to try for a while." Haku hurries up to add, smile a bit strained. "I want to call it the Chocolate Overkill Omnicide."

"... I want an entire one for me alone."

"Deal."

"Give her some air, Princess." I call out with another chuckle. "We don't want to scare her off."

It's only at my call that Medea finally gets a hold of herself, blinking dumbly as her moe-addled brain processes my words. Finally, three long seconds later, her eyes widen in relization and she hurries to jump away from her prey to apologize profusely. Ecchan doesn't say a word during her entire rant, impassively staring at the usually composed woman as she grows more and more flustered.

"Nn." Finally, once Medea runs out of words, Ecchan nods once. "Cute."

Haku and I fall over in laughter while Medea sputters in denial. Yes, the new addition to our little household is going to fit right in.

We give her a small tour around the household, ending in the living room. She seems to appreciate the fact there's no dividers with the kitchen. Then she sees the bookshelf we keep in the corner.

"...Can I take that to my room?"

Haku and I exchange glances. We'd been a bit surprised when she didn't show much interest in the library. She was, as far as we knew, a literary-oriented person. And yet she barely bothered asking what sort of books we had before wanting to move on. For her to show interest on this bookshelf now is unexpected. I mean, there's nothing all that interesting here, this is where we keep the...

Where we keep the light novels and other semi-trash literature. This makes a depressing amount of sense.

"Sorry Ecchan, no rearranging the living room furniture." Haku declines gently. "This is where we entertain guests."

"Fine, this is closer to the kitchen anyway." Her Servant agrees easily, walking to the couch closest to the bookshelf and plopping on it. "I claim this spot in the name of the Empire."

And then she grabs the first volume of 'I was a sword when I reincarnated' and starts reading. And that's it, really. We've lost her.

"Well, I wanted to discuss plans and logistics, now that we know who is Haku's Servant and can make specific plans…" I start with a sigh, noting how Ecchan doesn't even twitch at the sound of my voice. "But maybe we can do that later, over tea and cake."

"Sounds good, Nii-san." Haku agrees, looking towards the kitchen. "I'll go get that cake going, then. Will you start your regular training, then?"

"Nah, I think we should take this day off. Rin will be summoning her own servant tomorrow, and that's when the war starts in earnest. This is our last chance for rest and relaxation before things start getting time-sensitive."

"Good idea, Master. I was thinking about finding myself a sewing kit and seeing whether I still remember my way around needle and thread." Medea thinks out loud, ulterior motives painfully transparent. Before her wistful smile turns sultry and she sends me a smoldering gaze. "Or would you prefer me to… entertain?"

"I always enjoy good entertainment, princess." I answer with a wink. "But if you're in the mood to indulge in a hobby, don't let me stop you. There'll be more than enough time for that later in the day."

Medea dematerializes after a nod, no doubt rushing towards the closest haberdashery to buy out their stock. With my credit card. I let out a resigned sigh, not only have we just summoned a tiny black hole that'll go through our supplies like water, but the reasonable one has lost any notion of restraint in the same day. I can already hear my bank account crying in distress.

The things we do for those we love… With a sigh, I get a tray and a couple packages of dorayaki and walk towards our newest Guest. Looking at it a certain way, my boons are the least useful when it comes to her. She doesn't like talking and she doesn't like acting, so neither [Snake Tongue] nor [Pavlovian Reinforcement] will have many chances to work their magic. Something along the lines of [Faerie Feast] would've worked much better.

As a counterpoint, it doesn't really matter. Ecchan isn't a hard person to get along with.

"Oh Great Dark One." I start while placing my bribe on the table. "Would a tray of dorayaki be a proper tribute to appease your wrath and partake in your company?"

She doesn't immediately react, making me wait a bit before snatching one of the dorayaki and taking a bite without taking her eyes off the book. After carefully chewing and swallowing, she speaks out a single word, almost too quiet for me to hear.

"... Sufficient."

So I grab a book of my own and sit by her side. She doesn't scoot closer, but neither does she scoot away. In fact, she doesn't acknowledge my presence at her side beyond leaning slightly to the side to account for the way the seat deforms under my weight.

We spend hours sitting side to side, until Haku announces the cake is ready and calls us to the dining table. Again, as we get up from the couch and without even looking at me, Ecchan makes an offhand comment in a voice I can barely hear.

"You are a weird one, Master's Nii-san."

"Takes one to know one, Saber."

If it was up to Ecchan, she would've retreated back to her corner after the planning session, and spent the whole day reading there, but Haku was having none of that. It took persuasion, leveraging sweet supplies, threatening with using Command Seals and promising to let her have first pick on the game we'd play, but she managed to get her to join us to play tabletop game session.

Maybe inevitably, she picked Star Wars Monopoly.

That was a mistake. It was a mistake I hope to never repeat, because sweet merciful God, I don't think I'll ever manage to forget it. There is a reason why Monopoly is called the game of the devil.

Shifting loyalties, dubious deals and outright backstabbing are par of the course when it comes to this game, but they tend to escalate from there. First we caught Medea cheating and made her do a lap around the room on all fours as punishment.

Then Ecchan made it big and someone poured tabasco sauce on her sweet roll as some sort of petty revenge. We never caught the culprit, but Haku was the one in charge of the food. And afterwards she was looking awfully smug for someone who was losing.

Someone kicked my chair under the table when I went to grab my money after passing go, conveniently getting me out of debt. I might've grabbed a fistful while taking the tumble and, while they made me return it, nobody was sure how much money I had to return.

Things kind of… escalated from there, but I knew we had really touched rock bottom when Haku went back on our deal and decided to keep all the money to herself. She would've gotten away with it too, if she hadn't immediately fallen in Ecchan's ultra-luxury hotel.

She only managed to remain in the game by making some rather risque promises about what we'd be doing afterwards in return for a new loan. At that point I wasn't exactly feeling merciful, so I made her suffer for it. Maybe a little bit more than I intended.

And that was the beginning of the end. Medea and Haku had been playing a one-up-manship flirting game from the start, if trying to keep things subtle for Ecchan's benefit. But after Haku loudly declared how she'll take me in the ass while eating my spunk from Medea's cunt in return for money, well…

Let's just say innuendo and subtle gestures gave way to more overt efforts. By the time Ecchan finally outbought the three of us and the game ended, she was blushing brighter than a lightbulb.

Still, she didn't seem as distant by the time we finally called it a night. Nothing like an evening trying to bankrupt and backstab each other playing table games together to bring people together and create bonds, amrite?