54

054 - While the King's away, the mongrels will play

'Looks like I'll be skipping the rest of the lessons.'

This is literally a chance of a lifetime. As long as Gilgamesh is amused by whatever bizarreness he finds inside Ahnenerbe, he'll be out of commission. There's a very small chance that this is a trap of some sort, an ambush that I couldn't see coming but… anything Gilgamesh does could be an ambush I couldn't see coming.

Ahnenerbe is a place outside of reality. It's also completely canon, in spite of its… absolute wackiness. I didn't count on it popping up, but this is exactly the sort of thing I was just talking about. An opening I need to be ready to hold onto with both hands. I guess this is… heh. I guess this is 'Fate'.

'Master?'

'Don't send anythinginside that place, Princess. Don't try to pry into that place either. In fact, abort all direct observation of the place.' I command seriously. 'Stake it out, surround it, make sure you notice when Gilgamesh gets out, but for the love of Shiba Tatsuya don't try to observe the inside.'

'...Understood, Master.' Medea acquiesces after only a brief hesitation. Oh, dear, I know that tone. There'll be some explaining to do once things calm down. 'I'll spread familiars and single-use wards all around the place.'

'Jackie, Ecchan, I'm going deep behind enemy lines.' I call out to the two Servants more familiar with accompanying me into dumb and potentially dangerous stunts. 'I'd really appreciate some heavy support.'

I only got the telepathic equivalent of a long stare and a slow blink from Jackie, but she comes to my side all the same. Ecchan hesitates, though, reading into my sense of urgency and correctly guessing things are getting dangerous.

'I…' She trails off, obviously struggling with something before her voice regains her usual firmness. 'Can't abandon Master.'

'I'll be in with Sakura-chan and Medusa-chan the whole time.' Haku hurries to assure her Servant. ' Don't worry, Ecchan! Between Medusa-chan's unexpectedly badass skills and Sakura-chan's cheat secret boss powers, I'll be the safest one out of everyone!'

There's another long stretch of silence as Ecchan struggles with whatever it is in her mind again and, for a moment, I fear her stubbornness will win out. I can do this with just Jackie if I need to. Heck, I could reasonably pull it off by myself if it comes to it, but I would feel more confident with a strong frontline fighter at hand, just in case.

'Fine.' Just as I'm about to capitulate and tell the quiet Saber to remain behind, her astral form abandons Haku to come closer to me, mullish reluctance obvious in her voice. 'But Master needs to be careful.'

I'm not the only one who needs to hold back a chuckle of amusement at this. It wouldn't do for my attempts to excuse myself from school on short notice to be dismissed just because I started laughing like a loon in the middle of the class.

In any case, five minutes later I'm running through the streets of Fuyuki city, followed by two astralized Servants and making a barely believable time towards the Church. My target is, of course, the children. Offing Kirei if the chance presents itself would be a nice bonus, but I don't know how much time I have and I need to be smart about this.

As an incarnated Servant, Gilgamesh can exist on his own without assistance, but he needs an energy source to sustain his Noble Phantasms. Take his mana battery out of the equation and he goes from Nintendo Hard Secret Boss™ to a 'merely' extremely dangerous individual.

That and those poor kids have been suffering continuous torture without room for hope or a moment of relief for the last ten years. I can be callous when the situation calls for it, but even I have my limits.

As I crest the hill and the Church building comes into full view, I can't help a grimace of disgust. I'm not Shirou and I can't smell thaumaturgy like he does, but I can still feel the clogging feeling of pain and despair clinging to this place.

I have to honestly wonder how this place never got discovered for what it is in canon. No bounded fields, no privacy wards, no secrecy sacraments -do those even exist? Never cared too much about the Church thaumaturgy, myself- Kirei certainly isn't nearly as subtle as one would be led to believe.

… Maybe it's not so much a problem of the place going unnoticed, but rather that nobody capable of noticing would actually care? That fits the personality of the average magus just fine and it's something Kirei, sadistic bastard that he is, would find amusing.

And now my mood is ruined. Any wish I had to be discreet about this business has just gone down the gutter. As I approach the Church's main gate, I realize I'm gritting my teeth hard enough for my jaw to go numb. Screw subtlety, we are on a schedule.

"Ecchan!"

"Yes!" The small woman materializes beside me in a burst of golden light, feet firmly set in place and a hand already extending forward in a palm strike. "[Alter Push]!"

The heavy reinforced wooden door gets blown off its hinges, allowing me to jump inside without even slowing down. Ecchan has momentarily fallen behind, but Jackie is still by my side to deal with any unexpected development. I make a three-point landing right in the middle of the hall right as the wooden doors smash against the walls, raising dual clouds of dust.

"Surprise, motherfucker!"

Only silence greets me, which is a bit disappointing but hardly a surprise. I didn't so much expect someone to be waiting for me here as needed to blow off some steam. What does come as a surprise though, is the huge splatter of chunky salsa and torn shreds of a black coat occupying a good portion of the floor.

"... Fuck me." I mutter slowly, kicking what appears to be two left fingers barely held together by a thread of skin. "That's Kirei, isn't he?"

I mean, it could be a distraction of some sort. I don't really see Kirei going for something like faking his own death, much less Gilgamesh, but that's not enough to go with. Maybe I should take a piece back with me? See if Rin recognizes him or Medea can do something to identify the remains?

"Daddy?" As I'm weighing my options, Jackie's voice makes me look up. She's pointing between two pews, a cute frown in her face. "There's something nasty there."

In spite of all my instincts telling me to avoid whatever it is that even someone with Jackie's background would call 'nasty', I force myself to carefully get closer. Please tell me she didn't just find the contents of Kirei's intestines. I have no interest in learning what a diet rich in mapo tofu does to one's bowels.

Of course, once I find out what she's found, I can only wish it was just an acrid pile of shit.

"Well… that clinches it." I mutter, staring at the slightly pulsating mass of prana, so dense and dark it looks more like tar than esoteric juice. "This is Kirei alright."

Looks like Gilgamesh got bored of his old game and tore the fake priest to pieces. I give it a second to reflect on the consequences of this development. One less problem to worry about, so I guess that's good? But it also means Kirei can't stab Gil in the back at the last minute, to inadvertently give me a chance, which is bad.

Also… the black and puddly mass of curses still seems to have some fight in it. As I watch it, it wiggles in place, a blob that had splattered away rollings a bit closer to the main mass. I doubt this has enough power to put Kirei back together. I highly doubt it.

… Which probably means the fake priest will somehow come back with the worst possible timing if we don't do something about this. Because that's anime tropes for you.

"Right, right… Everything's a Dream." I startle awake, my magic circuits roaring to life to channel my signature anti-mystery thaumaturgy on both hands. "[Focused Corrosion]"

The mass of curses tries to fight off the erasal a bit, but such a small sliver of the taint isn't nearly enough to survive my focused efforts. Once I'm done, I bathe the whole room with a less-focused application, just in case I missed a spot somewhere.

This earns me an unamused glare from the Servants. Ooops.

After an apologetic smile, I turn my attention towards the basement stairs, hoping to fulfill my main goal without further delay but, as I reach the lowest floor, I find myself face to face with a bunch of floating golden orbs that give me a very bad feeling. Grabbing a piece of wood that somehow tumbled all the way down the stairs after my rather dashing dynamic entry, I experimentally throw it ahead.

It gets immediately obliterated by the eye-searing golden lasers the orbs fire at it. Point Defense Drones. Fucking Golden Point Defense Drones seeded all around the basement. Fuck Gil and his ability to pull out new bullshit from his treasury on demand and fuck every single smug precognitive bastard out there!

"Ecchan, Jackie?" I call out with a frown. "Do you think you can bypass those?"

Ecchan almost gives me a heart attack when she steps into their shooting range without a word, dodging and blocking attacks for a good minute before jumping back out of their range. She tries her [Alter Lightning] next, only for the arcing red bolts to slam against a shimmering gold barrier to no effect.

"Defensive Noble Phantasm." She finally declares, shaking her head. "Maybe through brute-force. Would be… messy."

Jackie doesn't even try, shaking her head from beside me. "The eyes see too much, we can't trick them."

Well, damn. Maybe if I had Altera here with me, I doubt [Teardrop Photon Ray] cares too much about defensive measures. But neither Jackie nor Ecchan have powerful long-range options and the drones have shielding capabilities on top of their unfair firepower.

'Master?' Medea calls worriedly, speaking out for the first time since I sent her to stake out Ahnenerbe. 'Gilgamesh just left the place, he's staring straight straight at the familiar whose eyes I'm using right now.'

'...Fuck, is he saying anything?'

'Just standing there and looking smug, Master' She answers in puzzlement. 'Actually, he just walked back in.'

The bastard knew what I would do. And knew I wouldn't pull it off. Fucking smug prick…

"Jackie!" Screw it, like hell I'm going to leave this place empty-handed! "There should be a dying young woman bleeding out somewhere around here. Can you find her?"

"Daddy wants another Onee-chan to have sex with?" I narrow my eyes at the petulant lilt on her voice, but I don't dignify her utterly outrageous accusations with an answer. "This way."

A cute socially inept purplette Irish waifu isn't what I was hoping to get from this sortie. In fact, I was hoping to keep her out of the picture until the War was over and done with. Having another stubborn magus after the Grail before the problem is solved sounds like a hilariously bad idea.

A bit of a jerk move on my part, but I know for a fact that she survived the fortnight and change that the canonical Fifth Fuyuki Holy Grail War lasted, so she's not in danger of actually dying anytime soon.

"Well, at least this worked out just fine." I mutter with a sigh, watching the unconscious and armless seal designation enforcer float inside a crystal vat in Medea's Workshop. "How are things looking, Princess?"

"She'll survive without much trouble, but I don't have the time to give her my full attention." She answers distractedly, running a scanning spell of some sort I can barely make heads or tails of at the same time. "Her recovery will be slow. I'll probably keep her in an induced coma until we're done with the War. And Ayako-chan's Mystic Code. And Jackie's new dress. And Ecchan's. And Atalanta's, that pelt armor of hers is good for combat and all, but it won't do at all for casual wear… Maybe I can make something for that cute little homunculus sister of yours, Master?"

"I'm not sure they'll appreciate the thought, but I'm certainly looking forward to it." I chuckle. I've been running her ragged lately, haven't I? She deserves some fun to de-stress before we focus on what comes after the War. "And don't worry too much about Bazett, it's probably for the best that she doesn't wake up until the War is over."

"She's the one with that Sorcery Trait you told me about, Master?" She asks without taking her eyes away from her scans. "The one who could hide Noble Phantasms from the eyes of Gaia?"

"[Tradition Carrier], yes." I nod along. "Her family has been using it for generations to keep some remnants from the Age of Gods alive."

"She could probably counter your [Corrosion] with ease, Master."

"She's an opponent I'd rather fight by avoiding a fight, yeah." I chuckle sheepishly. "Is it active?"

"There's certainly something in her Crest that obscures my passive scans." She nods again. "But I can't really confirm its nature, for obvious reasons."

"Yeah, that's probably her Sorcery Trait, still covering for [Fragarach] somehow." How does that Trait even work anyway? Fragarach is a physical object that Bazett usually carries with herself, but can be separated from without major trouble. It certainly can't follow the same principles Add and Gray use to protect [Rhongomyniad]. "Can you take a closer look, just to be sure?"

"Not without invasive methods." Medea shakes her head. "And I'm frankly unsure whether the poor girl can survive those in her current state."

Oh well. [Fragarach] would've been a nice ace in the hole, but I wasn't counting on it. Getting her out of critical condition comes first. It's not like the physical form of the Noble Phantasm was anywhere near Bazett to take with us when we found her, so it's probably pointless to worry.

"Sleep well, Bazett." I tell the unconscious figure, pressing a hand on the glass keeping her safe. Nobody would believe she's capable of tearing through reinforced steel with her bare fists, with how peaceful she looks like this. "We'll wake you up when it's safe."