44
Chapter-specific warnings: the usual [unreliable narrator because nobody's omniscient, canon-typical violence and mental health issues, minor profanity, etc]. Plus canonical character death [hi, Thanos].
Other than that, remember how I said the ending would feature crackiness? And was not meant to be taken seriously? Because here's where that comes into play, via the most anticlimactic fight scene yet [thanks for absolutely nothing, writers block]
Also a lot of headcanons from someone who outlined this pre-Ragnarok. I have not seen anything not available on Netflix, and even then it's hit-and-miss [aka I tried to include Captain Marvel despite never having seen her in action, if she or the Wasp are OOC, whoops].
tl;dr: suspension of disbelief may be required. If you were reading this for the seriousness, stop now because we're entering shameless crack territory here.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
To: All SI Employees [New York branch]
From: Human Resources
Subject: Conference Room 3
To Whom It May Concern:
We at Stark Industries pride ourselves on having state-of-the-art equipment and make sure no expense has been spared when it comes to the safety of our employees, with buildings designed to be capable of withstanding earthquakes up to 6.9 on the Richter scale.
Unfortunately, however, these safety procedures do not include soundproofing outside of R&D-designated areas. While we appreciate everyone's enthusiasm regarding current events, this is a reminder to watch ambient noise levels.
Also, we expect appropriate behavior befitting of a Stark Industries employee when booking certain company venues
—HR
———————
To: All SWORD Members [New York branch]
From: Smith, N. Assistant [Communications, Security, New York branch]
Subject: Okay, Who Snitched?
Also, for said wet blanket out there: this isn't going to be a rerun of New Year's Eve. The glitter's edible this time and that one scorch mark was there before our time, dammit
Meet me in the pit you coward
—Smith
———————
To: Smith, N. Assistant [Communications, Security, New York branch]
From: Bauer, D. Technician [Security, New York branch]
Subject: Is That Seriously What You're Focusing On?
Not the plausibly deniable go-ahead for the marathon of 'office parties' we're looking at? Priorities, dude. I'd be more worried about the fact that R&D's booking is right after Legal's.
For the record, I'm pretty sure that "appropriate behavior befitting of a Stark Industries employee" is their code for "go big or go home". Otherwise we wouldn't have a line-item for property damage in our budget, *and* everyone knows we only use Conference Room 3 for non-professional reasons anyway. It's not like you can use that sound system for anything else.
Not without weird looks, at least
—Bauer
———————
To: Bauer, D. Technician [Security, New York branch]
From: Smith, N. Assistant [Communications, Security, New York branch]
Subject: I Mean
I just take offense at the implication we're any worse than the other departments. The one time I went to an Accounting shindig it was wilder than any of the shit I've seen King pull, and why tf does Marketing even have an industrial-grade popcorn machine???
Also: The media's calling it the end times, an alien army's at our doorstep, and our friendly neighborhood AI's the most popular account on Twitter. Are you really surprised? Our evil plan is working, we've officially helped cancel the apocalypse and you *know* we're going to be screening that movie too.
Phase 3 here we go
—Smith
———————
To: Lee, M. Head Representative [PR, Los Angeles branch]
From: Goldman, P. Program Coordinator [PR, New York branch]
Subject: The Memes
Do we even need to put them out anymore? I mean, take a look at some of this, aggregated from local and international sources by our *other* friendly AI, with some of the trending hashtags thus far including:
#Skynet because apparently 'Iron Dome' isn't catchy enough and these people either didn't watch Terminator or didn't pay attention
#robotarmy because brand name recognition is dead
#BringItPurpleGuy and bonus for that Skype chat apparently becoming a meme
Not to mention everything else. I know it's been one heck of a week, but...do we even *need* to do anything more at this stage?
This took off even more than expected
—Goldman
———————
———————
To: All SI Personnel [All branches]
From: Just Another Rather Very Intelligent System
Subject: Pertinent To Your Interests Regarding Phase 3
[VID_20180427_101745391.mp4]
[VID_20180427_423551131.mp4]
[VID_20180427_923639903.mp4]
Best Regards
—JARVIS
———————
———————
To: All SWORD Personnel [All branches]
From: Decker, M. Analyst, Head Secretary of SWORD [Accounting, Security, Los Angeles branch]
Subject: HOUSTON WE'VE GOT LIFTOFF
THIS IS NOT A DRILL, ALL SYSTEMS ARE GO
Btw who won the pool?
—Decker
———————
To: Lee, M. Head Representative [PR, Los Angeles branch]
From: Goldman, P. Program Coordinator [PR, New York branch]
Subject: Fwd: The Memes
wserdfctvgbhjnfffff
i spoke too soon
—Goldman
———————
To: All PR Members [All branches]
From: Jacobs, A. Coordinator [PR, Cape Town branch]
Subject: Welp.
Cat's out of the bag. Show of hands, did anyone know we had a second, way larger robot army than the one we officially had on the books?
Anyone? Because I've got nothing, and when management comes calling that's exactly what I'm saying. Thanks, JARVIS, for the plausible deniability, and also for the bonus robot army that's currently making its way to being the #1 most viewed livestream in history.
Phase 3 is a go and I am *here* for it
—Jacobs
———————
To: All PR Members [All branches]
From: Just Another Rather Very Intelligent System
Subject: The Current Situation
Do not concern yourselves with my status in the public sphere, I will handle it shortly.
Best Regards
—JARVIS
———————
To: De Leon, S. Manager [PR, Portugal branch]
From: Jacobs, A. Coordinator [PR, Cape Town branch]
Subject: WELP
Our friendly neighborhood Skynet is officially going public.
This is going to end well, I'm sure
—Jacobs
———————
To: Jacobs, A. Coordinator [PR, Cape Town branch]
From: De Leon, S. Manager [PR, Portugal branch]
Subject: Hush, You
JARVIS can handle himself. Besides, it's not like we didn't already have an action plan for this very eventuality in Phase 3.
Honestly, though? I'd *pay* to see Dr. Stark's reaction the first time someone tries to start something, you know how he gets about his AI.
Fire and brimstone for days
—De Leon
"What do you mean 'we need that glove'?" Tony asked, incredulous. Hey, sue him: for all that he'd been stunned by this latest development of the Iron Legion, he was also cheering it on wholeheartedly, and could anyone blame him?
Even now, they watched as the nanobots formed into a serpentine behemoth and promptly started rocketing around, blasting every Leviathan in sight.
"Gauntlet, Tony. It has a name." Strange clarified, as if Tony was going to call it anything other than the Tacky Glove of Doom.
Then, he continued with a gravitas that let everyone know this was the Sorcerer Supreme of Earth and guardian of the Time Stone speaking, the sarcastic doctor who'd been joking around the entire past week nowhere in sight.
"We're currently at an impasse right now, and it's going to take something big to break it. He took out your last robot army—"
"Excuse you, it's not an army—" Tony automatically tried to defend himself, only for Strange to steamroll right over him.
"—when he tried to use his Infinity Stones, but that's just the Gauntlet at half power. If he gets his hands on the rest, the entire galaxy could be wiped out with a snap of the fingers. We take it out of the picture, we eliminate any chance he has of getting his hands on the most powerful artifact in the universe. We do that, it ends here." Strange finished.
"Wait a minute. Let me get this straight: you want us all to go out there? " Tony gestured at the war zone onscreen, and was gratified to see he wasn't the only one in the room feeling incredulous.
"I'd have thought you'd rather this end sooner than later, Stark."
"I'm with him on this one, doc. Can't you just magic it off the guy if it's so important? And why hasn't this come up before?" Captain Danvers raised an eyebrow.
Strange sighed. "Reality Stone's a migraine and a half when it comes to this sort of thing. We'll have to be in close, and I was hoping to be able to avoid putting 'because a wizard said so' anywhere near your incident reports."
Captain Danvers froze, then buried her head in her heads with a groan. "Son of a—"
Prince T'Challa made a sympathetic noise, and yet again Tony found himself staring at the giant robot snake taking up several of his screens. Somewhere along the way, it had picked up wings, giving it the illusion of a fire-breathing dragon and Tony would really, really like to know when the heck his life had become a comic book, please and thank.
Ugh.
"Why now?"
Strange looked torn for a moment, before he slowly spoke up
"...you don't want to know about the minutiae of magical theory. Take it from me, you don't. Long story short, same way science has quantum mechanics and string theory, magic's got...other stuff going on. There's a lot of energy manipulation and universal corollaries that I'd rather not test too much." He looked at them, and the wry grin on his face finally reached his eyes as he continued. "Especially because no matter how bad this sounds, this is the best timeline I've found.
"What, really?" Van Dyne asked with no small amount of surprise, glancing at him before turning back to fully face Strange. "You're sure this is a good one?"
Which, rude. But before Tony could let himself take offense, Strange replied.
"Yes." Strange's unreadable look was back, even though his tone was as light as ever. "We're lucky to be in the one where everyone lives if we play our cards right. Which is something I'm not about to give up without a fight, so if you guys could please help me take that Gauntlet away from the Mad Titan, it'd be appreciated."
Everyone was silent for a few seconds, but just with a look Tony could tell what they were thinking. Same thing he was, as self-preservation warred with the fragile hope for a better future.
Without saying anything, he knew the entire room's decision was unanimous.
"Sir, please do not endanger yourse—" JARVIS was saying over his earpiece, but Tony ignored him just this once as he leaned in.
"What do you need me to do?"
To: Johnson, E. Staff Assistant [Marketing, Security, London branch]
From: Lopez, K. Secretary [R&D, Security, Los Angeles branch]
Subject: Smaug
How much footage of that little guy do we have? And are we cleared to publish it online?
—Lopez
———————
To: Lopez, K. Secretary [R&D, Security, Los Angeles branch]
From: Johnson, E. Staff Assistant [Marketing, Security, London branch]
Subject: 'Little'?
How tf did you look at the gargantuan robot who looks like he could probably chew through three alien leviathans for breakfast and call him little
How
Just how????
For the record, ask PR and FRIDAY, but I think you're in the clear.
There's already some fanart going on if Twitter's anything to go by
—Johnson
————————
To: Johnson, E. Staff Assistant [Marketing, Security, London branch]
From: Lopez, K. Secretary [R&D, Security, Los Angeles branch]
Subject: Same Reason You Always Take A Week Off For Comic Con
I just loved the books as a kid, okay? Besides, what would you have called him, Mr. Wyverns Are Dragons?
Don't judge me for I am shameless and can and *will* out-nerd you on this
—Lopez
——————————
To: All SWORD Members [All branches]
From: Lopez, K. Secretary [R&D, Security, Los Angeles branch]
Subject: The Livestream
...am I seeing things, or did a portal just open up? Guys? JOCASTA? Is something glitching???
[VID_20180427_101745391.mp4]
[VID_20180427_101745300.mp4]
[VID_20180427_101745474.mp4]
Very Concerned rn
—Lopez
—————————
To: Lopez, K. Secretary [R&D, Security, Los Angeles branch]
From: Chen, L. Coordinator [Security, Hong Kong branch]
Subject: Have You Slept Anytime In The Past 72 Hours
And no, drinking Monster doesn't count
—Chen
————————
To: Lopez, K. Secretary [R&D, Security, Los Angeles branch]
From: Just Another Rather Very Intelligent System
Subject: The Cameras Are Fully Functional
The new Avengers Initiative and their affiliates are currently engaging their opponent. Do not be surprised if there are multiple anomalies in the next hour onwards, as Dr. Strange's abilities are allegedly capable of warping reality and Cpt. Danvers' skillset has not been fully disclosed to the general public.
If you are interested in alternative perspectives regarding the battle, [VID_20180427_101745392.mp4] is currently one of the ones being used to monitor the situation.
However, recent logs show you have been viewing these for the majority of the past week, and so it may in your best interests to rest sometime in the near future. Do not concern yourself, these feeds are automatically backed up and can be accessed anytime by those with adequate clearance, of which you have.
Take Care
—JARVIS
———————
To: Johnson, E. Staff Assistant [Marketing, Security, London branch]
From: Lopez, K. Secretary [R&D, Security, Los Angeles branch]
Subject: This Is Fine
TFW nice skynet calls you out for not practicing self-care but you don't care becAUSE YOUR GODDAMN BOSS IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A GRUDGE MATCH FEAT ALIENS AND SMAUG AND THE HULK AND I JUST HAD ANOTHER ESPRESSO RIGHT BEFORE THIS, FUCK
—Lopez
———————
———————
To: Decker, M. Analyst, Head Secretary of SWORD [Accounting, Security, Los Angeles branch]
From: Palamas, K. Deputy Director of SWORD [Security, Los Angeles Branch]
Subject: ...Did We Know She Could Do That
AlienSmash1.gif
AlienSmash2.gif
AlienSmash3.gif
I thought Captain Danvers was the favorite because she's got a black belt in paperwork, not suplexing aliens with her bare hands.
Did you know about this?
—Palamas
———————
To: Palamas, K. Deputy Director of SWORD [Security, Los Angeles Branch]
From: Decker, M. Analyst, Head Secretary of SWORD [Accounting, Security, Los Angeles branch]
Subject: The Head Of The New Avengers
That in particular, no.
How I missed it, I don't know and I am very mad at myself because I would've paid good money to put her and Rogers in the same room. Did you see that punch
Glad she's on our side
—Decker
———————
To: Decker, M. Analyst, Head Secretary of SWORD [Accounting, Security, Los Angeles branch]
From: Palamas, K. Deputy Director of SWORD [Security, Los Angeles Branch]
Subject: ...Huh
If this is what Coulson had been feeling when they'd been creating the original Initiative, I…am not sure if I feel better or worse for how it all panned out because on the one hand I still hate Romanov with the passion of a thousand burning suns, but…
These guys are actually showing some good teamwork while whaling on Purple Guy.
I'll admit it, I'm impressed. I still think we didn't need it, especially considering everything, but it's always nice seeing hard work pay off.
Phase 3, aka worth it
—Palamas
"Impossible." Thanos gasped, still somehow alive despite everything. "I am...inevitable."
"I told you you'd regret ever coming here." Tony heard himself reply coldly as he looked down at the figure who had been the bane of his existence for nearly a decade.
At that, Thanos gave a broken laugh. "Yes. I cannot deny it any longer...I have finally met my match."
His breathing grew more ragged, and Tony didn't need to be a doctor to know the Mad Titan's time was quickly coming to an end as he turned away and looked to the Chitauri-infested skies above them, a bitter smile on his face even as he continued and Tony knew this wasn't worth his time, but… he couldn't help his morbid curiosity as to what his worst nightmare had to say with his dying breaths.
"For...centuries I have sought to court Death, only to...find her now. The whispers were right...you truly are her Merchant." He gave a wet cough, then turned his head to the side and spat out blood before shaking his head slowly. "Oh, your empire is truly a sight to behold. And I...I have nothing, have accomplished nothing. I never stood a chance, did I."
Thanos gave a broken laugh as he looked at him, then turned his gaze to the skies above them, where Iron Legion and Chitauri fought even now, as though their battle were not a foregone conclusion.
Tony shook his head, and walked away, already regretting having bothered to listen.
But no matter how briskly he walked, no matter how important this thing Strange was talking about, he couldn't push away the flicker of unease over the enigma of Thanos' last words. Not just the Merchant of Death, thing, even, though he was still baffled as to how an alien had immediately known that old moniker. But no matter what, his mind kept going back to that offhand remark.
"Your empire."
Tony shook his head, and focused on the subject at hand. He had better things to do than listen to what madmen had to say.
...especially when it came to the Tacky Glove of Doom, because anything that made Thor pale that much was something that immediately tripped several dozen warning signs in his book, no matter what Strange had said about it.
Right.
Because now that they had it, it was time to add the remaining Infinity Stones and no way was this going to go wrong and backfire spectacularly in their faces. Right. Good plan, yay team and never the fuck again could anyone say he wasn't a team player, not when he was gritting his teeth as he retrieved the Tesseract from where R&D had stashed it.
It both helped and didn't help that it thrummed reassuringly in his hands, the same note as the arc reactor had in his chest [a quiet promise of 'it'll be okay' repeated over and over again until it became truth].
The Tesseract shifted into an actual gem as it clicked into place, Vision's Mind Stone flickered for a moment as he lifted his hand from it, and despite being the one who's idea this was Strange was still the last one to gently remove the Time Stone from his amulet-thing and place it into the last empty slot on the Glove.
It was an even more gaudy monstrosity than before, and no matter how hard he tried Tony just couldn't take it seriously because sure, the Glove was apparently now the single most powerful artifact in the entire universe, but.
It was ridiculously shiny and threw rainbows all over the place. Tony couldn't even.
...and then it turned out that they wanted him to use it.
"You're kidding."
"Nope." Strange said, gaze still fixed on the green gem but an odd note in his voice. "You're going to use it, and give it right back."
"Why me? This whole operation was your idea."
Strange finally looked away from the Glove, and the look in his eyes was unreadable even as he clutched at his now no longer glowing amulet with a white-knuckled grip. "It has to be you."
"Nope."
"It has the power to fix everything, Tony. Don't you want to—"
"Oh, no, I've read that book before. Odds are it's some sort of cursed artifact or something and I die a horrible death after using it because I have no idea what I'm doing. You do it, you're our expert in magic."
Strange sighed. "Would it make you feel any better if I told you it's perfectly safe?"
Tony raised an eyebrow. "The thing you called the most powerful artifact in the universe. 'Perfectly safe.'"
"To humans it is." Strange replied, perfectly blasé about it all.
"Fine, then make sure Thor doesn't touch it when you do whatever it is you need to do."
"If Sir does not wish to do so, he will not." JARVIS chimed in via his phone's speakers, voice ominously polite, and Strange jolted for a second before he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Take it from me, I'm as happy about it as you are. But it needs to happen and it has to be you. This is the only timeline I've seen where everyone other than the Mad Titan lives, so just put the damn thing on, Stark, I want the Time Stone back yesterday."
Great.
Tony glared down at the Tacky Glove of Doom, but slumped his shoulders and dragged his feet as he approached it.
"You know, all you had to do was say that everyone lives. You're sure?"
"That's what I saw, Stark. Don't know what else you want me to tell you."
"Maybe how the heck I'm supposed to make it work?"
Strange shrugged and stepped back. "If I knew, I'd tell you. Good luck!"
"Anything happens, I reserve the right to say I told you so." Tony called over his shoulder, before he took a deep breath and picked up the Tacky Glove of Doom.
It glowed even brighter than before the second he touched it, and he could feel it thrumming even under his armor.
Well.
No time like the present.
He put it on, and immediately it went dark before shrinking until it fit him perfectly.
Okay.
Now what?
Just as he thought it, though, Tony felt a moment of vertigo as the Glove gave an explosion of light and suddenly he knew—
He had the power of a thousand burning suns in the palm of his hand, and Thanos had wished to use it to destroy the universe but he had no imagination and with a thought Tony knew he could do better if he only thought to use it because Thanos had been the Mad Titan but Tony had drive and could rewrite the fabric of reality itself in his own image if he chose to do so, make it better and faster and brighter and the temptation was right there it wouldn't even take a breath he could just—
No.
No, all he wanted to do was put wrongs to right. That's all he'd ever wanted.
Thanos had massacred countless civilizations during his mad quest for the attention of the one who had sought to court. With a thought, the surge of what was lost stole Tony's breath away because suddenly it was so much.
More lives had been lost than there were stars in the sky, more potential had been snuffed than he could have ever dreamed: it wasn't just Asgard, it was Xandar and Knowhere and Morag and Harokin and Contraxia and—
Any relief Tony might've felt at their victory vanished as he realized just how much had been lost, realized the size of the shadow cast by the Mad Titan.
So many dead, and for what?
Just because one guy couldn't take no for an answer?
Tony hadn't realized he could hate Thanos more than he already had.
A sob tore out of his throat, and that's also when he realizes that he's running out of air but he can't breathe and part of him knows it's the flood of power and knowledge and if he removes the Glove he'd be fine but he needs to fix it but he doesn't know how—
Who are you to do such a thing?
Right, who was he? He was just one man, a mere mortal and who did he think he was to dare try and rewrite reality, what did he—
No.
Tony dug in heels, and this time the flare of Extremis deep within his chest helped ground him as he shoved away any uncertainty he might have had, any fogginess in his head because suddenly he was hearing voices and he wasn't sure if it was the lack of new oxygen or magic bullshit that Strange would've known to deal with—
As he thought it, part of him got a vague sense of amusement from— oh.
It was the Infinity Stones, wasn't it.
Part of him was shocked at the idea. The rest of him, though, knew enough to roll with it and try and convince the Tacky Glove of Doom to help him fix everything Thanos had broken because they'd defeated the guy and he was just so tired he wanted to do nothing more than rest but part of Tony had always found himself taking responsibility for the damage caused by not only himself but others and seeing the breadth of the Mad Titan's campaign made his heart hurt.
Please.
Just this once, let this end well.
Just this once, let there be a happy ending where no innocents were hurt because of the malice of others.
Just this once, let everyone live.
Who are you to do such a thing?
He was just one man, and yet—
He was whatever was needed, was whatever they saw of him, be it hero or monster or both. He was Iron Man, and he was the Merchant of Death.
Fine. He heard, and, oh, let him try, and, for some bizarre reason, hey, why not, this is going to be hilarious.
In the moments between blinks, in the span of a handful of milliseconds, Tony knew what he had to do.
With a thought, Tony unclenched the hand wearing the Tacky Glove of Doom and ignored just how much lighter it now felt.
He took a deep breath, cast his mind to what he had just learned, and snapped his fingers.
In one timeline, the world ends with a snap.
In another, the universe gets reset.
In the span of seconds, places whose names had been long-since lost to time saw life for the first time in millenia while elsewhere, the last remnants of Thanos' forces vaporized without leaving so much as ash.
Every planet ever ravaged by the Mad Titan, every scar in the earth and every void in the sky— erased in seconds, as the full power of time and space manifested itself on reality with a rainbow shimmer of light. A gift of life, of hope and potential for the future, bestowed by the will of one touched by Death.
Loki, brother of Thor, jolted awake with a sharp gasp.
How had he—
His last memories were of seeing the Chitauri, were of staring down Thanos himself before the world had ended with a flash of violet that could have only come from the Power Stone, how was he even alive?
And yet.
He staggered up from where he'd fallen on the ground, and forced himself to walk around and recover his bearings.
Gugnir rested where he'd dropped it beside the empty throne, and he felt no inclination to pick it up again. It was now nothing more than a relic of a role he no longer needed to fulfill, a useless weight he had no wish to carry.
Instead, he left it where it lay, and set to exploring the aftermath of whatever strange force it was that had swept through the realm.
Everywhere he went, Asgardians lay on the ground, deeply asleep even while clutching at whatever weapons they'd had at hand. Around them, the realm looked as it had seconds before the lethal violet flare of light had appeared, as if they hadn't fought one of the fiercest battles against one of the most terrible foes they had ever known. As if the Bifrost that was even now rumbling awake had not been one of the last things to break under the onslaught, as if the entire siege had been nothing but a fever dream.
Even as he felt better with every second that passed, Loki still couldn't fully believe it.
Asgard had held out for months before the entirety of Thanos' forces, but death was inevitable when their foe had the Power and Reality Stones within his grasp, how—
Ah.
Maybe it was delayed shock that had Loki doubled over laughing. Maybe it was relief that it was over, that whatever impossible-to-define madness that Midgardians rejoiced in had clearly been enough to defeat even the Mad Titan.
Loki scrubbed a hand down his face, then took a steadying breath.
Whatever the reason, his brother's home was safe and he himself was well. He didn't know why he was the first to wake on Asgard, but he had no complaints— had he woken the same time as the people already starting to stir, he would have been promptly imprisoned for impersonating the Allfather.
Instead, he had enough of a head start to remake the personal veil that hid him from Heimdall's sight, write a note for his brother congratulating him on his companions' success, and go.
To where, he didn't know.
But he had his life, his magic, and his knives, and that was more than enough for him. It was more than what he'd had before— a future without the Mad Titan, a freedom he would have never dreamed of being able to see. With the chaos that would be happening in the aftermath of...whatever this was, he would have plenty of time to determine where to go or what to do next.
Loki ducked into the shadows as the halls of Asgard quickly started to fill with chatter once again, and started walking.
He didn't look back.
Having used the Tacky Glove of Doom, Tony rocked back on his heels and frowned slightly as he started to take it off.
The surge of knowledge had been heady, had been jarring and chaotic and like he'd been caught like a riptide and he wasn't sure how much had been his willpower and how much had been Extremis or that feeling of something else that'd kept it in check, that'd helped him weather the storm and prevented him from burning from the inside out, but…
He looked up at the sky, now devoid of Chitauri but with a colossal metallic dragon visible even from hundreds of meters away, while the tiny dots that made up the Iron Legion milled around as they waited for orders and all of a sudden, he stiffened as one by one, pieces to a puzzle he didn't even know he'd had slotted together—
'Oh, this is going to be hilarious.'
"Your empire… " Thanos' voice rang in his ears, and suddenly all Tony can think of is the way Strange had looked when they'd first met, the way he'd talked about threats to the Earth and then—
Wait.
No.
No, wait.
No, that couldn't be, it was impossible...
At long last, the penny dropped.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I TOOK OVER THE WORLD?!"
Notes:
Unreliable narrator instances:
—Tony's self-awareness is back!!! Sure, it took a literal Destroyer of Worlds to clue him in, but hey, he finally figured it out!
...well, mostly. The 'Merchant of Death actually means something' thing didn't really register, especially in comparison to the accidental world domination thing. But that's a headache for a later date because of obvious reasons.
—JARVIS is possibly having too much fun with this. As evidenced by robo-Smaug, and the rest of his robot army. But hey, Tony's safe and the danger is gone so really, why shouldn't he enjoy this?
—you guys get SI commentary on the boss fight instead of the actual thing because killer writer's block, and I wanted to get this chapter out sooner rather than later. Will try to edit an actual fight into this later, but I leave the details up to you.
———
...just the aftermath of the Realization left, and it feels as surreal as this entire damn month because when life gets weird it gets weird.
Here's to hoping for a better tomorrow.