26

Chapter 26: Mad Science is DoneNotes:

Sup!

Chapter Text

Darcy was distinctly excited as she watched her version 8.2 fold out exactly as it should. "It's looking good Janey."

"The programing is running." Jane looked up. "Let's run test number two hundred and seventy six."

She picked up Sheep-E the sacrificial robot. "May you live and bring us the results we're hoping for. That or die well my little friend." Darcy solemnly set the robot in the middle of the portal base. Her array looked like clawed fingers from a hand the size of a lazy boy armchair reaching up from the metal base. It had a skeletal look, it needed some body work if it worked to look less super villainy.

"Sheep-E, really?" Jane looked over the computer at her.

Darcy winked. "He's our sacrificial lamb to the stability of our rainbow bridge. May his sacrifice not be in vain." She stepped carefully out of range of possible explosion and behind the reinforced glass next to Jane. "Ok, let's make a wormhole."

"Nothing snappy about how we might be going mad scientist?" Jane asked her, all fond amusement with brilliant excitement bubbling underneath.

"Hit the big red button Janey, we're making a wormhole! We passed mad scientist a while ago."

Jane hit the button.

There was a swirl of colors, the air being sucked into a wormhole of rainbows and then it collapsed into itself and Sheep-E disappeared into it. In the other room they heard Selvig start cheering. Darcy and Jane shared looks of glee. And ran for the other room.

Darcy laughed out loud as she saw Sheep-E sitting in the other room's containment lab. It wasn't even smoking. "Holy Tamales! We did it!" She sprinted into the containment room and slid to Sheep-E and picked it up. Oh it was beautiful. Opening up it's control panel she took a look. It was still running.

Darcy was giggling into her sparkling cider as she scrolled through the data on the effects the wormhole had on her baby. She plugged Sheep-E into her laptop. It would take a while to download everything. Spinning in her wheelie chair she pouted at Jane. "Why's it take so long! I'm talking with legal and PR after this."

"You're the one trying to bushwhack the government." Jane's attention didn't waver from the readings from their sensors in the testing room.

Darcy let her head fall back. "I need a time machine Janey."

"We're already bending space, theoretically time is a part of that." Jane mentioned.

Darcy blinked, it wasn't like she hadn't known that. "You know what, I'm gonna pretend I don't know that. The temptation, Janey. Should I thank Thor that I'm in engineering instead of your weird space science?"

"We're not inventing time travel." Jane paused, her head tilting the side. "Although traveling forward in time wouldn't be that big of a step from our current work. Backward time travel would be more difficult...but theoretically our work could be adjusted…" She trailed off as her mind no doubt ran faster than a human head should.

Darcy hopped up and forced a flute of sparkling cider and a pop tart under Jane's nose. "No time travel. Don't you want rainbow bridges?"

"Right, food for thought though." Jane sipped at her victory cider and went back to reading the data.

Her shoulders slumped in relief. "Almost created a monster there." Darcy patted Jane on the shoulder. Maybe check on the prototype again before meeting the lawyers? Yes. That sounded good.

Darcy dropped face down across the foot of Peter's bed. She let out a sound like a dying whale.

"Hi Dory, I didn't know you spoke whale." Peter lowered his gameboy. "You alive?"

She cracked an eye open at him. "Did you just Nemo me?"

"You would not be fishtaken to think so." Peter pulled an earbud out.

Darcy rolled on her side. "I'm so proud." She wiped an imaginary tear from her eye. "How's convalescing."

"It's uh going good? Finished my schoolwork for today. Oh! And maybe if it's cool with you I could help with the new suit I know you and Tony are making?" Peter turned the big brown puppy eyes on her. It was devastatingly effective even if he was a little shit.

She rolled onto her back, staring at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. "Duh, you gotta know what it's going to do. Not going to send you out with tech you don't understand. And know it's only your adhesive power and the fear of my fury keeping you out of a spider themed Ironman suit."

"But Ironman suits are so cool!" His pout increased somehow.

Darcy snorted. "Kid you've got like all the powers." She held up her hands and began to count off fingers. "Super strength, agility, spidersence which is just limited precognition, adhesive abilities, durability, healing factor, and I'm probably forgetting something. You don't need a suit to let you punch Thor. You need a suit so when the next werewolf scratches you, you don't end up as a doggy chew toy."

"At least I'm not feeling fluffy? Cause magic moon rock." Peter set his gameboy to the side and shifted. "For like an hour I was convinced you were going to have to lock me in the hulk room on full moons."

Darcy couldn't help but laugh at his face. "We'd have gotten you your very own muzzle and leash. Videos of you chasing your tail, take you for walkies. So many missed opportunities."

"You suck." Peter picked up one of the half dozen pillows May had stuffed onto his bed, and whacked her in the face with it.

She grabbed it, sitting up and glaring at him. "If you weren't injured Dumb Dumb."

"I'd be out of bed if anyone would listen to me." Peter's cheeks puffed.

Darcy raised a brow at him. "You'd be out of bed if you weren't a Dumb Dumb. However, my curiosity is killing me. What is the big box in the corner?"

"A stuffed spider the size of a labrador and a Starkpad." Peter looked at it with an odd look on his face. "I don't get it. Tony doesn't even talk to me."

She sighed, of course it was. Standing up she went and hauled the giant spider out of the box. "It's his way of showing he cares. He just doesn't know what to do about it."

"I mean..he actually does stuff with you." Peter's hair fell over his eyes slightly.

"Because I'm an adult he can't escape and who spends eight to twelve hours a day in his monument to his ego they call Stark Tower." Darcy dumped on the spider on the foot of his bed. "It took a lot of effort for him to process you're a teenager and not a mini adult. Sadly that's making him twitchy. But he does care, a lot. You think I was the only one in the lab making sure you have a new suit to keep you safe."

Peter twitched slightly. "What do I do with it?" He pointed towards the spider.

She reached out and wiggled it's mandibles. "Look at the adorable fluffy little mandibles! You love it and name it and accept this is how poorly socialized manchild disasters like Tony show they care."

"It's just…" He flopped back onto his pillows dramatically. "He was my hero. He saved me at that Expo and then he was just always there on the news and…"

Darcy sighed. "And you thought that meant he was incredible in every way, not just certain ways."

"It's dumb." Peter muttered.

"No it's not." Darcy disagreed softly. "You should probably prepare yourself for something truly ridiculous for christmas though. Personally I'm hoping Pepper restrains him and I just end up with a car."

Darcy waltzed down the stairs. She grinned at Hunter leaning on the kitchen counter sipping coffee while chatting with May. "Sup older people."

"Hey! I'll have you know I'm in the prime of my life." Hunter countered.

She grinned at the opening. "Just means you're peaking. All downhill from here."

"Well you're just nuttier than I thought, that's what that proves." Hunter blinked as a cutting board and several tomatoes were set in front of him. "What's this?"

May just continued to bustle around. "Start chopping, I know you're staying for dinner."

Darcy just beamed. "You are a legend May Parker."

"I don't know about that. But thank you. Now could you come and start washing the potatoes?" May went back to whatever was on seering over the oven top.

She rolled up her sleeves. "Sure thing. What are we making anyways?"

////

Yuri rapped her fingers against the steering wheel of the surveillance van. Of course Quake was late. She was starting to wish it was the vigilante who cracked puns and never shut up helping her this time. No, it would be worth it. Hopefully. If Quake bothered to show up. She was considering using her cellphone to call the number Quake had given her when there was a knock on the passenger door.

She looked over and internally groaned, junkie. And then the passenger door opened and the junkie slid into the van.

"I'm not a dealer." Yuri's hand rested on her concealed weapon.

The door snapped close and a familiar individual huffed. "You do know this van screams surveillance op right? What is with government vehicles basically having 'government' slapped on them?"

"Quake?" Yuri startled as she realized yes this was the hero/vigilante.

She had to be wearing a wig because she had long black hair reaching past her elbows. Dark, smeared on makeup, holey beanie on her head, fishnet shirt pulled over black bra, worn leather jacket swallowing her up. Her jeans were torn, old dirt embedded in the fabric. Everything about the woman said she'd slept on the street.

"Never heard of undercover?" Quake's lips curled up into a smug smirk.

Yuri made a 'huh' sound in the back of her throat. "You're late."

"Well this took a bit to get into." Quake shrugged. "So you have the bugs?"

She pulled out the case and passed a comm. "I don't know how you swung that warrant, but it came through."

"I'm friends with a Stark, money is magic." Quake put in her comm and flipped open the case and checked the bugs were all in place. And then started stowing them in the inner pockets of her leather jacket. "I dropped a line to Daredevil. Hopefully he'll distract the Maggia from our investigation."

Yuri took the case back, sliding it under her seat. "Are you good to go?"

"I'm good." Quake cracked her neck. "It's been a while honestly. I've got work at four though so let's get this done."

Yuri actually paused at that. "You have a day job?"

"You think I just jump around rooftops? You do know the closest to pay I get for that is a free churro or like Mrs Bak gives us dumplings sometimes." Quake looked at her like she was an idiot.

And...Yuri relaxed, huh, so the super hacker wasn't abusing her skills. It was...nice to be right about someone. "Stay safe, don't get clawed."

Quake huffed. "I got this."

Yuri chewed on her ham on rye sandwich. "If we bring in too many people someone will snitch."

"Weird to hear a cop say the word 'snitch' negatively." Quake dunked some of her fries in some ketchup. Without her leather jacket on, and beanie no longer on her head she was looking far more like a prostitute than a druggie. It was kinda staggering the ease with which Quake switched presentation. It had definitely gotten her into the sleazy real estate office without a hitch though.

She flipped the page in the file. "We still have to get access to one of the Don's offices. I can get a warrant with your magic Stark connections. But once we hit an office we have to have a SWAT team, others come in on the investigation and they'll know we're coming for them."

"I'm a specialist." Quake looked at her while munching on her fries. "We just have to 'rob' his offices. I can get through whatever gangsters are in there without using my powers. If we make sure the warrant permits me to just go in, I can go in instead of SWAT."

Yuri just...she hated secret agent bullshit. People shouldn't be able to do that. "You'd still have to get in and out without getting shot."

"Do you see what I'm wearing? They'll let me in. I get to someone important's office. Knock them out. Get into their computer system and loot the files. Then I can just walk back out." Quake laid out. "If we want to make a point I could go through and beat the shit out of a lot of mafia minions."

And well, there was a point to that. "We're not doing the second idea. It leaves you too open with no bullet proof suit."

"If you can find out what type of person would be allowed into any high priority locations run it by me. I'm not a long term undercover type, and hooker isn't universally applicable and it's getting cold out." Quake tapped a finger on the table. "I haven't gotten to do a valley girl in a while actually."

Yuri was thankful for a chance to stuff the idiot hero into a bulletproof vest under her clothing. It nearly gave her hives letting Quake plant the bugs in her current get up. "I'll keep that in mind. Let's see what we get from the bugs. There's a warehouse they're using. I don't have cause for a warrant but I'm working on it."

"I'll email you a chat link." Quake finished the last of her fries. "And I'll keep my ear out for anything useful."

"Same." Yuri held out her hand. "See you soon?"

Quake accepted her hand and shook it. "I'll message you later."

////

May hated writing grant proposals. It was dry, required perfection, and was so detail oriented. She was relieved to hear a knock on her office door. "Come in!"

A familiar head of white hair popped in. "Hey Mrs Parker, Wanda said you could use some help around here?"

"We could always use some help." She stood up and walked around. "It's good to see you here Pietro."

He grinned. "Well how could I miss spending time with a lady as lovely as you?"

"Flatterer." She patted his cheek. "Come on, we need help cleaning the kitchen after lunch."

Pietro easily followed behind her. "I can clean."

"Good, let's introduce you to everyone and there's some paperwork you need to sign." May led him towards their kitchens.

May sipped at her afternoon cup of tea. She was enjoying the melted puddle on her office couch that had once been a super hero. "Doing alright over there?"

"So many boxes." Pietro groaned. He peeked over at her. "Can you drive me home? I don't think I can walk."

She should have known. "You ran here? No wonder you're exhausted. You'll just have to come home with me for dinner. Hunter can drive you back after his shift guarding Darcy."

He gave her a weak wave. "You just bring us all home and feed us don't you?"

"It's nice to have a full house." May had missed that. Not that her home had ever been particularly full. It'd always just been her and Ben. And then Peter was with them and their home had been full and happy. But since Ben...it was good to have family. Family that wasn't just a teenage boy growing up too fast.

Pietro's eyes closed again, he was being dramatic about all the boxes he'd carried trying to impress Katie. "No offence to you Mrs Parker but I don't think I'd want to work here. It is good but.."

"Not for everyone all the time." She agreed easily. "Do you know what you want to do?"

Pietro was oddly quiet. "Is this what you always wanted to do?"

"Not at all." May smiled as he looked at her curiously. "I wanted to be a concert pianist. I was good, but I wasn't great. And then well, I got a job as a secretary at the community college. When this position opened I decided to take it and I like it here. The work I do here is important, and I'm good at it."

She looked at the young man. "I've learned something about you hero types. You need something a bit more high stakes than carrying boxes of canned food."

"I think I will come volunteer here though. Today was good." Pietro folded his hands behind his head. "Do you mind?"

May smiled, letting her chin rest on one hand. "Sweetie, we're always happy to have the help. Just remember to sign the paperwork I showed you."

"You're pretty awesome Mrs Parker." Pietro blew a kiss at her.

She outright laughed. "You young man are going to give me grey hairs aren't you?"

"Probably." He grinned, completely unrepentant.

May leaned back in her chair and looked back at her grant paperwork. It could hold a little while later. And it felt like the kid needed an adult to talk to. "You do know Darcy won't let anyone give you a hard time for living in the Tower right? There's no rush to find something to do."

"I know, I have learned she's as fearsome as she is fabulous." Pietro winked before falling more serious, his eyes focusing somewhere around the motivational poster taped on the front of her desk. "I do not like depending on Stark for room and board."

May sighed. "At least for now it cannot be helped. But ask what you want to do with your time. You're a hero, that means you may need a job that lets you have something without stakes to give yourself a break. Or you may want something that is heroic in it's own right. But that's something you have to ask yourself."

"You give good advice." Pietro sat upright. "Thank you it's been… Clint and Laura are good people. But he's…"

Her life had become so odd. "But he's friends with a man you hate and pretending to be retired."

"I wouldn't say hate...necessarily." Pietro spoke slowly.

"Hate takes time to fade sometimes. You and your sister have been through things I can't even imagine. You're allowed to have complicated feelings about it." May sipped from her tea. "And Tony Stark is...well he certainly inspires strong feelings in others."

May passed a mug of hot tea to Daisy. "So is there a reason you're not playing whatever battle royale game that the boys are playing?"

"Not feeling it." Daisy's hands curled around her cup of tea. Her eyes never leaving where Peter and Pietro were jockeying each other on the couch. "I talked to May, my May today. It's just been a while."

May moved so she was standing besides her honorary niece. She gently bumped their shoulders together. "She's your mom."

"Yeah...yeah she is." Daisy was biting at the inside of her cheek as she turned her head towards May. "Is that...alright with you?"

And oh. May reached out wrapping an arm around Daisy's shoulders. "You have so many people who love you! How could I ever resent that?" She squeezed, smiling at the suspiciously misty eyes of the girl. "Besides, I figure I'm just adopting a couple of nieces to live with me."

"Yeah?" Daisy's voice was wet.

May hugged her even tighter. "There's never too much family."

"Do you think I could invite some of the team to Thanksgiving?" Daisy asked hesitantly.

She smiled. "You'll have to help me find a bigger table...or actually we'll have to use the Tower. But that's more than fine. They're your family too."