Wicked Wit of Women

Tilda left with a knowing smirk on her face, leaving Captain Bastian entirely puzzled. He was not about to make these women into dishonorable skanks by seducing any of them before he had formally married them. In this world called Maranthan, most places allowed having multiple wives, even though it was a rare thing to happen.

Ladies wanted to be sure about a man who would entertain many of them at once. He had to be able to provide a good life for them all, and he had to be good-looking. Being able to read surely did not hurt, as it was a rare and precious gift here.

But he didn't want to do anything drastic, not yet. In his loins he had felt the lack of intimacy, having only had so much experience before his death, and this had made him patient with women in a strange way. On the other hand, he felt himself stand up at attention in a situation as weird as this one. And then again, on the other hand, he was more than capable of controlling these urges of the flesh.

The Maiden's Mercy bobbed on the fresh, cool waves. It was a bright day that showed its gracefulness with golden rays of light bouncing off the bountiful assets of the sweaty crewmates working in the rigging, carefully treading on the ropes to avoid slipping and falling.

What a rare sight. Few men would ever dream of a group of beautiful women placing their lives in danger in order to work for someone like them. Few men would ever know the delight of a dozen soft yet strong thighs swirling over a sail in unison to unfurl the main piece of fabric like Bastian knew right now. As heartwarming as it was, his defective heart was not the one thing that he was primarily concerned about.

Em climbed down and came up to Bastian, along with Amanda and Melinda. Lia was writing something in the logbooks, being unavailable at the moment.

"You have to decide which one of us will be the first mate," Amanda said suggestively, clearly wanting to climb to that position herself. "I would have some suggestions for you, Captain Black, if you have a moment or two to listen to them."

"Do not worry," Captain Bastian Black replied with all the dignity and the pride of a man covering his immense attraction towards a woman. "I have already decided to relieve you of the duty of having to rely on mere suggestions. There is something about your intelligence that makes you especially suitable for the job…of the first mate, and you will share that position with Sammy, who will supplement that immense talent of yours with her lived experience."

The jaws of the women dropped in unison.

"Can he do that?" Amanda asked the other ladies, as if Bastian had not been there to hear her words at all. "Can he actually have two first mates?"

"Come on, Am," Em chuckled and exchanged a look with Melinda. "It is not like anything about this situation is even remotely conventional."

"True," Amanda said. "I am not sure about Sammy, but she is experienced and not a huge…I don't know which rude word she isn't, but she isn't a massive cow. Or a horrible skank. What I'm getting at here is that she is tolerable, and I can work with that."

They all chuckled and called for Sammy to come hear the news as well.

Bastian retreated into his cabin in order to have a talk with the first mates and the bookkeeper, Lia. Lia's slender fingers were already covered in ink stains and she had curled her hair into nice coils that she had put up over her head in a strategically messy bun. With what, Bastian didn't know, because they were pretty low on curling irons. The thing that mattered was that her hair looked good.

"We have just enough supplies to get us halfway to the Hunter's Crypt, but I would like it if Captain would allow us to sell some cargo when we reach Port Flintstone," Lia explained, putting up a show with her papers and calculations that was apparently the thing that people did before they all had proper presentations complete with diagrams and neat fonts.

"What cargo?" Sammy asked, her face blank.

"You think we could make enough money with what we already have?" Amanda asked. "Tilda has already smoked more than a third of the tobacco."

"Oh, I was assuming we would rob a merchant. Or two." Lia twirled a quill in her hand like she had just suggested something as simple as buying stocks.

"We…"

Sammy shook her head. "Sorry to make y'all feel bad, but no way. We have a few girls and any merchant on these waters is bound to have fifty able-bodied men."

"We don't necessarily have to use brute force," Captain Bastian mused. "A lone woman can outmaneuver seven men or more, according to the old and forgotten psychological art of gender mathematics."

There was no such thing as gender mathematics. Bastian was bluffing so hard that even his buttcheeks flushed with shame, but his face was still unreadable. At least he felt like it was a mask.

He hoped that his white lie would not arouse suspicion, but Sammy tilted her head and Amanda looked like she was holding back laughter.

"If we add another woman, though, we can multiply by…wait, two point five…which means that…approximately seventeen and a half men. The wicked wit of a woman is so valuable, and its worth grows exponentially when the number of ladies increases."

"Gods of rotten fish, is that a real thing?" Sammy chuckled. "You young, bookish fool of a captain. You think that has any basis in reality?"

"What matters is not the amount of credible research about the topic. What matters is that the rest of the ladies believe us when we explain it to them."

"Ahh. Bluffing. I understand."

"The numbers do not look credible, though," Lia pointed out. She was writing something down.