Chapter no.3 Desperation in the Dark

When we look up at the night sky filled with stars, it makes us wonder: is that all there is to our universe or is there more beyond what our eyes can see? Maybe because of the time we live in, we only see a small part of something much bigger. Let's think of our universe not just as one place, but as many layers of places that are too big for us to understand. Above our infinite universe, there might be an even bigger place that's so huge and wonderful that it makes our universe look small.

This is a special place called the Xuanjie Realm.

They say this place is home to creatures so powerful and amazing that they would seem like gods compared to us. These creatures live in a light that never ends and they don't think about time or space like we do.

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[Xuanjie Realm - Wuji Continent]

Above the mundane plane of existence, beyond the grasp of mortal hands, lies the elusive Xuanjie Realm - a realm shrouded in mystique and wonder, a realm that gives birth to beings so fantastical that they are deemed but mere figments of human imagination.

The Xuanjie Realm, an enigmatic world beyond the reach of mortal ken, is divided into continents so vast that they dwarf the entirety of the mortal realm, separated by an infinite void of space that stretches beyond the limits of comprehension.

It is upon one of these continents, known as Wuji, that the Murim reside - creatures of legend and myth, fabled beings of extraordinary power and prowess, whose very existence is nothing but a mere whisper in the ears of mortal men.

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When I woke up, everything was peaceful, which was surprising. My head was resting gently in the lap of my dear Khadija. Her hair, smooth and white like milk, hung down around us, making a soft curtain. Her snake-like eyes, full of quiet and sad love, looked into mine. Her mouth, pink like roses just starting to open, moved to ask in a whisper that made me shiver, "Why did you break our promise?"

Fear crept through me as I couldn't help but look up and see something scary: blood was slowly dripping down her beautiful face. I tried to say I was sorry, to tell her I loved her, but no sound came out of my mouth.

All I heard was "Murderer." It was the voice of Aisha, joining with Khadija's, making a terrifying music that wrapped around me, blaming me. "Murderer," they said again and again. With each word, they turned into frightening, metal ghost-shapes, making swords that stabbed into me.

Suddenly, I was sinking into a huge, rough ocean of blood. Bodies with empty eyes that seemed to blame me floated on top. A big, scary creature, made from Aisha and Khadija mixed together, came out of the red waves, making a big dark shape that covered my world. It stretched out arms made of blood towards me, looking like it wanted to swallow me whole.

My eyes opened wide, pulling me out of the bad dream and dropping me back into a sad, empty real world. Breathing hard and covered in sweat, I tried to push away the sad and guilty feelings that stuck to me, filling the quiet dark around me with their scary whispers.

My heart was shaking inside me, caught by the leftover sounds of those scary voices that blamed me. I couldn't move, held in place by memories and the bad feeling of having done something wrong. Darkness was all around me, feeling almost like it was alive and didn't like me very much. I opened my eyes but only saw a deep blackness that felt like it was holding me tight inside it.

My arms and legs felt heavy and wouldn't do what I wanted them to. A scared feeling, like an old enemy, started making it hard to breathe, and my lungs hurt trying to get air. So many questions rushed around in my head, banging into each other and making a noisy mess. Where was this place? Was I all by myself, wrapped up in all this darkness?

The only sound was water going drip-drip-drip, repeating over and over through the quiet, dark stillness, always reminding me of how alone and scared I was. My clothes felt wet, and a nasty, old smell filled the air, making everything even worse.

As I stayed there, unable to move and trapped inside this invisible box, my mind didn't want to but went back to things I remembered. It was remembering times with the happy, friendly people in the hidden away place in Baghdad, which was now forever quiet and not warm anymore.

Tears made wet tracks down my face, and they tasted salty like the blood that had come out of Aisha when she died. The scared and horrible look on her face played over and over in my mind, with her fingers slipping out of my hand and her eyes, once so full of fun, going empty.

Her being gone was like a painful wound inside me, and it hurt more with every soft whisper of "Murderer" that filled the empty dark around me. My mind was broken into pieces by feeling so bad and so sad, a hurting without any end. I hadn't been able to save her, and the world had decided to punish me by putting me in this dark place. I could still feel how warm her blood had been, so different from the cold dark now holding me tight.

My memories seemed to be making fun of me, showing my pain and my loss in a mean way. The big, scary thing made of Aisha, Khadija, and my bad feelings was trying to swallow me up, and the ocean of her blood was trying to pull me under. I was floating in it, with every bit of sadness, regret, and dislike for myself washing over me, slowly wearing me away.

But even with all the sadness, a tiny light of not giving up shone inside me. I wouldn't let the darkness swallow me up.

I wouldn't let this be how I ended, and I wouldn't let Aisha's memory disappear into this mean darkness. With everything in me, I quietly promised to stay alive, to get out of this darkness with a single goal made from sadness and anger: to get back at the man with bandages who had taken her away so cruelly.

Closing my eyes, I tried to make myself strong against the surrounding blackness that wanted to suck away my determination. My breathing, even though it was weak and hard, told me that I was still alive, even if just a little.

And in that sad dark, I held onto that tiny bit of determination, letting it protect me from my own storm of sadness... I would hold on because anger burned inside me, a tiny fire kept going by remembering Aisha's life being taken away. That man with the bandages, who brought me so much pain, would not escape me. Even though my body was stuck in this dark place, my determination was free and made stronger by the ghostly sounds of Aisha's painful screams. As sleep wrapped me up, giving me a small break from the dark around me, I held tight to that determination, a single steady thing in the endless black, promising to get back at the one who had brought me all this pain.

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With a loud, painful scream, I opened my eyes. But I didn't wake up into a normal, safe world. I realized that the scary hours I had just lived through weren't just a bad dream - they were really happening to me. My throat let out a rough, hurt sound, and I could hear how sad and desperate I felt inside.

I just lay there, surrounded by darkness, my scream echoing in the empty space, harsh and without any mercy. I let the scream hang in the air for a short time, creating an eerie sound in the darkness, before it got eaten up by the unending blackness around me.

Tears made wet tracks down my face, mixing with the cold sweat on my forehead, my body shaking with pain that I couldn't escape. My throat was so dry, it hurt, and it wanted even just a tiny bit of water. Every time I tried to swallow, it was a hard reminder of how thirsty I was. I could feel myself getting weaker as I kept trying to ignore the strong thirst trapping me.

With a shaking determination, I tried to lift myself up, my arms wobbling under the heavy weight of my sadness. My heart, frozen with grief, beat slowly, barely moving life through my body. I used what little energy I had left, trying to make my weak body lift itself up. My arms shook, almost giving out on me, as I barely managed to prop myself up on my elbows.

My legs, which I had almost forgotten about because they felt so numb, reluctantly did what I wanted them to do, even though they shook uncertainly under me. Every effort to stand up was a struggle that broke my heart, my body wanting to give up but my will trying to keep going.

The darkness around me stayed, watching my pain without giving any relief. My arms and legs felt so heavy, like they were trying to pull me down into the deep, dark nothingness. Falling back to the ground, my hands touched the cold, wet dirt, and my fingers followed the moisture that tempted my unbearable thirst.

In that sad moment, tasting my own tears gave me a little bit of relief, the salty flavor stinging my dry, cracked lips. But even with all this happening, I held onto hope. It was a small light in the darkness, a tiny bit of possibility that stopped me from going crazy. I concentrated on the little things: the light feeling in my fingers and toes, the wetness of the air, and the sound of water dripping down the wall. These small things kept me sane. They were the fragile connections that kept me together while I tried to survive in this dark pit of sadness.

Despite feeling so weak, I made myself move with a determination that was stronger than my worn-out state. Moving was slow and very hard, my muscles weak and not wanting to work, but I kept going. Each movement hurt a lot, a sharp, burning pain that wanted to take me over with every second that passed. But I held my teeth together and kept going, moving little by little towards the sound of running water that promised to take away the awful thirst eating at me from the inside.

As I kept crawling, I felt my whole body shaking from trying so hard, and each breath was tough to take as I tried to get air into my lungs that felt like they were on fire. The dark seemed to be closing in around me more and more, trying to put out the tiny light of hope that was keeping me moving. But I wouldn't stop, I wouldn't let the dark emptiness take me.

Then, after feeling like I had been crawling forever, I made it to the wall. My forehead and chin touched the damp ground, giving me a cold, clammy feeling that sent shivers all over me. I bumped my forehead against the wall with a soft thunk, making my head spin, but I didn't feel any pain. Instead, my attention was all on the cool water running down the wall, a line of hope in this dark, sad place.

Feeling a desperate kind of craziness, I stuck out my tongue and touched the wall, feeling the wonderful feeling of water on my super dry lips. It was like a magic, like a gift from above, giving me a drink and giving me new strength. I drank the water as fast as I could, like a thirsty dog, loving the taste of life in this place of death.

The drops of water moved along the curvy concrete wall, like they were dancing with each other, moving together just right. It was just a little bit, but it was the life-saving water that was keeping me alive. My tongue was so dry and swollen, and I could feel the hot, desert-like feeling that had taken over my body. I was so desperate for something to drink, and seeing the water drops, my mind raced with ideas of what I could do to get them.

I licked the wall like crazy, needing to drink. As the water went into my super dry body, my hunger went away, or maybe my mind was playing tricks on me, making me think I wasn't hungry anymore. The water was cool and made me feel alive again, and I leaned back against the wall and let out a breath as the water helped my dried-out muscles. I moved my arms and legs slowly, feeling strength coming back to my body. The parts where my limbs bent started to feel looser and I felt like my muscles were getting stronger, or maybe that was just a trick my mind was playing to keep me from losing hope.

My clothes were ripped and hanging off my very skinny body. I felt like I had been trapped in this place forever, with no way to get out. The dark around me was making it hard to breathe, and it was so silent. The only thing I could hear was my own heartbeat, and it felt like it was getting louder and louder as time went on.

When I had enough strength back, I tried to stand up. "Come on!" I said to myself, my teeth clenched together, and veins popping out on my forehead from trying so hard. Just moving on the floor and getting up on my two legs needed a whole other level of strength and mind focus. It was really hard and painful for someone who had been laying down for so long, my whole body not moving.

The fear of dying made me push through the pain and gave my legs strength. They were shaking, and a cold sweat was pouring down from my body like a waterfall. All the water I had drunk before seemed to have come out as sweat. "Stop sweating so much!" I said through tight teeth, taking a big breath. My body shook like I was going to fall over soon, but I kept my balance. I finally stood up on my own two feet. To think, this was something to be proud of in my mind. "Hoo!" The breath I had been holding in came out as I wheezed, standing and holding onto my thighs with my hands. I couldn't see it because it was too dark, but I thought that maybe steam was coming off my body. That's how hot I felt.

"Hehehe," I chuckled at my own joke, breathing in and out, waiting for the hot feeling to go away. But there was no break from it. The dark was still there, wrapping around me like a heavy, suffocating blanket. It felt like I was trapped in a real-life version of a terrible sadness. I couldn't help but feel a little jealous of the animals that could see in the dark. I had stopped trying to see with my eyes, like maybe, somehow, I'd suddenly be able to see in the dark.

When my fingers barely touched the concrete wall, I felt something small and hard in the cracks. My curiosity took over and I pulled it out, suddenly feeling something really strange. The small object, a mushroom, started glowing, lighting up the whole room. The light was so strong it felt like needles poking my eyes, giving me a terrible headache. But even with all the pain, I couldn't stop looking at the glowing mushroom.

The light was so bright that I had to close my eyes tight, with tears running down my cheeks as I tried to handle the sharp pain. Even with my eyes closed, the light was so strong it filled every tiny space in the room, putting a soft, dream-like glow on everything.

I found myself looking at the bright green moss on the walls. It seemed almost alive, moving and shifting like it wanted to eat the walls. I moved through the moss and found something amazing underneath. Hidden by the moss were old murals and writings carved into the stone, hidden by many years of moss growing over them. The murals showed pictures of a civilization that was forgotten a long time ago, with images of people and creatures that seemed like they were from another planet. The writings were in a language that was completely new to me, something from another world.

The mushrooms growing from the moss were a dark purple color, and their light moved and sparkled, making shadows on the walls that changed and moved around. I couldn't see anything but the light, and the pain was so bad it made me feel confused and dizzy. My head was spinning as I fell back, and there was a loud ringing in my ears.

Even though the light was so strong and painful, I didn't let go of the mushroom. I felt a strange connection to it and didn't want to let it go. The pain and light kept going for what felt like forever until finally, it started going away. The light got dimmer, and the pain went away, leaving me feeling tired and worn out. I slowly opened my eyes, looking at the mushroom in my hand. It was still glowing, but now the light was soft and gentle, and easy to look at.

Looking at the strange mushroom, I couldn't stop thinking about the civilization that had carved those ancient murals into the stone walls. What had they seen, what had they known, that we still didn't know? The answers to those questions stayed a mystery, but one thing was sure. There was something in that room, something strong, something that was too hard to understand.

I was shaking, and my mind was all mixed up. I didn't understand what just happened, but I knew I needed to leave that place fast. I turned and ran, not looking back until I was far away from that bright light and painful feeling.

I wasn't sure what color the mushroom was, or what type it was. Some mushrooms you can eat, but some can make you really sick. It might have been one that could poison me, or it might have had a disease. I couldn't tell, even if I could see it, but now all I could do was feel it with my fingertips. My stomach hurt with a twisting pain, and I remembered how hungry I was. Drinking water was only a quick fix. I needed to eat.

My fingertips couldn't tell me if the mushroom was safe to eat. But just having the moss in my hand made me so hungry my mouth started watering. I put the mushroom down, and touched the walls.

"Don't eat it, it might be poison," I whispered to myself, trying to stay sane. But my hunger was stronger than my sanity. I wanted to eat something, I didn't care if it was poison, I didn't care if it was my last meal. I just wanted food.

I took the mushroom and put it in my mouth. A horrible, awful taste hit my tongue. The taste was so bad I almost threw up. But I didn't want to waste this "food," even if it was bad for me. I forced myself to keep it down, not wanting to sit down because I knew I wouldn't be able to get back up. Tears ran from my eyes and my nose ran as I forced myself to swallow the moss. It tasted really, really bad, but it was something.

The mushrooms tasted like the worst thing ever, but luckily, I didn't feel weird anywhere else, or maybe the poison would take a while to work. I kind of hoped the poison would end my suffering. After a little while, I didn't feel anything wrong except my taste buds were numb. It meant the mushrooms were safe to eat. Darn it, I kind of hoped they would end my misery.

I quickly scraped off mushrooms which, for some reason, didn't glow, and put them in my numb mouth. I couldn't taste that awful flavor anymore. It still hurt, but once I got used to it, it was okay. I scraped the wall randomly and collected mushrooms, some glowing and some not.

Once I had enough, I put them in my mouth and did it again.

"I can live. I can live somehow."

Chewing the mushrooms, I whispered to myself. Great, it looked like I had finally gone crazy.

My tongue was almost not working, and no sound came out of my mouth, but my determination was strong. As I chewed the mushrooms, I started to feel a need in my heart. I had to live, I had to get back at the person who locked me here, and if I couldn't do that, at least find out why I was locked here.

I didn't know how many mushrooms I had scraped off. I didn't feel full. But, the hunger went away a bit. My tongue kept feeling numb as it started to wear off. I touched around my mouth with my hand. Luckily, after a while, my tongue felt normal again.

I thought I was lucky, or maybe fate had other plans for me and wanted me to stay alive... sure. I took a risk that could have ended my life. I didn't know how big the space I was stuck in was, but there were a lot of mushrooms on the wall, so I would be able to stay alive for a while. Of course, I would have to deal with that awful taste every time.

I didn't know why, but a feeling of calm washed over me really strongly while I still had that terrible taste in my mouth.

My body felt all light and tingly, and the darkness in the room started moving and changing as if it had come to life. When I looked around, the walls seemed to change shape in ways that didn't seem possible, and the prison wall started looking new and dreamlike.

At first, this experience was fun and almost happy-making. The world around me seemed really alive with bright colors and moving patterns, and every sound and feeling seemed bigger and almost too much to handle. I could feel my heart beating fast, and my mind felt like it was filled with new thoughts and feelings.

But then things started getting weird. The colors became even brighter, and the patterns started changing in ways that were kind of scary.

I could "see" sounds and "taste" emptiness.

The room felt like it was getting smaller around me, and every sound was really loud in my ears.

I tried to pay attention to my breathing and tell myself that what I was seeing and feeling wasn't real, but the scared and panicky feeling only got bigger. I felt like I was losing touch with what was real, and that the world around me was falling apart.

My thoughts were all over the place and didn't make sense, and it felt like time was moving differently than normal. I couldn't tell if it had been a few minutes or a few hours since all this started, and I couldn't find a way to feel normal.

As everything got even more intense, I felt like I was being pulled into a swirling dark and messy place. Every feeling was too strong, and I couldn't find a way to get away from the really big wave of emotions and feelings.

...

Not moving, the boy stayed in a kind of ghostly stillness, the secret whispers of the Darkling Deathcap Mushroom moving through his whole being, his young mind flying into a weird, heady place of strange pause. From the deep places of his inside, a deep, mysterious warmth grew, opposite to the cold anger that had once flowed inside his breakable form. His skin, once just a normal covering, now moved with a heavenly light, a shiny aura falling all around him, wrapping him in a blanket of light from another world.

A bright, almost magical light started to weave around him, creating a kind of web of amazing energies, shaking with a strength that seemed to move through his very soul. This energy was so strong and was just on the edge of creating something new and also falling apart. His body shook slightly, moving with the quiet, but really strong rhythm of the spiritual Qi energy coming from the mysterious Deathcap mushroom.

Above him, something that looked like a ghost made from pure, star-like light formed, making sounds with a deepness that people couldn't really understand. It sparkled, a ghostly reflection, both strange and somewhat familiar, above an endless, really deep pool of cosmic waters, floating, connected to the boy by an invisible, metaphysical cord.

With a kind of quiet, evil grace, the glowing double, a reflection of both pain and rising above, moved towards the boy. Its movements were slow but filled with a kind of purpose that couldn't be put into words. When it touched his forehead, a shock of spiritual Qi energy moved through his reality, making a connection between the physical and the esoteric, which means the theoretical or mystical.

The aura, which was once a lively fall of star-like light, started to slowly pull back. Its energies moved away, going back into the boy's body like a mystical ocean tide, joining again with the physical body from which it came. A powerful explosion of impossible-to-understand power marked the joining of the reflective entity within the thin vessel of the boy, the borders between them breaking down in a peak of unified being.

After that, there was silence, so thick you could almost touch it. The spiritual show didn't leave behind emptiness, but a kind of mysterious respect, the quiet acting as evidence of a magical joining where the Darkling Deathcap, taking in the poisonous hatred of the child, created an alternate ego. This new being now lived within the fragile borders of a boy who was changed by the abyss.

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[ Author's Note: Darkling Deathcape Mushroom

Let's talk about the Darkling Deathcap Mushroom. It's a really rare and scary fungus that is found in the darkest, deepest places. These are spots where humans have spilled their blood and where the air is spoiled because so many souls have left their bodies. This mushroom has a special characteristic: it glows. But its light isn't steady or constant. What the Darkling Deathcap does is let out little balls of light that shine super bright for a couple of moments and then disappear, almost like the mushroom is trying to talk through its light.

But, this mushroom is really not a joke. Eating it can be really bad for your mind and your body. What the Darkling Deathcap can do is create another personality inside the person who eats it. This new personality is not friendly. It's dark, it's mean, and it wants to break the person's mind and completely control their body. If a person keeps eating the mushroom, this dark personality gets stronger and forms its own self, trying to become the dominant personality over the person's original self.

The effects of the Darkling Deathcap are not predictable and many times, you can't reverse them. People who have come across this mushroom give warnings about how dangerous it is and tell others to stay as far away from it as they can. However, there are some people who seek out the Darkling Deathcap on purpose. They want to control its power or figure out its secrets. These people are taking a big risk because the mushroom is not easy to control, and what it does can be fatal.

So, to sum it up, the Darkling Deathcap Mushroom is a glowy but very dangerous fungus that you can find in places where lots of people have died. When you eat it, it can create another, dark personality inside of you, trying to control you.