CHAPTER 1. Life

-----[ 1st POV ]-----

So.....I died?.

Thank God

Dying is painful but satisfying. Don't get me wrong though, I'm no masochist. It's just...I was simply tired of everything.

Living is hard, most especially for ordinary people....I was different from ordinary though, compared to other ordinary people, I was just normal.

Life was boring for me and I wanted to end it so many times.....I was just scared to do it.

Not that I was a coward ( partially a coward ), I was just scared of the consequences in both the living and the afterlife. Most times when I wanted to end my life, my thoughts couldn't help but move astray...'What will happen to my family?'.....'Will committing suicide make me go to hell?'....'Will my family waste their money once again?.... But on my corpse this time'....blah blah blah.

To summarize my whole life, one need just one word...I was a f.u.c.k.i.n.g PARASITE!.

I was the among the most ordinary amongst other ordinary people because I have no defining quality. No talent even though I tried to search for one inside me (Since according to motivational quotes " You have something inside of you, all you gat to do is look for it".).

*Spiritual scoff*

Bloody liars they are...Life also have hierarchy. Sentient beings fall under three categories; You are either born from a rich family with talents or born to a rich family with zero talents, have a talent with good connection, or you have neither.

Sadly, I fall under the third category.

Anyways, continuing with my story, I depended on my family even though I tried so hard to support them. I was always taking but not giving. Watching them stress themselves for me and my siblings was taking a toll on my psyche.

The mental migraine went sky high and gave me an irreparable damage on my psyche when two events happened;

The realization at 14 years old that the world doesn't give a fuck about the poor. Looking at the behavior of the government and their ballant corruption showed me that the rich will only get richer and the poor will remain poor. My family was okay at first but as the years goes by, but the actions of the government affected the poor.

Things get pricey when no jobs are provided. Like how do the government expect people to live?. They never cared, so I stopped caring for things like school and stuffs.

Don't get me wrong though, I never failed school, I just stopped putting much efforts.....why study in vain only to struggle in the future when the rich do whatever they want and still get whatever the want.

Stupid? yes, but effort or not, the result will be the same.

The second event was when I was 17 years old...my girlfriend dumped me.

Honestly, it wouldn't have been that painful if she told she doesn't like me anymore.

We loved each other ( She just loved me for a while ), we take breaks but we always come back together.....that was until one lovely day when I was scrolling online on an app, I saw that my GF's best friend ( She was also my friend at that time since I knew her through my girlfriend ) posted a video online 30 minutes prior to me coming online.

I saw my girlfriend kissing my best friend ( who was actually my GF's best friend's ex-boyfriend )...

I just broke down.

I found out later that she and my best friend were dating for over two months....and they never told me they liked each other before dating, Atleast I would have withdrawn because honestly I'm not the type that cares too much.

A little hurt for a short period of time time, then I would have moved on.

But the feeling of betrayal from three people close to me was so bad that i broke down both physically and mentally.

I recovered shorter than expected...though what made me recover quickly was because I directed all my attention on manga and novels for over a year.

I was still suicidal but it was toned down.

Anyways I continued with my life trying to help me family while not thinking of ending my life because I'm scared of what will happen to me when I die.

'Will God forgive me for suicide?' I keep saying anytime I tried to take my life.

The cycle kept going on untill I found myself in this voidy space after I got killed my drowning in a pool when I was 21 years old.

I know if some people could hear my thoughts, they will ask "Are you a believer?.". I'll answer them with a resounding YES.

I mean how can one exist without a source. That like saying machines just came out of nowhere.

So therefore, I believe GOD exists and also in some words in the bible. I was never a sucker for pastor and whatnot though. Who knows if some human twisted words in the bible or quran along the way. I just believe they contain some truths mixed with lies.

Anyways—

"Alright, enough kid"