Two Old Friends: Phase 16

Nang makarating sa Moonville ay inihatid lamang nina Allan at Gail si Samantha sa bahay nila. Pagkatapos magpaalam sa pamilya nito ay dumiretso na sila ng Nueva Ecija. Sinabi na lamang ni Allan na kailangan muna niyang makita ang mga kamag-anak nila kaya uuwi muna siya sa probinsiya nila. Saka na lamang siya ulit dadalaw kay Samantha.

Ngunit ilang araw na rin ang lumipas ay hindi pa rin siya nagpaparamdam kay Samantha. Kahit anong tawag sa kanya ni Samantha ay hindi niya sinasagot. Kapag na-miss na ang call ay saka lamang siya nagte-text na busy siya kaya hindi niya ito makausap. Ganoon din ang sinasabi niya sa mga text at instant messages nito sa Messenger. Busy siya at wala siyang panahon makipag-usap.

Alam ni Allan na napapansin na rin ni Samantha ang ginagawa niya, pero ayaw niyang sa kanya magsimula ang reconciliation. Hindi niya alam pero pakiramdam niya ay sobrang sakit ng malaman niyang for the past weeks ay magkasama ang girlfriend niya at ang first love nito. And who knows? Maybe may iba nang nangyayari sa kanilang dalawa. That is exactly what he saw when he saw them talk sa may rest house sa Subic.

Yes, he saw them talk. He saw how Samantha looked at Kenneth as if her heart is bursting with love for him. What's painful is that that was the first time he saw her like that. He had never saw her looked at him like that.

Pansin naman ni Gail ang kakaibang pananahimik ng kanyang kapatid. At sino ba naman ang hindi makakapansin sa ilang araw na pag-ignore ni Allan kay Samantha? Hindi man ito nagsasalita ay alam niyang iniiwasan nito ang girlfriend. It showed during that time that they were saying goodbye back at Moonville. He can't even look at her in the eye.

It was afternoon at parang naging habit na ni Allan na tumambay sa may veranda ng ancestral house nila at panoorin ang mga naglalarong mga pamangkin nila. Back to school na kaya naman halos naka-uniform pa ang kanyang mga pamangkin habang nakikipaglaro. Iyong iba kasi ay diresto laro na pagkagaling sa eskwelahan.

Tinabihan ni Gail ang kanyang kapatid sa wooden bench na kinauupuan nito.

"Ever wondered how our life turned out if our Mom and Dad did not migrate to the States?" tanong ni Gail kay Allan.

"Probably we would be like those kids," sagot ni Kenneth.

"You're right. But, it seems fun."

"It's fun. They look like they're having a lot of fun."

Tumango si Gail. "But then, you will not end up in Harvard, and will not work at Facebook. And that is the biggest fun of all."

Allan smiled. "Is it more fun than being a celebrity at Youtube?"

Gail shrugged. "Not really."

Bahagyang natawa si Allan sa sinabi nito.

"And, you might not have met Ate Sam."

Muling nanahimik si Allan. Nabalik ang tingin niya sa mga batang naglalaro.

"What really happened, Kuya?"

"I don't know…"

"You really don't know?"

Allan sighed, and that moment, Gail knew the gravity of the problem is beyond her brother.

"Remember that story about her first love?"

Naalala ni Gail ang bagay na iyon. Si Samantha mismo ang nagkwento nito sa kanya. She remembers it was her best friend, but he fell in love with another friend of hers. Samantha decided to leave para magparaya sa kanilang dalawa.

"What about that?"

"She met him again…"

𝘖𝘩 𝘯𝘰… As much as she knows the story, she also knows how much Samantha loved that guy and he's the reason why it took his brother nine years before he was able to capture her heart.

"And I think… I think her feelings for him are back."

Si Gail naman ang hindi makapagsalita.

"I saw them talk, and… Gail, she still loves him."

Parang maiiyak si Allan nang sabihin niya iyon kay Gail. Gusto tuloy niyang yakapin ang kapatid at i-comfort.

But instead, she said, "Are you sure?"

Tumango si Allan.

"Kuya, did she tell you?"

"She doesn't have to."

"But what if you're wrong? Kuya, what if you're concluding something that's not happening? Maybe… maybe they were really close. After all, they were friends before, right?"

"I saw how they looked at each other, Gail. I'm not that stupid."

Ramdam ni Gail ang sakit na nararamdaman ng kanyang kapatid. Hinawakan niya ang kamay nito.

"But, Kuya, aren't you going to do something about it? You'll just let her go back to that guy… Aren't you going to fight for her?"

"I will. I want to. But Gail, it's been fifteen years and she's still not over him. I wasn't able to make her forget him. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

Umiling na lamang si Gail.

"I feel like a failure."

"No, you're not. Kuya, when it comes to love, there's no assurance even though you're the smartest person in the world."

"But I wasn't able to make her love me the way she loves him."

Ang sakit nga naman noon. For so long, akala ng kapatid niya ay siya na talaga ang mahal ni Samantha. Tapos may iba palang nagmamay-ari pa ng puso nito.

"What are you going to do, then?"

"I need some time. I don't know how long, but I'll fight for her when I already can."

"What about the wedding?"

"How can you marry someone who's not sure if she's in love with you or not?"

Tama nga naman iyon. Somehow, tama na rin siguro na hindi pa sila ikinakasal. Hindi pa sila nagsisimulang magplano para doon. Mas mahirap iyong nakaplano na ang lahat, may wedding gown na at naghihintay na lang ng araw ng kasal, ay saka pa pala mangyayari ang ganoon. Mas mahirap maka-recover kapag ganoon.

Isang asul na Ford Fusion ang pumasok sa may compound nila. Nagsitabi ang mga naglalarong mga bata. Tumigil iyon sa may harapan ng bahay nina Allan. Mula roon ay lumabas si Samantha, kasunod ang pamangkin nitong si Bryan na siyang nag-drive ng kotse.

Kaagad namataan ni Samantha si Allan. Nagtinginan silang dalawa, pero kapwa naman hindi makagalaw at nanatili lamang sa kanilang mga posisyon. Si Gail na ang bumasag ng katahimikan.

"Ate Sam!" anito. Sinalubong niya ang mga bagong dating.

Samantha smiled at her. "Hi!"

Nagbeso ang dalawa.

"You remember Bryan, my nephew?"

Tumango si Gail. "Hi, Bryan!"

"Hi…" Halatang nahihiya si Bryan. Pasimple ngunit halata pa ring na-star struck pagkakita kay Gail.

"Come in," yaya ni Gail sa dalawa.

Nang nasa loob na ay sinalubong naman ni Allan ang dalawa.

"Ah, Bryan, let's go to the kitchen…"

Sumunod naman kay Gail si Bryan. Naiwan sina Samantha at Allan sa may sala. Ilang sandali ring nakatingin lang sila sa isa't isa. Si Allan ang unang nagsalita.

"Hey…"

"Hi…"

"I'm… I'm sorry… I've been very busy… with family stuff."

Tumango si Samantha.

"Let's sit down."

Naupo si Allan sa may sofa. Sumunod naman si Samantha. Magkatabi sila pero hindi naman magkaharap.

"So… I wasn't expecting you'd come. Did you miss me that much that you weren't able to hold yourself from coming?"

Sinusubukan pa rin talaga ni Allan na magbiro. That's how he had always been. Mabiro, mahilig magpatawa. Pero ngayon ay parang walang buhay ang mga jokes na binibitawan niya.

"Allan… I'm sorry…"

Teary eyed na si Samantha. Parang maiiyak na rin si Allan.

"You're apologizing, and it's making me feel like you did something wrong… Did you?"

Hindi makasagot si Samantha. Nanatili itong nakatingin sa kanya.

"It's about Kenneth, right?"

Tuluyan nang naiyak si Samantha. "I'm sorry…"

Parang madudurog na ang puso ni Allan, pero ginusto pa rin niyang tanungin para makasiguro. "Are you still in love with him?"

"I don't know… I don't know, Allan. I love you… I know I love you… but… but…"

"But you love him more…"

Samantha's reaction said it all. Parang gustong manuntok ni Allan sa realisasyong iyon.

"I could never be enough, right? I could never be that person who can steal your heart and make you forget him."

"You're more than enough…"

"But I still could not replace him… because you won't allow yourself to let your heart let go of him."

Masakit man isipin, pero iyon ang totoo. Hanggang ngayon ay mahal pa rin ni Samantha si Kenneth. She has moved forward but was not able to move on. Nasama sa pagsulong niya sa kasalukuyan iyong pagmamahal niya para kay Kenneth. Hindi niya ito nabitawan kahit kailan.

"I'm sorry, Allan…"

"Don't be," Allan said. "Don't be sorry for loving someone greatly and completely."

"I'm sorry, because it took so long for me to let go of him. But that was the past. This is the present. You are my present. And I'm choosing you."

Nagulat si Allan sa sinabi niyang iyon.

"I may have loved him all these years, but love is a choice. And it's you that I'm choosing. You're the one that I should love. We were given a chance back then, but it didn't happen because it wasn't meant to be. Because you, you are the one that's meant for me."

"But you met him again–"

"Because we needed closure. I needed closure. Allan, I love you, and it's you that I want to spend the rest of my life with."

Samantha embraced him. She cried on his shoulder, and it made him feel great. Holding her, consoling her. He had never wanted to have so much more in his life than that – being with her, holding her, loving her. And now, she's telling him that she's choosing him. It was the sweetest thing that she had ever said to him.

But why does it feel like something is not right? Why does it feel like he's not happy? Samantha chose him. They're getting married. The engagement will push through.

But still… her nearness does not feel the same anymore and her presence does not give him the usual joy that it brings to him. Something has changed, and he knows he has to do something about it… He has to do something.