Binding

I woke up the next day feeling awfully tired.

There was no sign of Erebus in my bed. As I looked around and couldn't find any evidence of him ever even being in the room, I laughed at myself for being so silly to consider that this could have happened at all. It had only been a dream. A dream that had left me quite exhausted.

The bracelet was still on my wrist, hanging loosely in the same way it did the first time I had put it on. I had a vague recollection of it tightening around my wrist until it began to draw blood, but there was no mark, scratch or bruise to be seen on my skin. I guess I had fallen asleep after putting it on and dreamed up the whole thing.

It sure was a wild, fantastical dream…

I got out of bed reluctantly and dragged my tired bones out of the house, but I tried to keep a quick pace for the rest of the day. There was a lot of work to be done and many packages to collect, before I could close the day's deliveries and finally leave for Chalkbarrel.

My haste to finish business in the village had another motive other than work efficiency, though. I had been anxious all day long, hoping to get to Redwood trail as soon as possible to see if Erebus would be at our meeting spot tonight.

I managed to leave my village at sunset. It took me a while to get to the trail, that boulder's narrow passage seemed to take forever to reach, but eventually, its dark silhouette finally showed in the distance, to my instant relief.

The more my wagon drew near it, the stronger my heart pounded inside my chest. I didn't even bother to tie up Wolly's reins when I finally reached the passage. I jumped out of the wagon as quickly as lightning and ran to the forest's borders with only one thing in my mind. To find him.

I stopped by the very edge of the forest's limit and looked for signs or movements of any kind that could indicate his presence, and then I caught a glimpse of a fleeting shadow passing by the trees. A shaky breath escaped my lips when I finally saw Erebus walking out of the forest, wearing his dark mantle wrapped close around his body.

There was something odd about his appearance though, his face seemed… haunted. As if he hadn't had a minute of rest for many long days in a row. His eyes had dark bags underneath and there was a sickly hue to his hollowed cheekbones now too.

"Are you okay?" I asked anxiously when I saw him approaching the border with faltering steps.

"I am… not quite well." He replied, his voice sounding rough and depleted.

"What's wrong? Is it serious?"

"Do not worry, it is far from fatal," he said, taking a small step forward. "I have been careless lately, that is all. Incautious actions are bound to have consequences."

"Incautious actions?" I asked, clueless. "What are you talking about? What's going on?"

He hesitated for a moment before he spoke again. "It seems that coming here to be with you is taking more of me than I imagined it would."

"Taking more of you? What do you mean?"

"I am not supposed to be here… so close to the forest's border. It is not strictly forbidden, but not exactly allowed either. Redwood used to be somewhat permissive about this but… It doesn't look like that is the case anymore."

"Is this something new or has it always been that way?" I asked, trying to understand what was happening.

"I don't come here often but, when I do, I usually return with offerings. It is a small fee to pay that seems to appease this minor transgression of mine."

"Offerings," I muttered, understanding. "And now you are returning without anything to give."

He nodded. "Redwood is not pleased. The longer I stay away from the forest's clutching hands, the more it costs me." He explained, giving me a pained smile. "In the first days, it used to take me only a few minutes to recover, but… a few minutes turned to hours… Hours became a whole day, and now it's… a lot more than that, it seems. The more I come here, the more I feel drained. It is beginning to take its toll on me."

"Oh." I mumbled, crestfallen. "So you'll be gone again, but… when you're feeling better, you'll come back, right? You aren't leaving for good, are you?" I asked, my voice coming out distressed but still hopeful.

He smiled softly. "I'll come back. But I won't be able to come as much as before, Aydan. I am very sorry." His eyes swept over the bracelet on my wrist. "I'm glad you accepted my token."

I placed a hand over the bracelet, surprised to feel it still on my wrist. I had completely forgotten I had it on me, I thought I had taken it off when I woke up in the morning and that it had been left on my bedside table.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I was so worried about you, I forgot to thank you for the lovely gift." I said, giving him an embarrassed smile.

"It is a very special piece. The material is quite rare, taken from shifting vines of Redwood branches." He told me. "I am glad you were able to work out how to use it."

"Well, it's not that hard to figure out how to put on a bracelet," I said with a chuckle, pulling the bracelet in and out of my wrist to show him how easy it was to do it.

"That is not what I mean. The bracelet links you to me, and I, to you." He explained patiently. "It is embedded with ancient dark magic."

"It does what, now?" I asked daftly.

"Like the vines that are intertwined, so are our consciousness," he said and his voice became rougher and weaker. "My mind can be where my mortal coil cannot go when you wear it."

"Do you mean… the dream… with you, in my room… it… it really happened?" I murmured, shell-shocked.

"It wasn't a dream, Aydan. The thorns in shifting vines have unique properties when in contact with your bloodstream. It can open paths to other realms and let your mind wander in them for a while. I met you somewhere between our worlds last night."

"Mind-wander." I stared at the bracelet on my wrist, mouth agape in awe. "And… is it a 'one-time-only' type of thing or…?"

"You can wear it whenever you wish to meet me again," he replied, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "But you must use it with parsimony. For it will take a toll on you as well."

He extended his arm from underneath the mantle, to show me that he was wearing a similar bracelet on his wrist, but unlike mine, which felt smooth and comfortable to wear, his bracelet had sharp thorns sticking from every nook and corner, and it was wound so tightly around his wrist that some of the blackthorns sunk deep into his skin, spreading a dark ink into his veins.

"Wearing it comes with a price, you see… but what in life that is worth something doesn't need high paying?" he mentioned absentmindedly.

"That looks… very painful," I said, frowning at the bracelet on his wrist.

"Quite, but not as much." He replied with a wry smile. "There is a pleasurable sensation at the edge of its pain. I quite like it." He gazed down at his bracelet with a fondness shining in his eyes. "I fear I might be enjoying it a bit too much. It has become somewhat… addictive." He let out a shaky exhale as if drawing breath had suddenly become laborious to him. "It hurts a lot more being close to the border, though. Not nearly as enjoyable, I must confess," he told me, raising his eyes to me.

The expression on his face let nothing out, he looked tired, sure, but still presented himself with charm and allure, but his eyes told a different truth. They held so much pain, it was unbearable to watch. How obliviously indifferent to his pain I had been all this time, while he suffered alone and in silence.

"So coming here isn't only 'draining' you, it's hurting you. Badly." I realized, riddled with guilt. But he always looked fine when he came to talk to me. He didn't seem to be in this much pain before… or was I who hadn't been paying attention?

"Has it always been this way? Has it always hurt this much? Why didn't you tell me, Erebus?"

He pulled his mantle closer so he could hide inside and escape my inquisitive gaze. "I didn't want you thinking of me as weak," he murmured, peeking at me through long, dark eyelashes.

I shook my head and stared at the ground in shame, sickened by my selfishness and my incapacity to see the truth. To see him. To see his pain.

"You are not weak, Erebus," I told him, still staring down. "I've been horrible to you. I should've known. I should have done something… helped you somehow…"

"I am good at hiding things. I push them into the shadows, far from sight, where your eyes cannot see. It is what I do best. Do not blame yourself for what is happening, Aydan. The punishment I am receiving has long been warned but I took no heed."

The trees shook lightly, brushed by a wind that wasn't there.

He looked back and frowned, listening to the creaking and groaning of the branches swaying menacingly at our back.

"The forest sees my presence so close to its borders as a plot in disguise. A futile attempt of trespassing. It is making a point of showing me the harsh nature of my restraint." He turned to face me, a sad smile showing on his lips. "Perhaps it senses what's been growing in my heart. It has been sending me warnings for some time now."

"You… You should go back." I told him, anguished. "It's okay, you don't need to keep coming here to talk to me, Erebus. I don't want you getting more hurt because of this."

He shook his head, not complying. "No. I will still come to see you. But not as much as before." he told me, stepping further back, close to the trees. "I had to come here tonight. I wanted to tell you why. I don't want you thinking I left for no reason."

"No, I understand. You must go now. Go!" I hushed him, worried that every second spent here could be hurting him even more.

"I will be gone for a while, yes. But we still have our deal," he warned me with a firm, hard stare. "You must stop by the boulder's passage to see me, whenever you can. I will meet you here when I feel stronger."

I nodded, giving him a tight-lipped smile.

"Remember, Aydan, the bracelet binds us," he continued. "You can mind-wander to see me again but do not use it too often. Its magic costs a price to both you and me." He advised one last time before retreating into the shadows of the forest.

I left with my hand clasped firmly over the bracelet while my heart constricted into a small ball inside my chest, and like the thorns on Erebus' bracelet, it wrenched and squeezed so tightly that it almost crushed in itself inside.

But now I knew that I could still see him… even if it was only in mind-wanderings… I could have a ghost of the dark making me company at night, for when my heart was crushing inside.