*Crunch* *Crunch*
Sebastian's feet made crisp noises as he walked over the frozen pavement.
He pulled his jacket tighter when the cold winter wind howled around him.
He walked faster, taking care not to step in the pile of snow that had been swept to the side.
The winter sun shone weakly, illuminating his bleak and deserted surroundings.
Perhaps it was the cold weather, but there were very few people on the streets out at this time.
Seb however didn't bother about these details and quickly approached the intersection in front of him.
Somewhere nearby a clock tower rang out four times in a row.
*DING!* *DING* *DING!* *DING!*
The time was 4 PM.
Seb however didn't need to check the date.
It might not be the coldest day of the year…
22nd of December 2016.
…but it was the shortest.
The sun was already approaching the end of the horizon as dusk started to set in.
But more importantly, he could already see 'her' figure waiting for him at the intersection.
It was a scene that had never left his memory, and perhaps never will.
After all…
It was the day 'she' died.
The person who was the closest to his 14-year-old self.
His precious little sister.
Luna Alaister.
.
.
.
Seb knelt in the snow as he inspected the corpse in front of him.
The streetlamps suddenly lit up brightly illuminating the scene.
His sister's corpse lay twisted, deformed and bleeding at the side of the road.
Her blood shined bright red against the pure white snow.
The blood trickled down the snow and pooled near his feet.
They slowly started forming into words.
The extremely detestable yet familiar method of communication.
[Attempt 1: Failure!]
[Completion Rate: 50%]
[Reason for failure: Completion rate below 80%]
"Why?"
Sebastian muttered under his breath with his teeth clenched.
His hands clenched, fingers digging into the snow as he shook with frustration.
Every single action he had taken was according to his memories…
'So why…'
'Why was the completion rate so low?'
.
.
.
Sebastian's parents were almost never at home.
They were both extremely career-oriented people and rarely interfered in the lives of their children.
Of course, that didn't mean that they didn't care about their children.
They just never had the time.
Whether it was participating together in neighbourhood events, cheering at sports festivals, or just attending parent-teacher meetings, his parents had never been a major part of his life.
Since they were rarely home but on some business trip or the other, the siblings had to rely on and take care of each other.
Things like cooking for each other, nursing each other when they had a fever or just giving emotional support was common occurrence for the two.
Thus, their relationship was extremely close and they both matured at a rate faster than their peers.
However, that didn't mean that they couldn't be childish and get into squabbles from time to time.
Like they had been on that day.
"You are late today, Brother Dearest."
"Looks like someone is mad today."
"Sebastian Alaister, do you have any idea how cold it is out here. I had to wait for 10 whole minutes."
"Really, I think that the winter cold is not that bad. The chilling feeling can be enjoyable at times."
"I don't care how much you love winter! What I know is that I was bloody freezing to my death out here!"
"Luna… what did I tell you about using bad words?"
"I am already 12 years old, give me a break!"
Seb just shook his head with a sigh… before taking off his jacket and wrapping it around her.
"Here, you won't feel cold anymore."
"Uggh… stop treating me like a little girl. You are just 2 years older than me!"
"Fine Fine. Shall we go now?"
Luna just snorted in annoyance before walking off ahead of him.
She stopped after taking a few steps and turned around, speaking under her breath.
"Thanks…"
"I couldn't hear you. Could you speak up louder?"
"I SAID THANKS! Here take your damn coat back! It's too big and it's suffocating me."
"It's fine you can keep it sis."
"In the end, I am the one who will have to take care of your ass if you get a fever. Wear it or you will catch a cold."
Seb just smirked at her antics before taking his coat back.
"It looks like you were worrying about your brother dearest. How cute."
"Idiot… You stupid-tian."
"Luna-tic."
"Why were you so late anyways."
"I got caught up in some club work. I won't be late again … sorry."
"Liar…"
Seb used his hand and ruffled up her hair.
"I still came right?"
Luna pushed away his hand in annoyance before sighing in defeat.
"Fine… I will let you off for today."
"Good."
The two of them continued walking in silence.
It was a comfortable silence as the two of them enjoyed each other's company.
Though there were always some topics that once raised, would immediately send sparks flying.
Luna suddenly stopped walking.
"I wish … Mom or Dad was here today."
Usually, Seb would have just stayed silent and left things at that.
He doted on his little sister a lot and would often let her indulge herself.
However, on that day, it just wasn't meant to be.
For some reason, he had been in a bad mood that day.
"Hey, at least I show up, unlike Mom and Dad."
"But still!"
"Well they love you more than me anyway, perhaps they might show up just for you."
"They love you too Seb. They are just… busy."
"You are still too young Luna, you will soon realise that the only thing those two care about is their damn money."
"Take that back, Seb!"
As things started to escalate, Seb ended up pushing her onto the streets.
"If you like them so much go cry to them, don't bother me about all your stupid little problems!"
Words spoken in anger were often the cruellest.
As they are often chosen based on what will make the other party hurt more.
Whether or not those words were truly meant.
While some get to apologize and reconnect.
For others, it can often be too late.
After all, what followed next was … tragedy.
As Sebastian had shoved her back, she ended up slipping on the icy pavement and …
*SCREECH*
A deafening sound could be heard as a huge black truck skid over the slippery streets barrelling right into Luna.
She was sent flying across the street; her arms and legs were twisted in unnatural angles as she lay bleeding to her death on the cold white snow.
The bright red blood only glowed brighter under the contrast as it etched its way into Seb's memory.
After standing in a daze for a while, he ran over to her body, touching her face as he tried to inspect her condition.
But she barely managed to make a bitter smile at Seb before her eyes closed forever.
It had all been Seb's fault.
If only they hadn't fought.
If only he hadn't pushed her.
But… there is no medicine for regret.
On that bleak winter day of December,
Sebastian Alaister had become a murderer.
He had killed his precious little sister.
The only person who truly cared for him.
The one he doted on with his life.
Now lay cold and dead on the snow.
And by his own two hands at that.
Seb didn't remember much of what happened next.
For most of that period he had been in a sort of daze.
Just going through the motions, present but not present.
Like some sort of undead, he watched his body being marionetted around.
Ultimately, his parents did care about the two of them.
So much that they got divorced as they couldn't handle the pain.
Blaming each other for not being there for the kids.
Though they never blamed him for her death.
Seb would never forget the look his dad gave him when he saw him last saw him.
It was not the gaze a father would give to his child.
No.
It was a gaze full of disgust, anger and hatred.
Like one gave to a death row convict; or to the murderer of their child.
Once his dad left his life his mom proceeded to raise him up singlehandedly.
She never raised that incident again, on the other hand, she became a lot more involved with Seb's life.
What she didn't manage to hide however were the occasional glimpses of pain and grief that would flash within her eyes.
And the one responsible for it all…
Had been Sebastian.
Sebastian the murderer.
Sebastian the sinner.
The event had left his personality warped, and he began to become a more and more reclusive person.
More than anything he felt a lot of anger.
Anger at the world. Anger at the truck driver. Anger at his parents.
But most importantly.
Anger towards himself.
Perhaps it was this anger that had led to the Shooter sparing his life?
Either way, it's not like it mattered anymore.
His sister was dead, nothing he could do would bring her back.
It was all his fault… but so what.
The past was the past.
What was important right now was to clear the tutorial.
And gain as much power as he could to defeat the hidden boss.
But… there was nothing he could do here.
There was no enemy to defeat, no monster to kill.
None, other than himself.
He had long understood that his sister's death was nothing but an accident.
He wasn't going to go and pick up a pointless fight with the truck driver.
Moreover, even if he somehow managed to achieve the hidden conditions and summon the hidden boss, there was no way he could fight it with the body of a 14-year-old.
Thus, the most optimal choice was to clear this phase as quickly as possible.
To suppress all his emotions and repeat his actions.
Push his sister into the way of the truck.
Kill the person who once used to be the most important to him.
Again.
And that's exactly what he did.
"Like I was saying… Hey, bro are you even listening to me?"
"I am listening…"
"You don't seem to have heard a single word I said!"
"Sorry…"
"Are you alright Seb? You seem to be acting a bit weird…"
"I am completely fine Luna… I guess I missed you a bit."
"We literally live in the same house! Can you stop being so creepy?"
"Ha-ha, you are just the same as I remembered Lil sis…"
"Seb… is everything alright?"
"I am sorry…"
Seb just smiled in response, what he didn't notice however was that a single tear had slowly started making its way down his face.
"Wh-What are you talking about bro? There's no need for sorry or thank you between us, right?"
"Just remember one thing Luna…"
"You are scaring me brother…"
"Big brother loves you the most…"
*SCREECH*
And just as the truck came skidding over the ice.
He pushed her.
He pushed his sister in the way.
As that was the only way…
The only way he could go forward…
He couldn't afford to falter here.
The means he used didn't matter.
It was all for his goal.
He had to become powerful enough to never be hurt again.
This was but a simulation…
But.
Why?
Why was it not working?
Her body lay twisted and deformed within his arms…
He could see her lips move while trying to say something…
But the words never left her mouth…
Her body slowly lost its heat…
He had lost her… no, killed her once again.
But it seems that something was off.
Was there another problem with his memories?
Was his denial acting up again?
There was no way to tell.
No way to tell what was wrong.
It's not like he could just will his memories to fix themselves.
He had somehow managed to release his sealed memories before but … there was nothing he could do about altered memories.
Not unless he got lucky somehow.
But Sebastian had long learnt that luck was not something he could rely upon in his life.
As the world around him faded to black, resetting the scenario, Seb managed to come up with one dismal conclusion.
That there was only one thing he could be sure of.
It was 'the push', and that he had been 'responsible' for her death.
So, there was no way.
No other way…
But to try to kill his sister over and over again until he managed to increase the completion rate.
I will interrupt my regular creepy quotes which could just be me or Seb speaking to you ...
by mentioning a little bit about this current second arc.
Originally I had planned on adding this as the first phase of the story, I already had this and the trauma of the third phase lined up but I felt I needed a third trauma to wrap things together nicely, thus I ended up designing what you previously read as the second arc.
This is why I have made a few changes compared to what I originally planned to do here in this chapter, but I have to say that what I have currently is way better than what I originally planned. I would like to shout out to my friend Yinghuo whose feedback has been immensely helpful.
I would also like to mention about my main source of inspiration for this current arc.
Some of you might have noticed already but this phase has been inspired by the MV Kagerou Days, of the Kagerou Project by Jin.
Though the contents are extremely different, I hope to depict the same feelings of despair of seeing a loved one die repeatedly in front of your eyes.
I hope I will be able to give justice to this arc with my writing.
Wish me luck and I guess Imma spam a few of these messages -
Creation is hard, cheer me up!
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