Chapter 12

I was the first person to take a bath this morning in preparation to confront the dreaded MOHAMMED ALI.

I combed my hair properly and scrapped all indications of a beard from my face. Although I

was not told that MOHAMMED ALI hated beards, I guessed that he did.

Kwaghtagher gave me his double-breasted suit and trouser for the occasion. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I concluded that anyone, including MOHAMMED ALI could mistake me for an embassy official just back from New York. I collected the forms and the Director's introductory letter to MOHAMMED ALI and set out.

Entering taxi, I commanded the driver to take me to ALI Group of Companies. By the time he dropped me there, it was 7.45 a.m. The Company's vicious looking guards scrutinized me

and let me in. I went direct to the General office and was received by a female receptionist. I nearly screamed at her beauty. "You are the receptionist?' She nodded. What's your name?? I asked without betraying my interest in her. Mmembe.' She said.

I changed topic and asked her to tell me when the Managing director of the company would come to the office. 'Eight O'clock

without fail.' I heard.

The computer efficiency of MOHAMMED ALI

frightened me. This meant that if I was employed I should not come late to the office for any reason since MOHAMMED ALI himself kept to time. Seeing that I had nothing to say again the receptionist left me and went to take her place. I took a look at the workers in the general office. They were about eight in number and all of them were as busy as ants. So busy were they that they

did not even know that I was around, and did not. even hear me talking to the receptionist. The workers consisted of four young men and four young girls, all of whom were beautiful to look at.

I continued observing the workers until the receptionist shouted something. I didn't hear her but all the workers heard.

The workers adjusted themselves and finally stood up. It was as if Gogol's Inspector was coming. Still, I didn't know what was happening until the receptionist looked at me and expressed

dismay at my normalcy.

'He has come!' She yelled at me like one telling a deaf that a Mig 28 has come to drop a hydrogen bomb.

I looked around. Yes, MOHAMMED ALI had come. I also adjusted myself.

MOHAMMED ALI looked exactly like me. Infact, if anyone saw him and I together, such a person would conclude that we were

brothers.

He passed through us without saying anything as we stood like statues. I watched him turn left as he disappeared through an open door to the place I guessed was his office. Even after he had passed and gone, we were still standing like Iroko

trees. I was tempted to question openly the idea of standing even when MOHAMMED ALI had passed and gone, but I suddenly remembered the Director's warning concerning the ethics of MOHAMMED ALI.

After some minutes, the receptionist said something and we sat down.

It was time for me to ask to see him. The thought of confronting this tyrant nearly killed me. Out of fear I left the general office and went to a kiosk opposite the company's office and bought a stick of Benson and Hedges so that I could smoke it

and reduce the tension in me. I smoked it to the last bit and saw that the tension had infact reduced considerably. I came back to the general office and went to the receptionist.

'How do I see him?" I asked. Who?' She asked back. 'MOHAMMED ALI' I said. The beautiful receptionist told me that I had made the worst mistake ever by calling MOHAMMED ALI by name.

We do not call him by name' She told me. What do I call him?" I asked. 'If you aren't the type of gentleman I respect' said the receptionist, 'I should have told him that you called him by' name. That would have finished you no matter who you are. I didn't say anything for a long time.

Finally I asked the receptionist to describe the passage to his office to me. All this time the workers were as busy as ants.

Follow, this way. Turn right. MD is written on his door."' I started to go immediately. 'Hold on!' the receptionist screamed at me. I stopped. Do not look at the beautiful copy-typist on your right as

you enter his office. That woman is his wife. He is the most jealous man in Africa South of the Sahara.

If you look at her he will lock you up even if you are the deputy governor of this Borno State. I thanked her and went straight to where she

described.

I saw MOHAMMED ALI's door. I knocked with a shaky hand. I thought I heard someone telling me to come inside, so I opened the door and entered, locking it behind me.

'Good morning Sir,' I said. 'I have a letter for you from the Director of Lake Chad Research Institute, and also some forms."

Mohammed Ali's handsome face, which was like mine, turned into wrinkles as he began to sneeze badly. He straightened his hands and I gave him the letter and the forms, although he was almost

dying because of a terrible odour which only him sensed. His wife certainly didn't sense such odour because she was busy on her typewriter unabated. I couldn't prove if she sensed this odour because I dared not look in her direction to see if she was also contorting her face.

Mohammed Ali contorted his face and sneezed badly, giving me the impression that he was suffering from a kind of disease yet unknown. He barely managed to ask in a clear voice of someone who was being choked to death by an evil odour.

'You smoked cigarette?' It was then I knew that he had sensed the odour of the cigarette I had just taken in the kiosk. I nodded guiltily. Her scribbled something on a paper and gave it to me. What he wrote on the paper reads:

'Go outside and stay there until every iota of

the cigarette odour has gone from your mouth. If you stay for three hours and the odour persists, do not come for a reply to the Director's letter until the odour is gone. You must stay there, in that case, for six hours. I repeat, do not come for a reply to the Director's letter until the odour is gone.'

I read it and came close to protesting when I remember that it was the unsafest thing to do. So

I simply bowed to him and left his office to stay for some hours and get rid of the cigarette odour.