Chapter 23: Ch19: Heart Kreuz

AN: Ok, and now for our regularly scheduled update!

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What? You thought I wasn't going to post an actual chapter this week because it was Christmas? The Holiday most about giving? Ha! What silliness! Of course I'm posting a regular chapter this week in addition to the holiday special! Also, kinda bummed me out that only one person said anything about that special. :/ Seriously, there were some pretty huge hints about some pretty huge stuff in there!

Ah well, anyway, here we go! Reviewer Reply!

DarkDrawerJ: I'm very pleased you enjoyed! And thank you for being that chapter's sole commenter thus far! I hope you had a very merry Christmas/holiday of your choice!

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MAN THAT WAS QUICK...

Ok, let's get this show on the road!

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Chapter 19 – Heart Kruez

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"HOW?! IN THE HELL?! DID YOUR FLAME BRAIN ASS WORK UP TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FOUR MILLION JEWELS WORTH OF DEBT?!" Gajeel roared in consternation at Natsu.

We were at a small tavern in Thistleton. Our train south was set to depart later that evening, and now that the storm had rained itself out, it had left a nice cool air about the town and the sun was even starting to peek through in places. I'd even have hazarded a guess that it was to be the first of many crisp autumn mornings. The girls had gone shopping for some fresh attire for the desert and then jungle treks Dr. Whistler had informed us were in store. Being guys, we were willing to forge on in what we already had, but Erza, as I later learned, was more than a little bit of a hoarder when it came to armor, clothes and basically anything she could stuff into her Requip space, and Levy and Lucy weren't opposed to a little shopping either.

Apparently Thistleton was something of a hotspot for the clothing industry as I had learned when Erza made quite possibly the most disturbing and high pitched sound I had never wanted to know she could make. While Natsu, Gajeel and Happy clutched their ears in googly-eyed pain, I tried to unclench my muscles from the tree branch I'd wrapped them around ten feet off the ground. Down on the ground, Erza had excitedly explained to Levy and Lucy that Thistleton was apparently the home of her favorite clothing and armor brand, Heart Kreuz.

I finally managed to pry myself free from the tree branch I was hanging from like a three-toed sloth and dropped back to the ground as Levy and Lucy developed hearts in their eyes at the way Erza was hyping the local clothing industry, "Okay, so Erza wants to go clothes shopping. You want me, Natsu, Gajeel and Happy to go and get some train tickets while you ladies do that? We can meet back at that restaurant over there. I'll let you know with my Archive when the train's leaving."

Now almost an hour later with our train not departing until that afternoon, I sat with two dragon slayers and a cat at the bar in a small tavern trying not to grin while one dragon slayer berated the other for being a reckless idiot and the reckless idiot's flying cat sniggered around a fish he was eating. A part of me idly mused that it sounded like the start of a joke, Three wizards, two dragon slayers and a talking cat walk into a bar…

Then the bartender asked if we wanted any drinks. Gajeel replied that he really needed a Bloody Irene, which was apparently tomato juice and vodka, the same as a Bloody Mary back home. The bartender proceeded to plonk an apple on the bar. All three of us looked at the apple in confusion and then Gajeel looked up at the bartender, "Uh dude, I said a Bloody Irene. You know, the tomato juice and the vodka? I could understand if it were a tomato soaked in vodka, that would actually be kinda cool…but this is an apple."

The bartender nodded, "Yep, just bite into it."

Gajeel took the apple, looked at it skeptically, looked at the bartender and then bit into it. He chewed for a moment with a thoughtful frown, "Holy shit, this tastes like tomato juice…"

The bartender nodded, "Yep, now turn it over."

Gajeel eyed him skeptically and then did so before declaring after another bite that it tasted like vodka. He looked at the bartender in surprise, "How da hell'd you do dat?"

"Magic," the bartender told him cheekily before pointing to me, "Next?"

I grinned, "I'll have some whiskey and have you got anything fizzy and kinda bittersweet to put with it?"

Bartender nodded, "Royal and Wiz it is." So saying, he plonked another apple on the bar.

I blinked at it and then I picked it up, "Not sure I believe you ya know." Then I bit into it and after chewing for a moment just to make sure, "Alright there's the whiskey…" but there's no way in hell you made the other side of this taste like coke, I thought to myself. So thinking, I turned it over and bit into the other side. I chewed for a moment and then gave the bartender a flat look as I registered the unmistakable taste of coca-cola, "Alright, I admit it, you're good."

The bartender nodded, clearly pleased, "Yep." He pointed to Happy, "Next?"

"Have you got a fish that tastes like Tuna and Salmon?" Happy asked with big wide eyes. "Yep." Plonk. Another apple. Happy bit into it and he looked like he was almost in tears as he bit into the other side of it, "It's beautiful…"

The bartender grinned and looked at Natsu, "Alright brother man, whatcha want?"

Natsu thought about it for a minute, "Have you got an apple that tastes like pussy?"

The rest of us spewed apple everywhere and shouted in unison, "NATSU!"

The bartender's reply? "Yep." PLONK. Another apple.

As Gajeel, Happy and I stared, Natsu eagerly snatched it up and bit into it, only to immediately spit it right back out, "WHAT THE HELL MAN?! THIS TASTES LIKE ASS!"

"Turn it over."

…

That took a split second to register and then Gajeel and I nearly fell off our barstools laughing. The bartender was grinning from ear to ear and Happy was tearfully demanding to know why Natsu would want to eat a cat. Gajeel and I were laughing way too hard to help Natsu explain it to the poor fuzzball.

Gajeel and I had managed to stop laughing about five minutes later, but we still had very large grins plastered across our faces. Then Levy's voice bounced through my head, "Hey Jerry? Am I doing this right?"

I sat bolt upright and looked around, quickly pinpointing her location half a mile away (by no means an unimpressive broadcast distance, especially for a beginner), "When did you learn Archive?! And you don't have to talk out loud you can just think it now that the connection's established."

You didn't think I was going to pass up a chance to boost my ninety eight percent retention rate that last two percent did you? Of course I learned Archive! If I'd known we had a book on it I would've learned it years ago! Do you have any idea how satisfying it's going to be to finally kick that smug pretty boy Hibiki Late's ass in a trivia competition?!

I quirked an eyebrow, Someone can beat YOU in a trivia competition? For that matter, you do trivia competitions?

I got the distinct impression of a pout as Levy replied, Yes I do! It's a hobby that I happen to excel at. I waited a moment and raised a finger to forestall Gajeel, Natsu and Happy's questions as Levy continued, Anyway, would you three mind coming over here? We want second opinions.

I was suddenly very VERY glad that Archive could only transmit what I wanted it to transmit as utterly delightful images started racing through my head about what they might be wanting second opinions on. I smacked myself in both sides of my head and tried to clear my head so that none of that got transmitted and found a message from Levy in my mental "inbox": No we are not trying on lingerie.

I suddenly found myself wondering if I had transmitted unintentionally and then shook my head and sent back, Aw…eh whatever I'll ask Gajeel and Natsu and we'll probably be there in a few minutes.

Great!

Levy shut down the link and I shook myself slightly, "The girls are trying on new outfits and would like our opinions. Not lingerie unfortunately, but I am still not one to refuse beautiful ladies wanting to show off a little."

"Why would I want to look at Erza?" Natsu asked with a confused frown.

"Do ya wanna look at that little blondie o' yers that looks like a younger bouncier version of Anna-sensei?" Gajeel asked with a sly grin.

Natsu flushed as pink as his hair, "Good point." I couldn't help but nod in agreement as I thought, although really I think they're all extremely easy on the eyes.

"Anna-sensei?" I asked curiously as I forked over some jewel for my apple.

"The woman who taught us how to read and write," Gajeel clarified, "Flame-brain there had a huge crush on her."

Natsu sputtered and stammered, trying to deny it and then Gajeel cut him off, "Oh please, you were runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off pickin' flowers for Wendy and the lady dragons for hours because you got flowers for Anna-sensei and not Wendy or any of them. Even Sting was laughin' at ya!"

Natsu sulled up and pouted. After a minute he grumbled, "I like blondes. It's a fire dragon thing. Sue me."

"Actually please don't," I deadpanned to the bartender as I paid for Natsu's apple as well, "As Gajeel pointed out, he's up so far past his ears in debt it's not even funny."

"THAT REMINDS ME!" Gajeel barked, "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!"

"He burned down half of Hargeon fighting with a slave trader that knew magic a little over a month ago," I declared bluntly, "Granted most of it was the slave trader's doing, but given Natsu's ability to eat fire, he could've probably completely neutralized the damage since the guy was a fire wizard."

"BUT HIS FLAMES TASTED LIKE SHIT!" Natsu protested.

"And would you eat them again for a hundred million jewel?" I asked with a polite smile.

"WELL YEAH WHO WOULDN'T?!"

"Because I checked with Master Makarov and Hargeon accounted for almost a hundred and seventy million of your debt. You wouldn't be half as deep in the hole as you are right now if you'd just nommed his attacks, kept after him until he ran out of power and punched him in the face." I told him flatly. Natsu deflated immediately. I sighed, "Well come on, we don't want to keep those three waiting."

…

…

I'd gotten us to the Heart Kreuz…it couldn't be called a mere store…the Heart Kreuz emporium… in pretty good time. Now Natsu, Happy, Gajeel and I were sharing a bench outside a dressing room. The girls were in a changing room behind a curtain.

"Why are we doing this again?" Gajeel rumbled quietly.

Then Levy stepped out in a black leotard with gray tights underneath, fingerless gloves, black boots and a denim jacket. I could tell from the way Gajeel's jaw dropped that his question was thoroughly answered, but I grinned anyway, "That's why."

"Point," Gajeel replied numbly, his eyes the size of saucers and totally locked on our resident bookworm.

Levy grinned and did a little twirl, pausing with her back to us so she could shoot a wink over her shoulder, "So, how do I look?"

Gajeel looked like a fish out of water and I grinned mischievously as Natsu and Happy started questioning his well being. His stunned expression was very clearly not lost on Levy whose smug little grin suddenly turned mischievous. She skipped across to us and got right up in Gajeel's face with an immense smirk as she laid a finger to his chest, "Like what you see?"

Gajeel let go a breath I hadn't realized he was holding, his eyes totally locked on Levy, "Whoa…"

Levy's grin grew and she held his gaze for just a minute more before whirling away from him, the air of daring and absolutely enticing confidence disappearing in an instant as she went back to her usual lightheartedly bubbly self, "Hey Erza! Lucy! I definitely need at least three sets of this!"

Then she skipped back through the curtain and all three of us stared after her. After a moment I broke the silence, "Black Canary huh? She didn't strike me as a martial arts type at all!"

My three fellow bench sitters looked at me, "Huh?"

"Oh, Black Canary's a character from a series of stories where I'm from. She's a superhero who specializes in hand to hand combat and has a super-scream that can bring down buildings if she really wants to," I explained, "That outfit Levy was wearing was a dead-on replica of what Black Canary usually wears."

"Levy can actually be really scary when she wants to be. Not quite as bad as Erza, but not far behind her either," Natsu mused before adding, "She doesn't get into the guild brawls often, and even then, she usually uses her magic to trick people and trip them up. I've only ever seen her get actually angry once."

"What happened?" Gajeel asked curiously.

"She kicked Natsu across the Guild Hall, flipped Gray into a table so hard it broke and put Elfman on the ground begging her to let go in about three seconds. There's a reason everybody leaves her alone when the brawls start," Happy explained with a grin, "Erza taught her when they were little because Mirajane was teaching…" He trailed off and shot a worried glance at Natsu who looked like he'd just taken a punch in the feels.

It was only a momentary pause, but it was there. Then Happy picked back up, "Anyway, Mira and Erza were always going at it and when Mira was teaching somebody Erza had to do it too. So Levy would up learning how to fight from Erza and now nobody's stupid enough to make her angry. Plus Levy's super nice and everybody likes her so nobody wants to be mean to her anyway. I've never seen her act sexy like that though, she must liiiiike you!" Happy giggled.

Gajeel unwittingly rewarded Happy's teasing by blushing as pink as Natsu's hair, which was indeed kind of hilarious, "Y-you really think so?" There was nothing at all funny about the sheer longing and hope in his voice though, so I elected not to laugh at him.

Happy on the other hand is an ill-mannered little shit with a mean streak and the maturity of a bratty eight year old (which technically he was), so he immediately seized upon the opportunity to mock the iron dragon, dismissively waving his hand, "Nah, Levy's way too nice for a big smelly brute like you."

If Natsu and I hadn't been there to restrain him, I'm pretty sure Gajeel would've popped Happy's head right off his fuzzy blue shoulders for that. Even with us there, Happy's wings and practice at running away from people he'd infuriated were probably all that saved him.

"Calm! Down! Gajeel!" I ground out as I struggled to hold the full nelson I'd wrapped him in when I saw him lunge for the blue fluff ball while Natsu tried to hold him back from the front. It was vaguely unsettling that Gajeel wasn't even staggering with a hundred and sixty pounds on his back. Note to self, never let Gajeel land a solid hit. "He's just trying to rile you up! Ignore him and I'll help ya paint him pink later, but if you go on a rampage in here tryin' to catch him, the girls'll kill all three of us! You don't want Levy to see you rampaging like some kind of monster do ya?!"

It really said something about how interested in Levy he was that Gajeel immediately froze and settled down. "Tch, ya got a point," Gajeel growled, "Little blue turd ain't worth my time." Then he glanced over his shoulder at me, "Are you gonna let go?" I let go and slid back to the ground, I hadn't realized he was that much bigger than me.

I raised my hands in a peaceful gesture, "Sorry, sorry."

"Well, if you boys are done contemplating the best way to skin the cat," Lucy drawled from the curtain, "How do I look?"

I glanced over and my eyes went as wide as Gajeel's had a moment before. Lucy was wearing a black body suit that covered everything but her head and neck. It looked like it might've been leather at a glance, but the way Lucy was able to move around in it proved that whatever it was under that subtle matte black armor plating all over it, it wasn't leather. What caught my eye the most though was that it was a form fitting black body suit that showed off her curves to the absolute max. There was white fur poking up from the inside around the collar and really the only thing missing was a mask. I blinked as it hit me, "First Black Canary and now Black Cat, I'm starting to wonder if Heart Kruez's designer has been to my world."

Everyone looked at me in surprise, "Huh?"

I pointed at Lucy's outfit, "That's nearly identical to the outfit worn by a very famous comic book character, just like the one Levy was wearing a minute ago. Also yes, you look stunning in that."

Lucy smiled and twisted a little to look at herself from every angle she could, "Yeah I was thinking about getting this as a battle suit for when we go on jobs. It cleans itself with magic, it's got heat regulation lacrima in it so that it won't get too hot or cold no matter what I wear it in, and it's enchanted to harden whenever any substantial impact hits it. It'll basically paralyze me for a split second, but it'll also make everything but my head indestructible to physical attacks. You would not believe what all they've tested this against. Even Erza couldn't break through it on the demonstration dummy. And!" she added with a grin as she pulled up a hood from under the fur on the collar, revealing it to have a pair of stitched on cat ears, "It also has this super cute hood that heightens my hearing and lets me see in the dark when I have it up!"

I shot her a thumbs up with a grin, "Sounds like a winner to me!"

Gajeel nodded his approval, "Looks good on ya girly."

"Definitely!" Natsu agreed eagerly, "Have they got another one?! Everyone should have an Erza-proof suit!"

All three of us looked at him and Lucy sighed, "Un…fortunately it's also super expensive. I don't think I can afford it."

"How expensive?" I asked warily.

"Even wholesale because we're here at the factory it's a hundred thousand jewels," Lucy groaned, "I could get it, but it would totally wipe me out. There's no way I'd be able to afford my rent next month!"

I blinked and then told her flatly, "Lucy if all you're worried about is your rent, I'm pretty sure your landlord would prefer to have you alive, healthy and a little behind on a rent that he told you upfront there was no need for you to have rather than injured or even dead because you passed up a chance at a top of the line battle suit. Besides," I added brightly as Lucy looked at me in surprise, "we may not even be back by next month!"

Gajeel looked at me kinda sideways, "Eh dude, not sure if you know this, but that's kiiinda not how rent works."

"It is since I'm her landlord," I replied smugly and was immediately rewarded with a look of dawning realization and excitement on Lucy's face, "I own the apartment building we live in. Bought it when we moved in."

Gajeel looked at Natsu, looked at me. He looked at Lucy, back at Natsu, back at me, "You and her are livin' together?"

"No," I replied, "she has one of the two upstairs apartments, I have one of the two downstairs. She needed a place to stay and since she helped me find the place, I offered her one of the apartments when I bought it. I wasn't even gonna charge her but she insisted on it. So if she needs a bit of slide on next month's rent to keep herself alive on a decade quest," I shrugged dismissively with a grin, "eh."

Gajeel thought about that for a moment, "You wouldn't happen to have a room to rent would ya? I'm looking for something in the area."

"Twenty five thousand a month, due on the second, your choice of upstairs or downstairs," I told him, "We're about a twenty minute walk from the guild hall, fifteen from the market and your best bet on food after sundown is the guild hall. Be forewarned, Natsu's prone to entering without asking and I haven't really installed any measures to prevent that yet. Lucy and I usually settle for throwing him out."

Gajeel thought about it for a moment, "Would I have to sign a contract or anything?"

I shrugged, "Eh, if you skip out on your rent too much, I'll just use a portal to dump the entire contents of your apartment in the woods. As for duration of stay, doesn't bother me much. You can pay for however long you want to stay up front or do it on a month-to-month basis like Lucy. If you find something else and want to move out, I'll give back an amount proportional to the amount of the month left. There shouldn't be any need for contracts between friends, although, if it were me, I'd do like Natsu and find a place to build a house. You'd be a little farther from the guild, but there's no substitute for having your own place."

"So why didn't ya?" Gajeel asked curiously.

"Didn't know enough magic at the time," I replied simply, "All I could do when I bought the place was a bit of card magic and blow stuff up. If you want some help, I'm sure we can help build you a place when we get back from the mission."

"Are ya any good at buildin'?" Gajeel asked curiously.

"My dad's whole family was construction workers, I've learned a heck of a lot from having to help when they decided to do stuff themselves. If I didn't have magic it would be a hell of a task, but seein' as how I do, it shouldn't be a problem. Especially if I've got you and Natsu to help."

"You want Natsu, to help with construction?" Erza asked as she stepped out from behind the curtain in a short lilac colored kimono and black stockings with her hair up.

I took about three seconds to get over how freaking gorgeous she was, rebooted my brain, contemplated how bloody unfair it was that she could blindside me with her beauty like that, and shook my head a little to recover, "Yeah. I need fire to bake bricks. With my magic I can get the other materials, but fire magic is one thing I don't have a way to generate except for my explosive light magic, which isn't at all suited for precision work. Speaking of, where is Natsu?"

It was then that we realized Natsu and Happy had slipped off to who knew where. Gajeel sniffed and then pointed, "That way, over near the armory."

Erza thought about that for a second and then face palmed, "Of course, the forge."

"Forge?" Gajeel asked with perhaps a little too much interest.

"Any metal you eat you have to pay for," Erza glared between her fingers.

Gajeel drew himself up indignantly, "I know that! I was askin' because the higher the quality of the iron or steel I eat the more power I get from it! A fancy place like this is bound to have some top notch steel in their armory! I always stop by armories if I can find 'em because if I can buy even a few pounds of high quality steel then it'll be a perfect emergency power supply for me in the event we get in over our heads! You know how Natsu gets stronger when he eats flames? Steel is to me what a roaring bonfire is to him, so of course I'm interested in a forge!"

Erza looked rather abashed and bowed slightly, "Of course, my apologies. I've grown so used to Natsu's foolishness that I assumed you would act the same way. You may strike me for my foolishness if you wish."

Gajeel shrugged, "Ok." I shot him a surprised glance and then CLANG! In a movement almost too fast to see, Erza was holding her head with her eyes scrunched shut and Gajeel was shaking his hand with a grimace, "What the hell is your head made of woman?! Iron's not that hard! That was like punchin' a friggin' dragon…"

"Your punch is quite impressive as well," Erza replied as she cracked an eye with an odd little grimace twitching across her face, "I've been hit with clubs that I didn't feel that much."

Any further conversation was cut short by the sound of Natsu's deranged cackle echoing through the largely empty warehouse. All three of us went pale and then Gajeel took off shouting, "Don't worry! I'll get him!"

"Try not to get us thrown out!" Erza called after him. There was no reply and she sighed, "Do you think he'll be able to restrain Natsu?"

"He's Natsu's big brother, I think if anybody can it's Gajeel," I replied, "I just hope he can do it without makin' a scene…"

"Yes…" Erza mused, then she glanced at me, "So, how do I look?"

I looked and she hit me with that little smile and I wound up on the ground looking at the ceiling again. I sat up grimacing as Erza blushed and smiled and pretended she hadn't done that on purpose, "Erza Scarlet you could wear anything and look stunning in it, so that is a completely moot question. Any time you ask me how you look, the answer is going to be gorgeous. I might not say it, but I'm thinking it. What you should be asking is how that looks on you, and the answer is that the lilac color highlights your hair nicely without clashing, it appears to fit you well and doesn't show off an indecent amount which would draw you unwanted stares, wolf whistles and hands from those too stupid to know better. It also looks like you'll be able to move around in it very well so I'd say it's a keeper unless it gives you an unpleasant draft in places you don't want to talk about, in which case you can change in an instant, so again, moot point. Long story short…"

Erza looked slightly taken aback as I paused to take a breath, so I prefaced my conclusion with an admittedly quite genuine smile, "You look amazing Erza."

Erza blushed, smiled in a shy sort of way that made my heart do a weird little number and nearly sent me toppling over backwards again, "Well then, I guess I'm getting this one." A flicker of movement at the curtain as Erza turned to head back to it gave away the fact that Lucy and Levy had been listening in on the conversation.

After that it was Levy's turn again, and she did not pass up the opportunity to skip over to me in her little black cocktail dress, get disarmingly close and whisper with a mischievous grin, "So, makin' moves on Erza huh?"

"No," I replied flatly with the most deadpan expression and tone I could muster, "She asked, I answered, thoroughly and honestly. Did it sound like I was making a move?"

Levy pulled back with a look of small surprise on her face which she quickly brushed away, "Well then, in that case…" she did a little twirl, "how does this look on me?"

I observed her carefully for a moment, "I'd pair it with a white jacket, good contrast and keeps your overall color palette balanced nicely. It'll also mitigate any chill that open back might give you. You'd be wearing this for parties and dancing right?"

Levy looked at me, "Well yeah, what else would I wear it for?"

I shrugged, "Beats me, I'm a guy! Modest black heels to wrap up the outfit and a matching headband since I know you like to wear those. Maybe one with a little flower on the side."

"Are you sure you're into girls?" Levy asked teasingly.

"I'm into girls enough that I can use my imagination to run through dozens of possible combinations of color and clothing in a couple of seconds to give girls I happen to like advice on things like clothing because I know they like clothes," I told her flatly, "I'm an artist, matching colors is a skill I kinda need to be good at."

Levy pondered that for a moment and then glanced down and twisted to look over her shoulder, "White jacket huh?"

I gave her a double thumbs up with a grin, "White jacket."

…

…

We continued that way for almost four hours and the girls walked away with several new outfits. Well, Levy and Erza did. Lucy had her new cat suit. They had gotten into it so much that when Erza had revealed that Heart Kreuz did men's clothing as well, I'd wound up being sent to find new clothing for myself as well.

I'd protested lightly that I didn't need any new clothes and then Levy pointed out that I'd gotten to look at them in nice clothes and now they wanted to play dress up a little. I found my nerves getting slightly frayed at the idea and then Erza pointed out that my usual attire wasn't fit for the sort of fancy restaurants that Mira actually quite enjoyed being treated to. I smiled, "Which way to the men's section?"

Cue me being subjected to almost an hour of being pushed, pulled and shoved into a changing room before stepping out to be appraised by three very beautiful lady wizards who might've been enjoying themselves just a little too much.

I managed to get away with two suits, a new set of nice black pants, a red jacket and a very traditional wide brimmed dark blue wizard hat that Levy had gleefully plonked on my head that turned out to be a perfect fit. That was nowhere near the extent of what they'd had me try on, but I'd managed to convince them that three suits was plenty (also it was getting just a wee bit expensive). Then on the way to go find Natsu and Gajeel, I grabbed a pair of white gloves that happened to fit perfectly.

Erza had asked me why and I had turned a wicked grin on her as I raised one hand to make it very visible as I pulled on my second glove. Apparently, I have a terrifying wicked grin because all three of them looked like I'd turned into a demon as I told them, "'Cause it's badass as hell."

"Also!" I added brightly, my demeanor shifting as easily as putting my hat on, "I like wearing gloves, and they go well with all three suits! Now if only I could find a good…" My wandering gaze landed and an excited grin spread across my face, "MASK!"

Fifteen minutes later I'd added a full face mask in the shape of the theatrical symbol of comedy to my list.

"And what's the purpose of that?" Erza asked with her arms crossed and an eyebrow quirked.

I put it on and willed my eyes to glow a bit through the eye sockets, "Makes it easier to be scary!" I let the glow fade and continued, "It also gives me an awesome poker face, so between that, the intimidation factor, and making it hard to see where I'm looking, having a mask like this is perfect for battle against any human opponent because it's a trifecta of psychological warfare. Can you think of anything more unnerving than an opponent who hasn't got a face to read?"

"I've never fought an opponent like that," Erza mused, "Even most masked opponents don't go for a full mask, there's usually at least their mouth and eyes showing."

"Then allow me to demonstrate how terrifying it can be!" I exclaimed delightedly. I snapped my fingers and a ten foot sphere of darkness erupted around us as I stepped closer to Erza, who had gone completely still in anticipation. I paused at what I thought was just outside of her arm's reach and flared light through the eye holes of my mask as I let a burst of light shine up from my hand like a flashlight to provide a scary under light to my face, "Boo."

POW!

Never let anyone tell you that Erza Scarlet does not have a killer right hook.

...

NEXT TIME! on Mad Little Slice of Heaven...

...

"So can ya actually fight or are ya just one o' them squishy wizards who's totally useless if they can't use their magic?

I considered my response for a moment, looked at my hand that I'd so recently gotten back and flexed the fingers, "Well. Now that I've finally got my hand back in working order, how about we find out? It's been a while since I had a fight without magic."

Everyone looked at me and Gajeel asked, "Are you seriously challengin' me to a fight?"

"A friendly spar," I clarified, "you're so much like my friend back home, I'm very interested to see if you have similar fighting styles."

Gajeel grinned and rose to his feet. I grinned and rose as well, "Everyone else might want to back up."