9 – IDOLIC JINX

Once you realise how easy it is to stalk a prey… you also realise how dumb the prey is. Yes, obviously that is how they are hunted down. And with animals, humans… whoever it is, the adult protect the infants – for they are the lesser aware.

"Ooh, the forest is so silent and cold," one of the kids say.

I think… the should be made aware.

I jump out of the bushes and slash at the cheek of one of the kid. The others scream and run away, but this kid just stays and shivers at one place. I stand and stare.

"Are you waiting for your turn?" I ask in a raspy voice. "So much patience, so much panic of the others which isn't in you… yes, you're the kind of kid I need."

I feel like pushing him from his position, but that's be too easy.

"I shall paint your house with your blood."

+

"Kids… these kids are frustrating!" one of the elders says.

"They don't know fear. They and their dumb courage will cost them and our village… losses. This cannot happen."

"They think it is some… story. Some mystery… something. They are reckless"

"That is why…" they say, and finally stop… promoting me to look up. "We need to take measures."

I just stand there, unknown to why I'm there.

"We hear you are a single mother," one of the elders, Kaari, says and I just stare at her with confusion.

"Let's get to the point," another elder, Sazu, interjects. "We have heard, we have all known your interest and skills in plays. But you were married off at a young age, is that correct."

"Yes… but that was in the past, I promise," I finally speak.

"You mistake us," Sazu says. "We want your skills. You are the idol… they have to look up to. And be scared of, like you're some bad omen. Yes. That is your character."

"An Idolic Jinx," Kaari says.

+

"You have done well," Kaari smiles.

"She hurt a kid," Sazu objects. "Why'd she doesn't that?"

"It had to be done for it had to be done," Kaari interjects before I say anything. "She knows well enough what to do, and to send a message to the kids. And I trust in that."

I knew enough…

"Ma, did you hear about the new Jinx?" my kid asks me.

"Of course," I smile.

"Why do you smile?"

"Ah… I took you to be smarter. Don't you know why?"

"Hmm… does it have to do anything with the kids dying?"

"Close."

"For I thought this Jinx might just be what caused that."

Many children who went into the forest… never returned. And when they did, they'd bleed at the roads, or their parents' arms – before we got an answer for what did that. So it'd be not far-fetched if they thought of me as the one causing the deaths.

"But didn't the Jinx always succeed?" I ask. "So… why do you think?"

Jinx is what we named it. The phenomena. Going out in the dark meant to be cursed by the Jinx and dying in a gruesome way. But… just that wasn't enough to entirely stop the kids.

"You many it is another force which is preventing it?"

"I'd like to believe so."

"Well it harmed Dazau."

"Sometimes," I say. "A fall has to be blocked by putting our arms and hurting them instead. For stopping something worse."

"So then…" my kid says, and I look. "This is an Idolic Jinx?"

I just stare with the confusion of how exactly my kid got that. But I smile.

"Perhaps. But… you are the smart one."

This goes on and on. I scare the kids, every night. And I get paid for it. I could let my kid have a happy and proper life – even as a single mother. And the whole plan was working… for the most part.

"One kid went missing," Sazu says. "And what were you doing?" I get asked.

"Can you shut up?" Kaari asks.

"Tch, couldn't even take care of your own kid," Sazu says.

I take a step back.

"Tch, couldn't even take care of your own kid," Sazu repeats.

I take another step back.

"Tch, couldn't even take care of your own kid," Sazu says again.

I look around… and it seems to occur in a loop. Am I dreaming?

I gasp and wake up.

What time is it?

"Mom?" my kid says.

"Here," I smile. Still here.

"So you need to move around to the central streets tonight," Sazu tells me.

"What? That's risky," I say.

"It'll be taken care of. We need a bigger… part to do. If we need to make sure that our worst nightmares don't come true."

At that moment I look at Sazu and see a very eerie smile up his face. He was always… unsettling. But that smile…

"S-smile," a kid says, stumbling.

"I'm not allowed to smile?" I say with my rough voice… the herbs really help me get this exact tone to speak in. And the echoing effect was pretty neat.

"No it… is scary."

"Then I shall take yours," I say and move forward.

The script felt too lame to me. What even was Sazu's plan?

"Attack!" I hear.

Many kids come out and throw rocks and many other things at me… and I'm only left to stand there without being able to move.

"Fools," I say.

I toss a nearby cart on a house and the wooden walls of it breaks apart. The kids scream up their lungs.

"You think this is a joke?"

I create a spark of blame above my hand and gush it out towards the ground near the kids. It was pretty easy to fill my mouth with some oil as they were distracted.

Sazu… I knew you'd have done something!

"Run, the plan has failed!"

"We have distracted her enough!"

Distracted?

As I push towards the kids and they finally vanish, I go right to Sazu's house.

"You bastard!" I scream, making his wife scream in terror.

"What in the world do you think-"

I hold a stake to his neck, and he stops speaking.

"Hey, calm down!" Kaari comes through the door and I prompt her to stop.

"He planned an ambush for me! The kids said something about a distraction. They ambushed me with rocks!"

"What?" both of them ask.

"I have done this enough days to know how much you hate me. I made sure to have a doll in the place you planned for me to be in."

"Drop the stake, it was my idea!" Kaari yells.

"What?" I ask and look towards Kaari.

"The distraction…" Kaari tries to explain. "I caught one of the kids who ran away from you… it was your kid who asked them to."

There are times in our lives when God graces every ounce of his power onto us. Even if it is just to run and scream up your lungs.

As I scream my kids' name, the bats, the birds, everything scatters away from the trees. I scream the name so many times that it becomes an incomprehensible word to me. The fact that there isn't an answer coming back… I doubt it… was my kid a dream?

Where are you? No. I have to find you. WHERE ARE YOU? PLEASE. JUST ANSWER MY CALL! WHY'D YOU DO THIS… MY… My kid.

"You did this," I tell Sazu. "It was your plan wasn't it?"

"I'd nev-"

"YOU FUCKING DID THIS!" I scream, and Sazu stumbles backwards. "And you better find me… no," I say, as my knees hit the floor.

The broad daylight… the sun… the image is clear.

"I'm sorry," Sazu tells me.

"I… asked you to find my kid," I say. "What… is this?"

It had been a week. My poor kid must be so hungry that… insects would be considered as food. It's ok to feel that hungry and just eat them, but… covering your whole face this way?

"You must've been hungry," I say, breathing heavily. "So hungry. Yet smart," I say, patting my kid's head which was sticky… gross, must've not taken a bath… the sticky red… "I'm proud of you for surviving. My smart kid."

I move my hand and grab a roach in my hand… I squeeze it… that's my kid's cheek. It's ok. It's just my kid's cheek. The roach is just there. I move my hand to the eyelids… and maggots… it's ok, they may be foul but… when you're hungry…

"Oh you poor thing," I say.

Beetle eggs. And even these flies… my kid was annoyed by flies. But look… so brave. Even the flies are food to my kid. So brave. So so brave. I'm so proud.

The roaches climb up my shoulder, as if trying to get into my head. But I embrace my kid toy chest, and rock my kid's head… up, and down. Up, and down. Up, and down. Up, and…

"No that's way too down," I plead the elders as they put my kid six feet deep… an eternity deep. Way too far for me. "No, that's unnecessary. It's a cruel punishment for just exploring the forest and eating a few insects. I can pay the price. Leave my kid."

I plead. But they had to punish my kid. My poor kid who was in one piece… but… no, that's cruel of me as a mother. That's just how my kid's face is. And I should love it as is. They aren't maggots and roaches… that's my kid. That's my kid.

That's my kid. That's my kid.

I'm only a mother.

"Shouldn't you be resting, my dear?" Kaari asks with a pity smile.

"Resting? The more I work… my kid's punishment will end. So no. I won't take a day off. I will… work. I will make things better."

"I know you miss your kid."

"I do. And that's why I have to do this."

"You should-" Sazu tries to say.

"-DID I ASK FOR YOUR OPINION?" I yell out. "Not one kid… has gone out… not one," I look at their pity unmoving faces. "I SAID, NOT ONE!"

They barely nod.

"Because of me. And… I'll keep it that way."

"We can't let you," Sazu says, and grabs me.

"Get away!" I scream.

"You need some time away to relax your mind and make peace with the fact that your kid is dead," Sazu says, throwing me inside a room.

As I run towards the door after getting up, the door locks up.

"Let me out! Let me out!" I scream.

But I don't even get a reply back.

As I scream I feel alive… but nothing answers me back. I recall the time I spent in the forest screaming… my kid's name… what was it? It was a pretty name. I named my… kid. My kid. I can't… roaches. Worms.

"K-kayla. Seran. Syz. Dartha. Ryt. No. What was…" I stumble and mumble while moving my mouth in shapes which it could… but nothing sensible comes out. Each name seems about right, but…

"Are you okay?" a voice awakes me from my rot, as a knock resounds through the door. "It's me… Kaari."

I get let out. And I run into the streets. The kids need me.

"Agh!" the kids scream, as I suddenly appear in front of them.

"Where are you going?" I make my voice as raspy as I can.

"Oh it is the madam who lost her kid," one of the kid says.

"Lost? How dare you… no…" I say, grabbing the kid by his collar. "You think you're smart… but I know you're my kid. My son."

I hold the kid, as he tries to push me away. But I hold him tight.

"No," I say, pushing him away. "I had a daughter."

I look at the group… I don't find my daughter.

"Where is my daughter? Where is my kid?" I ask as if begging them

"Madam, your kid is d-"

Before the kid finishes, I slap him across his cheek. "Lies! My kid… you're hiding her! Him! Where is she? I love him. She must be so hungry. I don't want him eating worms again. She is scared of those flies. He would… let herself… come to my arms."

"She is talking crazy," they say and run away.

"My kid," I say, and go to the nearest house. Barging inside houses, I finally find her. "There you are. I was worried sick."

"Let my daughter go!" some lady says, grabbing my daughter.

"No, that's my daughter!"

My daughter starts crying, as she leaves my arms, and the lady hugs her.

"It's okay," I say, holding out my hand. "It's over. I promise. You don't have to cry."

But she holds the wall, while looking at me and crying. She must have been so terrified.

The door is pushed and I see some elders alongside Sazu, from the corner of my eye.

"Tell her she is safe," I tell Sazu. "That's the least you can do."

My hand itches and I scratch it… but this sticky red liquid…

"Oh god, this lady put my daughter in such a dirty house," I say, looking down at the lady at the floor. "So irresponsible."

But as I stare… the red on her head and hair… no.

"Hey, wake up," I tell the lady. "Mommy's here. You don't have to be afraid. I'll take you back home."

They don't understand… they hide my this daughter into the floor again. And I only cry. I beg them. I plead to them. But they hide her once again. And then they circle around me as I am done crying.

"She killed a person!"

I hear many other such bad things… it wasn't quite common of a discussion in our Village. Kill? Who was it? And why are the circling me?

"She is just…" Sazu says. "She faced a loss. We understand that… we will let the… she needs time to move on."

"Move on? She needs to be burned!"

And everyone scream in agreement.

"Silence!" Kaari says… and I feel relaxed by a bit, she'd give me back my daughter. "Taking in consideration all the points… she sure is ill. But she yet murdered a person. So we will let the forest take her."

They drag me out the village, and make me sit at a tree at the entrance of the forest. And I do… but they leave me here… without telling me what to do. And so I sleep.

I wake up as feet hit towards my body, and I whine and shake. Why? I hadn't moved an inch!

They scream. They spit. They hit. And then they drag me to the centre of the village, and tie me to a… something. Something… wooden.

"Why? I did nothing!" I say. "Just give me my kid back!"

I see Sazu in the crowd, and he keeps eyeing towards… Kaari.

"You killed my kid! His corpse was lying right next to you! You were cuddling with his corpse, you monster!" somebody says.

No, I…

My kid knew the term which Kaari named me. Kaari… was the one who wanted me for this. Kaari said… she's the one who wanted me to be right here, that night… where there was an ambush.

How did Kaari appear right when I was about to kill Sazu? How did she… I told her about the ambush. She was shook. Then she said… she got to know it was my kid's plan that night… that she caught one of the kids who ran away.

Kaari.

"Burn her," Kaari says.

But why?

Somebody gets a torch. The sun out bright… but the fire coming towards my face was hotter. But I only share at Kaari. As the torch touches me… I see her smile… ever so slightly.

God gifts upon us every ounce of his strength… at times.

How did Jesus come down from the cross? And what did he do?

As my face burns, I realise that death… isn't simple. I scream and breaking my own bones I break the stake and set myself free.

"You…" I say, as Kaari just watched me with shock.

The broken bits of wood still connected to me… I smash them into her head, while gripping my elbows to her arms.

"Agh!!" Kaari screams.

"You were the one, weren't you?"

My skin melts and falls to mix with hers. I watch as she melts beneath me… while I feel no sensation but only feel hate.

Once I'm done with the rest of the village. I can find my child. Wandering in the night, trying to untangle some mysteries… I'll find my child.