I Chose You

"Who?" I questioned through a whisper. "Who the hell is here, Jordan?"

Shots rang out on the other side of the door.

"There are groups of people around here. They're not friendly. Got into a scuffle with 'em a few times. Tried to take me back to their shelter and I escaped."

"How do you know they're bad?" I inquired curiously.

"I was part of a group in the beginning. We had everything we needed. They came in and took everything — including the lives of my friends."

The gunshots continued to draw nearer. I felt as though my heart was going to thump right out of my chest.

"Is that you in there?" A man called from the other side of the door. "We saw you go inside. You can't hide."

I listened for any other voices. The only one that could be heard was his.

"Come on, babe! You know we need you for our shelter. Not a lot of humans around anymore — especially not pretty ones like you."

The doorknob began to rattle. He attempted to get inside. Jordan stood up as though she was ready to hand herself over to them. The door opened and he crept inside.

Within seconds, the splorch of my knife going across his neck could be heard. He fell to the ground as he bled out.

"Shit! What did I do?" I barked, panic rushing through my body.

"He killed my fucking friends! Let him die!" Jordan demanded in anger.

"Yo, Mario! Where are you?" An unfamiliar voice called from outside.

Mario lay on the ground, reaching out for the ceiling as the life poured out of him. I ran to the door and shut it as I hoped the other men didn't notice. With my back against the door, I watched as the man took his last breath.

I just killed him.

"Get the Hell down! There's more of them!" Christie spoke in a commanding whisper. "Just stay fucking quiet!"

Rrrgghh... rggh...

The man on the ground began to reanimate. He lunged at Joe and caused him to fall over, knocking down a nearby shelf. The sound reiterated through the building. The voices outside immediately stopped and the doorknob turned as the door started to creep open.

_

Blood was everywhere.

My face dripped in sweat. Bodies lay around us. Bodies of men I didn't even know. Bodies that were lifeless because of me.

"Jake, c'mon. Are you okay?" Anna questioned, her brows furrowing in concern. "Are you with us?"

I stared into her green eyes, gulping before nodding my head yes.

"Thank you." Jordan spoke sincerely, "they killed my friends. They were going to kill me because I wouldn't work for them."

"I think it's time you leave this place." Courtney suggested, "it's too dangerous here."

Jordan responded with "everywhere is dangerous now."

We scavenged through their belongings and gathered what we believed we would need. Thanks to Jordan's thrift shop, we now had winter clothing.

"Guess we should get out of here now, huh?" Haze clapped his hands once in anticipation. "Sounds like the best bet."

"I told you I'd make you a meal before you go and I meant that." Jordan interrupted, "I haven't had company to cook for in a long time."

"You alright, duck?" Christie questioned as she sat down next to me.

"No." I answered blatantly. "I killed those people, Christie. I'll never forgive myself."

"It wasn't just you." She attempted to console me. "Listen, I know it's hard. It's what we have to do now if we want to survive, to keep what we've worked so hard for."

I gulped as I sat in silence. She spoke again moments later.

"When I shot those people in the woods, it was an easy decision. It was you guys or them — I chose you. What scared me was how goddamn easy it was to take their lives, to basically say 'you have to die because we have to live.'"

"I never thought I'd be capable of doing that." I huffed, staring down at my blood stained hands.

"You have to be capable of it to live. You did the right thing, kiddo. We get to see another zombie filled day."

Joe ran the radio for the rest of the night. Broadcasts on how to stay safe and re-runs of the aerial assistance announcements flooded the station. I began to wonder if anyone was still alive there.

The men that we killed ran through my mind. Was Christie right? Is it really us or them?

"Hey," Courtney sat next to me, speaking in a hushed voice. "Can't sleep either?"

"Hell no," I responded with a scoff. "We're almost there, Courtney. Within the next couple weeks we'll be in California."

"Gotta wonder if they're still there." She responded skeptically, "you know, times were so much simpler in the beginning. Seems like there's more zombies everyday."

"Back on the farm," I huffed. "We just started out. Still had our innocence from the old world."

"When we still had frozen meat and powdered potatoes," she laughed. "I'm glad Vick brought us together, Jake."

Before I could speak another word, her lips were pressed against mine. When we pulled away moments later, a rare smile appeared on both of our tired faces.

_

Today is the day that we pack up and continue on our journey. I threw more clothes and snacks in the cargo of our mini-van. When I turned around, Jordan was standing behind me.

"I can't in good conscience let you go there without me." She spoke hawkishly, staring into my eyes with a firm gaze. "I'm coming with you. I'll follow."

I squinted at her in confusion. "What made you change your mind?"

"Those guys — they're oblivious to how the outside world really is. I want to make sure you get to Canada safely."

Nobody can do that.

"We don't need a tour guide," I laughed. "You know, you can just say that you've grown to love us and you don't want to be separated."

She stared at me without any amusement.

"I'm fine alone."

Jordan trailed behind our vehicles in her own yellow Jeep. Haze, Nista, Anna and Joe rode together.

"Hello? I'm broadcasting from aerial assistance location A. We're still running. Location B has fallen but the California location is still operating. I repeat — the California location is still operating and alive."

An unfamiliar voice came through the static on our radio and walkie talkies. It was a man who sounded in distress.

"We're close enough to get a signal now." A smile came across Christie's face.

"I'm with a group — we're traveling in three vehicles heading into California now. We will be arriving shortly." I spoke, letting out a sigh of relief. "Please, help us get out of here."

"We'll do our damndest. Avoid route 81 — it's a swamp full of dead. Over."

With that, the man's signal cut out.

I reached over to rest my hand on Courtney's thigh as she sat next to me in the passenger seat. She stared at me admirably, a smile across her worn face.

"You think we're finally going to get out of here?" Courtney asked with hopefulness in her tone.

"As long as there's a plane, we're flying the hell out." Christie added, "I'll fly it my damn self if I have to."

"No matter what, we have to pay attention. Don't let the hope get in the way of your instincts. If anything seems wrong, get out of there as soon as possible." I planned, speaking into the walkie talkie.

Joe responded, "got it."

Haze spoke into his walkie talkie. "That's heard, brother."

As we honed in on the location, Jordan took the lead. She sped in front of us in her little yellow Jeep. Without hesitation, she made the correct turns. She knows these roads well.

Nighttime fell quickly and we had to settle in a temporary place for one last night. We brought out the packages of powdered foods and used to water to bring them to life. Jordan revealed the hidden bottle of wine she saved for a special occasion. Every single one of us accepted a glass.

We laughed, told stories and reminisced both on the times of the apocalypse and the times before. As we shared, Courtney reached over to put her hand over mine and met my gaze with a genuine smile.

For the first time since Rotis died, I knew it would all be okay.