My entire body is heavy. I'm not feeling good. I should've taken the day off instead of working. I was awakened by a knock at my door.
" Come in "
Wyliame entered the room. His hair is pushed back from his face. When he goes to work, he wears his regular hairstyle. Under his eyes, I can see eyebags. His beautiful green eyes are also something I like. Regrettably, he appears to be dead, inside.
" Good morning Dame Cleraine. I have here the letters from the 10th and 4th precinct delivered yesterday. " He handed the envelopes to me.
" Where's Sten?" he asked.
" Why? Miss him?" I replied sarcastically as I read the letters.
" You're so wild last night. I can't believe you did that to Commander Aspen. "
" I didn't mean it, okay? No one knew it would lead to that. "
" Twas unexpected. He didn't even avoided that frying pan even when he saw it flying towards him. "
Ugh shit.
Wait. Why didn't he avoided it in the first place though?
Just thinking about it makes me feel like I'm going to die. My reputation's dead sooner or later.
" How's your eardrums ?" he asked.
" I should ask you that as well " I said.
"Anyway, I'll be going. I have a mountain of paperworks today. See you around, Dame." he said as he walked out of the room.
I placed the letters on my desk. I let out a sigh. I can't believe I was awake for practically the entire night. When Dannet collects us, nothing turns out well. It'll just cause us problems. NO. It'll just cause me problems.
Someone came to the door and knocked.
" Come in"
Sten entered the room. I gave him a sidelong glance. My right brow was slightly elevated.
" Good morning, Dame. I apologize I'm late " He stated this while bending his head 45 degrees.
" News? "
" Nothing. I didn't hear anything. "
" Fine. You can go now. "
Right now, I'm unable to think clearly. I'm tired. I exited the office and proceeded to the pantry. Instead of coffee, I selected hot chocolate to warm and wake me up because I don't enjoy the flavor of coffee until I add milk. My hands are numb from the cold. As I drank my cocoa, I observed the passing citizens on the streets. Even in the dead of winter, the city is teeming with people. Aspen entered the building through the main door, which I observed.
Holy shit
I'd best get into my office and hide before he notices me. I rushed through my hot chocolate. I moved quickly through the corridors. I'm nearly there. I'm nearly there. I snatched the doorknob and slid it open slightly. A hand suddenly came into contact with mine. Dannet was smiling when I looked at him.
" Nuh uh uh. What's the hurry, Raine? " he asked.
Tsk. Of all people, why do I have to bump onto this guy?
" Nothing. Who's in a hurry? " I asked. Thought I might change the topic.
" Oh? No one." He then pulled Aspen closer to him. His arm around Aspen's shoulders. " I think you needed to tell him something so urgent. "
I will kill this man. I will kill this man.
I swallowed my saliva and cleared my throat.
" We can talk about that inside my office. Come in please. "
" After you." Dannet offered.
I was the first to enter. They trailed behind me. Shit! What am I gonna do? Will he accept my apology?
" Please, sit down. "
" Oh, no. Not me. I'll be leaving actually. I still have so many paperworks on my desk. Ciao " he left.
He abandoned me with Aspen. So, what am I going to do now? What should I say to start the conversation? Ugh.
I locked my gaze on Aspen. I can't tell what he'll do if I approach him with that icy expression on his face. I took a seat on the sofa. I gathered my thoughts. Calm down self. You just need to apologize and be done with it.
" Aspen, I ---"
" I'm fine. " he said flatly.
I almost raised my eyebrow.
" I already heard your apology a thousand times back when we were still in your house."
Ugh. This is so embarrasing.
" Sir. Aspen, I know you're not fine and even if you claim you are, I would gladly apologize for what happened." I insisted.
" Apology accepted. " he replied.
He's replying rapidly and appears to be uninterested in the chat. If I were him, I'd do the same thing if I'd been hit with a frying pan. However, this is inconvenient. We're both silent, and I'm at a loss for what to say to entice him away. It's driving me insane.
" Dame Cleraine, I think our conversation ends here. I must go now. " he said.
" Yes, Sir. Aspen. " I walked him to the door.
My sweats began to break in all over my body as soon as I shut the door. That was a nerve-wracking experience. I don't want to be in a scenario like that again. Without a doubt, not with him.
" Here's your order maam." says the lady as she put the teacup on my table.
I enjoy 'Me' time since I don't have to think about anything other than work and what I'll do after work. I attempted to contact them after work, but Lynette left early, Z and Dan went on a blind date, Randal claims he'll have to work overtime, and Sten went on a date with Rollo and Wyl, I've no idea where he is. So, before I head home to my favorite bed, I'm here enjoying a beautiful cup of chamomile tea.
Hhhhmmmmmm. I really love my 'Me' time.
Should I, on second thought, get a pet this time? I'm not interested in having one since I'm too lazy. Perhaps next time. I'm certainly going to have a dog.
I recognized a familiar face as I gazed out the cafe window. Because he was standing in a gloomy section of the alleyway, I couldn't see him clearly. I tried not to stare at it, but the lady from across the room drew my attention. The man vanished by the time I returned my eyes to the dark alleyway. He's probably looking for someone from the adjacent building. I gathered my belongings and wrapped my scarf over my neck. I exited the store and returned home. As I entered the house, I turned on the lights. I removed my boots and placed them on the shoe rack. My floor was littered with tiny particles, which I observed.I'm quite sure I cleaned the home this morning before going to work. To clear the filth on the floor, I walked to the utility room and got a broom. After that, I placed wood in the hearth and started burning it. After eating a single salad and drinking chamomile tea in the café earlier, I decided to retire to my bed. I entered my chamber and proceeded to my desk in the room's left corner. On top of my desk, I scanned the paperwork and books. My pen is missing from my pen drawer, which I discovered.
I see.
My moon lamp's cable was removed, leaving my room completely black. The sole source of light in my room is the light from the living room. I can feel him lurking from my bookshelf. I grabbed my pen and slightly moving. Listening if ever he has another accomplice trying to assasinate me this time.
" I didn't know you'd be this fearless in the dark" he said
" You've already decied to kill me after vanishing into thin air just like that day, huh? " I countered.
" I had to."
" I didn't see your face. Why eliminate me?" I can hear his footsteps. Is he some kind of amateur assassin? He can't even walk without making a sound.
" You heard my voice" he answered.
Of course, you dunderhead. You spoke when you were not allowed to. What the fuck?
" ..and you think that's my fault, hm?"
" No." He swung his blade at me from behind. I swerved to avoid it and punched him in the torso. I stabbed him in the shoulder and snatched his knife from his grip. When I stabbed him with my pen, I heard him groan. I saw him kneeling and attempting to remove the pen from his shoulder. I didn't spend any more time since I'm well aware that he's a male and I'm a woman, so I kicked him in the leg so hard that he won't be able to walk for at least 2-3 days. Finally, I hit him in the temple, causing him to pass out.
" Good evening bitch " I greeted as soon as he opens his eyes.
He sighed. It appears like I smacked him in the head with a fist. Unless he gets his just desserts, I'll be the one in the coffin right now.
He laughed sarcastically.
You laughing now coz I knocked you down? I'm a knight afterall, it's basic self defense.
" Cleraine, you shouldn't have opened your door that time. " he said.
I didn't say anything. I just locked my gaze on him.
" You shouldn't have come to my home that night"
He merely gazed at the ground.
" You know what, I shouldn't have apologized to you by knocking you out using that frying pan. Should I cut your fingers using that knife you brought to kill me? "
" You should kill me right now coz I'll make sure to kill you next time "
" Okay "
I went into the kitchen and got his knife. I cut the cords that had bound him. He gave me a puzzled expression.
He sprang at me and snatched my hands. He is pinning me to the ground. I was adamant about not letting go of the knife. I can feel his power ebbing as a result of the stab to his shoulder. It has blood trickling from it, which I can see.
" I let you go for how many times and yet you still try to kill me? " I asked.
" What are you talking about?"
" All along, I knew it was you, Aspen. You really didn't think I wouldn't recognize your voice, did you? "
" Then why? "
" I don't want to have to deal with you. I just don't care. I just got my freedom and I don't want any trouble coming in my way just because you landed on a wrong house. So, if you could just leave me alone, that would be great. "
Obviously, a lie.
He gave me a direct look in the eyes. He was deafeningly quiet. He sat down in front of me after releasing his grip on my wrists.
" You're funny "
" So what? " I replied flatly.
" Now I know the reason why the higher ups doesn't like you, Grand General Cleraine du Gruffyd. "
" Must I remind you I'm still holding a knife. " Threatening him with a knife.
" Yeah , yeah. I'll be on my way. I'll leave you alone. "
" Don't ever come back and don't talk to me ever again. "
He snatched his coat and turned to face me. He's walking with a limp. He exited my house through the rear door. That bitch trespassed in my home, wrecked the lock on my back door and made a mess on my bed room! No wonder I hate him the very first time I saw him. That crow eyes that he has. I'd definitely kill that bastard.
I didn't get a wink of sleep that night, and I'm currently a walking zombie at our workplace. I'm getting ready to go to the field; my presence on the training ground today is required to greet the new trainees.
" Dame Cleraine, we need to go now." Sten stated.
I got up and walked out of the room. Sten was just behind me. We're descending from the fourth floor to the first floor. I walked by Dannets' office and the archive room on the third level. We spotted Rollo from the patrol when we went down to the second floor. We went by near the pantry as we arrived on the ground floor. Because I was in a rush, I didn't have time to verify if Lynette was there. At the corner, I took a left. Dannet, Randal, and Aspen were among the people I saw. They're going straight for us. I pretended I didn't notice them as I was about to pass by. I kept going till I couldn't see them any longer.
Don't ever come back and don't talk to me ever again.
I mean it and there's no reason for us to talk since we just acquainted.
As usual, the new recruits are energised. Finally, the opening ceremony is completed. Sten is pumping me with with details about the impending meeting as I walk to my carriage.
" Where we headed to, Your Grace? " the coachman asked.
" Crest Knight Headquarters "
I'm having trouble paying attention to what Sten is saying. All I ever heard about rebellion was the same thing. No one knows who began the insurrection after five years. All they know is that their commander is known as 'Grandmaster,' that their plan is unknown, and that their identity is unknown. Many of us knights, as well as the police, looked into their origins and motivations for forming such an organization. We always come to the same conclusion, which is that it has something to do with the royal family and nobility. Before the rebels wreaked devastation on our kingdom, I can't say it was particularly tranquil. It's concerning for the residents' safety because most of them have no idea what's going on behind the royal walls. Especially for a noble like me who belong to one of the wealthy ducal family.
We've arrived at the main office. Many people are looking at me. I understand what their stares meant. I'm not worthy of becoming the Grand General, and I'm more suited to being a royal consort or a household member. Seriously? That thought makes my blood boil. They're justifying that women are weaker than men so they should leave the hardworks to men but what's really happening is that they belittle women. That women are only for household, being a wife, childbearer, mother and a decoration. Insult women who have attained much more succesions than them then pull her down. Looking down on women because they think women are naive, fragile and dumb. Well, I salute my middle finger to you motherfuckers. What's more funnier is that I only got this high position at such a young age because the queen is so fond of me. They had no idea what I'd gone through just to get to this point. Hearing those rumors is much more nerve-wracking.
" Don't mind them " Sten muttered.
" I'm not. I'm cool "
We've arrived in the conference room, where the upper management is debating. They didn't even bother looking at me since they think I'm insignificant and only a decoration to this meeting. Fendrel is seated across from me, two chairs distant. He bobbed his head as he stared at me. I returned his greeting. I took a seat in the middle chair. Sten came up behind me and stood a few inches away. The Grand Cordon and the King's Hand have yet to appear. It's impossible to avoid the fact that we, the lower ranks, must wait for them. Fendrel sat next to me after switching seats.
" How are you, Grand General Gruffyd? "
" I'm fine, Sir. How are you feeling lately with your left arm?"
" I got the best healer in town to heal it. Thanks for asking. " He smiled.
" What about this unknown group of rebels? Any news of who they are or what their agendas? " I asked changing the subject.
" I heard that they're against of paying taxes from the rural towns outside the city borders. They want the nobles to renounce their wealth and give it to the poor freely. They're also not fond of the royal family since they felt that the royal family abandoned the towns in the 14th district up to the 16th district. " he explained.
" We can't blame them for rebelling against the government. The lands from the 14th district up to the 16th district is where the poorest of the poor resides that cannot afford the living in the city. I saw lots of beggars, abandoned children and even dead bodies. Those districts never regained it's status after the war. Most likely that the ruins there brews darker secrets from the black market and secret organizations that opposes the royal family."
" We can't blame the royal family either. They can't even handle the districts inside the city how much more the dead lands outside the city border. "
It's absolutely true what he stated. Many crimes and robberies occurred in the 8th to 13th districts even before the revolt. What occurred that night is still fresh in my mind.
The door opened.
" Greetings Sir. Oliver. Greetings Sir. Hugo "
As they approached, we saluted them. Sir, Grand Cordon Hugo sat at the far end of the table. The king's hand, Oliver, sat in the center. We took a seat after them.
" I assumed you have heard about the rebellion and their uprising over the years and their unknown plans caused great chaos in our kingdom. "
I had a look at everyone. No one dared to intervene or respond in any way. Everyone had the same reaction. Sir. Oliver informed everyone about the royal family's ambitions in this respect. Two or three persons disagreed over how the plans should be carried out. Then there was a counter-argument. Others agreed to the idea, while others merely listen and agree to what everyone else has agreed to.
" I'm pretty sure the council will not risk the nobles to renounce their wealth. That won't do any good especially to the nobles. It will just create a tension between the nobles and common people." Sir. Fendrel reasoned.
" Also, the ducal house of Gruffyd and the Viscount estate of Holst are requesting for more kinghts to patrol and secure their territory district. " says the High Sentinel.
" The nobles in the 7th, 8th and 9th district are also requesting for more knights."
" We can't reject their requests but we need to divide equally the knights so if the other districts will have trouble, the knights will be able to respond together with the police. " Sir. Hugo suggested.
" Aside from the police and knights patrolling every district at night. We found this letter on one of the alleyways in 4th district. " Sir. Oliver put a piece of paper on the table.
Sir. Fendrel flipped open the paper. Words were penned.
Everyone is not safe
It is a warning or a threat.
" Luckily, one of the knight that patrolled that night found this and reported immediately. If one of the civillians found this, imagine the chaos it will bring to the people. " Sir. Oliver stated.
" Sir" I raised my hand.
" How about we check and patrol the ports. We should also tighten our security who goes in and out of the city borders. Let every potential of entrances and exits to the city be heavily guarded so we can lessen strangers nor criminals to enter the city without our knowledge." I suggested.
" I suppose you don't know what you are talking about, Dame Cleraine. " says the Supreme General.
" Our major worry is preventing the rebels from entering the city or being apprehended. Then I propose that we start by tightening security at all of the city's borders. They won't be able to freely enter and exit the city this way." I added.
" And how do you do that?"
" Have a check point in every district. Citizens need to prove their identity or document to pass through. "
" Do you know that would be an extra work for the police and knights? " he asked mockingly.
" I'm well aware. That is preferable than sending more knights to the nobles, who would only have their estates secured, rather than the entire geographical district. Furthermore, nobility can afford to hire more butlers and personal knights than ordinary citizens."
" What you're suggesting is ridiculous, Dame Cleraine. " he snickered.
" Oh my god. This is why we shouldn't have women in the knighthood" he deliberately said.
Tension rising up in the room. I maintained my compsoure and never took my eyes off him. He looks at me and scoffs.
" Aren't you from the common people? " I asked.
" Pardon, Dame? " he asked gibingly.
" Wouldn't it be unjust if we allowed the nobility acquire all those knights solely to guard their own estate? You work as hard as any other noble for a living, yet the nobles in control of your region only provide you with a shard of safety. Hm?"
" What are you ----- "
" I'm implying that if our families are in danger, anyone can utilize their power and influence to defend their loved ones. Who do you think will be protected first, between the two of us? Is it me or you? "
He was dumbfounded.
" Right. It is preferable to divide the knights and police evenly throughout all territories rather than assigning them solely to the nobility. Knights can be requested at any time by the nobles. It will also reduce tensions between the nobles and the common people. We don't know the members of this rebel organization, so it's safer to presume they're mostly from the poorer areas, but we should be wary of those in our immediate vicinity."
" I will take note of that Dame Cleraine and open it up in the council. " Sir. Oliver noted.
" With your respect Sir. Oliver, I think you should think of it more. We can't trust her words that are mere texts from the books. "
He didn't know when to give up, did he?
" No offense, Dame Cleraine, but I think you should sit this one out."
" What's your name again?" I asked.
" You better watch your tongue with me young lady." he warned.
" I think you should be the one to watch your tongue. May I remind you, I am still your Grand General. The king appointed me on my position yet you insult me ceaselessly. Insulting me is also an insult to the king. Would you want to be stripped off from your title right here, right now?"
" You dare to threaten me like that! " he punched the table as he stood up then pointed his finger at me.
" This is a meeting between the King's hand and the high knights of Chestin. Stop displaying your inferiority complex in front of these gentlemen, and sure, I can threaten you. YOU ARE, after all, BELOW ME. "
" You brat! You --" he stood up. He's furious. I can see it on his face. He was about to grab my collar but his assistant behind him stopped him.
" I think you should be the one who will sit this one out." I added.
He attempted to grab me for the second time, but the others intervened and tried to calm him down.
" Enough!" Sir. Oliver exclaimed.
" Sir. Ivan, sit down." Sir. Hugo commanded. He's glaring at him.
He then turned to Sir. Oliver. " I apologize for the ruckus what happened for today's meeting."
" This should not happen again." He rose from his seat and exited the room. There is an uneasy quiet in the room.
" Sir. Ivan, this is an important meeting that you wasted for petty insults on one of the high knights. I think you're treating your position lightly and you think too highly of yourself. If you, a high knight, insults the other gender and believes they are inferior to men, then I think you are the questionable one that's appointed to your position. " Sir. Hugo reprimanded.
" I apologize Sir. This will never happen again." he said apologetic.
" Dismissed."
We all rose to our feet. The others rushed out of the room. Sten, who was standing behind me, was quite and being assertive.
" Not you Dame Cleraine. I need to talk to you."
Sten left the room without saying anything. I waited for the Grand Cordon to speak before proceeding. I won't explain myself since I don't have any explanation to explain. Literally. I'm out of words.
" Today is one of your unluckiest day hm, Dame Cleraine."
" I guess so, Sir. " I replied.
" Rumors and gossips really destroy someone's reputation easily, and being an excellent high knight in the knighthood as a woman doesn't get a good impact to all people. True or not. "
" All those negativity on me as a high knight doesn't matter as long as there are people who believes in me." He looked at me.
" I like your optimism, Cleraine. Don't you get tired of it?"
" I am but I can't let down those who believe and looked up to me. Someone once said 'you can't beat a person who's not giving up'. I didn't even climb this ladder just to stop midway."
He smiled. " Well then Cleraine, keep going until you reached the top of that ladder."
"Yes, Sir." I agreed.
" I won't have to keep you here any longer since someone is anxiously waiting for you outside that door. You are dismissed, Dame Cleraine."
" Thank you , Sir."
I walked out of the room and saw Sten standing. Sten approached me.
" I'm fine Sten."
" You sure. I saw your eyes earlier about to kill that old man."
" I told you, I won't be fazed by the quacks of those who are weaker than me."
" If you say so."
I arrived safely at my destination. When I got home, I did what I always did. Before I went to take a bath, I ate dinner. I'm kneading in the mild water of the bath tub. I'll never forget the first time I murdered someone.
I was rather young at the time, yet fear did not stop me. Gruffyd's ducal estate is located in the tenth district. The knights were all over the place back then, from the 9th to the 13th district. It was post-war, and I can't blame hungry people for resorting to violence. There have been several instances where our estate has been stolen. Fortunately, it was only a robbery and not a murder. When I was eight years old, though, things were different. My younger brother was just five years old at the time. That night, I didn't anticipate someone to break into our chambers. We were soundly resting until the door to my room next door slammed shut. Outside our house, the knights were concerned, and there were sounds. My brother was frightened. That was the first time I had to cope with a life-threatening issue, although I was unaware of it at the time. I heard a servant went to my room and she screamed. My brother becomes terrified as a result of the scream. All I could do was hug him and cover his lips with my hand.
Shhh
I expected the thief to move on to the next room or run, but when he heard my brother cry, he went directly to my brother's. My brother and I huddled beneath the bed. While I was hanging on to my brother, he covered his lips. We discovered the servant's body outside when the robber unlocked the door. Her eyes are open and she is covered in blood. The door is wide open. I put my hands over my brother's eyes to keep him calm. I maintained my composure as I watched the man enter the room. Our breaths are audible to me. As the stranger approaches the bed, my brother clutches me tightly. He looked around the room but couldn't find us. Then we heard a commotion from the corridors.
We're saved!
I reasoned, but I had no idea that it wasn't our night to be saved. He hid behind the closed door. When the knights came, he was nowhere to be found. We weren't spotted by the knights, and we didn't move from where we were hiding since we knew where the man was. When the knight looked behind the door, the man slit the knight's throat, and the others died shortly after. We were terrified of what we were seeing. Even though they were knights, they were murdered in an instant and without making a sound.
We're dead.
There was blood all over the area. We're becoming stiff. We didn't move because we were frightened of making a noise. The man looked around the room intently. We noticed him come to a complete halt in front of us. He's standing on the bed's edge. I can hear him drawing his sword from its sheath. I knew he was going to stab the bed from that point on. Then I heard a scream from the other side of the door. It was my mum who had called. Mother shrieked when she saw blood and victims strewn over the room. The guy came to a halt and snatched her by the neck. My mother screamed and tried to prevent the man from stabbing him. My brother and I quietly emerged from behind the bed. My little brother was hidden behind the drapes. The sight of blood makes me sick, but I have to hurry or he'll hurt my mother. I snatched one of the fallen knights' daggers. My mother is in pain, yet she continues to scream for assistance.
Mom made an attempt to twist the man's arm. The man burst out laughing.
" You wouldn't be struggling so hard right now duchess if you tell me where's your husband. I can make you a quick death after. "
I dashed towards the man and repeatedly stabbed him in the back. I didn't think twice about stabbing when the man didn't move and died of blood loss. His body is in front of me, between my mother and me. I'm covered with blood. My mother's hands are still trembling. My mother looked at me horrifyingly, I gazed at her blankly. She then called my brother. My brother walked out and hugged my mother. Our servants ran towards us shortly after. They were shocked to see my mother covered in blood. The knights rushed in and surrounded the area. Our butler led us to the living room, which was secure, and the servants joined us inside. My father arrived after a few moments. He was both surprised and relieved that we were safe. My father was enraged by what had occurred. The cops arrived and began their investigation. That night, my parents didn't get any sleep. That night, I didn't have any nightmares, and I awoke still hugging my brother. We spent the entire night on the sofa. Everyone was cleaning, and the police were still looking into everything, while the knights stood watch outside our home. My parents agreed to let the police question me after a few days. I told them what had transpired the previous night and that I had stabbed the man. The next day, I noticed a newspaper on the living room table. The knights that responded that night were the ones who murdered the guy, according to the text. The fact that they didn't tell the whole narrative of what transpired that night didn't worry me. I put the newspaper down and went to see my brother.
My brother and I are unable to travel without the assistance of a knight. We don't truly leave the estate until we're of legal age. We are only allowed to leave the estate when the princes have invited us to the Bellton castle or when they have come to ours. Dannet and I spend the most of our time together. Our top housemaid is Dannet's mother. We grew up in the same house. Time flies, and I'm no longer a resident on the ducal estate.
I'm now bathing in a tub. I had a flashback to what had transpired earlier in the meeting.
Oh my god. This is why we shouldn't have women in the knighthood.
That made an impression on me. Words have a sharper edge than blades. On the water, I can see my reflection. He despises me because he lacks what I possess. Even if I try to console myself with statements I know are true, I can't help but cry. After all, I am a person. I am hurt. I'm not built of steel in the least. I have emotions. I just found myself sobbing towards the end of the day and decided to put it all behind me.