Chapter 5 - Confessions are never flashy

"Surprised bro?" Abhinav asked cheerfully.

Helplessly, Arjun nodded. He realized that they had followed him throughout his jog and understood that he could no longer hide the truth. A single lie and it would make everything really complicated.

"Who is she?" Nihita asked.

"My best friend," Arjun replied.

"She didn't look like just a friend," she remarked, shaking her head slightly and raising her eyebrows.

"We are close," Arjun tried to reason. "We are really close friends."

"Not with the way you look at her," Abhinav stated. "No man looks at a best friend like that."

Arjun glared at him, feeling his most well kept secret being unravelled against his will.

"And what is her name?" Chaitra asked.

Arjun sighed, shook his head and said, "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Abhinav was confused. "You don't know the name of your so called best friend? That's ridiculous. You just don't want to tell us anything, right?"

"Just as I said, I don't know her name," Arjun confessed. "Not only her name, I don't know any of her details. She and I never told each who we are or anything identifiable." He looked slightly irksome.

"Now, this is some news," Chaitra murmured.

The three of his cousins dragged him to the lawn and made him sit in between them. "So, boss, tell us everything from the start," Nihita demanded.

He recounted to them everything that had happened between him and Miss. D: how he had first noticed her at the beach and thought her to be a strange girl, how she had given the idea of hiding their identities, how she had inspired him with her thoughts and philosophy, how she had made him take life changing decisions, how she had shown him what real life meant, how she had instilled confidence in him and had been continually encouraging him. How she had totally changed him.

"If I am stable, happy, successful and content today, then it is because of her. She never asked me for anything in return, except to never pry into each other's personal details including our names. So, I wanted to do that for her. I don't want to disturb her space by trying to know who she is. So I didn't," he concluded.

"Maybe she has a backstory or is in a witness protection program or has criminal history," Chaitra wondered.

"No way!" Arjun barked at her. "She's just different. You would know if you speak to her. She is just romantic and an ideologist."

"I can't believe this," Abhinav exclaimed. "You both are so natural together and still don't know who is who? I mean what kind of relationship is that?"

Arjun smiled benevolently to himself and said, "It's a strange relationship. Really unique."

"I don't understand this," Nihita started. "Look, you like her. It is so evident from your words. Then why are you still being a stranger to her?"

"We are not strangers Nihi," Arjun said. "Just because we didn't tell each other who we are, it doesn't make us strangers. Can you be honest and say that you know the true person behind every name and acquaintance you have in your life? Sometimes you just know who a person is for real even if you don't know any of their personal details."

"Really? How, may I ask?" Chaitra asked seriously.

"Look, I know it kind of sounds weird, I mean my relationship with her - identities unknown, no details known. But I like it that way," Arjun was certain. He sighed and continued with his whole heart in his words, "When I am with her, I don't have to be this sophisticated businessman I am now. I don't have to behave like how others want me to. I get a chance to be what I am. I get to be the real person I am, get to live like how I want. I can just be Mr. J, a good guy who likes to jog and pour out his heart to the sea. I solve all my problems when I am there. No matter how bad the situation is, I get a solution to my troubles. I am happy, satisfied and content when I am with her. She makes me realize who I am, she makes me know what I want. She cares about me like no one does and knows things about me which no one does. She showed me to myself in a completely new light, gave me the inspiration to be successful." He became serious at the end. "She makes me feel like no one does. I don't care if it is just one hour or what so ever time I spend with her. I just want to be with her always. I want to hear her talk, I want to sit with her and enjoy discussions about life, nature or anything that she speaks about. I know what she is for real and she knows me, what I am for true. And I would love to stay this way forever. And if it takes that I should be silent, then I will be. I won't ask her her name or anything else or tell her about me until she wants me to. I will respect her space and wish."

By the time he had completed, all three of his cousins were staring at him with open mouths, wide-eyed, surprised by his sudden but truthful outburst.

"Oh my God!!! You are in love with her," Nihita said at last, breaking the silence that had ensued.

Arjun looked at her in confusion and said, "No! I just like her."

"No, you idiot, you seriously love her," Abhinav spoke up. "It is so evident in what you said till now."

"Come on Arjun, you can't ignore something that is so obvious. Accept your feelings for her. You can't keep them hidden in yourself like this," Chaitra reasoned with him.

Arjun remained silent for a while, analysing everything. Of course he knew it that he loved Miss. D, more than anyone else. He had known it all along and remembered every moment where he had felt his feelings for her burst out like a bright sun in his mind. He knew that he was madly in love with her. But he had never wanted to accept it. And he knew the reason behind his silence too.

"Dude, you should accept it," Abhinav tried to make him own up.

Arjun closed his eyes for a moment, opened them and said solemnly, "Okay. Yeah, you are right. I do love her. I love her really."

"Woo-hoo," the three of his cousins chorused in excitement and went for high-fives.

"So brother, this calls for a party!!!" Chaitra exclaimed.

"Wait, what's there to party for?" Arjun asked, startled.

"Why, our brother has finally done something good in all these years. He is in love with a really cool girl," Nihita said. "God, I so terribly hated your ex girl friend," Chaitra put in.

"This is not about having a girl friend, Chaitra," Arjun sounded frustrated.

"Then? What is your problem?" Abhinav asked.

"Look, this should be a secret. I can't tell this to her. So, it's not going to be anything like a party at all," Arjun said.

"What do you mean? You won't tell her that you love her like crazy? Are you not going to ask her out or propose? You said you want to be with her" Abhinav asked curiously.

"No. I am not going to ask her out. Because she is not going to accept any of this. Never. She is gonna say 'No' straight away. I can't risk that," Arjun replied vehemently.

"You will have to ask her first, brother. You sounded like you cannot live without her. And from what you told us about her, I am sure that she likes you. She loves you too. She is not going to turn you down," his cousins began together. "Look at the way she spends time with you, how she treats you."

"Yeah, she treats me like a good friend, alright?"

"Oh yeah, a special friend. We have seen her, the way she was behaving around you and we surely know how she must be feeling about you."

"Still, what if she doesn't like me asking her out? What if she goes away? What if things become awkward between us? One of us will have to stop seeing the other an it would ruin everything. I can't bear that. I will better stay like this forever." Arjun was decisive.

As Abhinav and Chaitra began complaining again, Nihita raised her hand to stop them and spoke to Arjun, "See brother, 'forever' is a very misleading term. Will you stay like this forever? It's not possible at all. In a few months, your dad will certainly bring up the topic of your marriage. I bet he is already looking out for potential life partners for you. The same will happen to that girl. What if someone else asks her out? Can you imagine a morning where another man accompanies her the beach? Worse, what if she marries and goes off somewhere else? Above all else, can you imagine yourself in a relationship or married to someone else your whole life, someone other than Miss. D? After a few years, even if you both sit there in front of the sea, things will never be the same. You both will be leading two different lives and worlds and you may or may not be in each other's worlds. Will you like that? Are you okay with these things?"

It was a straight question. But a complicated one. Arjun understood the depth of what Nihita was pointing out.

A future where neither Arjun nor Miss. D could be with each other, a different man holding her hand, some random woman standing next to him, none of it made sense to him. He knew he couldn't bear any of that happening.

"So its worth trying right? Asking her out?" Abhinav asked.

"Come on brother, no girl is gonna refuse you. Alright? And from I understood about Miss. D, she is definitely not going to turn you down. Just tell her the truth. That's the best choice." Chaitra prodded.

Arjun took the whole day to decide the correct path for him. Nihita had correctly pointed out the drawbacks of not revealing his true feelings towards Miss. D to her. There was no guarantee at all that he and Miss. D would spend every day of their lives, every morning sitting together at the beach. It was practically impossible.

Honestly, he wanted more from her. He wanted to be able to be with her all the time. He needed her to be with him always. So, it was better to ask her if she would spend her whole life with him. If she said 'No', then he would convince her to stay as the unknown friends as they had been doing all along and forget his proposal. Finally, he made up his mind to propose to her.

The next morning, he got up, dressed up in a white T and a white jacket and set out on his jog. It was drizzling slightly.

"Good morning Mr. J," Miss. D greeted him as he dropped onto the wall next to her. She had her diary closed owing to the slight drizzle and was sitting idly staring at the sea. She had looked up only when he appeared and observed him as he settled onto the wall.

"Good morning," he wished her and gave an unusual smile.

"So, what's up?" she asked, turning back her gaze to the sea.

"Well, tough time at home again," Mr. J said, feeling unsure and nervous.

"What happened?" Miss. D asked with concern. Mr. J smiled at how much she cared for him.

"Well, everyone of my family, especially my dad, wants me to settle down," he said.

Diagonally, he saw her hand shiver briefly, out of nervousness.

He continued, "My cousins were asking me if I am even remotely thinking of finding "the one". And I am pretty sure my parents are already on a hunt. They would want me to get married some time not so far away."

"So?" she asked, voice faltering.

He looked at her nervously and said, "I don't want to spend my life with someone whom I don't know or someone who doesn't know me. I want to be with a person who knows me better than others, who cares about me, who is with me in every obstacle laden, shaded phase of my life. And someone whom I love."

Miss. D looked at him in disbelief and he could almost hear her rugged breath.

He took her hand slowly into his and said, "I love this one hour I spend with you every morning, I love the relationship we have and I so badly want to spend my entire life living with you. I so want to be with you every moment. I have never met anyone who is so amazing, or shows my own self to me in a new light everyday or speaks to me like you do, shows me what life is like you do. I want to spend my whole life with someone like you Miss. D." After a pause, he looked straight into her eyes and said, "I love you."

Miss. D just stared at him in shock and surprise, unable to say anything, her hands quivering, lips trembling, her face shining wet with the drizzling rain drops.