Chapter 3/Part 5

Lines of love Chapter 3  / pt 5

Victoria/

I was always cautious of Cait, always making sure she showed effort. Everyone has trust issues I'm sure but Cait was a wildfire when I met her. Even now that fire refuses to be quiet no matter how much I try. Since dating, we found ourselves at odds on and off arguing over silly things. I often feel like a part of her wants this and yet that wildfire is cutting it off entirely. So we went on vacation which helped turn everything around, it was better but everything has a time. It didn't take long since we came back that tragedy fell on us again, Astra was taken from her. The way she worded it pierced me deeply, I was wounded selfish as it sounds.

She once more began embracing her old wildfire self again, I was losing her slowly. Talking turned to battles of who was right and wrong, who was to blame, she was self-destructive. The drinking returned and the happiness faded from her, the person I loved was being eaten alive by this wildfire. So when I finally attempted to pull her away to another vacation, Astra Was awake finally. But Cait was still torn inside, she wanted to be there and yet she was afraid. I decided to take her somewhere special that I thought might help her, plus I called in a favor to a friend. I don't know if this will work but it's all I have left so I pray she's willing to save herself.

A small island ran by my mother and father with a clinic, my best friend has lived here for six years. She's the favor I called in to help Cait find herself and save herself perhaps if I was a different person I would have stayed. But she needs to decide her life I won't waste any more of my life being a crutch for her. After we arrive I got her introduced and settled in for the first two days, but on the third, I took my leave. It's not goodbye unless she decides it to be.

The flight back to the states was uneventful but I have a life to return to perhaps I did the right thing this time. Work falls back into a normal routine as does my home life, memories of Cait longer here. But this is part of life and I can't help her any longer, she has to find herself. I call to check on her progress every week or so just to understand a little more. Bree scolded me often for leaving her alone on a strange island without a word as I walked away. She knows methods well enough not to judge me, but I assure her it had to be done. I remember when I once left Bree in a similar situation as Cait, I didn't see it as wrong then either. Perhaps there's only so much a person can carry in a relationship before the weight starts to crush them.

Bree didn't forgive me but she thanked me for saving her from that fire inside. Perhaps I'm attracted to wildfires hoping one will devour me one day. I suppose Cait may have a similar reaction as Bree did but I won't hate her for it. One day Bree tells me that Cait has begun changing and becoming just a little more alive, I guess it was bound to happen Cait isn't weak after all. She's just easily consumed by her thoughts, emotions, and desires. I decide to wait a little longer before revisiting her, I want her to fully recover herself. I'd hate to disrupt her time learning what she needs to recover.

After two months it was time to seek her out and face the choice lingering over my head for so long. Perhaps she will hate me but either way, I hope she's extinguished that wildfire inside her.  The flight was slower than I last recall but perhaps that's just my mind playing its tricks on me. Arriving on the island it has yet to change even after so long this place remains perfect. I decided that I need to prepare for what's to come so I went for a small drink. Something I'm often against but I needed courage today to accept the possibility of goodbye from Cait. However, I didn't get much in before news spread here of my arrival. Cait was more beautiful than I remember, but I drink it up like it's the last time. I wonder how many people have I lost to this island, committing them to memory.

"Victoria I'm glad you came back, it's been a while. I have a lot to tell you..."

She was happy and that wildfire was gone, no longer did her eyes hold a fire behind them. So we sat in silence till she was ready to talk.

" It hurt when you left me back then, but I guess I was only accustomed to leaving people. I wanted to leave and come find you but Bree talked with me and I decided to stay. I didn't think it would work or help but it did... I know that you broke up with me that day to give me freedom of my own choices, I know I was a burden to you but... It opened my eyes a little more to the world around me. I missed you and thought about you as I spent time here recovering... Thank you, Victoria."

" I don't often hear a thank you when I leave people here to sort out their messes I can't carry them through... But I just wanted to help you and I couldn't fix what was wrong for you."

" Always considerate and I loved that about you the most you know... I'm sorry though about-"

" Bree is hard to resist isn't she, perfectly beautiful for sure."

" You know?... It happened once, well twice but.."

"It's okay. besides, I gave you freedom for a reason Cait. You owe me nothing, I'm just glad you found yourself properly."

"Can we start again, Victoria?... I'll do much better now and I want you by my side."

It's been so long since I kissed her lips but it felt like a weight was lifted from me. Most find happiness without me and that's the end goal, I was expecting it from her as well yet. She stayed what more could I want from her than that and her love.