I just hate myself

Sometimes I wanna cry, other times I wanna die.

Falling apart, constantly fixing a broken heart.

Thought I found myself, but instead I pushed my problems to the back of the shelf.

I got attached to someone, but the left now it's me and my gun.

Laying in my bed, can't seem to get these thoughts out of my head.

I pretend, everyday I wish life would just end..

I pretend I'm so happy, even when I feel so crappy.

I let people walk all over me, because I have no respect for myself, you see?

Thoughts fill my mind like "I wish I looked like her" and "I'm not good enough".

People say I'm blinded by the pain, it's all just the same.

I'm oblivious to anything but how I look, I'm an open books.

People read my pages of hurt and pain, then they leave me open for the next person as they walk away thinking I'm insane.

My heart breaks, as I keep on letting the risks I take define me.

Nobody ever sees the real me, you might wonder why.

I never let the real me show, because lord knows they'd leave me once the knew.

They'd see the sad version of a girl who wants to die, they'd probably ask me why.

Why do I not feel good enough?

Do I need more love

No, I just need to be alone, don't need anybody calling up my phone.

Dont need nobody claiming they'll be there for me, no that's not what I fucking need.

I just want to be sad, is that so bad?

They don't realize, I just hate myself sometimes.