Why I'm giving up—I

Five years ago. Timesann, Octens.

Timesann is a mildly populated conurbation in Octens. Think Green is located there and so is Luke's house. She stopped by the indie cafe she discovered a while back and recognized that the red-headed roommate of her cousin was hanging out with some blond-haired dude with Irish eyes, they looked so happy as they chatted away merrily unaware of her presence.

She sighed. She couldn't help but be envious of their love for each other.

"That's what a real relationship is supposed to look like."

She muttered to herself quietly while awaiting her order. What would a short road trip to all the bakeries in the district be without fancy coffee?

The tall teenage girl passed her einspänner with extra, extra whipped cream just the way she likes it.

"Thank you...um, where's your Dad?"

Kika wasn't used to meeting one of the quadruplets by the counter. Mr. Delainey had four beautiful girls before his wife passed away. Three had auburn blonde hair like their mother and the one she was talking to had ebony black hair like her father.

"Today's Poppy's open day so he has to be present at her school."

Freya scratched the back of her head, she knew all too well where this conversation was headed.

"But aren't you all at the same school?"

"Um, yeah. It's er... Juno and Blakely's open day too."

Kika nodded to that with an 'uhuh' and a raised eyebrow while taking a swig of her extra large caffeinated beverage.

Fun fact: Caffeine doesn't work on cyborgs. They have certain robotic medications and stimulants if they wanted to inhibit their sleeping habits.

"So, why aren't you at school with them?"

Freya looked around. They weren't any customers behind Kika to save her from this intensive inquiry session.

"I was in a fight and was told to go home for the day."

"What? For just arguing?"

"Er...no, um it got physical."

Kika reached out to Freya's face by reflex and checked for any scratches or bruises. She found none.

"But you're not hurt."

"I was the one who hit her. The disciplinary committee was busy with the open day so they said I should go home and they'll need my Dad to be back tomorrow with me for a meeting."

Kika watched Freya's shoulders droop, she avoided her eyes too. Kika was a bit glad that she was starting to feel remorseful for her actions. Violence isn't always the answer.

"I'm just glad you're not hurt. You'll be turning into an adult soon, so try to be more responsible, okay?"

Kika patted her shoulder and swirled around in the door's direction.

"Wait um you forgot your change!"

"It's a tip, I officially love the coffee you make better than your dad's, but don't tell him I said that."

Kika winked and Freya nodded with a smile. It'll be their little secret.

***

After three stops she was able to get a cake on pre-order against the date of Bloom's second birthday. She also checked out the food of the restaurant where she planned to hire catering services for the venue.

It was recommended to her by Melody. She said her benefactor had brought her there before and she had taken the opportunity to try out their whole menu any other day she happened to drop by. Kika smiled, she still remembered Bloom loved pork even though they barely met up due to her hectic schedule.

"That place is known for their pork-related dishes, especially pork chops. It's not too greasy and the meat is really tender. I think you should try them out."

She pushed the door open and inhaled the savoury air before walking to the counter.

***

"Luke. Are you home?"

Kika hung her coat on the rack and scanned around with her vision sensors set on high. He didn't come back last night and she was really glum when she got up this morning. She slept early from meeting a narrow deadline at the publishing company. Today was a Saturday, she wanted them both to plan for Bloom's birthday party before she returned from the Hex academia in a few days.

"Rhea!"

The housekeeper materialized to Kika's left and bowed. She still very much respected her despite Luke's title being suspended.

"Is my husband home?"

"Yes, he's at the bar, my Lady."

Kika handed the items she bought for dinner to Rhea. Melody wasn't kidding about how great their food was, she was so impressed she had to buy more to go. She wished for Luke to try some too.

"Thank you, Rhea."

Kika glimmered and almost skipped to the bar to see him. He was sipping out of the bottle again. His usual cinnamon-infused liquor grain spirit.

"Luke, you know what next week Wednesday is, right?"

Luke glanced up at her from burying his head on one arm behind the bottle. He looked at her vacantly and returned his head still staring at his phone. She ceased in her tracks about three feet away from him, barely noticing her clenched jaw. He still didn't care that little things like this are important to a growing child. She'd want to feel the love from both her mom and dad.

"It's Bloom's birthday, how could you forget?"

He shrugged. She took the bottle away from him and placed some iced water in its stead. He glanced at her as she poured it out into a glass and handed it to him. He moved his gaze back to his phone.

"Whatever. I'll be there to cut her cake, okay? But don't expect anything more than that."

The edges of Kika's lips upturned in a slight smile that was until she caught a glimpse of the picture on Luke's screen that had kept him preoccupied this whole time.

Melody's picture. The one she used for her recent 'Bloodied flower' tour to promote the release of her new album 'No heart, just stones inside'. Her blonde hair which usually stopped at her waistline was braided in two long braids tied up with red ribbons that had white skull prints all over.

The theme was bones, black glitter, white rose petals with a few drops of blood on them, and a silky gothic style. No leather and metal like her previous aesthetic.

Kika didn't know that she was staring at Luke's phone and tears already started to well up in her eyes. Luke swiped his fingers over the screen to exit from the gallery and thus, Kika snapped back to reality.

"Why...Why can't I get through the barrier of your past love no matter how hard I try?"

Luke grimaced and stood up from the stool. He didn't have time for another one of her tantrums. She quickened her steps and wrapped her arms around him in a back hug.

"I don't care what happened in the past. It really doesn't matter to me whether you're still in love with Melody or not. And even if you are and can't forget about her...I don't care... because I love you, regardless..."

Luke stiffened when he heard silent sobs concealed in those words.

"...And that's never going to change."

Luke arched an eyebrow after hearing that. Really now? So is she trying to tell him that she's unfazed by all his sudden disappearances on important occasions? He missed Bloom and Kika's birthday last year but he showed up at the anniversary at one in the morning. She was already fast asleep on the table at the surprise dinner she readied for him herself. She even gave Rhea the day off so that they'll be completely alone.

"Really? Well, I spent the night with someone else yesterday, a Blondie."

Luke started to have a thing for girls with blonde hair and blue eyes shortly after Crider was recovered.

Kika slowly unravelled from him, she stared blankly at him while biting down on her lips repeatedly.

"What?"

He grinned and flipped around to face her. Taking their nearness into consideration, he fondled her short virility brown bangs.

"Yeah, but from your little speech, I can see that you're still head over heels for me even after three years. So..."

His stare dropped to her calamine pink lips, they looked especially syrupy tonight.

"...If you're okay with it...we could go out and since I'm in a good mood..."

He leaned in still their noses were almost touching and they could feel each other's breath on their cheeks. Although his breath had a faint whiff of alcohol from the liquor, she didn't really care.

"I'll compromise and spend the night with both of you."

SLAP!

"H-How..."

The hot tears pumped out without restraint and Kika's throat closed up much faster than she predicted, swallowing up her thin voice.

Luke rubbed his lower lip with his thumb and peeped at it, luckily it wasn't bleeding.

"How what? How could I say something like that? Hahaha, that's just the way I am, what were you expecting."

He didn't want to remember that it was also for the same reason that Melody had willingly left him when he brought up the idea of them breaking up.

"You didn't really think I'd say I'll be loyal to only you from now on, right?"

He glanced at her, she was still going pale from his first reply to the expression of her feelings.

"If you change your mind, I'll be upstairs in my room."

He went around her and grabbed the half-filled bottle of liquor and strode into the kitchen via the back door.