Chapter 33: Feelings

I blinked, and the flashback stopped. I looked at Vice. "Why did you save me?" I asked.

She smiled. "I just can't leave you alone." she answered and turned her back to me. She went to the table and took a cup. "You're dying. I just can't leave alone a friend to die – " she said and took the kettle and poured hot water to the cup.

"Even if that friend did something horrible to you?" I asked.

"You're under a curse. It's not you – " Vice said.

"It is me." I said. She stopped. "It is still me." I said. She didn't answer. I sighed. "I'm sorry, Vice." I said. She didn't react. I went to her and hugged her from behind. "I'm really sorry if I made you suffer. I didn't mean to… I was blinded by my rage… I just can't believe you'd leave me after I treated you as a friend…" I explained. "But then again, I scared you… I hurt your feelings…" my tears fell. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry, Vice – " my eyes went wide when she turned and cupped my face and kissed me. I closed my eyes and responded to her kiss.

"Yelena…" Vice called as she stared at my face, her face close to mine. "I love you." She told me and kissed me again.

My eyes went wide with shock. Eh? EH?!?! What did she just say?! I looked at her. She's closing her eyes while kissing me. If we're taping, the director would've marked her A for acting. I thought. I closed my eyes and pushed her. "W… wait! Hold it!" I said, pushing her.

"Yelena?" Vice called. She opened her eyes and her eyes were filled with confusion.

I panted. "You… I think you're… you've misunderstood what you feel for me." I said, catching my breath.

She frowned. "Hey, look here – "

"You look here!" I said and looked at her. "You… you don't understand what love is!" I said. "Love… it's a feeling – " I stopped. Wait. What does love mean? Even I don't know - ! I thought and looked at her. But I have to tell her something, or she'd think she's really in love with me. I would lead her astray! I sighed. "Love … you feel it in opposite sex." I started. "I'm a woman." I told her.

"Huh? Is it… really?" she asked, her brows knitted into a frown as she pondered.

I closed my eyes. I knew it. She's too innocent in these matters. I thought. I sighed and nodded. "Yes. A man is for a woman." I said. "Love is also a feeling towards the other person where you feel like you can't live without them. Love… is a feeling of extreme loneliness that lifts a huge hole in your heart when that person leaves you. Also, love… is a feeling of extreme joy and happiness just by a mere action the person you love." I explained and smiled. "Do you get it?" I asked and looked at her. "So there's no way that's what you feel for me – "

"You…" she said, her face serious. "How would you tell what I feel?" she asked, frowning. "You don't even know me – " I told her.

"The same as you don't know me." I said. She was taken aback. "You should also know the person so much before you can say you love them – " I told her.

She clicked his tongue and looked away as tears fell from her eyes. I closed my eyes. I know. I hurt her again. I am such a scum. I bitterly smiled.

"Then… what are these feelings that I feel for you if this isn't love?" she asked, crying.

I smiled sadly. Yes… she doesn't love me. I thought. Somehow that made my chest hurt. Because what she feels for me is – I closed my eyes and smiled. "It's just infatuation." I answered.

He looked at me abruptly. "'Infatuation'?" he asked.

I took a deep breath when my chest hurt. "Yes." I said. "Infatuation. That's what you feel towards a person you like, like your best friend, or an idol…" I explained.

"An idol?" she asked.

"It's a person you idolize, that's why you call them an idol." I said.

"Then… what I feel for you… it's because you're my idol?" she asked.

"Hmm… yes." I nodded. This is right… right? I feel unsure.

"I'll accept that for now…" she muttered as she looked at me.

"Hmm? What was that?" I asked.

She shook her head and let go of me. She smiled. "Yes. You're my idol, Yelena." She said and smiled that reached his eyes.

I know better. I thought. My heart hurt. It's a painful smile… who wouldn't hurt if somebody told them it isn't love that they felt? I thought. I smiled at her. "Yeah." Yes. It could crush them, as they crush their illusions of love. I thought.

Because love is just an illusion from the very beginning.

Phoebe's POV

A long, long time ago… there was a sage called Yulo. She was born from a mediocre family. But her talent in magic was acknowledged by everybody, as well as envied. And so people began to shut her out. Kids her age scorned her. Her parents, being poor as they are, feared what the people around them might say about them, and so they also shut her out, their only child.

Fear, sadness and longing filled her heart as she grew up. And that happened. They were attacked by the evil king. Being the only one with magic, she survived. Her parents and the people begged for her to save them, but she only asked, "Why?", and they died. She realized what she just did in the aftermath.

She cried, and unconsciously, created a place where her heart could be at peace. She may have created a place in order to satisfy her guilt. And she created a kingdom that people could live their life, free of sadness, free of loneliness. She might just be paying back the guilt she felt when she abandoned her people by saving other people. And she reigned in the kingdom. People adored her, loved her.

But, that time happened again. The evil king attacked. In her remaining powers, her one last wish was. "I hope my kingdom can be united again…" was her last words before she disappeared.

I sighed as I saw everything stopped in motion. "Why should it be now…?" I muttered to myself and looked at my phone. I frowned. "Just when I'm reaching 100k likes – " I blew an irritated sigh. "So? Where could she have gone?" I asked and put my phone in my pocket. I looked around.

The studio where Yelena will be having a photoshoot was already set.

"We're just missing the model, though." I muttered. "Is it really time?" I asked and sighed. I stood up and raised my hand. "Why should I bear her memory - ?" I muttered before entering the portal that appeared. I sighed. "I hope I can get back here soon – " I said and finally entered.