14. Chapter Fourteen

Kairos

Chapter Fourteen

Candlelight glittered off the jewels in the ladies' hair as they spun through the steps of the country dance. Violet gloried in the ease and freedom that she always felt when dancing. With glee she spun through the familiar steps and turned to find the Viscount regarding her with that same intense look that always took her breath away. As they completed a turn she felt his hand linger longer that it should have about her waist. They completed the final sequence as the music ended and they curtsied and bowed.

Violet nodded as he offered to fetch them some lemonade and decided to do a circuit of the ballroom. It was a beautiful space, like so many in London, although she could not quite recall whose it was. After craving fresh air she moved towards the open windows and caught a glimpse of herself, rosy and pretty in her cream gown with golden embroidery. She turned to watch the next dance when she heard two voices, loud and unpleasant amidst a lull in the music.

"In full view of every person in the garden I heard," commented a low, slightly nasally voice. "Had absolutely no shame."

"How perfectly shocking," answered a high, reedy voice, "And you say they were seen?"

"Had to become engaged to cover up the shame."

"I just feel so sorry for him, fancy having to face a forced engagement and a loveless marriage."

"From what I heard, she was asking for it."

Violet coloured at the conversation, horrified to have overheard it, when she suddenly saw that the Duke of Andover and Felicity Kendall were staring at her. Her flush immediately deepened and she walked away, but as fast a she walked, the conversation seemed to follow her.

"I can not believe that his brother walked in on them in such a compromising position …"

"I heard that the Viscount had to propose immediately to cover up his shame …"

Violet stopped, turning in horror as she realised that they were not speaking of the unfortunate Miss Braydon and Lord Featherington, but about … herself and the Viscount. All of a sudden, she looked around and saw that all eyes were upon her – some smirking, some glaring, some pitying. She felt tears rising to her eyes as she moved towards the exit, only to see Edmund staring at her, his eyes pained and staring at her dress …

Violet looked down and screamed. Her beautiful ivory gown had hideous red stains all down the front, seeping through the expensive golden embroidery and lace …

"What else do you expect from such a wanton?" she heard Felicity Kendall exclaim loudly.

Violet wrenched herself awake with a squeal. With desperate eyes she stared about the room, her heart racing and her skin slick with sweat. As the nightmare faded, she fell back against her pillows and swallowed a sob.

It had been a dream … only a dream …

Five minutes eventually saw the lowering of her pulse and the calming of her nerves. With an effort, Violet made herself thrust the dream aside, though its affect lingered in her scrambled thoughts.

It was as though every fear she had been hiding had emerged and combined to form one terrifying vision. Unable to remain abed, she started pacing, the images and words replaying in her head as she walked frantically around her room.

What else do you expect from such a wanton?

What else do you expect from such a wanton?

What else do you expect from such a wanton?

Violet was so distracted that she remained oblivious to the sounds of the household awakening and she in the middle of a circuit when her maid Sarah entered.

"Oh, good morning Miss," she greeted cheerily, "Been up long?"

"A while," Violet replied, depositing herself in a chair to hide her restlessness.

"Too excited for the wedding?" her maid chirped.

"Something like that," Violet agreed.

It wasn't until Sarah had departed to get her morning cup of tea that Violet forced herself to be still, she simply had to go through the motions and put aside these thoughts, they were silly and had been disproven by both her mother and the Viscount!

0 0 0

However, as much as Violet would try to forget her dreams, the thoughts still lingered. They seemed to follow her through every appointment, interview and event that she and the Viscount attended. She kept up as good a façade as she could, but cracks started to show and those who knew her best started to worry.

Six solid days of wedding preparation later, Violet was utterly assured of her fiancée's goodness. With long days were filled with her trousseaux, cake flavours, wedding favours and floral arrangements. She had come to greatly sympathise with the Viscount. If the wedding was also not enough, she also faced daily missives from the Dowager, discussing various aspects of life at Aubrey Hall. She was having daily "viscountessing lessons" as Frederick called them (much to her annoyance and his amusement). Not that she did not enjoy corresponding with Lady Bridgerton, but the frequent references to staffing, meals, expenses and "her future household" was entirely exhausting to her.

In the end, she could keep up the pretence no longer and simply … fled.

She found a moment to escape one afternoon and slipped out of the house through a small side door. She knew that she would be in ten types of trouble when she returned, but found that she did not care as she walked swiftly along the pavement, the hood of her cloak drawn tightly around her face. She had one goal in mind and one alone – an hour to herself!

Uncertain of her success, she had turned quickly into their nearest park and made sure to find a quiet corner behind a tree before she seated herself upon her cloak and finally found a moment of privacy. No-one was knocking on her door. No-one was seeking her opinion. No-one even knew where she was!

With a great feeling of exultation, Violet tucked her legs under her and allowed herself the freedom to become lost within a book for the first time in at least a fortnight.

Although generally popular, the park was quiet that afternoon and Violet felt herself truly able to relax. Before she knew it, an hour had passed and she had read eighty glorious pages, becoming lost in the lives and trials of the characters. It was only once she felt a drop of rain on her head that she looked up and saw that the skies had clouded over.

After hurriedly retreating under the tree and tucking her volume safely away, Violet was just pondering whether she should make a dash for it or try to wait it out when she heard her name. She instantly drew back behind the tree, knowing both who was calling her and what he was feeling. She thanked her lucky stars that she had chosen to wear her dark green cloak and crouched down upon the base, now having firmly decided to wait it out.

When faced with confrontation she would always try to leave it until later. Besides, she wanted to extend the pleasure of this afternoon and the sound of the rain falling was so pleasant …

Until her fiancé came striding around the trunk to glare at her.

The Viscount was red-faced and clearly furious. He scowled at her with such vehemence that she actually shrank back against the trunk.

"So, here you are, my soon-to-be-wife," he commented.

Violet swallowed.

He took a step forwards to lean almost casually against the trunk. His glower however, was anything but casual.

Still she couldn't find a word to say.

"Nothing to say, my love?" he asked with a dangerous calm. "Nothing to apologise for? Nothing to say at all?"

Violet swallowed again and found that she could no longer hold his gaze. Lord Bridgerton, however, would not allow this and took both her hands, dragging her to her feet. He held her chin and made her look up into his face.

"Nothing to say to myself or your parents, Violet?" he demanded.

Violet could see the anger, the fear, the almost panic that were whirling through his mind. Unhelpfully, she felt tears welling in her eyes.

"I …" she managed, "I … I just needed time to myself …"

"And you did not think it wise to inform anyone?"

"I wouldn't have been alone if I'd told someone …"

"And because none of us knew you could have been hurt or heaven forbid abducted and no-one would have known. By heaven, Violet, do you not have any concern for your personal safety?"

"I needed a break Edmund!" she exclaimed, ripping away from his hold. She held up her novel and brandished it at him. "I came here to read and find a few minutes for myself, why must you be so melodramatic about this?"

"Because I didn't know where you were!" he shouted back, "Anything could have happened to you!"

"I have been coming to this park my whole life! I played here as a child! I've come here by myself more times than I can count …"

"Then you were just as careless! Violet, I have been in terror about you! Your mother and father were anxious but they said they could reasonably guess where you were."

"So why did you worry?"

"Because I love you, you wretched girl! I need to know that you're safe! I insist upon one of my men accompanying you every time you leave the house from now on."

Violet stared at him. The Viscount had been pacing but he stopped when he saw how white she had gone.

"No." She had gone from feeling contrite and a little irritated to fully angry. Without a word, she drew up her hood and started striding away. Lord Bridgerton was quick to catch up with her.

"Violet, stop being so stupidly stubborn about this."

"I refuse to be followed everywhere for the rest of my life like some prisoner, my lord," she walked around him and would have left the park had he not taken her hand and pulled her under the shelter of a monument. The rain was now torrential and the bottom of her gown was soaked through.

"Violet, I insist upon you listening to me!"

"Not if you're going to treat me like your property, my lord," she stated icily, "And unhand me!" He did, though very reluctantly. She made to leave but he blocked her exit.

"Nay, Miss Clympton, I insist upon you listening to me."

"Why should I listen to a man who manhandles the woman he claims to love and insists upon treating her like his possession?" she snapped back.

"You are misinterpreting my actions and I will explain myself," he replied succinctly. "Now please be seated and allow me to explain what you have put me through this afternoon."

Although she wanted to refuse, Violet knew that she was in no position to and seated herself upon the stone bench with as much grace as she could. Her fiancée seemed to calm somewhat when he thought her less likely to attempt running away. He started pacing as he tried to gather his thoughts.

Eventually, he turned to her, "How would you have felt if you had arrived at my house, expecting to see me, only to find me nowhere to be seen, with no-one knowing where I was?" he began.

She considered, "I suppose I would have thought you had gone out,"

"But what if no-one thought I had gone out? What if you had vanished?"

"I suppose I would be a little concerned," she conceded.

"Add to that the other dimension that it starts to rain heavily and you are terrified that I may become wet through and very ill?"

Violet bit her lip at that, she would be worried if he had gone out and it had started to rain heavily. Edmund saw the chagrin softening her resentment and sat down beside her, taking her hands in his.

"Dearest, I was terrified for your well being," he added gently.

His softness affected her far more than his anger and she made herself look at him. "I'm sorry," she murmured, "I just … I needed a break and some time to myself … there always seem to be people around me every day …"

He sighed and drew her gently into his arms, "I know exactly how you feel," he stated, embracing her gently and placing a soft kiss on her head. "Which is why I wish you'd talked to me instead of running away. I would have happily escorted you here and kept you company, or allowed you your privacy, as long as I could have know where you were. Vi, darling, I was going out of my mind."

Unable to help himself, he lifted her on to his lap and held her face gently in his hands. "I would give you anything you want and do anything for you, but please, please talk to me next time."

When he held her like that and spoke with such sincerity, Violet found that she could not deny him and so she opened up her heart. She told him about how overwhelmed she was feeling, how unready she felt to be a Viscountess. She even went so far as to explain how much Miss Braydon's story had terrified her and how she could not help comparing their story to that of her and Lord Featherington. When she mentioned the nightmare and that phrase which so haunted her she wanted to hide her face in her hands, but made herself tell him everything.

For his part, the Viscount simply listened, holding her close and smoothing an occasional hand through her damp hair. It was not until she had finished that he raised her face from where she had been resting it in the crook of his neck and kissed her very gently. It was a kiss of comfort more than anything else, a reassurance of his love and it did her more good than she knew.

Once he drew away, she found that she could not resist kissing him again herself. With a tentative hand, she cupped his neck and pressed her lips to his. The Viscount responded eagerly, but allowed her to lead the kiss, holding her securely upon his lap.

It wasn't until she pulled away that he felt that tears that had stained her cheeks. Very gently, he kissed each tear away.

"I love you," he said softly, "I understand."

Violet stared at him, "You … you do? You don't know I'm a silly girl?"

He shook his head firmly, "Are you foolish to fear the unknown? I myself heard the story of Featherington's marriage and felt sorry for them, but what else could they have done, Violet?"

"Don't you see similarity between their relationship and ours?"

He shook his head, "I do not, and I hope you will not either. I asked you to marry me because I loved you and you agreed for the same reason." He made her look at him, "I want you to listen to me and believe what I say Violet. You have not and never will be a wanton. Do you believe me?"

All her senses were telling her to drop her eyes and hide, but she made herself look into his blue eyes. They were utterly sincere and for the first time that week, she allowed herself to relax and let go of her fear. He saw the tension leave her and sighed in relief.

After this he drew her close and tucked her head under his chin, "Violet, I know that all this is overwhelming, but no-one is going to leave you alone in this. We'll learn about marriage together. I promise that I will try not to be too overprotective, but you must make me a promise."

She raised her head to look at him, "What?"

"Promise me that you'll let me know where you're going if you ever choose to leave."

Slowly, she nodded, accepting that her action hadn't been the wisest. "But I don't want to be chaperoned everywhere when we are married," she added.

"Very well," he agreed, "But please, at least, tell me that you understand the danger you could have been in."

Violet sat up and faced him, "I am sorry," she stated.

Appeased, he nodded and gave her a long hug. "Can we remove the one kiss and one hug requirement for today?" he requested.

Unable to resist a chuckle, Violet nodded and felt him sigh in relief as he raised his head to kiss her again, less gently this time. It went on for quite a long time and thankfully, the torrential rain kept their intimate moment private away from the nosy eyes of the Ton.

However, when they did walk into the Clympton home half an hour later, they were both soaked through and received a sound telling off from Lady Clympton who insisted that they both go upstairs to change. It was only once they had bathed and changed into dry clothes that Violet was told off for disappearing. She apologised and admitted her wrong doing, though her mother did not complain too much when she saw the smiles that the young couple were sharing.

"I take it that you finally had the conversation that I've been telling you to?" her mother guessed.

Violet felt herself blushing slightly as she admitted that this might be true.

0 0 0

Author's note:

Well, they've sorted it out! We're really starting to head towards the end now. I hope you didn't think this chapter was filler, but the reality of marriage can be a very scary prospect, especially for a young lady! I was certainly nervous before mine!

I'm not sure how many more chapters there will be but we are nearly done.

As always, thank you so much for every favourite, read and review!

Breeze.