"It's a nice day," she said, holding out her hand.
If only you knew!
"...Attractive...," I murmured, saying the word so low she did not hear me. "Yes! Would you like to take a walk?" I said in a calm voice, while a polite smile stretched my lips.
Ridiculous, what an idea!
Her gray eyes, with a deep and disconcerting gaze, were filled with silent questions. This expression haunted me for a week. Just when her fascinating eyes encountered mine, I realized that anger - the anger that my conscience felt this girl deserved simply because she existed - had evaporated. As I took a breath, I tasted her perfume. I could not conceive that such a person may be hateful. I breathed deeply and detected a slight sweetness in the air that surrounded her. Previously dominated by a fragrance of white lilac, it had changed. It was reinforced by an artificial scent and I smiled, finding her choice natural. Her cheeks began to blush, and she said nothing.
I kept my eyes on hers, concentrating on her unformulated questions, and trying to ignore the pretty color her cheeks had taken.
"Go ahead," I begged her.
I let her pass the porch first. I behaved like a gentleman, as I had promised myself. Yet I needed all my self-control to turn and smile normally at her. I did not want to worry her with a sudden rush of joy. She raised her head and blushed, her eyes wide. Was something wrong with my expression?
"What is it?" she asked, blushing more.
"Dream Water."
"I knew you would realize it!" she said, and her teeth began to bite her lower lip.
"Yes! A very good choice! Indeed." I said without thinking. "Do you regret the choice?"
Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. She swallowed and looked down. Her shoulders slumped but then she straightened and with a tremor in her voice, she continued.
"No. I found it quite, umm..."
I understood that she had difficulty admitting her attraction to this scent and I interrupted her: "It suits you marvelously, believe me."
I stared at the street. I took another breath through my teeth and grimaced. I looked at the girl again, impressed by the overwhelming and devastating effect she produced with her incredible charm on me. I understood the reaction of Alex. She was not just pretty, but extraordinary!
Her face was beautiful and interesting. It was symmetrical; her thin nose was exactly in the middle of her narrow cheekbones. Her skin was gracefully combined with the sparkling mahogany shimmer of her hair. But above all, there were her enigmatic eyes which suddenly landed on me. I returned her gaze, trying to pull out even one of her mysteries. I stared, fascinated as she smiled, looking a little embarrassed.
"Goodbye sunshine, eh?" I said, watching the cloudy sky.
The clouds, indeed, were piled up and rain began to fall. This banal and boring subject of conversation should do the trick for beginners. She looked at me full of doubts.
"Yes," she said, surprising me again.
I kept the conversation harmless. I was hoping, deep down, that she loved sunny warm spots - even if her skin seemed to prove otherwise. I thought that in spite of her pallor, perhaps she didn't find the heat uncomfortable.
"Do you like the sun?" I asked with hope.
"Yes, and the warm summer rain," she added with a smile.
"You must hardly endure the gloomy weather of Paris, then."
Perhaps you love the rain forest, or the sea, or whatever you will discover with me.
However, I was not sure that this was what I really wanted. I knew I could never forget her, and if she just disappeared, her existence would remain forever a mystery to me - a dream. An eternal puzzle unsolved.
"You can't imagine how much," she said in a low voice, glancing at the dark around her. Her answers were never what I expected, but they gave me the desire to know more about her.
"Have you come here to settle down?" she asked, and then realized in the next moment that the tone was too direct for a casual conversation.
The question seemed rude, intrusive, but I liked it. I began to intrigue her, and that made me smile.
"Why?"
"Mm... Your accent is slightly different... Not that... How do you say? There is something in you that is very different from others, I do not know really explain it, maybe."
Did she have the ability be able to sense the tiny details that set us abnormal people apart from normal people? I shuddered, thinking she could find - or feel - more about me than I wanted.
"It's complex," I said.
She blinked her beautiful eyes. Leaving the conversation in this state, I felt her about to explode with curiosity, and she wasn't the only one. Indeed, I realized it was getting a little easier with her by my side. In fact, I felt that over time, it would be agony to be without her. "I would succeed," she said as she insisted on holding my gaze.
"Succeed?" I repeated, and I looked at her, curious.
"To understand," she continued, smiling.
Perhaps the simple courtesy of my answers would push her to respond to my questions. It would appear quite spontaneous for me to begin asking my questions. She stared at her sneakers silently while walking. That made me impatient. I would have liked to take my hand and gently rotate her head toward me and read her eyes. But that would be silly of me - and dangerous.
It was too early.
She raised her eyes suddenly. It was a relief to see myself reflected in her eyes again. She spoke hastily. "What's your name? I am..."
"Alma, I know." I cut off her sentence, abruptly.
"How?" she asked with a trembling voice.
She did not know that I already knew her name. I laughed gently. I looked at her as if I was discovering her for the first time. A sad smile took shape on my lips.
"How could I forget…," I stopped and continued the sentence in my head, "... even once, your first name?" Yet I couldn't voice those words! It was too soon! I would scare her. "It's not a secret to me." I coughed, embarrassed. A blunder!
This confession proved to her that she had become the focus of my attention. "No, apparently," she replied, shaking her head slightly. Her expression - if I deciphered correctly - was divided between discomfort and upheaval. Her skin turned pinker. I pretended not to notice.
"N... no—" I stammered awkwardly, looking away. I began to realize that her answer meant that I had made a mistake. I was suddenly very embarrassed. She had found the flaw very quickly. She was insightful! But there was something else. Something much more problematic than all the assumptions she could make about me. I tried to explain myself. "I have a good memory, that's all."
The sadness drowned her clear eyes and a small wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows. She seemed suddenly lost. She took a few seconds to react.
"Yes, that's it."
"Estrange, my name is Estrange. It seems rather strange." Ah, it was quite easy to understand.
"No. Not at all! And that suits you! It's you!"
Her change in attitude and expression was amazing. As if the sun reappeared after the passage of a huge rain cloud.
"Really?"
"Yes. You're strange, in your own way, with your feline style, and your cat green eyes. You're in." She ended the phrase with a laugh.
"Fashionable?"
"That's what Fanny says! She has almost become addicted to you since she saw you."
I did not give her time to think by adding: "I am looking for a missing person."
"Really? Missing for how long?"
"For almost two months."
"A family member?"
"No, I have no family."
"That's sad." Her voice was gentle and pleasant. I suddenly felt melancholy and helpless, and I found myself wanting to comfort her. "When did this happen? Your family?"
"I vaguely remember my father. My mother - not at all." My voice sounded distant and Alma's expression darkened as if the information affected her. I assumed that she was feeling empathy. Most people express the opposite.
"Why?"
"What is it?" I asked, suddenly confused because I did not understand what was hidden behind this.
"Why is it, when I look at you, I have this feeling of déjà vu? Why?"
I hardened myself, tensing all my muscles to lock them in place, and then I inhaled a deep breath. How should I respond to such a question?
"When was that?"
I held my breath after asking the question.
"For about three weeks."
"Does it often happen to you?" I said, trying to learn more.
"No, it's the first time." She wanted to correct my mistaken assumption and the shadow of a smile was perceptible at the corners of her animated lips. "The only time I think," she went on.
That didn't agree with the scenario that I was building in my head!
"That's why you did not stay with your friends? You wanted to talk to me to understand, right?" I insisted, my curiosity too obvious in my voice.
I had to admit, I was now captivated.
"I felt drawn like a magnet." Her half-smile became even more embarrassed - this choice of comparison seemed to amuse her. I smiled too without any real joy, just trying to relax her. Her smile was infectious and made me want to smile back at her as if we shared a secret.
"Attracted?" I asked, scrolling through my head each of her different looks that I was aware of, and wondering which was the most appealing.
"Hmm."
She smiled again.
I began to work out all the possibilities that could occur between two people that are attracted to each other, and I imagined a new scenario.
"And this pushed you towards me in order to study this attraction?" I argued.
Making assumptions seemed to work better with her than asking questions. It had worked again. She shook her head, and suddenly she had an odd expression.
"No," she said. My assumption had irritated her. I smiled again. Her voice was harder. "I just wanted to."
I could not guess the reason for her sudden annoyance. So I gave up. All this made no sense. She was not like the others. Her intoxicating scent was perhaps not the only unusual thing. She wanted to be accountable!
"I think it escapes me. I don't understand," I admitted, although I hated admitting defeated.
She sighed and looked at me, diving into my eyes much longer than the majority of normal people were able. "At first, nearly three weeks ago, I had a dream. I dreamed of water, a river, I think. It was all around me. It covered me and almost drowned me. Seaweed was mingled with my hair. And fingers were trying to pull it off. They were long and thin and pale." She was whispering, and looking down at my hands hidden in the pockets of my jacket. "I was cold... so cold! Then I sank. I didn't know where I was when I reopened my eyes. I found myself on the stage of a theater," she explained slowly, in a tone more and more overwhelmed with every word. "My dream was... It was dark, I watched from afar as a snapshot was placed on a table - I did not understand how I could see in the dark, but this picture drew me and I could not resist approaching it and wanting to touch it, to take it. I was happy when I discovered that it was a photo, but the photo vibrated between my fingers and the face which had been obscured, faced me and I saw it clearly. I felt like I had been reborn after a long sleep. But when I woke up, I realized I could not remember who he was..." The little wrinkle between her eyes deepened. Her hands were rubbing each another in one continuous movement, hypnotic, endlessly.
"Now what?" I whispered.
I could not prevent myself from speaking aloud what I thought and hoped as well to learn more about her. Maybe that was wrong? This time, however, I had the impression of being closer to the truth - she seemed lost!
"Now? Big deal!" she said, dismissing the subject.
I forced my gaze on her eyes. Suddenly I had the feeling of entering her soul for the first time. She was determined and wanted to give the impression that she did not suffer! But I felt her sentence, as if it was mine! While I realized this, the mystery of the person hidden behind this sharp mind began to reveal itself a little bit.
"You have trouble and are not very forthcoming," I said. I shrugged my shoulders casually, to conceal the intensity of my curiosity.
"Didn't anyone ever tell you?" she laughed without joy, "Life is never as beautiful and fair as in your dreams!"
I would have liked to have laughed with her, however, my joy, like hers, had faded. I knew something about the injustice of life. "I've heard that somewhere before."
She looked at me and seemed lost again. Her eyes fled mine, and then came back and stared at me the next second. "No need to complain. We live and we learn," she said.
However, I did not want not to let the conversation end either. This little line between her eyebrows, just a mark that betrayed her pain, disturbed me. I wanted to smooth her forehead with the tips of my fingers. But, of course, I could not touch her. It was not... good manners.
"Go on, you were saying?" I expressed myself quietly, reflecting on this new hypothesis.
"Yes! You are also looking for someone, right?"
"Yes, but I bet you're worried because of your dream more than you let it show." She grinned, her eyes narrowed, her mouth twisted into a wry unattractive face, and she looked away. She did not like that I penetrated her calm appearance. "I'm wrong?" I added quickly and she shuddered. She pretended not to hear me and it made me smile. "I knew it! Will you let me help you in your research?"
"And why do you care about it?" she asked, still looking elsewhere.
"I just want to help." I admitted to myself rather than to her. "But if you prefer to explore alone..."
Apparently, her discernment was greater than my own - she went directly to the bottom of things when I was shooting around the bush in search of clues. In truth, the details of her dream should not concern me! Yet, they concerned me directly! However, she had not yet recognized me. I was quite worried about what she thought. I was not used to being the least insightful in a conversation. I was too dependent on my ability to decipher others but I was not as clairvoyant with her as I thought.
Alma sighed and glared at a random pedestrian. Something in her frustrated appearance was funny. The whole situation, the conversation was funny. No one has ever been so close to the solution of a problem and yet so far away than this girl! At any moment I could, distracted by the captivating conversation, also confess the truth, and she was irritated because I did not answer her questions!
"Do I annoy you?" I asked, smiling and thinking about such nonsense.
She gave me a quick glance, and seemed caught by my eyes. "Not really. I annoy myself, rather. I'm so dark sometimes!" She frowned and appeared suddenly upset by her remark.
I observed, in the grip of utter amazement. I did not know if the reason for her sudden irritation was that she thought she was unable to communicate, or if she had withdrawn, or if she was just sad. And it was weird! I had never been so eager to understand someone in my life.
"I do not agree!" I objected, and I felt strangely taut. As if there was hidden risk where I ventured. Suddenly I was on my guard, this intuition rendered me anxious. "Why do you say that? How dark? Beyond your understanding?"
"I do not know! Yes, maybe!"
"I do not believe that!"
"So you have to be very good!" she guessed, making a hypothesis that was the exact truth.
I smiled, opening my lips to reveal a row of gleaming teeth.
"Mostly, yes," I confirmed without realizing that I was revealing so much to her.
Her body was closer to me than before. She had unwittingly advanced during the conversation. Why does not she move away? She certainly must have seen enough of my bewitching side to guess the attraction she felt, intuitive as she seemed to be.
A passing fire truck honked and attracted the attention of everyone at that moment, and she turned away from me. She seemed a little relieved by the unexpected intervention. However, I was hoping that was not the case.