Pain and awakening

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After preparing a save just in case I mess up what I want to do I faced Hiashi and said " I can only think of two ways that can save her do you want to know them ?"

Hiashi and Hinata both looked excited that there's a way to save Himawari but I quickly killed their hopes and said " first listen to what I'm going to say before you get your hopes up ".

"You are right , please tell us what solution you came up with" said Hiashi with a frown.

"The first way is to transfer someone's life force directly to her , but to do that you need a special jutsu which I don't have and I don't think our whole village have" hearing what I said Hiashi's frown deepened but he waited for me to explain the second way.

"The second way I am sure another medical-nin already proposed it to you. It's to inject her with chakra that has the properties to increase vitality and help her restore the balance between her physical and spiritual energies. Of course the problem here is the rarity of such chakra and the huge requirement for chakra control since any mistakes will cause the patient's death".

Hearing my second solution looked helpless and said " indeed one of the medical-nin proposed it and explained its danger , but we couldn't even attempt it because we couldn't find someone with this kind of chakra that can restore vitality".

Hinata looked sad when she heard our conversation and her eyes started tearing up again until she heard my next words " well, I just happen to have this kind of chakra, but the problem is I don't have enough control and experience as a medical-nin so I can't promise you anything".

Hiashi looked at me with doubt but hidden inside his eyes was pure excitement " do you really have such chakra?"

Different from him , Hinata looked purely excited and seemed to believe me so I decided to make a quick demonstration " give me your hand" I said as I took out a kunai.

Hiashi quickly understood what I want to do so he rolled up his sleeve and extended his hand and I used the kunai to make a small cut to the horror of Hinata but soon it was gone when I extended my hand and red chakra came out of it just enough to cover the cut and it quickly healed without leaving a single scar.

Hiashi was delighted because he understood I didn't use any medical ninjutsu that stimulates the natural regeneration process of the body ,and he even felt revitalized after that chakra entered his body " amazing, with this chakra we might really save Himawari".

'Well of course idiot if the nine tails chakra doesn't work , nothing will ' I thought , I got this chakra from Kurama and Minato and Kushina helped seal it inside of my clone just for this purpose.

"So do you want to take the risk or not?" I said.

Hiashi wasn't sure on what to do since the risk is too big , but a voice soon dispelled his hesitation " please save mommy " it was Hinata's voice.

Looking at his daughter and knowing that his wife will only die if this continues he said " we are willing to take the risk , please save my wife " as he bowed his head a little.

I nodded at him and said" I will do my best but you should understand nothing is for free".

He nodded back at me and said "the Hyuga clan will make sure to repay the favor if you save her".

'It's good since you promised to involve all of your clan because you alone are worthless to me' I thought but outwardly I only said " good I will trust your words".

I focused my attention back on the sleeping Himawari and activated my Sharingan again to check the situation of her chakra and I could barely see anything because of how little there's left.

I put my hand on her abdomen and started channeling a very small quantity of Kurama's chakra inside of her and once I made contact with where her spiritual and physical energies connect , I started transforming it into physical energy and tried to merge it with what remained inside of her but what I didn't expect is for the previously calm spiritual energy inside of her to rush at the energy I was controlling but because the difference in ratios was so big the foreign energy was instead pushed away causing Himawari's body to start shaking.

Seeing that the situation was going bad I did my best to inject more chakra and regain the control I lost on the first one I injected but this time I made a terrible mistake as I put too much causing her shrank chakra channels to directly overload and with a strong shake they exploded causing Himawari to die...

"MOMMY!!!"HIMAWARI!!!" two shrill voices filled with despair were heard at the same time...

I stood there lost in the moment because intended or not, I killed this woman, a woman that did me no harm . I expected this to happen and I thought that knowing I can go back in time will make it easier for me to accept it but looking at the desperation in Hiashi's eyes and the look in Hinata's eyes it suddenly brought back some old memories I wanted to forget.

It was the look of seeing your whole world collapsing and I remember that day too when I lost everything ... including my heart , the day both my parents were killed in front of me when I was just a kid and I couldn't do anything but hide.

Looking at the current situation and seeing my younger self in Hinata's eye caused me to refeel that terrible memory , a memory I could never forget.

As I was lost in those memories, Hiashi in his anger and sadness jumped at me ( my clone) and hit my clone with a strong palm strike not intended to kill but it was enough to dispel my clone.

I received the memories and experience of this clone and without me realizing it , the tomoes of my Sharingan started to slowly transform into the shape of a triquetra ( picture in the chapter's comment).

That terrible pain I felt caused me to awaken my Mangekyo Sharingan and I instinctively understood the new abilities I got from it , abilities really fitting for me ironically...

'At least something good came out of all of this' I thought as my eyes reverted back to normal and I thought back at how the devastated Hiashi looked at me with anger causing me to feel a deep guilt.

I slowly calmed myself down again and started remembering the process I went through and the mistakes I made while noting everything that happened so next time I won't fail so miserably...

Back at The Hyuga house , Hiashi kept grieving in sadness and anger at the kid that toyed with him with a clone but it was his decision to try this so he kept blaming himself even more. While Hinata simply cried nonstop while hugging her mother.

After I finished sorting out my experience I thought 'the pain I feel in my heart is bad enough , I don't want to be a source of pain for others too ' as I made a promise to myself to be more careful in the future.

Feeling it was time , I opened the system's panel and chose to load to the save point with the name I didn't find funny anymore ' I am not a doctor' and knowing that I was back in time I felt at ease again but now with different eyes...