I Had To Do It

Well that was an interesting night if I do say so myself. I may just have to crawl in a hole and hide for a few days. .Yeah, that'd be nice.

I do believe I might to start putting my foot down when it comes to these 'surprise parties' the ladies love to spring on me. And maybe I don't want to. I don't know. .Sigh.

Well I'm going to relax for the day at least. THEN go find a hole. With everyone asleep, even Abby is cozied in, I went to check on the the. .sigh. K.O.A.C students. Whatever, the kids have to deal with the embarrassment, not me.

I fly to their old establishment since the new dorms are now being added near the new site of the school. Which looks amazing. Abby must have put her hand in because the land looks leveled off and the few swamps already filled in where she has them working. I know that usually takes more time than the constructing the building!

I should probably try to learn from A.O too. Maybe it would help me master the shadow magic that Abby can do. Or at least help me get further in it, dang it. Or maybe I can do that gateway travel they can do. .Anyways, I derailed again. So I get to their dorm to hear the kids fighting. .

Well, verbally yelling in a very crude fashion that would undermine their intelligence amongst the populace.

Tabitha: "Well keep your damn hands off my ass you fucking creep! I don't want to be touched, much less by the 'fastest man around'. I bet a virgin shit like you -would- be quick!"

Aaa~nd that settles it. It was nice knowing you Pietro. I can already guess how you will dieing tonight. . You gonna go 'boom boom'. Bon voyage. Or is it boom voyage? Ehh, good enough.

Pietro: "I swear it wasn't me Tabitha! Or any of us guys! Honest, we aren't like that anymore!"

Tabitha: "Then who the hell is it?!"

Me: "Yo everybody."

Was it a bad idea to walk in at that time? Not really, they needed a distraction. Was it a bad idea to walk in with my hand up in the air as I greeted them? Possibly, because now Tabitha has hearts for eyes now. I was not saying it was me little lady, geezum.

Me: "Tabitha, please get off my arm. I'm only here to check in on you all."

I swear I want to facepalm so hard right now. I can almost feel the imprint.

Tabitha: "Oh come on, Richard, what's one more lady added to your harem of hungry women."

. . .

Me: "One, it is Mr. Klyntar to you. Two, I do not have a harem. Three, yes they are hungry, In fact they might be eating breakfast without me since I left before they woke. Four, I came to announce that me and Abby have some interesting news for you all later. And five, --"

This is where my good buddy, the tentacle of chompiness, comes in handy. I grab Tabitha by her waist and then, vroom vroom, off she goes! I don't hear her yelling at me, or her screams as I go from room to room until I find a 'girlish' room to drop her off in. I would assume it was with all the stuffed toys, but you know what they say when it comes to assuming. Doesn't matter to me. I dropped her on her bum and retracted the T.O.C back to me.

Me: "So would you inform the rest of the students for me Pietro? I don't know what time Abby will be ready, but I guesstimate around lunch time."

Pietro: "Uhh, sure Mr. Klyntar. ."

Me: "Thanks kid. Oh, and make sure your sis is available. It also concerns her abilities."

And with that I left. I had to head over to Xavier's institute. Hopefully the guys are there, I still want to go bar hopping in the city with them.

It did not take me long to reach the place and I find Logan, surprise surprise, in the garage fixing up his motorcycle. Wish I could say I'm a manly man and capable of such things, but alas, I'm not.

I land in and hail the guy.

Me: "Logan, my very hairy brother, how's it been?"

He grunts at me.

Me: "Ah, yeah, I know how that goes. Anyways, I got some news for you."

Another grunt.

Me: "Yep, it's important. Well at least for the kids. You can skip if you want, but it's pretty wild if you wanna hear about it."

Psh, he just rolled his eyes at me. Well at least he responded with an affirmative grunt.

Me: "Appreciate it brother. Expect us all here around lunch. I'm bringing some rum and your favorite beer."

Bastard waved me off. Whatever, you be a macho man, I'mma go see if the ladies are awake and ready.

.

.

.

I arrived home to see everyone, and I do mean everyone, in my kitchen and dining room. Abby must have cooked like a mad woman or ordered out to feed these many people. I hugged my kids, adorable little shits they are, and gave all my ladies a kiss on the head. Mystique didn't evade me, so that is good. And I had to, reluctantly!, give Jean a kiss on her head too otherwise all the women might murder me.

I don't get why they are pushy. I really don't. I do not believe in that whole 'women are mysterious and a man shall never understand' nonsense, but I really have no idea what is going on in their minds.

Me: "Abby, I went ahead and gave Pietro and Logan the heads up. I told them to expect us around lunch time at least."

Abby: "Thank you honey. And no, I shall tell anyone what that is until we all meet up. Now resume eating, I need to get in touch with Ms. Potts before we head out there."

I searched for my plate while she went off to her lair in the basement. Did she not make me a plate? That just ain't right.

Jean: "Your plate. It's in the microwave, Richard."

Me: "Oh, uh, thank you Jean."

Wow, sound like a pre-pubescent boy why don't I. She's just a girl going through a phase. I can handle this. And I see the only seat available is next to her. .The women are conspiring against me. I can tell.

Me: "Thanks for leaving me a seat open, I am starving! So ho--w is everyone today."

Dang it Jean, don't grab my privates like that!

Jenn: "Oh it was okay. I woke to Abby's cooking. For a simple breakfast, she does it some mean justice."

Focus on the conversation, focus on the conversation, focus not on the stroking but the conversation!

Ororo: "Oh I do agree. She is quite the fast learner. That she is able to cook a meal for ten people, while timing everything so it is still hot for everyone, speaks for her ability."

Yep, great cook, just great. .oh celestials. .focus on conversation again. Just focus on that and not how good Jean is with her hands. .Damn it, someone is stroking my legs with their feet! Grr, more like someones. I can tell by the size of the feet that it is both Jenn and Ororo. Focus on the bacon. Man this is some good bacon.

Thank goodness Abby arrived soon. I pleaded Mystique, with my eyes, to save me but she just smirked at my plight. Curse you woman! It didn't help that Felicia was soon teaming up with Jean to. .to ya know. Torture me.

Abby: "It is almost 12. Is everyone done with their meal and ready to go? Richard, you barely touched your plate, are you alright?"

I would be if you would stop smirking and save me!

Abby: "Well hurry up and we can all be on our way."

I think I may have scarfed my meal down. I can't even remember how it tasted but I ate it at least.

As usual, Abby rounded us up and away we went! I know I monologue it often, but hell man, S.T. is really freaking awesome!

Pietro did his duty well because all the kids at the dorm old mini brotherhood dorm were gathered up and waiting for us. One more travel away and, voila, we were at Xavier's.

Me: "Abby, I need to borrow Wanda for a minute. We will catch right up."

Abby: "Alright love, don't take too long."

I motioned for Wanda and she followed me over. Though she stood stock still at a distance away from me. Huh? Did I do something that made her wary of me?

Me: "Wanda, you okay?"

Wanda: "Yep, perfect. Absolutely perfect."

Well that was to the point. At least she is looking me in the eyes.

Me: "Alright. Well I want to let you know that this coming up gathering is particularly in mind of you. I don't want you to freak out okay? But you're a witch, Wanda."

Wanda: "W-w-w-what?"

Me: "Right. That may have come out a little strong. But I think your mutant abilities have a closer tie to the magical side of this world. We found someone who could be a suitable teacher to assist you. She's going to be teaching only twice a week, but I think you are capable of getting into a higher class and making it into a more full time, hands on, lesson from her."

Wanda: "Yeah, that sounds great. Well I'll take my leave now. Later Mr. Klyntar."

She used her magic to speed away from me. What the hell? That's all the reaction I get? I expected more! Ugh, maybe Abby already informed her. Welp, time to head over.

Abby was giving everyone the buttered up story about how I encountered the Buddhist community and how A.O was willing to teach the students. Abby waved me over, sigh, guess I gotta be in the center of attention. Ugh, and I can't picture everyone naked to calm my nerves.

A.O had arrived through her portal at the time I walked over. It was a good thing I blocked most everyone's view because she stumbled at first before recovering. Okay, it's my turn to address the crowd.

Me: "This is the leader of the community I was lucky to stumble upon. She is referred to as The Ancient One and will get the utmost respect from you kids. She earned her place and is the most learned among them all. She has taught everyone there and I do hope you do us proud by learning all you can."

Man, I am an awesome speaker. All the guys are looking me in the eyes but the girls don't seem as interested. Tsk, not as good as I thought. Thankfully A.O was able to rescue me.

A.O: "Allow me to show you what you can learn."

A strong woman of few words. Especially when she starts folding the space around everyone. Ugh, I swear that gives me vertigo! I had to focus on Abby while A.O gave everyone a crash course in the art of awesomeness.

Abby: "Hon. That was great and all, it's just one thing-"

Me: "I know. Not really as great a speaker as you. But at least the guys listened to me."

Abby: "No, it is not that. Well. ."

She looked down and I followed her eyes. .Oh crapsicle. .Sigh. .

Little Richard was still awake the whole time.