-Defaced dollar bills-

---

There I was just peacefully selling my pearls at a marketplace. Trying to at any rate. No one wanted to buy them. I glare at the merchant and she cowers back in fear. "What do you mean you won't do business with me?"

"W-well...forgive me for saying this, your most glorious of beasts, y-your most shining of shapes...but I do not have enough credits to trade you for your..." She glances nervously at the handful of pearls I dumped onto her table. "...wares..."

"Seriously?! These things aren't THAT expensive are they?" I pick one up to squint at it. It looked like a normal pearl to me. "How about just one? Can you buy just one?"

"I am v-very sorry most patient of customers. This humble merchant simply cannot afford to-"

"Ok, please stop that. It's weirding me out. And that's saying a LOT considering who I am. Also, are you sure you really can't buy one? I have over 400 that I'm just trying to get rid of. I don't mind selling them for cheap. I just don't have any use for them."

"Oh no! This unworthy manager of wares would never dream of exchanging your most wondrous of gems for anything less than their proper price." The merchant, a rather cute looking alien with a round catlike body with a pom-pom shaped antenna (I swear it looked just like a Moogle) sweated nervously.

I groan and slap my hand over my eye. This was the 5th merchant who refused to barter with me. Word spreads and now people seem to think I have extremely high standards and would destroy someone's house if I felt I was being gyped. Ugh.

I finally leave the marketplace (to the relief of everyone there) and teleport to an entirely different planet. Obviously I can't get anything done as 'Bill'. I shifted into my human form, landed on the soft grass of Smarvis-914 and immediately jumped. Ah! Tickles!

I float slightly above the ground and formed shoes. I should really do something about my lack of shoes as a human. I lowered myself back onto the ground and shifted my clothes so I wasn't blatantly wearing Bill's colors. My yellow brick patterned poncho turned into a simple red dress with a teddy bear pattern. Checking my reflection in a nearby stream I felt I couldn't look any less like Bill Cipher. This would work fine.

Materializing a small backpack and a pouch to put the pearls in, I set off for the nearest source of civilization. Here's hoping I can finally pawn off this dead weight. They're pretty but I have no use for them. And it would be a waste to just throw them out. Briefly I wonder if I could register my human form under a separate identity with the Federation so I can start a bank account. Getting paid in Credits would be more useful than getting this planet's currency and needing to exchange it when I actually want to use it.

A thought for the future. Its not a bad idea. Especially if I was going to use this form more often for such purposes. I'll need to name myself something too. How about Miz? That sounds enough like a generic alien name right?

Bartering was so much easier when the merchant you're talking to wasn't absolutely terrified of you. It was also more frustrating when they offer an absurdly low price for stuff. "I may not know about gem prices but I know that I shouldn't get any less than 400 Secs for these." I pout at the pawn shop owner.

"Look kid. You don't have an ID, you refuse to give me a straight answer about where you got these gems from and you're obviously trying to get rid of them. Chances are these are stolen goods so you should be grateful I'm even offering to take them off your hands instead of calling the cops."

"...350 Secs." I pout.

"200." He replies smoothly.

"325." I cross my arms.

"250." He leans against the counter.

"300." I narrow my eyes at him.

"275." He says smugly.

My eyebrow twitches before I sigh. "Fine."

"Pleasure doing business with you." The plant-like creature says as he takes the pearls and counts up my money.

I make a show of being upset but I actually didn't care. I'm just glad I finally got rid of them. Also have some spending money now. Yay~

Should I go shopping? What even would I get? I can already materialize anything I want. Just pull together particles and move around protons and neutrons to make whatever element I wanted, combine them into molecules and literally craft what I wanted from the ground up. It took CENTURIES to learn. I had to understand what any item I wanted was actually made from.

Like building a sand castle one grain at a time.

Whatever I make stays. Unless I actively disperse it (which requires effort as well), any item I craft or change I make is permanent. That applies to any sorts of bodily modifications I force on people that annoy me. It stays until I reverse it. I remember testing my ability to cause spontaneous mutations to biological life forms on some mindless animals I found.

It might have been considered animal cruelty but I had to practice my powers somehow and its better to test them on something that wasn't a sentient, thinking creature. Biological transmutation requires more focus if I wanted to avoid killing the victim. I had to shift their flesh around in a way that didn't cause their bodies to shut down.

I spent a lot of time amassing knowledge on different alien biologies to better understand how bodies worked. Even my human form wasn't perfect. Not yet anyway. It looked human enough but on a biological level it was somewhat...off. Because I didn't know enough about the human body yet. I had all the anatomy correct, but the genetics? This form was literally just a flesh sack formed out of organs, blood and bone. It didn't have true DNA, no blueprint for cells to follow when they grow and split. It was an unchanging flesh suit, not a real living body.

I looked human without being human. On the downside, this form was empty inside. On the upside, it was durable, can survive various planets and environments that humans couldn't, can eat food and taste it (the food breaks down inside me and is phased through the pores in my skin, the same as it would in my triangle form, its just a more efficient digestion process), can feel more sensation than my triangle form is capable of and I can't get pregnant.

Not that I would ever do anything to have that happen but it was reassuring to know that if something unspeakable occurred, I was at least safe from that.

I left the pawn shop and wandered around the city. Window shopping was always fun. If I see something I want, might as well. I got a few strange looks but was otherwise ignored by people. It was nice to be able to walk around without everyone running to the opposite side of the street.

---

Making a new identity wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Literally all I had to do was walk into a Federation license office, fill out some paperwork and hand over my money. Granted it was a LOT of money. I ended up making more gems and gold to pawn off in multiple different dimensions to get the money together for it.

If I pay enough money the Federation welcomes you with open arms. I look at my Citizen card then glance at the long line of people trying to gain citizenship. Many Federation owned areas required a citizenship to be allowed to enter. This included many buildings, planets and whole dimensions. I can just teleport so its never been a problem for me but...

I scanned the people in line. A family of refugees from Chauhiri after the star nearest to the planet died and everyone was forced to evacuate. A disowned princess from the M dimension. A father trying to get a Travel License so he could return to his family for the first time in many years.

I watched as they were turned away by the workers behind the desks. I watched as the father desperately held up what little money he had and begged. The man at the desk simply told him to get a job and earn the money needed to purchase the license. I know full well many Federation run planets don't even LET you get a job without a citizenship.

It was unfair.

"How much does he need?"

"What?"

The room went silent as I marched up to the front desk. I crossed my arms angrily and stared down the man behind the desk, a large insect-like creature. "How much does he need to get the license?" I repeat.

"A Travel License costs 2000 credits." He responded.

I turn to look at the father. "I'll pay for your license." He stares at me in shock. The man behind the desk chitters in protest. "You can't just-"

"Is there any rule against this?" I ask, knowing full well there wasn't.

"Well...no...but..."

"Then I would like to purchase a travel license for this man." I said as I held up my new card, which already had all the various currencies I'd exchanged over into credits earlier. The bug-man looked incredibly flustered. I just stared him down. It took a while but the father (name, Ultigh, species, Blue Elephesant) walked out with the travel pass and a confused look on his face. I blinked away as he turns to say something to me.

---

Why did I help him? Sure I felt bad for him but...I felt bad for the others as well. I didn't have enough money for everyone else and out of the people there I'd chosen him? Why? I growl in frustration. It was more done as a spur of the moment than any real sympathy. I was there and I could. But shouldn't I have helped the others instead?

Sometimes I don't know what I'm thinking anymore.

What am I doing with my life? I have no purpose. Aside from dreading the eventual summoning job from Time Baby, there's nothing I really have to do. I don't have a real job. I don't need to eat, sleep or fulfill any real obligations. I've found various ways to entertain myself and waste time. I've learned to play every instrument I've found throughout the multiverse. I took up painting, sculpting and other activities. I sit and watch the Galactic TV for hours and hours until all the shows and dramas blur together and I'm just bored as shit.

It's not enough. I just feel restless and unhappy. I just want to talk to someone. I just want to be around someone. I'm so lonely. I blink to the space between spaces where Ax is and just float down to lay on his arm.

-What's wrong this time?- Ax stirs and wakes up to look at me.

"Nothing...can I just stay with you for a while?"

He rumbles and settles back down to sleep. I'm incredibly jealous that he can. I'm so tired. I can't sleep. I close my eye anyway. I lay on his soft arm, one hand curled around his finger, and just...stop thinking. I can almost pretend I'm sleeping too.

---

I get summoned again. I adjust my hat and make a smile. Keep my spirits up. I will not break. I can do this.

Maybe this Deal would turn out better. Shouldn't let the first disastrous mess put me off what may well be the ONLY purpose in my life. I should go check on the 3rd dimension again. See if Earth is any closer to existing. After one final check on my appearance I blinked away to meet my summoner.

---

I've gotten more used to this by now. These summonings for various Deals. Some good, some bad. I continue to try and give people a chance, I give my terms and they need to follow them. I can grant nearly anything people want. Wealth? Done. Power? If they word it correctly. Knowledge? I've got that in spades. Love?

"What do you mean you can't make him fall in love with me?"

"It's not that I can't. It's that I won't." I say simply.

"Why not?" The Multimur girl's fur is bristling angrily.

"Because your love life isn't important enough for me to use my powers on. Really kid. Did you seriously summon THE Bill Cipher just to make your crush pay attention to you?"

"I summoned you! You have to do what I want!"

I was starting to get annoyed. With just a thought we were surrounded by blue flames. The girl waved her many arms in panic. "I don't have to DO anything kid. I don't mind helping you TRY to win his heart, but I'm not going to just MAKE him love you."

I get clients like this sometimes. People who who can't tell the difference between love or lust. People who think the heart could be so easily manipulated to whatever they want. As a master of the mind I could easily grant what they THINK they want. But manipulation of feelings like that is disgusting and it is one line I will not cross. Never. I will never do something that horrible.

"Look kid, if you really want this guy, can't you just…go and talk to him?"

"Then make me beautiful! Make me so beautiful that he'll HAVE to love me!" She insists.

I roll my eye even as I consider all sorts of options for effects and prices. I've recently developed a taste for Karmic punishment toward clients with annoying or selfish desires. Oh, I'll make her beautiful alright. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everyone will behold her from now on.

"Sure kid, you'll be the most beautiful thing anyone sees, and in exchange…" What would I like in return? Eh, why not? "…treat me to lunch."

"What?" She stares at me in confusion as her 3 sets of ears all twitched. I shrug. "I can't really think of anything I want at the moment. So just buy me food. You should be grateful I'm being so lenient with you." Also, I will LITERALLY do anything to get some social interaction.

"Ok, deal."

((((((((((Mildly lewd content)))))))))))

We shake on it and she cries out in pain as her body shifts and morphs. I'm somewhat curious what she'll turn into with me. It was a simple Curse. I can't make her beautiful, everyone has a different idea of what is beautiful. So I just made it so she'll transform into what is considered beautiful to whoever is looking at her. I watch as she writhes painfully and her body mutates into a horrifying mass of flesh. Ooh…oh dear…was this due to my curse not working correctly? Or is my personal tastes in aesthetic appearances just too complicated for the curse to properly manifest?

I looked away so I could ponder this question and give her a break from her mutating cells. Wait. I think I know the problem. I have a shapeshifting fetish. So she would keep changing so long as I was enjoying it. Probably best if I made myself exempt from being part of the Curse effects. This was still a problem, I'm a good guy though, so I spend some time tweaking her curse somewhat to make it less volatile. See how nice I am? "Shit...sorry...probably should have done this more carefully..."

She groans, trembling with exhaustion from her DNA being twisted so roughly. She was also now a 'he'…um…oops? I'd adjusted the settings so that she would stay the same species and only shift along features naturally found in her species. So…success? I backed away uncomfortably and decided to make a hasty retreat from this awful faux pas before anything happens.

"Ah…know what? I'll just give you the ability to change how you want, think of it as an apology…er…REALITY IS AN ILLUSION! LIFE IS A HOLOGRAM! BUY GOLD BYE!"

(((((((((Okay safe now))))))))))

I was burning with embarrassment for days afterward. Sent her apology notes too.

Also, apparently the guy she was crushing on liked her back but preferred men, so he was thrilled by her/his new form(s) and the two had a long talk about getting together. She accepted being stuck as a male if it meant she could be with him (someone's desperate) so…happy ending?

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