109 Failed

The surgeon cleared me for normal things, with strict orders to let me finish healing before trying to lift anything heavy. I blush but ask him if sex is still restricted.

The surgeon smiles knowingly, but nods, "Just don't be rough and if it even starts to hurt at all, stop and wait a few a more days. I'd make sure with your OB/GYN though first, so you're protected from another pregnancy. Even if you were trying, you should wait a few months to finish healing before you get pregnant again."

With that bit of information we leave and Brian takes me home so he can get to the office for his afternoon appointments. Since I've been cleared, he won't have to miss anymore work, as I can drive myself.

I really couldn't ask for anything more from Brian anyways, he's been so ... *le sigh* ... perfect. I can feel the stars in my eyes at the thought of how I feel truly blessed to have him, he's amazing. Once I've laid back and rested my lower abdomen a bit, that was sore from sitting in the car, I get up and start looking for something to make for dinner. My phone goes off and I answer it,

"Hello? Sarina McNeal speaking."

"Rina! Did you forget about our meeting to finish the paperwork?"

It's John... and yes, yes I did forget.

"Oh shit. John, I'm so sorry. I actually ended up in the hospital later Saturday night. I had to get emergency surgery and have been recovering." I apologize.

"WHAT?!" John's shout has me pulling the phone from my ear. "What happened? Where are you now?" He sounds frantic and concerned.

"Calm down, I'm at home. I'm fine now. I..." Should I share that information with him? " had my appendix removed, it burst." That should be fine, right?

"Really? Oh my ... Rina... Thank god you're alright now. You are alright?" John asks in relief.

"Yes, I'm fine. I saw my surgeon earlier who cleared me for most activity. I just need to take it easy for a little while still." I inform him.

"Okay, the contracts can wait. It's the ones between us anyways to finalize the building agreement we made. I also wanted to ask you if you might be interested in remodeling another building I was looking at to purchase. I would offer you a percentage of the sales of each one. Just something to think about. It could make us both a lot of money." He offers.

"I'll think about it. Remember, I hired good contractors and an interior designer to help. I just picked the end results." I remind him. "I can give you their information right now, if you'd like?"

"Sure, go ahead and text me their numbers. I appreciate it, Rina. Do you need anything? Is Brian taking care of you?" His last question has me frowning.

"Of course he's been taking care of me. I was cleared today so he doesn't need to be here now." I say firmly.

John is quick to placate me. "I'm sorry, that came out wrong. I just meant to inquire if he was there now helping taking care of you is all." He sighs, "I'll come by and drop off the contracts, you can return them once you've read them and signed them. Would you like me to bring you anything before I drop them off?"

I make some neutral noises, as I open the door to the fridge and freezer, checking what we had for groceries. "Yeah, could you pick up some stir fry vegetables and noodles? I think I want to make chicken stir fry for dinner."

John chuckles, "Sure thing, Rina."

John brings the grocery items and contracts over in just an hour. He helps me fill up the pot of water for the noodles and grab the wok out from the cabinet. After cutting up the chicken, we sit at the dinning room table as I look over the contracts. I start feeling pain in my incision areas after a few minutes, so I suggest sitting in the living room. I carefully sit in my spot that has extra cushions to make getting up and down easier on me. John helped me lower down and I thanked him.

"How big is your incision?" John asks noticing me favoring the one side.

"Not big, but the laparoscopy required two incisions. So I feel the pull on two areas. Thank you." John hands the contracts over for me to continue looking at.

As I'm checking a few things, I glance up at him and then immediately drop my eyes back to the papers to ask, "So where is the building you're thinking about having me help out at?"

John takes a deep breath and grips his slacks by his knees, giving them a little tug to get comfortable. "Well I have two, one is strictly zoned commercial, but the other has been changed from commercial to residential. It's ten stories and is in a decent area over off Pacific Ave. It's an old hotel, but I was able to convince the city planners to change it to residential since there's a need for single room and two room apartments for long term and temporary business employee's. I've got some guys who'll be managing the place for me. I'll be offering one year, six months, and four month leases for the places. I need them to look high end but designed smartly with the budget I'm giving. Are you becoming intrigued?" He leans closer to me, smiling, hope sparkling in his eyes.

"What kind of percentage would you be offering on these apartments? What kind of price point will these be rented at? Would it just be the first rental of the rooms or would I be earning royalties for each time they're rented out?" I ask.

John chuckles, "I was thinking thirty percent if you're able to design them on budget to get thirty-four to six grand a month for the year long leases. Those would be a one time first rental payout. IF you want royalties, I'd be willing to offer..." He hums, "eight percent for ten years."

"What? Eight percent?" I gasp, slightly offended.

"What? That's an excellent offer, considering just fifteen of the apartments being rented at six grand a month, for twelve months, for ten years is close to what? Eight hundred and fifty grand. The sixty five other apartment at eighteen hundred a month for ten years would make you over a million!" He runs a hand through his hair, "I thought I was being generous with that number."

"That's if you get top dollar for them too. How would I know if they've been rented? The one time payment would equal out to how much then?" I ask.

If he wants me to help out, I want to know what I'm worth to it.

"The one time payment would be a little over seven hundred grand, Sarina. That's for all the properties. The ten year contract at eight percent would put you at if not above two million. My accountant didn't want me to offer you a ten year royalty contract, but I know you better than that. You're a damn good business woman and I made sure that I knew those numbers for you. So does this mean that you are interested?"

I sit there a moment pondering. That income could help me hire more people to help Art in the back, recreating my designs and I could just design and paint. I'd have more time for myself again, and possibly for starting a family with Brian....

That thought alone convinces me.

"I'm very interested, John." I smile at him. "I'll discuss it with Brian and you can send me the contract for the royalty agreement." I sign off on the contract that I had been reading over and hand it to John. "There you go, John."

He offers his hand to help me up and I take it, hissing at the pull I feel in my muscles. My stomach twinges in pain and I cry out, and start to fall back onto the couch, but John is quick to catch me. He has one arm under my thighs, the other behind my back, when the front door opens and Brian comes walking in.

He stops standing still looking at where John's hands are. Realizing how it may look, I stand up straighter and step away from John.

"Thank you for catching me, John. Hey honey, how was your day?" I ask Brian making my way to him, as he gives me a questioning gaze.

"Fine. Did you fall or something?"

I nod in response.

"What brings you here John?" Brian asks, his posture is stiff, turning from me to John, his jaw clenched as he takes off his jacket.

"Oh, I needed the last of the contracts signed. We were supposed to talk sooner but I just found out today that Rina's appendix burst. So I brought her the contract so she could take it easy while she still recovers. I'll be leaving now that I have what I needed." John gives Brian a curt nod of the head as he takes the contract and heads for the door. Just as he walks through it, he turns back and reminds me, "Let me know when I need to send over the contract, Rina."

He closes the door behind him and I wrap my arms around Brian's waist.

"How was your day, baby?" I ask him as he wraps an arm around me.

"It was fine." His body is still tense and I pull back to look into his face.

"What's wrong?" I ask, running my hands up his back to stroke his back soothingly.

"Why does he think your appendix burst?" His face is devoid of emotion, but his eyes tell me he's hurt and disappointed.

Taken aback, I stutter, "I .. I .. I just didn't ... want him... or anyone.. really..." the wound in my heart that I had been pregnant with OUR child and lost it splits back open, "to know... that..." I pull myself from his arms. Was he angry that I didn't want to tell people that I lost a baby? That my body didn't work right and let the baby grow in the wrong spot?

Feeling defensive and hurt, I cross my arms and step back further from him, "I don't have to tell anyone about my personal medical information that I don't want to. You of all people should understand that." I walk away and go to the bedroom, wanting to flop myself down and just cry now.

But the pain in my stomach as I walk reminds me not to do that. So instead, I carefully lay down, bunching pillows around me and shoving my face into one as I start to sob. I didn't want to lie, but at the same time, I didn't want everyone to know. I didn't want the pity like what I saw in Lirael's eyes when she caught me staring at Richie as he was feeding. That I could have had that too if my body just worked right. Women were made to have children, our bodies designed for it. Then why did mine not work right?

I didn't think before that I was ready for kids, but now that I know I had been pregnant... I feel like my chance was ripped from me. What if I ended up never being able to have kids? Would Brian still want to be with me?

I sob harder into the pillow, the pain from my stomach muscles moving reminding me how my body failed. How I failed.