CH 7: in the mental space

Staring silently at the old house across from me, I couldn't help but think that the last thing I expected to see when entering my mental space was my old house.

'Let's see, if it's like they say in the series and stuff, then my mental space must have something that has marked me in some way to be who I am, I guess.' - I thought, but looking at everything else in more detail.

I can only see white, besides the house everything else was blank.

'So my house and the space I've been in all these years have marked me?' - I thought, but finally shrugged, I've had enough discoveries for today, so without further ado I took a step forward and started walking towards the door.

Upon reaching the door, I raised my hand to open it, but before touching the doorknob my hand stopped, I hesitated for a moment to open it.

Honestly, I was a little nervous, I didn't think I would ever see this house again after dying.

And now I had doubts that made me wonder, what will I find in the house, will it be like my old house or will it be different.

'Well, if I want to know, I should go in instead of trying to guess' - I shook my head and sighed and without further ado I moved my hand and opened the door.

After entering, I started touring the house and I'm not going to lie, I don't know, I expected to find something more, different, but it was practically the same as I remember it.

Finally after my tour I arrived at my old room, upon entering the first thing I noticed was a photo that was on a table next to the bed.

I walked over to the photo and what I saw was my parents and I when I was a child and we were smiling happily.

This photo, you could say it's special to me, as it was the last photo my parents and I took before they died.

"Sigh" - I sighed and shook my head again, I left the photo on the table and left the house.

I stood again where I had first appeared looking in the direction of the house.

'So, since I'm supposed to be in my mental space now, that means I can do whatever I want here, right?' - I thought, then looking at the door I raised my hand as I tried to make the gesture with my hand to shake something, with the intention of making the door disappear.

But all emphasis on the fact that "I tried", when trying to do that with that intention it was as if a strong force was stopping me from doing it, not as if saying I couldn't, but as if I didn't have what it takes to do it.

But still using all my strength I managed to make the gesture and somehow after doing it I felt like I had done an extreme workout, I felt like I was short of breath and was soaked in sweat.

Impossible thing it's supposed to be because I'm in my mind, but apparently it can. So after calming my breathing a little I turned my attention to the door and guess what, there was a small mark as if someone had used a knife to mark it.

'...' - I didn't know what to think of that.

Maybe this house has more influence on me than I think?

Maybe, but still I want to get rid of the house, not for anything, I don't have an extremely traumatic event that makes me not want to see it, it's more that I even lived in this house after I was old enough to be able to live alone.

But now I live in another world and I don't exactly want to get stuck in the past no matter how significant it's supposed to be for me.

Thinking about what I could do next since it seems like I won't be able to remove it in a short time, I decided.

"Well, okay, then first I'll focus on organizing my memories" - I muttered, I'm supposed to after entering my mental space I should start arranging my memories, which will help me improve my memory and feel more free for not having my memories disorganized.

"Okay, I'll do that" - Nodding my head after deciding what I would do, I turned around and what I found was a space with different shades of white.

'Here I'm going to make the place where I'm going to arrange my memories' - I thought and with that in mind I started my work.

[6 months later]

Looking at the great library in front of me, I couldn't help but feel proud of my great masterpiece.

Previously in my previous life I worked as a bricklayer, I know the steps to make a solid construction and although I did not follow those steps to the letter, I imagined that I was doing them when creating the structure, which led to everything looking quite solid and so I realized that the more detailed and better my knowledge about what I want to do here, the more solid it will turn out.

And yes, if you ask, yes, it took me about 6 months just building this great library, although I also arranged some of my memories from my past life while creating it.

I have also been destroying small and medium-sized objects from my old house for these 6 months, that somehow made my control in this space stronger since I needed a lot of concentration to manage to eliminate something from that house.

But in doing so I could finally find where my memories were hidden, they were hidden in a bookcase that was in my room right in a book similar to my grimoire, each and every one of my memories, although very disorganized, I saw some and for a moment I was seeing myself as a child playing and from another I was a teenager watching anime.

So I took the book and started arranging my memories on shelves in the half-built library, so I was in the process of building the library, arranging memories and eliminating things from the house.

So in these 6 months I already had the library ready, some of my memories arranged and most of the old house empty.

It has been 6 productive months you could say just talking about what I've done in my mental space.

Another thing is that while I was arranging my memories, I could finally find some about the Mushoku Tensei novel, they are not complete, but they certainly helped me remember several things... Things like that I seem to have shown my magical ability a year before Rudeus.

If I felt like an idiot remembering that and I don't know what I would have done if somehow whoever came had not been Roxy and instead had been someone else, just thinking about it makes me see the bullet I had dodged just because if it was Roxy who accepted the job.

But well, a year more, a year less, it doesn't matter, I'm not going to worry about the implications that this may entail.

So those were the things I did these 6 months in my mental space, I have to say that I always came out very tired after doing all that.

So now I was thinking about taking a little break.

'Yes, I deserve a well-deserved rest, at least a break from everything I do for myself, since I doubt that Roxy or Paul will stop teaching me.' - So with that in mind I left the mental space and got comfortable in my bed ready to go to sleep.

Another thing is that I don't need to be in the lotus position to enter my mental space, I just need to be still and quiet to do so, although as I said I always come out very mentally tired from the mental space.

So, it didn't take long before I fell fast asleep.

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I hope you like the chapter and if you see any mistakes please let me know.