Chapter Twenty Two: Azazel

The problem with time travel is it is a lot harder than I make it look. I can't travel on numerical time, since time and consciousness are intertwined. So, the method in which I travel is on an individual's timeline. The problem with this is how vague it is. I cannot, for example, travel to October 21, 1998 because it is too exact and numbers are entirely subjective. The year 1998 isn't meaningful say, on Mercury, which orbits the sun at a different rate and years are measured differently. It's just a number and doesn't truly have any information in the universe. Instead, what I do to travel is use my ability to go back to someone's event (usually something traumatic but not always)—which may or may not have even happened so long as it shaped their character or personality. I'd need to know someone very well and have a lot of their permissions in order to be very precise. But, how well do you know someone?

This has always been the flaw in my ability to travel through time. I don't have a map, and the only maps I have are humans themselves. In order to get a 'map' of an individual, you have to know them, watch them and their family closely. In addition, the more I time travel and meddle the weaker the veil becomes between 'here' and 'there.'

More paranormal activity occurs around a weaker veil.

Demons, spirits, ghosts, you name it. It makes a mess to time travel.

I was once again at a loss as to what to do after I paid Wendy a visit in the past. I'm always left with all the answers but none of the benefit. The Devil has always been a symbol of knowledge but for what? Knowing doesn't make your life any easier or better. There is always more to know. I can time travel but nowhere to go except now.

I pulled myself away from Adremelech's monster. I would have to set Wendy aside for the moment. I held onto Sachiel and could feel the tattered, spiderweb tendrils of the Veil, breaking and snapping apart as I pulled myself through space and time. My pocket watch, a concentrated symbol of my time travel abilities, chimed musically and illuminated with white and golden light. Planets, stars, and clouds orbited the face of the watch, moving me through the dimensions and keeping my energy focused.

I wanted to go back to present day, present time. I wanted to get to know my new friend. I had no intention of eating him. Already he was perfumed with a low vibrational stink that couldn't be cleaned off: sulfur, rotten fish, and sewage.

It was hard to find a place. The universe is so crammed with life that everything has become noise. Meresin had the Void but that was too much silence, too far away. It was so drastically nothing that it was its own chaos. I wanted somewhere we couldn't be found. I wanted somewhere intolerable for Adramelech, who was bound to be looking for Sachiel eventually.

Adramelech likes it low and hot so I decided to go cold and high. Mountainous level high. Some 19 thousand feet above sea-level high in Tanzania. It was the first thing I thought of and I was pretty certain that my brother would never thinking of finding us on the top of Kilimanjaro.

I could already sense that Sachiel was feeling distorted and lost. He had no idea where we were.

"I have no idea where we are," said Sachiel stepping out of the portal. "Like, really really no idea. Are we even on Earth?" he wondered out loud, looking around at the deserted, alien landscape.

We stood at the summit. We were high enough that the white and gray clouds churned and bubbled below us. All around us was nothing but craggy, lifeless rocks and an endless bent, blue sky. It looked as if we stood at the very surface of the world. If we could feel cold then we both would have shivered. It looked cold and thin outside.

I didn't answer at first. I watched as Sachiel meandered around. There was an obvious, cleared trail to follow. Eventually, he discovered a tall wooden signpost. The signpost was weather beaten and faded. It definitely had seen better days. It was also definitely made for tourists, since all of the lettering was in English instead of the native Swahili.

"'Congratulations! You are now at Africa's highest point, Uhuru Peak of Tanzania. One of the world's largest volcanoes. World heritage and wonder of Africa'. Africa? First America and now Tanzania?" asked Sachiel.

"It was all I could think of. It's a safe place," I said, incredulously. "What, do you want back with Adremelech? He's going to eat you," I reminded him. "You're safe with me, dear Sachiel. I won't let you be lunch."

"But, I wanted to be lunch," answered Sachiel, bizarrely. "We made an agreement. I even drank his coffee--"

"Blood! You drank his blood!" I shouted at him on the mountaintop. "he just made it look and taste like coffee. But it wasn't, not if you actually looked closely. Don't you know anything?! Why are you so stupid?! Why are all the 'good-guys' so stupid?!!! Was this why you fell? Why did you fall? Were you kicked out?! Were you kicked out because you're so stupid? My God! Lord all mighty! I mean, Jesus Christ on a cracker, brother Sachiel!! I can't stand it! I really can't!! I can't stand how it is that you guys, the 'good-guys', walk around acting so naive all the time. Like, you are at least as old as I am, and you act like... you act like you don't know anything, ever!! Why is that?! Can you explain?! Can you please explain to me what is going on and why you are so... effortlessly dumb?!?!"

Sachiel calmly watched me as I went off on an insulting tangent. The look on his face indicated that he felt somewhat lost for a moment. He didn't seem indignant by my insults. It looked like he didn't even hear me. He just looked sad.

"No," muttered Sachiel, looking down from the point beside the signpost. He still looked like the typical western-art depicted angel. He wore a simple human suit with a beautiful, young face and curly hair. His forehead was knotted with worry. His eyes were huge and doe-like. He used to have golden, mop-curls. Now they were a bright, brick red spirals down his neck. His arms hung loose at his sides. His shoulders were slumped and defeated. "no, I'm not dumb. I'm just... it's just... just overwhelming. All of it. It's so different down here than what I expected. It is so different. It is just...." he took a long, slow breath as he seemed to search for a better descriptive word. "different," he sighed. "so... so different."

"I'm not sure what you mean," I said as I turned on him. I felt impatient. I had no idea what brother Sachiel was saying or why he was saying it.

"Well, being up here... reminds me," said Sachiel slowly. He turned and looked out over the mountaintop. Kilimanjaro is known as one of the seven sisters, the seven highest peaks on Earth. It wasn't the tallest, nor was it the lowest. Still, it was one of the most magical places in the universe. I could feel her ancient vibration rattle beneath my feet. She held old, powerful knowledge in her bones. I could feel how close we were to the Creator, but all I could hear was silence. I wondered if Sachiel could feel anything. Did he still have a connection to the Creator since he was only recently fallen?

"Reminds you of what?" I asked.

Sachiel turned and looked over his shoulder. With the majestic background and him being a literal angel, he looked exactly like a Renaissance painting.

"Before I was fallen?" he said. "It reminds me of before I was fallen. But not really. It is hard to explain when people ask you 'what's Heaven like?' because it isn't a place. It's a feeling. All of Heaven is just a feeling. It is just one moment. It is every grandmother's freshly baked cookie, every first kiss--"

"Yeah I get it," I snapped. "I was there. Once," I hissed.

"But here? Here, time is... it is more pulled apart. Take this mountain," he said, turning around and gesturing widely. I decided not to interrupt him and just let it out. He likely had PTSD from falling and had to vent it out. He was nearly just eaten by my brother, too. "I can see it and it is wonderful, truly a testament to the skill of God. But, it ends. I don't just get to experience it for all of eternity. It ends because we will have to leave, eventually. You just took me here for a moment," he said, adjusting his mind and processing everything. "just to talk to me."

"Just for a moment, yeah," I boredly replied. "I just wanted to know some stuff. And I thought this would be one of the safer places," I said, glancing around the boulders and stones. "but not completely safe because nothing is. But, most things know better than to bother me," I said, shrugging. I was the literal Satan and so I was seen as one of the larger fish in the spiritual sea. Though, it wasn't uncommon to be challenged, every fight takes some energy. I wouldn't put it past Adramelech attempting to eat me sometime, for example, just so he could be even larger and then truly 'claim' the throne of Hell. It was more annoying than anything.

"Oh, ok," he sighed, rubbing his forehead as if in a daze. I couldn't completely relate to him, since our circumstances of falling were so different. It was still something of a mystery why he was here at all. Quite frankly, he didn't look very well. Angels don't usually get 'sick,' but if we could, he would look very ill. I wondered if this was a portent of something else to come. I wondered if other angels had fallen, and we just didn't notice or some brother consumed them before I was ever notified.

I looked out again at the perfect Tanzanian sky, striped in striking blue, pink, gold, and crimson. Time was passing but I wasn't able to decipher how much. We could have been standing there for six hours, or maybe twelve. I couldn't even imagine what Sachiel was experiencing.

"Does God think about me?" I wondered out loud.

"What?" sniffed Sachiel. It was only now I had realized that he was crying.

"Does God think about me?" I asked again, a little louder. "like, since I'm the one... she... kicked out? Like, we separated and then all my brothers came after. For one reason or another."

"Oh," said Sachiel, as if figuring out what I asked. It took him a minute. "no, never," he said, licking his human-like lips. "He, she... the Creator never mentions you, never. Never by name."

"No?" I asked pointedly. "Never?" I raised a brow. I wondered if he was lying since lying was a thing he could do now. "What about the other brothers?"

"Oh, yes," he exhaled. He sounded pretty sincere. He still looked drugged and thus I had to take him at his word. He was too incapacitated to lie. "that's what I was remembering. He does mention the Devil, frequently. Just not you."

"Just not me?!" I asked, repeating. I felt outraged.

"Yeah, he talks about Adramelech a lot. A lot—a lot. He doesn't like his machine. He won't even speak of money. He funnels all the prayers and wishes he receives about money strait into the shredding black hole. He won't talk of it. He won't hear of it. If it is a human praying or wanting money... poof-- right into the shitter."

"Shitter?" I sneered, as if hearing a little brother's first swear. I thought it was funny.

"Yeah, hates Adramelech's machine. But, not Adramelech himself. Like, I remember hearing a conversation once. A higher ranking angel, of course, but the conversation wasn't private. They were asking if the Lord still loved the Devil. Of course he said yes, and that the fallen brothers were immediately forgiven. Even the worst of them, such as Adramelech who uses war to perpetuate suffering-- filtered all through his money machine. But, uhm... nobody... nobody mentioned you."

"Nobody mentioned me?! Nobody mentioned me?!" I shouted. I couldn't help it. "I'm the reason they're there! I'm the reason they're fallen! I'm the first, the Morningstar! I'm Lucifer-- even though that isn't my name!" I cried. "Don't they get that?! Don't you get that?! I'm pride! I wouldn't bow down to humanity! I'm the first!! Oh!!!!!" I got the irony. But even through the irony, it hurt my feelings. I felt justified for my emotions. It just wasn't fair.

"I think the reason was... the Lord didn't feel mad at you," interrupted Sachiel through my shouting. "Like, I know you quit. I think he knows you quit. You don't really do anything bad anymore. Hell is all Adramelech and his machine now. You shepherd people to the other side, that's it. You quit and then people started to believe that you don't even exist anymore. So... I think you did a good job," said Sachiel in an attempt to comfort me.

I knew we were standing on the equator. We were on a divide between the northern world and the southern world, the above and the below. Kilimanjaro is a special place. It was also the world's largest free standing peak, meaning it wasn't a part of a mountain ridge. That is because it was formed by three volcanic cones, and three was always a special number to me. It is the magic code word to enact magic itself. It was like pressing a keyed sequence to open a portal. It was telling the Creator that you wanted to make something, to do something-- and it could be good or bad.

Kilimanjaro also isn't dead. It is just sleeping. I could feel her deep sentience beneath the rock and sand. It was an easy, thin place that allowed us to easily travel wherever we wanted to go. I wanted to leave. I didn't want to talk anymore. After hearing Sachiel say that the Creator didn't mention me, didn't even think of me, the fun was all over. I felt as if the mountain sucked away all of my will to live. I just wanted to be somewhere else, I didn't want to be in such a high vibrational place close to God. If the Lord didn't think of me, then I certainly didn't want to think of her.

"So, how do I get down?" asked Sachiel, peering down the mountain's summit. He looked at the city of clouds floating along the thin atmosphere. I could tell what he was asking, even if he said it stupidly. He was still disorientated by linear time. Just the idea of time being slow and energy vibrating in sequential order was making him nauseous. We sat upon the precipice of reality, just waiting for the action to happen.

"I'll help you out," I said, approaching him. Admittedly, I was not in the best humor. I was feeling prickly and vindictive. I imagined myself drowning child-Wendy- that's the mood I was in. I wanted to take my frustrations out on someone. I was feeling selfish and sorry for myself. I smiled as I spoke to him. He smiled right back.

"I'll open you a portal!" I said excitedly, as if talking to a dog. He tipped his head curiously, like a dog. I rolled up the sleeves to my brown suit (I don't like wearing the typical-toga style outfits when appearing human. Sachiel looked like a child in a diaper to me in his basic angel-human avatar.) Then, I waggled my fingers and opened the fabric of space and time. There weren't any humans around to witness the paranormal event. Thus, it was easier to manifest the magic. Beside him a portal appeared, a ripping vortex convexting all of space and time into a hole. It was a hole which ripped open directly to Adramelech's front door. If the puppy wanted home so badly, I intended to simply lead him there. I certainly didn't want him to pee on my leg.

Sachiel stood and immediately took the bait. His sadness appeared to have melted away.

"Great! Where does this go?" he asked, standing directly in front of the portal like a bull's eye. Without saying a word, I lifted my foot and booted him into the portal. I wanted to say something pithy, like 'home!' but I also thought of exclaiming 'to Hell!' because it was true. I wound up saying nothing, and simply grimaced when I saw the surprise in his eyes.