After the modeling contract I signed with D-Young skin care ended I had to focus on an up coming project.
Seoul Kings was another TV series that I was staring in as the Male Lead.
I have to give my all for it to be nominated for The Blue dragon film awards and The Grand.
"Stay 100% focused" they told me on set.
It's wasn't what I wanted, moving to fast and not having time for myself; it was what the company needed, more contract means more money, recognition, fame, and it's not all that bad.
"Seoul Kings" was meant to be the big next thing even more than Squid Game and I love Squid Game.
But there was a problem, a big one; staring with my Ex's girl wasn't a thing for me after how we ended it.
I don't hold grudges or hate her, but she was one of the reason I hit rock bottom in my song writing care at some point.
She broke me and the trust I had for her and I couldn't forgive her for the longest time but some how my biggest problem wasn't about how we ended but how do I explain to my now girlfriend about not loving kissing her in a movie I didn't write? She's the Female Lead.
I don't want her to think that I still like her, cause I know I don't and I really what Fedora in my life.
And am starring along side Lee Byung-hun ; Lee Byung- hun , who doesn't what to star in the same movie as him.....his a legend and a good one.
"Soo Yeon!" Agent Kim called out to me as the makeup artist paid attention to my appearance "We have to go to the cast meeting now and we are ten minutes last already" he told me as he got my luggages ready to live.
We arrived at the reading room with all the cast present and interacting with each other; my sudden appearance to the scene and the fact that I was late made it feel like I was making dramatic entrance, wanting people to notice, but far from it, I was just hungry and I don't like skipping breakfast.
Yang Da-Som! I spotted her among the now sitting cast. She looks.....flashy as always, the real attention seeker, always wanted people to notice her and what she does.
At first that's what drew her to me, the fact that she was into I was wearing at that time and how she describe the make me laugh at that time.
I thought she was weird and goofy and not what I expected an Idol should be like, she was something like I couldn't describe at that moment and I was drawn to that something.
But it's all over now and I like who I am with the present woman in my life; the truth was I didn't think I and Da-Som wasn't going to last long anyways, she.... she loves attention and I couldn't give it to me but I hope I don't have the same problems with my Sun.
"Soo Yeon! Mr Yeong Soo Yeon" I had a voice call me back to reality.
They all stared at me intensely as I faked a polite smile. I was just a bit nervous, I told them especially I knowing I would be working with the best movie star of all time.
They laughed at how sincere I spoke and how my expression showed my sincerity and truthful I was a bit nervous not just about meeting Lee Byung-hun and playing his son and heir to his company but the fact that I told Fedora that we would watch it together was it premiere's.....I must be mad.
As the reading went on I noticed Yang Da-Som smiling at me but I waved it off as though I never noticed; after the reading ended and my manager went to get the car ready for us to leave, she worked up to me.
I was surprised by her sudden appearance, even when we broke up she never came to me to explain why she did what did or even dated to lie to me just.....so, what does this mean?
"What's the meaning of this?" I asked her as she blocked my path several time I tried to live.
"Just wondering" she responded
"Just wondering? I have to go if you don't have anything thing useful to say, please and respectfully, leave my presence" I told her as I tried to go but she blocked me again
"So I heard you've been writing songs again?" she asked
"And what's it to you if I do?" okay, what's her angle? "You thought I would stay broken after what you did to me, after buried the truth I had towards you?"
She looked sad and down when I spoke those words to her but the truth was at that moment when she broke my heart I was sure I wasn't going to forgive her for what she did anytime soon.
The fact she sold my secrets to my enemies and made me look like an imposter, a fake in the music industry, that it took time for me to recover was something I couldn't bear them.
"What do you want?" I asked her again as she looked at me with a sad eyes
"I'm sorry about what happened between us, I didn't mean for those things to happen to you or your career, am I'm very sorry" I apologize sincerely, and her gave away how sorry she was.
"I went to Seong Dae-jung because I thought he understood me, because he was just like me and I, I wanted someone to talk to about what was happening to me as a Trainee, I needed someone to talk to and you weren't there"
I knew it was hard for her and the fact she wasn't like other Kpop idols made her stand out, a panda like round face and a body that wasn't normal for the company and the picture the display as A Kpop female group.
She always told me how her manger made her lose weight and eat lesser than her other team mate so she could meet the body standard, so she could have the perfect body; surgeries she never thought she needed but did when she entered the industry.
She always said I had it easy to compare others for having parents who owned the music industry and would do anything so their child could reach to the highest level of his career, she said I was lucky to be who I am.
But I never asked to be born this way, or even..... because of who my parents were, I never got the opportunity to have a normal life, I couldn't make friends the normal way, they either wanted me for my name, money or because of what the could gain, everyone around me wanted something, they wanted to meet my father, they wanted the fame and influence he carries.
"He listened to me when you didn't but I promise that wasn't an excuse; I knew you wouldn't want to see me after what happened" she told me as tears began to fell her eyes.
"You gave him my songs, the ones I wrote for you; the ones I wrote for my deceased mother, I...I never wanted to release any of them, and hearing him play them, hearing him sing those lyrics was....." I told her as drops of tears began to follow endlessly
I tried walking away but she head my hands
" I promise, I never tried to betray you, those songs, he took them from my phone and when I found out I broke off all ties with him, cause the truth was I loved you to much and the days I spent with you were the happiest day of my life. I'm really sorry "
At the back of my mind I always kinda knew she wouldn't betray me like that but I was to hurt and now the girl in front of me seems more hurt than I was, because she felt I wouldn't forgive her for a crimes and also to carry that burden around for years unable to apologize or explain her own part of the story.
I felt sorry for her and I didn't meet her again so I could remain her of a faults or mistakes, as though my body, against my own well pulled her in for a tight hug; any one who saw this would think we were a couple and I don't want to cause any problems for the director and the cast if a photojournalist saw us hugging.
I told her I forgave her as she repeatedly asked for my Kakao Talk account.
I was really glad we broke down the ice before the shooting commenced.