webnovel

I'm a Pastor, what the hell is an Acute Gastroenteritis Outbreak Spell?!

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn't help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire. Firstly, what in the world is the "Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis" spell? And don't even get me started on the "Osteoporosis" spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like "Blood Burn," "Gradual Freeze," and "Mental Chaos." Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities? Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn't help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield "Doomstorm" and "Ice Age," swordsmen boast "Sword Rain: Homecoming" and "Wind-Cutter Slash," while archers showcase "Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars" and "Storm Arrow." Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named "Cancer Cell Proliferation," "T-Virus Infection," and "Rabies Outbreak." In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, "Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!" Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, "Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don't know!" Even a boss character confesses, "Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!"

Yiqian Qingdai · 游戏
分數不夠
601 Chs

Chapter 22: Trial Instance? A Life-and-Death Friendship!

As soon as the mute was lifted, the whole chat group exploded.

"Holy shit! Instance trial? The school is too damn good, they managed to get this?"

"Are you dumb? Didn't you see the principal say it was thanks to Yao Zhixue? A nine-star professionist!"

"Trial instance, I wonder which one it is?"

"Trial instance, only five people can enter each time, recruiting members quickly, I'm a four-star beast tamer and I've tamed two wolf dogs, I can take on reconnaissance and assist in attack tasks!"

"Me, me, me, I'm a three-star bowman, my skill is triple shot, any big shots willing to take me in?"

"Damn, I'm a life professionist, what should I do?"

"@Student Yao Zhixue, can you take me with you?"

"Trash professionist, get lost! You think you're worthy of teaming up with Yao Zhixue?"

In the chat group, Liang Feifan from class two suddenly sent out a series of messages.

"In the entire twelfth grade, Yao Zhixue and I are the only high-tier professionists, we should team up! That's the best choice!"

"In fact, there's a chance we could even complete the nightmare instance, hahaha....."

Upon hearing what Liang Feifan said, none of the other professionists argued against him.

Several students who sided with Liang Feifan also left messages.

"Brother Fan's right, in the entire twelfth grade, only Brother Fan is worthy of teaming up with Yao Zhixue!"

"Exactly, all of you regular professionists should forget about it!"

"@Student Yao Zhixue, what do you think?"

"A seven-star Dark Knight + a nine-star professionist, plus a six-star Flame Mage from class three, the five-star dual blade wielder Zhao Yeping, and the four-star 'Crimson Ritualist' Lin Jianyue. This team could definitely be the strongest at our school!"

"Oh shit! Such an extravagant profession, this team could even challenge the Hell difficulty instance!"

"Bullshit! Only professionists below LV5 are allowed into the trial instance! For over 300 years, only a few legendary nine-star professionists have successfully challenged a Hell difficulty trial instance!"

"True, wonder which trial instance we have this time?"

"Barren Plains? Dark Forest? Or is it Labyrinth Den? Skeleton Mine?"

"Don't know...."

"@Student Yao Zhixue, did you see my message?"

"@Student Yao Zhixue, in the entire twelfth grade, only we're worthy to team up with you..."

In the chat group, Liang Feifan tagged Yao Zhixue several times, but Yao Zhixue didn't respond with even a single word.

Inside a luxurious villa, Liang Feifan watched the chat box on his computer screen and subconsciously clenched his fist.

"Reply! Damn it!"

"Yao Zhixue, respond to me!"

"With so many students...."

"In the entire twelfth grade, I'm the only one deserving of you..."

"Damn..."

After waiting for several minutes, there was still no response from Yao Zhixue.

And some in the group started making sarcastic comments.

"Where's she? Where's Yao Zhixue?"

"Why isn't she responding?"

"Maybe she's asleep?"

"It's only eight o'clock, who would be asleep now..."

"Could it be... she rejected it."

"Hehehehe...."

Enraged, Liang Feifan was about to lose his temper but managed to hold it back and quickly started typing in the group.

"@Private chat, right? OK, I'm coming right away."

Leaving behind a group of confused and guessing classmates, Liang Feifan hastily clicked on Yao Zhixue's profile to add her as a friend.

However, the message came back quickly.

"The other party has rejected your friend request..."

"Fuck!"

"She's online, but goddammit she's ignoring me!"

An outright slap in the face!

Liang Feifan flew into a sudden rage and smashed everything on his desk, including his computer and cup, into pieces.

"Beep beep beep...."

A new message arrived on his phone.

Yang Lie: "Boss, has Yao Zhixue agreed to join us?"

Liang Feifan's lips twitched as he wrote in return: "No, Yao Zhixue said she's going to take on a nightmare-level challenge on her own. She'll join us on the next quest."

Yang Lie: "Taking on a nightmare quest solo? Damn, that's impressive. You're pretty great yourself, Boss, for being able to recruit someone like Yao Zhixue!"

Liang Feifan: "Heh heh heh, well of course. Who do you think I am?"

"Seven-star professional magic swordsman, only someone like me is worthy of Yao Zhixue!"

Yang Lie: "But we still need one more person in our group of four. Who should we get?"

Liang Feifan paused as if he'd just remembered something: "Shit! That Knight of Earth, Chen Xiao, rejected us, as did that guy from their class, Zheng Cheng!"

"Damn it! They made me lose face in front of the whole school, I won't let them off the hook this time!"

"Don't worry about the new member, with our current strength, do you think we can't recruit someone?"

Yang Lie: "Okay then. But we better get an MT.

Liang Feifan: "I know."

...

As all the freshman professionists scrambled to find team members, Zheng Cheng received a message from Chen Xiao.

"Brother Cheng! Where have you been lately? How about teaming up for this trial?"

Zheng Cheng: "Invite me to join? Aren't you afraid I'll slow you guys down?"

Chen Xiao: "What's there to be scared of! We have me, Cai Kun, Zhang Ping'an and you—four people already, we just need one more person."

Zheng Cheng: "Cai Kun? Who's that."

Chen Xiao: "That's Cai Kun, who hangs around with me all the time. He's sort of half an MT. For the fifth member, we need a main battle professionist."

Chen Xiao: "We're not aiming too high. As long as we can beat the advanced-level quest, it will be enough."

Zheng Cheng considered for a moment before writing: "Well, then, okay. I'll see you at school the day after tomorrow."

Chen Xiao: "Okay, see you then."

Once he closed the chat box, Zheng Cheng took out the cooked glands of the Pusque snake.

"A trial quest, huh? Teaming up with Chen Xiao...I wonder what kind of quest it will be."

"Sss...That's so bitter!"

Upon tasting the Pusque snake glands, Zheng Cheng involuntarily grimaced.

These snake glands were unbearably bitter!

However, to boost his four-dimensional attributes, he had to stomach them!

After downing nine Pusque snake glands, his spirit attribute points immediately increased by 9, reaching a total of 20!

"20 points in spirit attributes, plus the trial quest the day after tomorrow..."

Meanwhile,

Chen Xiao also put down his phone, and Cai Kun who was nearby, immediately came over.

"Hey Chen Xiao, are you really going to take Zheng Cheng with us?"

"He's only a three-star priest, and his skill is only to give people diarrhea, not a healing skill."

"Not sure if it would work on the creatures in the quest, right?"

"We're already lacking a main battle professionist, it's not a good idea to take him with us. Don't you agree, Ping'an?"

Zhang Ping'an also chimed in: "Yeah, Chen Xiao, I know you're close with Zheng Cheng, but this is a trial quest..."

"You guys don't get it."

Chen Xiao shook his head: "Zheng Cheng and I shared life-and-death experiences. When we first started high school, we went swimming in the Wei River. I almost drowned, but he saved my life."

"From that moment on, I considered him my brother."

"Even if we've now become professionists and he's only a three-star priest, I'll still keep him in the team!"

"If you guys are not okay with it, I won't force it."

"Well..."

Cai Kun and Zhang Ping'an looked at each other, then shrugged: "Alright then, these few days we've worked well together, and without you, I don't know who else to team up with."

"Let's just get him, worst comes to worst, we'll struggle a bit and take on the ordinary trial quest."

"An ordinary trial quest...that'll mean a huge loss in experience."

"What's there to fear!"

"Hahaha, with me, Brother Chicken here, I'm not afraid of any evil spirits!"

"Get lost! Call me Brother Kun!"

"No problem, Brother Chicken!"