Not a serious conversation

I'm gonna fix one little thing about the story. Dan is already fourteen at the beginning of the school year, so he should be in his fourth year, his birthday date hasn't changed.

It doesn't change a lot of things in my plans, but it's frustrating to see your own mistakes. I wrote this note at the beginning of the chapter so that no one will later ask in the comments why Flitwick says that Dan should be in the fourth year of study.

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Dan was sitting in Dumbledore's office in a chair that was too low for his legs. His knees were level with his chest, so he began to levitate the chair with his magic to get at least a little comfort. The round office was still full of funny sounds that followed their own musical notation. Dan wasn't sure, but he assumed that these sounds were somehow alerting Dumbledore of what was happening to the wards of the castle. Or in the castle.

Just as Dan thought, the old man called him out after what happened with Luna and the Weasley twins. What exactly the conversation would be about, Dan had no idea. Moreover, the old man wasn't in his office, and a rather large phoenix took his place behind the desk. Fawkes was his name, Dan remembered.

"So… You come here often?" He asked the bird.

Fawkes didn't even blink and let out a couple of soft chirps. He sounded too kind and calm for such a huge bird. Dan's only experience was with the Macaw and to be honest, that bird was a fucking asshole.

"I understand, I wouldn't sit in one place either if I was under the circumstances. Unfortunately, I need to study magic right now, because without it, I would be like without hands."

Fawkes tilted his head and chirped again.

"You think? Wouldn't it be more logical to first learn everything that ordinary wizards know, and only then research what kind of magic this body gave me?"

Fawkes didn't answer and just stared at Dan. Mantis climbed onto the teenage monster's shoulder and waved amiably at the phoenix, to which he received a silent nod. Dan looked between them and noticed that they were both staring at him now.

"What? I may have a lot of free time, but my head is already melting just from fourth-year Charms books. I can't practice Transfiguration without Minerva's supervision, Herbology is not my cup of tea, Astronomy is outdated, and making potions without experience or supervision is suicidal. How can I, along with that, also explore something completely unknown?"

The Phoenix spread its wings and swung its head around, pointing out hundreds of small enchanted items and dozens of major items. He sharply returned his gaze to Dan and disapprovingly thrilled.

"Do you think Albus can help me? The man holds two– three seats in the state and runs the school at the same time," he held up his hand to stop Fawkes from interrupting. "And even if he had time, he wouldn't be able to help me with Transfiguration, without a wand it simply doesn't work. This section of magic was developed after the popularization of wands. I cannot cast with my hands something that was created for wand casting."

"Indeed!" Flitwick said as he walked into Dumbledore's office, the old man himself followed right behind him. "There's been a lot of debate about whether it's possible to cast Transfiguration spells completely wandless, but in the end it all comes down to one thing, Transfiguration requires a precise tool, a wand, or a foci of any kind." Filius stopped next to Dan and looked at the levitating chair with interest. "I have to say, I have never seen a fourth-year student capable of wandless magic. If you were sorted, I would've given you points!"

Dan nodded, remembering the reason why the professors decided not to distribute it. At the end of each year, a list of the best students of the year from all Houses was automatically put on public display. Of course, given that Dan was very far behind in his magical schooling, would put him at the bottom of the list, but the mere appearance of an unfamiliar name on the list would be considered suspicious to a lot of people.

"Thank you, Professor Flitwick," Dan replied with a smile. As strong as his desire to call the half-goblin by his first name might be, that would simply be disrespectful. "I suspect I've been called in to report on the Lovegood situation?"

Dumbledore sank into his chair at the table, and Flitwick remained standing next to Dan, the little white-haired half-goblin still watching with interest the effect of the levitation spell on the chair. "Oh, you have nothing to worry about, my boy, don't be so stiff. Ms. Lovegood is safe and away from her… detractors." Flitwick shook his head in disappointment. "Due to an unusually large animosity towards Ms. Lovegood, it has been decided to move her to a room separate from the dorms, at least for a while."

Dan frowned. "Damn, that bad? How did things got so far?"

"It was a huge oversight on our part. A student at our school couldn't feel safe even in her own room." Dumbledore said, his face pensive. "Filius and I have decided to raise this issue at an emergency meeting of professors later this month." He didn't say that this meeting would include a discussion of additional protection for the school from Sirius Black.

"And Lovegood?" Dan brought the discussion back to the original path.

"Her roommates were major bullies, so we can't let her stay there unsupervised." Flitwick said and finally stopped staring at the chair. "We could have moved it a year earlier or later, even in the later years, but unfortunately with our investigation–" He sighed heavily and rubbed his long nose. "She won't feel accepted there, let's just say. Merlin knows how Miss Lovegood will feel if we move her from one aggressive environment to another."

"The insulation isn't much better." Dan grumbled.

Contrary to Dan's expectations, the professors smiled and Dumbledore pulled out a neatly folded piece of parchment of his lemon robes – literally, the thing was strewn with embroidered drawings of lemons – and handed it to the boy. Dan took it in confusion and blinked a couple of times, seeing the inscription [To: Umgubular Slashkilter].

He carefully unfolded the parchment and began to read.

[Hello, Umgubular Slashkilter!

I'm not sure when this letter will reach you, because the owls refuse to carry my messages to you, so I rely on the not very verified service of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Owls always deliver their packages to their recipients, but I'm not sure about the Headmaster, it's not his job after all. Unfortunately, there are no couriers at Hogwarts, which I consider a huge oversight.

I am writing to you to thank you for intervening in yet another very rude prank that my Housemates have decided to play on me. So please accept my thanks. I'll share some pudding with you the next time we meet!

With thanks.

Luna Pandora Lovegood.

P.S. I had to keep the letter short, Headmaster Dumbledore is a busy man and cannot wait at my door for long. I think he scares my dorm mates, but again, I'm not sure why.

P.P.S. Will you agree to an interview sometime in the future? My daddy will definitely want to hear how you escaped Minister Fudge's control.]

The professors patiently waited for him to finish reading and when Dan silently placed him on the table, they waited again for him to speak.

"... Read this and tell me what exactly is wrong with the contents of the letter." He spoke.

Flitwick raised an eyebrow, but did as the not-quite-student asked him to. When he had finished, the half-goblin frowned and handed the letter to Dumbledore, who also soon copied the Head of House's frown.

"She considers the school's lack of couriers a huge oversight, not our failure to notice bullying in the student ranks. She didn't expect punishment for her bullies– she doesn't know why her bullies would be scared after– after that. Miss Lovegood probably doesn't even consider this as a problem to solve…" Flitwick took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Who else at school thinks we can't be relied upon as an authority figure? Just what else are we missing out on?"

Dan didn't know the answer to that question, but he could make a guess based on those little bits of the original story from the books he'd heard from Katya. Snape himself was a huge problem, the curse on DADA teaching position was the second biggest problem – it literally killed some professors in the past. But the problem that urgently needed to be addressed was the lack of staff in the school. The entire Hogwarts staff numbered a little less than twenty people – not counting elves and ghosts. So few people simply couldn't effectively control a castle full of hyperactive teenagers.

"May I propose something?" Dan asked and Dumbledore nodded. "You need more staff to keep an eye on the students. Living portraits, ghosts and elves can only watch and report emergencies to professors, leaving them to deal with any mess. With more people with the power to put students in their place, it will be easier to prevent something," he pointed to the piece of parchment, that was still in Headmaster's hands, "like that." Dan took the letter back – still amazed at how long his arms were now – and tucked it into his pants pocket.

The Headmaster sighed as he popped the lemon sherbet in a bowl on his desk into his mouth. "We've already tried to hire more professors and caretakers in the past. The Board of Goveners rejected our ideas, saying we don't have the budget for such things. The Ministry sponsors quite a large part of Hogwarts, even if we're partially autonomous, we can't do anything so important without their consultation through the same Board."

It wasn't until Dumbledore had finished speaking that he realized that the person he was talking to was not his old friend Arwen, but a teenager just like his students. He usually didn't give so many details and surprised himself just how open he was with young Khromov.

Dan, meanwhile, was thinking rather hard on the current issue. The solution teased him as it appeared in the back of his mind, but he couldn't grasp the thought that had already slipped away. Scratching his chin, he stood up from the chair and it slowly sank to the ground with a soft thud. Dan began pacing back and forth across the office until his eyes fell on the Sorting Hat and the idea shot back into his mind like a bullet.

The Sorting Hat was old and battered, with centuries of dust stuck to the brown leather. It was strange to see an ancient artifact in such a bad state, but even the strongest of magics could be destroyed by time.

"Sorting Hat, are you up for a little talk?"

The hat twitched, and the outlines of eyes and a wide mouth slowly formed on it. "Ehuh…? Is it time for the Sorting Ceremony already? You woke me up much earlier than usual."

The Hat's voice sounded as old as Hogwarts, with an accent Dan couldn't quite place. "No, now I woke you up for a couple of little questions, if you don't mind."

"Ho ho, I already got someone like you a year ago. Do you want to know which House you would go to, if you were given the opportunity?"

Dan stopped, but then shook his head, it wasn't as important as his other questions. "Maybe later. Do you know if the Founders made any agreements with the state of their time? Wizard's Council, I believe."

The hat thought for a moment, but then shook from side to side. "I was created after the construction of Hogwarts was completed. Before that, I was just Godric's hat and had no self-awareness. All transactions and agreements were already completed by the time I was… born, for the lack of a better term." The Hat froze for another moment and opened its mouth again. "Although all records of the agreements were kept in Lady Rowena's library, perhaps you'll find what you're looking for there."

Dan nodded and turned around, only to meet two extremely surprised old professors.

In their memory, the Hat didn't often talk about the time of the Founders, even with past Headmasters of Hogwarts. Even about trivial things. Hearing it so freely give answers to a simple student who was turned down by Sorting was simply shocking.

Dumbledore cleared his throat, collecting his thoughts. "Well, we'll probably need to find Rowena's library in the near future, but for now we need to talk about something else." The old wizard lost the sparkle in his eyes and Dan felt a change in the atmosphere. Now both Professors have become serious. "We should discuss how you could have solved that little problem with the Weasley twins better."