Chapter 6: Remus Tells His Tale

They had a great time with pizza and the movies. When they were headed back to the pub, Harry ducked into the alley they used to change. He turned into Harriet and Remus stared. He turned to Sirius and pointed an accusing finger. "That was you," he all but shouted. "You were that woman."

Harry doubled over laughing at the indignant look on the man's face. He had never seen someone look so flustered over having had a friend prank them before. Then again, he had never seen a prank the likes of Sirius's before.

"Yeah," Sirius said, laughing his arse off. "You should have seen your face," he said, bending over trying to catch his breath. "I never knew you were against aggressive women," he wheezed. "It was too funny," he continued.

"Why did you do that?" Remus asked Sirius, but he was staring at Harry in wonder, not sure how the kid had changed himself into a girl and changed his scent and magical signature. He didn't look or smell like Harry Potter anymore.

"You left Harry with those abusive arseholes," Sirius said, sobering up. He was still very upset over that.

"I told you in my letters, that I had no choice. I had no idea where he was," Remus said with an exasperated sigh. "Dumbledore wouldn't tell me anything." It was an argument they had been having since Sirius sent his first letter. "I tried every year, especially around his birthday. I even tried sending owls. They all came back unopened. I never gave up." He had looked everywhere he could think of, but he didn't know where in the muggle world the child was. "I even sniffed around a few schools, until I got busted for being a perv." That had taken a bit of fast-talking to get out of. "The United Kingdom is a big place. I stuck with Britain, but it's still a huge area," he finished, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"You know how to use a phonebook," Sirius said, looking at the man like he was disappointed with him.

"I didn't know her married name," the werewolf said, throwing his hands in the air. "I told you this," he added, once more in exasperation. Sirius was just so angry, he wasn't listening. "I tried every Petunia in the book. I don't know her husband's first name," he said, this time in anger.

"Oh," Sirius said, looking confused for a moment. "I thought you were at the wedding," he added, thinking hard about that particular fiasco. Dursley had made Lily cry by calling her and her party freaks, and James had retaliated with a prank to the bridal party. It had been a bad day for both parties. "I'm sure I remember you being there."

"No, I was on a mission for the Order that week," Remus stated with an almost growl. He had heard what had happened at that wedding and he was glad he hadn't been there. He might had let Moony free, just to kill the groom. "Azkaban must have done a number on your memories," he added thoughtfully.

"Wait, my mum was at Aunt Petunia's wedding?" Harry asked from where he was leaning against a wall. "I thought they hadn't been speaking to one another since mum got accepted to Hogwarts," he added, thinking of what his aunt had said when Hagrid had come to pick him up.

"Yeah, your aunt wanted her to be there for some reason. She said she was trying to make up for something or other, or that their mum wanted them to make up. But her husband was an arsehole and ruined it for everyone. Petunia blamed it on Lily and James, but it was all Vernon," Sirius said, rubbing his neck, recalling that day in fuzzy detail.

"Oh, sounds about right," Harry said, knowing his uncle. "So, you knew my parents," he directed at Remus.

"Yeah, I and this guy used to hang out with your dad and the traitor," the scarred man said, pointing to Sirius.

"We were a group of pranksters," Sirius added fondly, his eyes going glassy as he remembered the good old days. "Went by the name of the Marauders."

"Sometimes we went a bit too far," Remus said, not wanting to glorify those days for the kid. Unlike Sirius, who never knew where the boundaries were. He was pretty sure the man still didn't know those limits.

"Oh," Harry said, thinking on that for a moment. He shrugged; kids did stupid things. Most grew out of it. "Why didn't you take me in?" he wanted to know.

"Besides all the reasons you just heard, I'm a werewolf," the man said, looking down at the cracked pavement.

"Really?" Harry said with excitement in his voice. "I've never met a werewolf before. Do you only turn one night or three?" he asked, having never been sure about that particular trait.

"Only one," the flabbergasted man said, never having been asked that question before.

"Oh, okay. I had wondered. So, if you only turn one night every twenty-eight days, then why can't you take care of me?" he asked, not sure what the problem was.

"It's illegal," Sirius said, shaking his head at the answer. He didn't agree with the law.

"Why?"

"Because the world is full of bigots," Sirius answered again.

"Oh, I get that. That's too bad. But if you knew that, then why are you mad at him?" Harry wanted to know. He was confused now.

"He could have at least checked on you, or threatened the Dursleys into behaving," Sirius said, all but growling at his friend.

"I've given my reasons," Remus said, holding up his hands in an 'I give up' manner.

"They are good reasons," Harry said in the man's defense.

"I know," Sirius said, shoulders slumping. "I just want to be mad at someone. Sorry, Remus. I'm just so angry."

"I forgive you. I'm angry too," the werewolf said, putting his hand on the ex-prisoner's shoulder.

"Then both of you be mad at who put me there," Harry said, knowing the Dursleys were no longer a problem.

"Sounds about right," Sirius said, knowing he was going to have words with Dumbledore. Remus nodded along, he had already had words with Dumbledore, but maybe a few more were necessary.

"I want to check out of this place. Do you have somewhere we can stay?" Harry asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, but I don't know what kind of shape it will be in," Sirius said, thinking of his old family home. "My mum died a few years back. It's been empty a while."

"I have stupidly powerful magic," Harry said, looking to Remus and waving his hand inconspicuously. He wouldn't be able to tell anyone about Harry's magic. He didn't know the man well enough to trust him with that kind of news.

"There is that," Sirius agreed. "Woman me up, and I'll pretend to be your mum coming to get you," he said, holding his arms out in an 'I'm ready' manner.

Harry waved his hand and made Serena appear.

"I'm still mad that you played that prank on me," Remus said, looking at his friend in the woman form.

"I look hot like this," Sirius said, holding a sexy pose. "You're just jealous that you don't look this hot," he added, pushing up his breasts with his arms.

"Quit being a perv, you have a teen-age boy here," Remus said, pointing to Harry. "Do you have your man bits?" he wanted to know. "Because you smell like a woman."

"Do I really?" Sirius asked, bewildered. He knew that he felt like a woman, but to smell like one, that was something to look into.

"Yes, so does Harry," the werewolf pointed out, nodding in the 'girl's' direction.

"That is interesting," Sirius said, rubbing his chin in thought. "Something we're going to have to examine," he added, then looked at Harry. "But later. Can you change Remus to look like someone else? He can be an uncle or something," he said, nodding to the werewolf.

Harry nodded and waved his hand and Remus's hair and eyes changed to darker colors. His face took on a longer look, and his clothes were repaired and cleaner. He was about four inches taller and had a few pounds more weight. He also didn't smell like himself. Internally, he wondered if Harry could cure him. He was scared to ask.

"I still look hotter than you," Sirius teased, going up to Remus and ruffling his hair.

Remus batted his hand away and looked at Harry with a grin. He didn't care that the teen didn't make him look like an Adonis. He was quite content just looking different. They all looked at each other and the three of them walked into the pub.

Sirius walked up to the bar and batted his eyelashes. "Hello, Tom," he said, leaning forward a bit, showing his impressive cleavage. "I hear you have been taking good care of my Harriet. I wanted to thank you for that," he said sweetly.

"You are more than welcome," the older man said, blushing a bit. He continued to polish the same clean spot on the bar top. "She's a darling girl," he added, winking to the woman.

"That she is," Sirius agreed, ruffling Harry's hair. "Are there any outstanding charges?" he asked Tom, reaching for his gold pouch. He knew that Harry had paid for five days, and they had stayed seven.

"She did stay two extra nights than she paid for," the barman said, pulling out his ledger. "That'll be two galleons." He turned the ledger around so 'she' could see the bill.

Sirius pulled out the two galleons and ten sickles and put them on the bar. "Keep the change, Tom, dear. Come, Harriet, let's get your things," he said, and made his way to the stairs.

Remus opted to stay down in the bar as the two 'women' packed Harry's stuff. It didn't take them long and soon they were on their way to Grimmuald Place.

Little did they know they missed Dumbledore by a scant few minutes.

Hphphp

"Tom, my boy," the old man with the flowing white beard and hair said, "I heard Harry Potter and Sirius Black were in here today." He took a seat at the bar. His bones were tired with age, and he had been on his feet all day. Tirelessly looking for Harry Potter. He'd been chasing rumors all week. This had been the first solid sighting that had been had.

"They came through this morning and did some shopping. They came back through to go to muggle London about three hours ago, and I've not seen them since," Tom dutifully reported. He saw no reason not to inform the headmaster.

"Oh dear, I must have just missed them," Albus said, running his hand down his impressive beard. "If you see them again, can you please let me know right away," he requested, knowing the man would.

"Sure, Headmaster, I can do that," Tom said, putting a cup of Earl Grey tea in front of his old friend.

"Thank you, Tom. For both the tea and the information," Dumbledore stated, picking up the cup and taking a sip. He was miffed that he had missed the duo. He had been trying to corner them for a week now. He had only learned that the Dursleys had been missing when Sirius had been found innocent. He had been hoping to keep them apart, but Tom just confirmed they were together. Now, he was going to have to do damage control.

He did wonder if they were at Sirius's old family home. He had been checking there all week, but to no avail. He had checked in on Remus, and the man said that Sirius had written him, but was angry with him over the matter of Harry. He didn't think those two would be getting together soon. He was out of leads at the moment, and that was frustrating. He hated being frustrated.

Hphphp

Sirius called the Knight Bus instead of apparating there. Once they got off the bus, they all stood outside the rundown townhouse. Harry discreetly waved his hand and changed them all back into themselves. There was no reason for them to be someone else. Hopefully, no one was watching them from a window, but it was late enough that most were watching the evening news.

"This place looks like it's seen better days," Harry said, looking at the dilapidated frame of the old house. the ones around it looked worn, but this one looked haunted. The paint was peeling off, and the shutters were all hanging on by a thread and wishful thinking. He wasn't sure if a strong wind would blow it down, but it would be a close thing.

"Yeah, I wonder what happened to the house elf?" Sirius said, secretly hoping the damn thing was dead. He hated that blasted elf. There were no good memories of it and the dementors made sure that he remembered all the bad ones.

"You have a house elf?" Harry asked, wondering whatever happened to Dobby. Maybe he should call the little guy. Dobby would love to clean this place. He'd ask Sirius if he could call his friend once they were inside.

"Yeah, Kreacher, he's a deplorable creature," the dogman said, laughing at his own pun.

"Bad history?" Harry asked, knowingly. He recognized the tone. He used the same when he talked about Dudley.

"Yeah," was all his godfather said, not wanting to burden the boy with his bad history. He'd already done that enough. "Let's get this over with," he said, making his way to the door. He placed his hand on the knob and said, "Sirius Black of the House of Black. I demand admission."

The knob turned and the door creaked open. It sounded like something one would hear in a horror movie, which went with the theme of the house so far. Sirius pushed the door all the way open, and the hallway was just as ominous as the rest of the house. Cobwebs hung everywhere, and the scones for the gaslights were tarnished. The wallpaper was drooping off the walls. The carpet was sticky with something, and there was a stale smell to the air.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Remus asked, sniffing for danger.

"Not in the least," Sirius said almost cheerfully as he marched into the gloom.

"Well, Azkaban did nothing to his sense of danger," the werewolf said, pulling his wand and following his friend.

Harry held his hand at the ready and followed the two men. They walked down the hall and were soon at the foot of the stairs and that's when the screaming started.