A Father's Hate

Rayna's POV

The tears didn't stop streaming down my cheeks as I basically ran home, I wanted to get a cab but my body wouldn't stop walking the minute I left his office, everything in me wanted to get as far away as possible. 

Noah Gold, that monster, lured me into that building just to assault me, almost like he was trying to prove a point. But could it have been true, would my father as heartless as he is, actually try to sign me off as collateral for a loan? 

When I finally got home, my legs ached from the strain but I forced myself to go on. I wiped my eyes to hide the fact that I had been crying. 

I shut the door behind me and marched to the living room, I needed to find my father, I needed an explanation because deep down I wanted to believe Noah was twisting the tales of what exactly happened. 

I reached the living room to find my father seated comfortably on the couch watching a football game, I could feel a small sea of anger rise in me. While I was being held down by a psychopath who wanted to assault me, here he was, blissfully going on with his life like a man who hadn't sent his own daughter as sheep to the slaughter. 

"Dad." 

His head snapped in my direction and the smile that had been on his face faded, I was used to that by now. I wasn't exactly the apple of his eyes so I was used to him giving me that look.

"You're back, did you sort it out with the lawyer?" The worry in his voice was obvious, so was the sly smile on his face.

How did he expect me to sort it out? 

"Tell me it's not true?" I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"What do you mean?" The smile faltered, that was enough of an answer 

"You tried to use me as collateral for your debt and ended up using Vivan, didn't you?" 

"Did you sort it out or not?" The worry in his tone was gone, it was just harsh now. 

"Why the hell did you do that? With money you were going to gamble!!!!! You put us on the line for what?!" My voice rose and I didn't care, I was more than ready to give him a peace of my mind. 

"I should have known you'd be useless, the one thing you could help this family with you decline, how selfish can you be." 

What? What did he just say? Me? Selfish? 

"Selfish? You're not asking me to led you a couple bucks, Dad, you're in a million dollar debt and not just that. The psychopath you signed the deal with wants to use me as a fuck toy!" 

He didn't look shocked by that last part, he almost looked relieved by it. 

"So he finally agreed to take you instead?" 

I couldn't believe my ears, what sort of man was this? I just told him I was about to be basically sold off to a man who looked like he had as much moral principles as the devil and he was more concerned about me being the one taken rather than my sister. 

I knew he hated me, he had despised me all my life but this, this was too much to process. 

"You want him to take me?" My vision blurred slightly as the tears piled up in my eyes, rejection was a constant in our relationship but this time it felt like I had been stabbed right in the heart. 

"Would you rather he took your sister?" 

I didn't know when a chuckle escaped my lips, it was filled with sadness. 

So this was why he wanted me home, not because he realized I could be a daughter worthy of his affection or he realized how badly he treated me, it was so I could clean up his mess at the cost of my own life. 

"It's always Vivian, Vivian this or Vivian that. Well guess what, that lawyer, Noah, he said he's taking us both to teach you a lesson. Your plan to use me as a backup failed." 

I watched the blood drain from his face, obviously the concern wasn't for me, it was for his pretty little princess who is God knows where. 

"That bastard." He cursed under his breath and looked around.

"Does she even know? Does Vivian know you signed her off? Why does he even want her?" I asked him. 

"That's none of your business." He growled 

None of my business? I just had a man see me half naked and he wouldn't even tell me why Noah wanted Vivian. 

"You have to protect your sister, we can't let him have her. If he does, she won't be safe." He turned to me and took my hand in his with pleading eyes, the harsh hateful father had once again retracted to be replaced by this stranger.

"By sacrificing myself instead?" I pulled my hand out of his, that was an insane request. As much as I wanted to protect Vivian, I didn't want to have to deal with the burdens all by myself.

"Stop thinking about yourself..." He snapped again and got angry.

"How could you be so heartless, so bloody stupid that you even agreed to that contract. You sold off your own daughter, both your daughters and you call yourself a father, you're a freaking lunatic!" I lashed out and took a step back.

Suddenly I was filled with disgust just looking at him, I didn't want those grubby fingers anywhere near me. 

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, you ungrateful brat."

"Oh, I'm ungrateful. Tell me, what exactly I should be grateful for? That you made my life so much of a nightmare that I had to go to Italy and work as a maid for the most inhumane family ever. Or not even so much as calling for years, and when you finally do, it's because you tried to sell me out." 

"I raised you, I put a roof over your head and what do I get? A child who killed her own mother." 

"You know as well as I do that that was not my fault, why don't you blame Vivian as well. Why is it only me, you heartless monster?"

"Don't you dare speak to your father that way!."

"Father?..." I scoffed, "...Well you're doing an awfully good job at being a crap father. I came here wanting to help, like I always do but you know what? Count me out of this nonsense. You made a choice and now you're sure as hell going to pay the price for it. I'm not giving out my body for anyone." 

My fists clenched as the words came out, I was standing my ground. For the first time ever, I was rejecting my father's wishes for my own sake. 

Growing up I had fought endlessly for him and Vivian to love me, and they had taken advantage of that. If Vivian wanted something I was manipulated into thinking sacrificing it for her would make them care about me a bit more, even if it was something we could both have like food, I was made to wait like a dog and eat the scraps when she was done.

I told myself it would all pay off one day, but I was wrong. This right here was absolute proof that I had been living a sickening delusion all my life. 

"Rayna, you don't mean that." He said softly 

I bit my lips, trying to hold my stance ams not be fooled by his deception. 

"Please, I know I've been horrible to you but after this I'll change, I promise just this once my dear child. I made a terrible mistake and I'm sorry." 

My heart ached at the words, was he being sincere, was this the long awaited chance for me to earn my father's love?

He pleaded some more and eventually I gave in. He thanked me profusely. I went back to my room, my mind racing with thoughts on the situation, maybe there was a loophole in all this. 

I got to my room, the same room I had used growing up, one look around the plainly decorated and neglected room and all the memories came flooding back. It was like the cobwebs of deceit clouding my judgment had suddenly been swept off. 

"No." I told myself. 

I'm going to go through with this, love isn't supposed to be earned, especially not like this. I sat at the side of my bed and stared at the door. 

"I'm sorry Dad, you're going to have to deal with your own problem yourself. I won't ever let you use me again." I said in my head and reached out for my phone. 

I scrolled through the flight options, I was going back to Italy as soon as possible and I wouldn't let anyone or anything stop me. 

I tossed my phone aside and collapsed into the bed. 

Good luck with your deal with my father Mr Gold, because I will take no part in it.

Apologies for the inconsistent update. It'll be more consistent now. Please don't forget to like and comment. 

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