THOUSANDS OF KILOS

Ribuan kilo (Thousands of kilos)

Jalan yang kau tempuh (The path you take)

Lewati rintangan (pass the obstacle)

Untuk aku anakmu (For me your child)

Ibuku sayang (My dear mother)

Masih terus berjalan (Still going)

Walau langkah kaki (Even if the footprints)

Penuh darah penuh nanah (Full of blood full of pus)

Iwan Fals' old song sung by city bus buskers woke me up from my sleep. I cast a glance out the windowpane, creeping solidly. Hot afternoon. Live music. The breeze brushing the face refreshes the soul.

I saw a mother holding her child while waiting for a vehicle at the bus stop. Back in the car, in front of me was a child standing in a rear-facing seat, staring at me. Her mother's hood, perhaps, was visible beside him. Wherever I am, I always see the sight of a mother with her child. Always mother and mother, rarely father and father travel alone with their children.

The very melodious voice of the buskers brought my dreams to fly away to my hometown to meet my mother.

Is there any desire for a mother to wear jewelry or cool clothes like the ones shown off at social gatherings or attending special events? My mother seemed 'out' of the race. She was still present modestly as if she didn't need anything that dazzled the eye.

In her humble demeanor, I can feel her rich soul. She always says IT'S BETTER TO LOOK DON'T HAVE BUT WE HAVE, RATHER THAN TO BE SEEN AS THE HAVE BUT DON'T HAVE.

I was always nagging. "It's better to look we have but we have bu, if we look we don't have when we have, later people won't appreciate and look down on us..."

My mother didn't say anything. But in reality, that's just my excuse. It was proven that I was finally trapped in 6 credit card debts and I couldn't do anything. Again, it was the mom who became my guardian angel and that was enough to make me ashamed.

Once my mother bought a motorcycle, she used the money from the Arisan*) for a down payment, then she deposit the money at the dealer by making installments monthly until the amount was enough to bring home the new motorcycle. My mother doesn't want to be in debt, but she doesn't want to buy second-hand either. She always tried to give and buy the best when can afford for their children, and always try to honor their children in a way that I think is very elegant.

My mother had a financial planning system that I had never read about in any book.

And what I never imagined. My mother who was so innocent, quiet, and humble, and just learned Alif Ba Ta and read the Koran after Retirement, is now able to become a speaker or Ustadzah in recitation events in our village, from small events in the RT environment to a broader level of study. She was able to give the convenience of speaking in front of the stage like granted Hidayah (guidance) from God. Besides, my mother is always trusted as treasurer in all social activities in her environment as everyone knows her credibility in holding the mandate.

One day, coming home from an event she told me. "Luna, at the recitation, all the audience, all great people, doctor's wife, bachelor... Ibu did not feel good becoming a speaker..."

"That means Ibu is the greatest..." I answered simply.

But in my heart, my admiration increases, in my eyes my mother is already great. But my mother never felt that way.

I learned a lot from Mother, don't need too much theory. Just do it. And God will make a way.

***

One day in the morning, as usual, the scenery was the same as in previous years.

Every time we wanted to return to Jakarta after the Eid holiday, Mom was the one who most troubled. Squatting down arrange various kinds of food for gifts, putting in one by one, Eid cake, peanut brittle, seasoning, long beans, cabbage, bean sprouts, red onion, garlic, red chili, shrimp paste, tempeh, oil, soy sauce, sticky rice, lanting, one by one, into the cardboard used for instant noodles.

Then father helped her tie it with raffia rope, sometimes the two of them discussed seriously looking for the right way so that all the gifts could fit into the box.

Mom and Dad do it with enthusiasm, full of enthusiasm as if this is the most important thing for them.

"Nduk*), in the box there is a cooked chicken to eat later when you get home. Then tempeh and tofu are fried, and vegetables can be boiled the next day with seasoning, so you don't need to go to the market. Usually, the market doesn't sell much when the Eid holidays are just over"

"Yes buu…" I said without taking my eyes off the tv screen.

"Then this one is to be eaten after a break after praying at the mosque"

I glance at the desk. I saw steamed rice in a stereo form lined with parchment paper, complete with plates made of stereo form, there was tissue, a large bottle of mineral water filled with water for washing hands, small glasses of mineral water for drinking, plastic spoons, plastic bags for trash bins after eat, wededewdewwww how complicated...

"You don't have to do that, bu… just take it easy, there are lots of restaurants out there we'll stop while resting…" I said lightly. Imagine a beautiful restaurant on side of the beach, perfect for relaxing, and enjoying fresh young coconut ice accompanied by a sunset. What a wonderful lunch

***

In the afternoon, after 5 hours of traveling and passing through Cirebon, my stomach started to rumble. We looked from right to left looking for a place to eat but as long as the car drove we didn't find any single restaurant. The rain started to fall, the drizzle was getting heavier and heavier, the stomach was getting tighter, and the road seemed to get longer and longer.

We have returned home dozens of times, we know exactly where we used to go, but at that time not a single restaurant was seen. Is it possible they go bankrupt or any disaster causing everything gone? Always, at time when you need, you won't find it. I complained myself.

We finally found a large enough resort after Ashr prayer. Our car is parked. This is our first time stopping here. I walked around. Quiet.

There was a lot of space lined up with tiny little bulkheads, but surprisingly they all looked so dirty, that we had to change places a few times. It doesn't matter what kind of food is the most important thing there is something to calm our stomach.

And the food was ordered, nevertheless we had to be more patient by waiting for it for quite a long time. Huuhhhh! It shouldn't be that long, this place is so quiet, seem only we're eating here, how could It be? I grumbled.

After more than half an hour of waiting the order was finally served. But even worse it wasn't just food that came, along with the food served on the table, a group of green flies flew around.

Disgusting.

Candles were lit in the corners and the middle of the dining table. But still unable to repel the flies. Finally, we ate with our hands busy chasing away the flies. We ate in a hurry and a lot was left because we couldn't stand the situation.

Feel like screaming…

I almost got mad at the restaurant waiter when suddenly a flash of my mother's face...

OMG!!!

Forgive me, God.

God's rebuke for those who are disobedient to their parents does not take long. Even though there is no intention to be disobedient. On the same day, I was warned by Him.

I imagine the face of a disappointed mother looking at the rice that has been prepared on the table being ignored by the child they love. How dare I refuse it.

And my tears fell for a moment. I felt like flying back home and prostrating to kiss mom's feet….

Seperti udara kasih yang kau berikan

(Like the air the love you give)

Tak sanggup ku membalas

(I can't repay)

Ibu

Moms…

***

*) Arisan is a group of people who collect money or goods regularly at each certain period. After the money is collected the name shuffled, and one of the group members will come out as the winner.

*)Nduk is a parent's call to their daughter in Central Java