Chapter 18: Here For You

I had just finished explaining to Nanna about the strange woman I encountered twice now, and how I'd shut down the fight ring when the door opened a third time and Payten entered. My stepmom hurried right to me, though she waited until Nanna stepped back before she swooped in for a hug. I always felt awkward embracing her, partly because she was so well endowed and squishy since she'd had the twins, and partly-okay mostly-out of loyalty to Mom, misplaced or not.

Regardless, Payten had always been good to me and I did hug her, if briefly, before stepping away.

"We've missed you," she said, one hand pressed to her throat, honey hair shining as she turned to nod to Dad who stayed silent and grim. "Haven't we, Quaid?"

Dad didn't comment on that, but he had more than enough to say about the rest.

"Why did you come to Miriam, Ethie?" Accusations when I'd done my best to do the right thing? Really, Dad?

Nanna hugged me to her with one arm, a bit of a frown on her face. "You're always welcome here," she said, though her gaze never left Dad who shifted in vague discomfort when she held silent and stared a long moment after speaking.

Well now. That had to sting a little.

When she met my eyes again, she nodded once. "Where are Syd and Mother?"

I shrugged, feeling tension between my shoulder blades. "Out of touch." I didn't say as usual or throw any bitterness in that statement. I was past that. Yeah, sure I was. Still, I'd come here because I wasn't comfortable not telling someone and she was it.

Nanna seemed to understand and even appreciate that. "I'm glad you spoke up, Ethie," she said. "This needs to be dealt with, and right away. Well done, dear."

Thanks, Nanna, I sent to her, relief washing over me and making my knees wobble a little.

I'm sorry I interrupted, but I didn't know what to do.

You absolutely did the proper thing, she sent back, firm and loving. Don't ever, ever hesitate to come to me, darling girl. I'm always here for you. She kissed my forehead, the two or so inches she had on me just enough reach that still made me feel like she towered over me. We all are.

Not Dad. But that wasn't news.

"Take care of the meeting for me, Quaid," Nanna said, shedding her white robe in a rush. "I have to go to Wilding Springs."

"That's not your job anymore, Miriam." Did he really just chastise her like that? In a tone of voice that sounded like judgment?

Nanna didn't even flinch. "If you'd do yours when I ask," she said in a brusque tone and with a professional smile, "that would be wonderful." With that, while I choked on the need to giggle at Dad's stormy expression, she pulled me against her and we stepped into blue fire. The last image that burned through the flames was Payten's slumped shoulders and my father's clenched fists held tight at his sides.

He better not take out his bad mood on my stepmom, the jerk.

He's a good man, Ethie, she sent as we exited her magic into the kitchen, the familiar space welcoming both of us home when the family power recognized Nanna instantly and with the faintest touch of loneliness for her. "And he does love you."

I grunted.

She brushed my cheek with her fingertips, lilacs wafting. "He just doesn't know how to talk to you anymore. Does that sound familiar?"

She had to go for the low blow and remind me a lot of my life's woes had been equally my fault. Thankfully, she let it go as her vast power reached out through the coven's magic and made contact with GreatGram and Ameline. I felt Mom's distance but her mental voice was crisp in our heads as she spoke, concern in her magic.

What's wrong, Mom?

Ethie's discovered an intruder in the territory, Nanna sent. And turned to smile at me.

Paused, expectant and trusting.

Gulp. I could feel them waiting for me to fill them in and, my newfound connection held firmly in my heart, told them what I knew. About my first meeting with the old woman, the second. How Coradine had allowed her entry and the strange agreeable feeling I'd had when in the sorcerer's presence. I finished with the disillusion of the fighting ring.

I'll make sure it doesn't start up again, I sent. But for now, the strange woman seems to be the priority.

Why didn't you tell us about her last night? GreatGram's question, for once, wasn't angry or disappointed. Just thoughtful.

I don't know, I sent, feeling my mind shy from thinking about it. It's possible she influenced me. Way more than possible, Ethie. Don't be an idiot. Which is quite a feat against a Hayle in her own territory. Not bragging. Just truth. They all hummed their agreement. The family power was so tied into the white sorcery Mom had awakened there was no way a sorcerer should have been able to affect me, let alone wander around our territory unnoticed.

Troubling indeed.

I'll be home shortly, Mom sent. I'm just talking with Mabel.

I tiny thrill of worry zipped up my spine. Everything okay? I couldn't help but feel anxious. The times she'd had dealings with the drach in the past had led to Creation's near destruction and other assorted life shaking events. Not always. But frequently enough I still had this embedded fear of the powerful first race.

Fine, Mom sent, warm and supportive. It's nothing serious. She just wanted to talk. She misses Max. Nanna's sadness touched all of us through our connection.

Mom didn't answer, her own grief cut off from us as if to protect us from just how much his passing hurt her. I knew she blamed herself for his death, despite also knowing-thanks to my brother's insights-Mom couldn't have done a thing to stop it. Not and save Creation at the same time. In fact, thanks to his sacrifice I still had a Mom to love and fight with and all the other mixed emotions I struggled with on a daily basis.

Whatever our convoluted relationship and where it took us from here, I honestly didn't think I could bear the weight of my mother's responsibilities, even if I was asked to step up as she had.

In the meantime, GreatGram sent, Ameline's agreement joining Sassafras's, we'll start a sweep of Wilding Springs and surrounds. She sounded a little off, distracted. Describe her again, Ethie.

I did, from the corkscrew black curls to the streaks of white, the crow on her shoulder, everything I could remember. GreatGram muttered something I missed before severing her connection, Ameline and Sass murmuring their goodbyes, leaving Mom and Nanna hanging onto me.

Proud of you, kid, Mom sent. See you shortly. And then she, too, was gone.

Proud of me. I'd waited so long and now I was hearing it so much I could barely stand it.

Nanna hugged me with one arm, sighing deeply, joyfully. "At last," she said. "My girls are back together again."

I grinned at her, hugged her with great enthusiasm. "I'd buy that album," I said.

Nanna perked, mind distant, flashing off to Hong Kong, probably. A moment later, she released me, smiling lingering. "I'm sorry, darling, I have to go."

And crap. "I took you away from something big, didn't I?" Guilt, my old friend.

She laughed, deep and warm, hands stroking my hair back from my face. "It's always something big," she said. "But never as important as you." She wrinkled her nose, the lines around her mouth and eyes deepening a moment. "Honestly, I'm grateful for the reprieve. If I have to listen to one more person complain about everyone else..."

Yeah, didn't want her job, either.

"Thanks for everything, Nanna," I said, choking up enough I had to look away to keep from crying. "For trusting me."

Her fingers firmly lifted my chin and her blue eyes sparked with power that she poured over me like a waterfall of pure adoration. "I love you," she said. And disappeared in blue flames.

It was either go to my room and cry like a little kid or get the hell out of the house and gulp giant gasps of air to keep from sobbing. The back yard was dark, the light over the door flickering on as I strode with determination-sneakers on this time-to the park on the other side. The swing set under the trees beckoned, one of my favorite places to retreat and think and moments later I hung onto the thick chains with both hands, my butt firmly planted in the worn seat.

So weird, not to know if I should cry or laugh or get a bit hysterical and do both at the same time. I'd longed for this kind of trust and engagement with my family, but I had no idea how many emotions getting what I wanted was going to trigger. It was almost easier just to be angry all the time, to let the darkness of my frustration and irritation help me pretend I didn't care what they thought or blame them for my lot in life. This openness, this heartfelt attachment was almost too painful.

But I wouldn't give it up for anything. I finally had exactly what I longed for and my life could only get better from here. How awesome was that?

Something rattled in my pocket and I fished inside the front of my jeans a moment, frowning.

When I pulled out the gold locket, the heavy links of the chain sliding over my knuckles, I started in shock. I'd failed to tell them about this, forgot all about it. How odd was that? But the instant that thought crossed my mind, nervous worry poking me to immediately hand it over, I shrugged off the concern. It was just a locket.

Right?

Suddenly tired and ready for bed, I rose from the swing, the necklace slipping back into my pocket. I took one step and stopped, shook my head. Where was I going? Disorientation took me for a second, made my knees weak. Home, yes? Bed. Okay then.

Bed it was.

***