Low Defenses

_Lavalee Flamelinne Hanazono's Point of View_

I woke up all of a sudden so I sat up. I touched my cheek and I felt that it's wet.

I stared at my damp hand and noticed that there is a clear liquid on it. I touched both of my cheeks and I felt a tear rolling down my cheek.

Am I crying?

But why?

I reached for my phone when I heard it ring and looked at the time.

| 2:15 AM |

I saw that the caller is my baby sister, Freia so I immediately answered it.

I wonder why she's calling this early. It's only 3:15 AM in Breakore if I remember correctly.

[Nee-chan, I miss Eomma and Appa,] I can hear Freia's voice cracking the moment I answered the phone.

I sighed then composed my voice and tried to be strong, for Freia, for our baby sister.

"I miss them too, Freia-kun, and it's alright to cry and miss them while being strong. Do you understand nee-chan, hmm?" I told her in a cooing tone.

[Do you hate me, onee-chan? Because I couldn't protect Eomma?] I can hear her heart-breaking sob from the other line when she asked that.

My heart throbbed when I heard her ask me that. Freia's too young to think like this. It's not her fault. She shouldn't feel like this, we're doing everything to avoid making them feel like this.

"Mochiron chigaimasu," I said immediately and bit my lip to stop myself from changing my tone and to keep it calm

"Why would I hate you, hmm? You were a kid back then, they attacked us when our defenses were low, and it's not your fault." I said calmly

"You shouldn't blame yourself, baby, because onee-chan and nii-sama won't ever blame you for what happened back then. You, Icey, and Fuego are the reason why we're fighting." I added trying to smile but my tears are already flowing because if there is someone who could protect eomma back then, it would have been me

I could've protected eomma.

I could've if only I chose to stay.

[Isn't that tiring? You're always there for us but we can't be there to help you or nii-sama. Isn't that unfair and hard?] she asked me while sobbing

"You can never get tired of something you do for your family, baby. It will never be tiring to fight for you, and our family." I said trying to convince Freia and at the same time making myself stronger and composed.

Even though Freia's already around ten years old, she's still a kid, she still needs guidance.

Freia, Icey, and Fuego need our parents, but they're not here anymore so Nii-sama and I are doing our best to make them complete.

For them not to feel the gap, for them not to feel that something is missing, we're trying to fill the gap our parents left.

It's hard but for them, we can endure it no matter what.

[I'm sorry, onee-chan. I know I'm making things harder for you, for nii-sama, for everyone. I'm sorry I'm powerless.] she apologized but it's tearing my heart apart because she's thinking like this.

I shook my head harshly even though she can't see me.

I don't want to hear her or any of them saying this because it breaks my heart.

They shouldn't feel like this, nii-sama and I, we are doing our best to fill it in.

Even if it's taking a toll on our personal lives.

"Nansensuna koto o yamero, Freia!" I scolded her in our mother tongue

"You're not making it harder for us, Freia. You are our little sister, and it makes us happy to make you happy and to make sure that you are alright and happy." I said calmly but I know my voice will soon break so I took a deep breath after speaking before I continued speaking

"Always remember that, okay?" I told her firmly

[Onee-chan,] she was sobbing

"Shh, stop crying, okay?" I told her and went to the music room.

Maybe she needs to rest, she must've had a nightmare again.

Like when I was still with her in Breakore.

If only I could fly there immediately, I would lull her in person.

"Sleep," I told her calmly in my lulling voice.

I opened the grand piano and placed my phone in loudspeaker mode before placing it beside me.

[I can't, Eonnie,] she said still sobbing so I began playing some keys

I sang the lullaby our mother used to lull us with while pressing the keys on the grand piano lightly.

"You should sleep, Freia, it's all just a nightmare," I said in a lulling voice.

[Eonnie, can you sing it for Icey-chan and me?] she said and smiled even though she won't see it.

She still thinks of others even though she's hurting herself.

Our pure and innocent Freia, I hope you stay that way; pure and innocent.

"I will," I said and started pressing the keys on the grand piano again

I sang the lullaby again, and this time I hear them humming along, and I couldn't help but smile because of how nostalgic this is.

Just like when we're younger.

When Eomma's humming this to us, I think Fuego didn't experience that tough.

He's been taken away at such a young age because of the threat to the family.

After I pressed the last key on the grand piano, I took my phone and placed it near my ear.

I can hear their soft and even breathing.

I smiled and sigh in relief because I know I did what I must do to protect them from pain.

"Oyasumi, ohimesama. Watashi wa anata o totemo aishiteimasu, amai yume." I said and ended the call

I'm happy that I was able to send those two to sleep because even if they don't want to say it, I know that they're longing for Eomma and Appa.

They miss how eomma used to sing us to sleep, how she used to prepare our breakfast even though we have maids, and how she would give us breakfast in bed.

Our little sisters are still kids after all.

They're still kids who long for our Eomma and Appa.

I stood up and closed the piano silently before going down to the kitchen.

My phone rang and Snow-sama's name flashed on the screen.

"Kon'nichiwa, Snow-sama!" I greeted but my voice is breaking

I don't know why maybe because I'm deeply affected by Freia's words earlier

[Furamerin,] he called and I gulped to calm my voice

"Nii-sama…" I said and my voice faltered

[Suimin, Furamerin.] His voice is calm unlike the usual cold and full of authority.

"I'm not tired, Nii-sama." I said

[Iwanakatta desu.] he said

"But you're pertaining to it." I pointed out

[Neru dake. Ganko suginaide kudasai.] he said

"Yuki-sama, tsukaremasen ka?" I asked him without thinking

I almost laughed at myself because Freia asked me that earlier and now I'm asking Snow-sama the same question. Isn't it tiring?

It is.

Running, being chased, fighting, everything is just so tiring.

[Dōomoimasuka?] he asked back and I shook my head even if he won't see it

"No, but hearing Fuego, Icey, or Freia ask us that is heart-breaking, Nii-sama," I said and a sob escaped my mouth.

Tears began falling from my eyes.

[Freia called you.] he concluded

"I apologize that you have to hear me cry, nii-sama. I'm such a weak failure." I apologized and harshly wiped away my tears

[You're human, aren't you?] he said and I nodded even though he won't see it

"Ohayō, Nii-sama. Gomen'nasai." I said almost inaudible because my voice is shaking and I'm sobbing

[Ohayōgozaimasu, ohimesama. Watashitachi wa anata o aishiteimasu, sore o wasurenaide kudasai.]

That was the first time Nii-sama said something long out of the meeting room but I don't have the strength to tease him because he pulled me out of my doubts.

"Thanks," I said and he ended the call

I went back to my room and did what Nii-sama told me to do, I fell into a deep slumber.

Maybe in my dreams, I can ask for Eomma and Appa's forgiveness.

Maybe only by then, I won't hurt too much and I can have the strength to face Freia, Fuego, and Icey in person, seeing them on screen is endurable but I don't think I can do the same personally because I still feel guilty.

No matter how much Nii-sama or our aunts and uncles tell me it's not my fault, I still feel it.

I still feel like it's entirely my fault.

***

Mochiron chigaimasu. - Of course not.

Nansensuna koto o yamero, Freia! - Stop that nonsense, Freia!

Oyasumi, ohimesama. Watashi wa anata o totemo aishiteimasu, amai yume. - Good night, our princesses. I love you both very much, sweet dreams.

Suimin, Furamerin. - Sleep, Flamelinne.

Iwanakatta desu. - I did not say that.

Neru dake. Ganko suginaide kudasai. - Just sleep. Don't be too stubborn.

Dōomoimasuka? - What do you think?

Ohayō, Nii-sama. Gomen'nasai. - Good Morning, Nii-sama. Sorry.

Ohayōgozaimasu, ohimesama. Watashitachi wa anata o aishiteimasu, sore o wasurenaide kudasai. - Good morning, princess. We love you, don't forget that.