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Chapter 6

I also wanted to get a better build. I wanted to be able to wear those more provocative T-shirts to good effect. And that meant: going to the gym more.

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I put both old and new shorts and T-shirts into my gym bag, but ended up chickening out at the last minute, donning the latter when I was changing at the gym. I was so disgusted with myself for this, that I forced myself to work extra hard on the exercise machines—as a kind of self-punishment.

The extra effort had a positive effect: I felt more aggressive, and therefore more self-confident. Besides, at one point I had caught a glimpse of myself in one of the mirrors they have on the walls of the exercise room—and been impressed. A few minutes later I actually went back and had a good look—I had seen others do this so I wasn’t too self-conscious.