I spent the entire night debating how or when I'd be able to even talk with Eva. Then processing how well the conversation went with Vicki about Eva. Then processing her suggesting we talk to her... individually at that! But I am eager to talk to her, because I have been missing her... I wondered how Vicki even knew. I wanted to ask her, but I couldn't tell if she was asleep or not.
"Baby..." I softly called out to her. "Yea" she responded faintly, I swallowed hard preparing myself to ask her "...how did you know" she looked up at me, resting her chin on my chest.
"You get really in your thoughts sometimes .. like deep an so consumed with something or someone... after listening to how you refer to her as opposed to Alia I just put two and two together" she straddled my waist and kept her eyes on me. "All I've ever wanted is honesty, love, support and partnership from you. I've only wanted to share with you since the day I met you" Vicki continued as I wrapped my arms around her waist bringing her closer to me.
"I have never desired perfection from you, yet you created this façade that tainted me from my own desires... which you can't be blamed for my blindness. But had I have paid attention to what all I wanted from you, we definitely wouldn't be here. An honestly I don't even know how to feel about that, because we have built such a beautiful life... I was just so nervous that it was all a lie, that I let my hurt and anger get the best of me. When I realized that wasn't helping me and that I really just wanted to understand because I did the same thing" I wiped a tear that dripped to her cheek. Vicki cleared her throat a little and spoke again
"Eva does just have something about her... something that caught us both" she slightly backed off her words an tensed up a bit. I hugged her an stroked her back "I've only wanted to share with you since the day I met you is one of the best sentences to describe how effective and monumental you are in my life. THAT'S the reason I worked so hard for the lie... everyday I asked myself why/how could I ever sexually desire anyone else when you complete me the way you do? How could I ever love her the way I do, when I love you the way I do? I asked so many questioned of myself ..and I knew when it was nothing to cut Alia off, that it wasn't about disrespecting you or my ego or anything like that... With Eva I self sabotaged all because I was afraid of what other people would think... I cared to much about opinions back then but I did love her... and seeing her reopened a door I assumed I'd never see again... she's nowhere near you... but she is somewhere..." I spoke up an cleared my throat as a tear fell down my face. Vicki wrapped her arms up my back and held me, after she wiped my face. I lifted her chin to look at me "No one and I do mean No one will ever be before you or above you. You are the love of my life..." I kissed her lips an reclined us back holding her body to mine. "You are an always will be the best parts of my existence and I love you Victoria" I said squeezing her a little tighter, she giggled "I love you too Danni..." and sighed. "I love you too".
I got up ready for the day.. felt like a weight had been lifted, I looked down and Vicki was still cuddled up to me. Last night was needed .. shit this whole weekend was needed. I whispered to Vicki that we had to get up an start getting ready "baby ... I want to talk to her today... is it ok if I take you to work" I asked as she was walking into the bathroom. She nervously smiled and nodded "yes" as she turned to continue into the bathroom I walked up behind her "just a conversation... maybe drinks at another time but today?! Just a convo babygirl" I kissed her neck as she view my expressions through the mirror. "I will continue to be honest.. from here on out" I said staring at her through the mirror as well. She nodded then finally replied "okay... I'm trusting you... don't fuck I up, you won't get a third" she turned around to faced me an poked my chest playfully ..but I knew just how serious she was.
I got dressed but kept it simple and clean cut, I didn't want it to seem like I was over doing it but I made sure to put on Eva's favorite scent of mine.. specifically the one I knew would grab her attention, mentally ....and physically.
"Mmm you smell nice..." Vicki commented with a teasing voice. "Haha cut it out..." I kissed her lips and hugged her waist "so do you Mrs. Mitchell" I pecked her nose. "Thank you.. you ready" Vicki asked and I nodded.
As I started the car I asked myself "...now what" ...