No! No! Noooooo!

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MHA - Return By Death.

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***

"We...shouldn't forget that we're currently in public...right?"

He pointed out that the two of them, albeit being alone, were still in nature.

And they could very well be seen by someone if one so much as decided to take a walk down the road and pray near the Symbol of Mondstadt.

"Aww...I was hoping that...maybe..."

Barbara pouted, and then proceeded to unfasten the ribbon that hid away her bountiful assets.

The white ribbon fell to the ground, and Yomite's eyes were drawn to her breasts.

Barbara's bosom was completely unconfined, and it spilled over the edges of her white frock.

The view was breathtaking, it had been a while since he'd seen woman's breasts quite so large and magnificent right before his eyes, since his lovers were both quite petite.

They were majestic mountains compared to her rather short body.

His eyes were still glued to the sight of her chest, and Yomite wondered how he was going to be able to stop himself from taking advantage of her now.

He was supposed to be the mature one here...

'Get a grip.' he thought to himself, 'I can't just do her like this...what am I, a sex maniac?'

But Barbara was far too tempting, and he couldn't resist her allure after being seduced by her at so many occasions.

With some hesitation, he reached out to grab her breasts with both hands.

They were as firm and round as he imagined them to be.

Her pink areolas were larger than he expected, and it felt amazing to gently squeeze each nipple between his—

"—Ahem!"

The sudden interruption startled both of them, and they quickly looked up into the tree.

There was someone standing there.

Barbara covered up her chest with the ribbon and turned red in embarrassment, quickly hiding behind the tree, while Yomite just stared at the person with a frown.

"I apologize for interrupting, but the noises were too disrupting...Long time no see, I swear I wasn't hiding in the tree!"

These cringe-worthy lyrics and rhyming couplets felt far too familiar not to be connected to someone...

It was Venti, the most feminine man Yomite had ever met.

Despite being a man, Venti's voice was sweet and smooth, and every time he spoke, it sounded so girlish that Barbara was almost sure he was a young woman.

However, he wasn't...

Yomite discovered the truth about Venti's gender the hard way.

"Oh...it's just you, Venti," He muttered.

He was kind of disappointed someone had interrupted them, but at least he stopped him from crossing the line.

"What's this? You sound disappointed you met me, yet you jumped around a moment ago, as if you've had a flee!"

"One more rhyme and I'm coming up there to slap you myself. What the hell is wrong with you? Speak normally, man..."

Venti giggled, "You can slap me all you want. I love it when you get angry like that. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right, ehe!"

"So...what did you come here for anyway?" Yomite asked him.

He had always been able to make Yomite mad, and it seemed like he didn't plan on stopping anytime soon.

"Hmm...Hmm, this is a holy place and...well...I didn't want you two to start something here...so I decided to interrupt this little meeting of yours~" he laughed, but he himself didn't expect anyone to come here and disrupt his rest.

"Yum-Yum...is-isn't that...?" Barbara stuttered, pointing at Venti.

Yomite knew what Barbara was referring to immediately.

"Yes, that's him."

Venti's beauty truly resembled those legends, no matter what the angle, his face was a work of art.

His long dark blue hair swayed elegantly, and his aqua green eyes resembled the sky and the grass.

When Barbara saw him, she gasped audibly.

Usually he was acting like a fool and annoying bard with no dignity, but now, within the crown of the heroic tree, he was dignified and beautiful.

Venti smiled happily at the girl who had taken an interest in him, "Deaconess Barbara, it's nice to see you again. I apologize for interrupting you two. Ehe! I'm quite flattered you've fallen for my charms on first sight, howeve—"

"—Ew, yuck! No! That's gross!" Barbara immediately interrupted him with a disgusted expression on her face.

She looked like she had just eaten a cockroach, and almost spun away from disgust at the thought.

...

..

.

"..."

Venti was left speechless.

"...It was...just a joke, Deaconess Barbara, I was just kidding..." he mumbled, seeming rather depressed by her outburst.

Even if it was a joke he made, she'd replied without any real humor in her eyes, clearly showing that she actually took what he had said as literal and gave him a straight up cruel answer.

'The worst she can say is no, they said...You killed him...Barbara.' Yomite couldn't hold back his laughter any longer and he clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle it.

He couldn't help but laugh at Venti's predicament, 'What the hell was he thinking? Could it be he wanted to tease me and Barbara about what we wanted to do just now, but ended up embarrassing himself instead?'

"I'm sorry, Venti, that was quite rude of us," Yomite apologized to him, "Still, how is life going? I haven't seen you in quite a while, I thought you died or something."

"Hmmm...My heart was stolen by a certain, cold, fair lady late at night, unfortunately, she didn't have a great sense of humor and ditched me, lying on the streets. But alas..." Venti sighed sadly, "...I am no longer the same bard you once knew. I am far weaker than before due to this."

"Weaker than before? Is that even possible? But damn, I didn't know even someone like you could have his heart stolen by a woman. It must have been quite good looking lady." Yomite teased him.

"Indeed she was...pretty on the outside, ugly on the inside...but that's enough about me! How is everything with you, Yomite, my friend? Oh, do pardon me...I heard you're going by 'Yum-Yum' now. Cute."

"Lay off, asshole, or else I'll climb up there."

"Oooh, scary~" Venti taunted him, "I'm so afraid, Yum-Yum~" He stuck out his tongue at him.

'This little femboy bastard...' Yomite grumbled to himself. Even if he wanted to climb up after him, Venti was way too slippery to get caught.

"Venti, can you climb down please, I have something I want to tell you." Barbara requested politely.

She mustered up the guts to address him straight.

It was time to confront him and ask him the question she had been wanting to ask for so long.

"Ah, yes. I don't mind, but please protect me from him, or else he might touch me somewhere inappropriately."

"Tch...of course I wouldn't! Damn weirdo..."

Venti glided down with his wind glider, landing lightly upon the forest grass, "What did you want to ask me, Deaconess Barbara?"

"Um...forgive Yum-Yum for this, but he revealed me your true identity..."

"...Did he now?" Venti frowned and glanced behind him, where Yomite was standing, a look of disappoinment graced his lovely features.

He didn't seem to take it very well.

"Why would you do such a thing, Yomite? I thought we were friends?"

"Well...I'm not entirely sure how it slipped out, but you can blame Morax for it...Barbara was nearby when we questioned him and well...it happened...?" Yomite explained.

"I see...alright. I'm not mad. Just disappointed. Thank you for telling me." Venti spoke, after a moment of silence. "I'm indeed Barbatos, The Anemo Archon, so please keep it a secret, Deaconess Barbara...What is it you wish to ask of me?" The playfulness in his voice was long gone, replaced with a serious tone.

"...Ever since worshipping you... I've always had this thought...why...just why did you give Vision to someone like me? Someone who cannot utilize it properly. Why did you choose me among other people in the world..." Barbara asked him.

This was something Barbara has long desired to understand. Why was she granted the ability to utilize Vision and heal others?

When she was so untalented with the elements?

"..."

Venti didn't answer immediately, instead, he looked up at the sky, as if waiting for something.

When that something didn't appear, he lowered his gaze again to her.

"Deaconess Barbara. I'm afraid you misunderstood."

His eyes were filled with sadness.

"Huh...? What do you mean?"

"Archons aren't the one's giving away..." He stopped himself there and sighed deeply, "When one's fervent ambition burns brightly, the gods will cast their gaze upon you, and grant you a Vision...Deaconess Barbara, the key is people's desire and another aspect which I'm not allowed to mention. Know this, it wasn't me who gave it to you."

"What!?...I-I-I can't accept that answer! Are you saying that... I've been worshipping you all this time for naught...the whole reason...the whole reason I was happy to pray to you...was to thank you for granting me a Vision...and giving me a chance to somewhat compete with my sister..."

Barbara said tearfully, feeling that she was betrayed by something she should have never trusted. Just how many more setbacks would she have to endure in her life?

Venti sighed once again and nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry, Deaconess Barbara...this is the truth."

"That can't be...no way..."

Yomite watched the conversation between them.

He pulled out the Anemo Vision from his bag and showed it to Venti, "How about this? I got this recently when I was in Liyue. It's an Anemo Vision, so you're telling me you weren't the one who gave it to me? I thought you were the Anemo god, right?"

The moment Venti saw the Vision, he gasped quietly, "You...why do you have this...this shouldn't be possible...it's impossible...!"

Yomite took a step back by the sudden wind pressure Venti emitted, and looked up at him.

"...You...!" Venti widened his eyes in disbelief, "H-How did you become a Genshin? An outsider from a world beyond...how did you become an allogene...!? Answer me!"

His voice became louder and louder, as he pointed at Yomite.

"Why are you getting so mad...? I don't know how it appeared, but I assume it was when I heard your voice in my head..." Yomite replied calmly, and then added, "So that wasn't you?"

Venti shook his head and closed his eyes.

A sense of dread washed over his body.

He was very well aware Yomite wasn't the type who could uphold a lie, so he knew he was speaking the truth...

"You were...deceived...it's too late now. The whole reason I entrusted Dvalin to you in a form of a contract, was because you didn't posses a Vision...and yet...you have one now...how...how could this have happened!? Please...throw it away. Do something!"

Venti pleaded.

"Throw it away? You're asking me to throw away something that could be beneficial to me in the long run once I master it and gain more strength? With more strength I can protect Iris better, no?"

Venti didn't reply immediately, and instead, stood still with his head hung low.

"It's dangerous...You cannot destroy a Vision. The only way to get rid of it is when you wish for it to disappear. So please, bury it somewhere and never think about it ever again."

"Nah, I'm keeping it. I don't see a need to throw away something so valuable."

Upon hearing that, Venti's face turned pale, and he grabbed onto Yomite's arm.

"W-Wait...what are you doing?" Yomite tried to pull his arm away, but Venti was much stronger than expected.

"Oi!? What are you doing—!?"

They both somehow fell to the ground, rolling around until Yomite managed to push Venti off.

"Yomite...please listen to me...!" Venti's desperation had now escalated, "Please understand...Vision is too dangerous! I don't want my friend Dvalin to be around danger! You included!"

"Danger? I'm fine with that. I'm an adventurer after all, and I'm not afraid like you. I am sure Iris would agree with me."

Yomite answered coolly, making Venti scoff in anger.

"Stop it! Don't be stupid now and listen to me—!"

"—I'll be alright, my friend, Barbatos."

Venti stopped shouting for a second when someone interrupted them.

A figure of a tall woman with horns emerged from the forest.

"Dvalin..." Venti breathed out weakly, "You're here...?"

"Iris? How did you find us?" Yomite asked, surprised that she appeared out of nowhere. Could she even teleport now?

"...Whenever Master says my name, I'm be able to tell your location. I hurried over because you mentioned it shortly twice in a row, so I assumed you were in danger and needed my help." Iris explained.

'Does that mean she has like a GPS installed somewhere? Maybe it's more comparable to Voldemort name trace?'

Yomite thought to himself, that his Dragon girl was way too overpowered...

"Iris...what are you doing here?" Barbara was also shocked to see Iris.

The whole situation was just so bizarre she didn't know what to do and just stood there, watching it unfold.

'Yum-Yum is fistfighting with an Anemo Archon, Barbatos...how amazing. As expected of him!'

If someone from Earth had witnessed this and tried to make a comparison, they might as well have stated Yomite was battling Jesus Christ...

"Barbatos, I am touched by your sincerity and concern for me, but I will be okay. Ever since becoming humanoid, my life was so much better than ever, and if there was a threat capable of harming this lifestyle, I'll crush it."

"....."

"Please rest. I'm sure you're hurting right now, for going against your ideals of freedom and forcing my master to give up the Vision..." Iris smiled gently at him.

"...You're right. I should have considered your feelings. I was selfish." Venti apologized sincerely with a sigh, "It's your decision...after all...I was powerless to stop it yet again..."

"...Man...I was surprised that even you can get angry...you completely caught me off guard there." Yomite spoke, "But my point still stands. If Visions are a ploy from gods, then we just need to use their gifts and kill them."

Silence followed for several seconds and Venti broke it.

"Very well, if that's what you've decided on, then do so. However, please spare the other Archons."

"As expected of Yum-Yum! Killing gods! How exciting!" Barbara exclaimed joyfully.

"Barbara...is this really the best thing to say right now?" Yomite asked, worried for her.

"Yes!" She responded without hesitation, "It's so cool! I want to help Yum-Yum! I need to get stronger..."

"I actually planned to train with Lisa again, so if you want to, you can tag along..." Yomite offered, and Barbara's eyes lit up.

"...Of course! I'd love to!"

"Good."

Venti turned to Yomite and spoke, "I want to apologize to you for everything that happened just now. Please accept this as my apology..."

He stepped closer to him and hugged his arm tightly.

The move was weirdly intimate for the two men, and Yomite didn't like where this was going.

Venti gave him a shy smile before standing on his tiptoes and giving Yomite a quick peck on the cheek, which made him freeze instantly.

"No...no, no, no, no! We're not going this route! There shouldn't be any flags raised here! Don't even try something like this! I'm not attracted to men!" He shouted, but it was already too late.

"Ahaha...ahaha..." Venti laughed.

"What are you laughing about?! This isn't funny! This was just weird!"

"Weird? Why so? Don't friends kiss each other on the cheek when they greet each other or want to apologize? I'm sorry, I must have been mistaken then. That was all a mistake~" Venti replied with a big grin.

"No one kisses their guy friend on the cheek! And if they do, they don't walk up to them like this and hug their arm! Let go of my arm, you pervert!"

Yomite tried to pull his arm free, but Venti held on tight.

"I saw it in Master Diluc's tavern, that men kissed each other on the cheek sometimes. It's a custom of Teyvat to do so~"

"That's the biggest lie I've heard! You little perverted Archon brat!" Yomite shouted, trying to push Venti off, but he wouldn't budge.

Yomite was far stronger than Venti when it came to pure strength, but for some reason, Venti was able to hold onto him for longer than expected.

"Hey, stop it...! Let me go...let me go...!"

"Why? I just want to hug my friend!"

"Let me go, damn it! I'm not gay!"

"Anything goes in Mondstadt~" Venti teased. "One way, or another."

Barbara and Iris gazed at them with a fervor in their eyes.

It seemed that they had become fans of Venti's and Yomite's relationship and wanted to see them progress it...

"This is a first for me...I've never seen two boys like this before...So this is it...boys love...how wonderful. Noelle mention it to me before...but to think it would be this exciting seeing it right before my eyes...A beautiful feminine god and a tall handsome giant. They're sooo~ cute together...!" Barbara exclaimed.

Iris nodded, she didn't know what she was currently feeling but she couldn't deny the urge to watch and see what would unfold next...

"Good luck, Master!"

"Help me damn it! He is using Anemo power to stick close to me! What am I supposed to do!? Kill him!?"

Yomite shouted in frustration, while Venti giggled cheerfully.

"Ehe~ I am so glad to have met Yomite. My life would be so much harder if it weren't for him! What do you say, I am far prettier than any girl, would you take me in as well? I've heard you're building a harem. I can be very useful."

"I'm not building anything...and I believe I already told you, I am not into guys! I'm only interested in women!"

"I see, so you are not into men...Then, you won't mind if I was a girl, right? I'll become a woman for you!"

Yomite rolled his eyes, "Stop joking around! I would reject you either way, please leave already!"

Venti showed a big grin.

"I'm not joking around at the moment! I'm serious. I'll become a girl for you, Yomite. For everything you've done for me. You deserve it. I highly value you and I could imagine myself spending time with you."

"No way in hell! Absolutely not! You're crazy! It would be too weird! Why are both of the Archons such weirdoes!? I don't want to meet the other Archons if this is what I have to deal with constantly!"

"...But...you like girls...Then you won't mind if I became one, right? This body doesn't have a fixed gender, I can change it at will. I am a wind spirit, and thus my body is comprised entirely of Anemo energy, I can change the shape at will. I can transform into anyone and anything you want."

"..."

...

..

.

'He could transform into anyone I want...anyone I want...that does sound...tempting— NO! Do not fall for it!' Yomite's mind screamed.

He heard way too many weird things today and he could no longer operate normally.

He almost considered accepting...

"...Even this form I am currently taking is modeled after a good friend, who perished to make Mondstadt a better place..." Venti said softly, "Me, willing to change it for you, should tell you how serious I am."

"...I don't know what to say..." Yomite replied, "I just don't understand what you're thinking...Just keep this appearance...don't change anything and stay...my friend..."

...

..

.

"Alright, if that's what you want. Don't worry. I will always be by your side."

Those words made Yomite feel relieved.

Not because he was happy Venti had his back, but because he was relieved that he wouldn't try any weird stuff anymore...

Despite that, for some reason, Barbara seemed to be pouting.

She went over and hugged Yomite's other arm and glared daggers at Barbatos.

Her well endowed breasts pressed against his broad chest.

The two were engaged in a devious, indiscreet little hug which somehow felt right.

"I would say that's enough, Lord Barbatos..."

Seeing them become intimate, Venti felt a bit uncomfortable and finally let Yomite's arm go.

"H-Haha, yeah yeah. I apologize...Well...you guys enjoy yourselves. I am glad to have seen you all again...I...I have to go now...Oh, and before I forget, Deaconess Barbara do not worry, I haven't seen anything of you back then. I only saw Yomite's eyes pop out of their sockets when you showed him 'that'! See ya all later! Goodbye, Dvalin!" He waved to say goodbye and took his leave.

"Whose eyes popped out of their socket...little bastard...He finally left...say, what's up with you all of a sudden?"

"Well...I may have gotten slightly jealous that you spent more time with Lord Barbatos on MY date, than you did with me! This date was supposed to be about me! I guess I forgot myself and let it show! I apologize."

"Fair enough...I'll make it up to you on some other date then," Yomite replied, smiling faintly.

Barbara squeezed his arm a little tighter and leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"Maybe...tonight...?"

"...Yeah, tonight...we will have a good dinner."

"Huh...?" Barbara asked, "What do you mean...? That's not what I..."

"Let's wait until you're 18 years old. Hawk."

"Nooo! Why was I rejected when everything went so smoothly before!? How can I wait a whole year! That's too much! Yum-Yum don't run away! Say something!"

And so, Yomite and Barbara had their first date as a new couple, and all three of them returned to the mansion.

Yet even now, Yomite was still wondering why Venti acted as he did earlier.

He didn't quite understand the reasoning behind today's actions, but he had one thing he knew for sure:

Something wasn't right about Venti.

Visions...Iris and Venti's fear...

'Was he perhaps so afraid about something happening to Iris, that he wished to become my woman so he could keep her safe and live with us in the mansion...? Nah, that's too deep...Probably thinking way too deep into it...but there had to have been some sort of reason behind his actions...what was it...' he thought to himself, and he couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was amiss.