Ch19. A chat with Nick

"Four hundred thirty-two. Does that number ring any bell?"

Nick furrowed his eyebrows at that, thinking what the overgrown brat was talking about. Nothing really came to mind and there was still a chance Stark was just playing with him.

"The number of your sexual conquests?" Nick asked mockingly.

"Nah, that's thousand three hundred sixty-six. Oh, wait, no. Thousand three hundred sixty-seven now. I counted." Stark nonchalantly said and unrepentantly shrugged with a proud grin that made even Nick involuntarily deadpan at him.

Before Nick could provide his own snide remark in retaliation, most likely something about Stark being just full of sexually transmitted diseases today, Stark suddenly jerked his head to the left, narrowly evading a court shoe Black Widow threw at him before he expertly ignored the heated glare she was giving the back of his head.

Needless to say, Nick was impressed at Stark's balls of steel.

Nick was about to open his mouth again and this time, gain control of the conversation but somehow, Stark was faster.

"Yeah, yeah, Chuckles. I know. You are about to say something silly about my relationship with sexually transmitted diseases and I will say I had decades to get where I am now. We will laugh and share the stories of our youth but..." Stark boredly rolled his eyes. "Can we skip the foreplay, big guy? I am kinda not in the mood."

Nick glared at the computer screen from which Stark was looking at him as if he had him figured out. He glared because he had no idea how to react to... this. Nick could take on arrogant Stark. He could talk him in circles, trading one sarcastic quip for another but sharing nothing of importance during that exchange, buying the SHIELD technics the much-needed time to figure out how the heck were they hacked.

But... this Stark seemed uninterested in a verbal pissing contest which was weird. Nick knew Stark never said no to those.

"I will take your silence for consent." Stark said before throwing Nick a teasing grin, "And for your information, no, I have never had the need to say that to a girl. What do you take me for? You?"

Nick found himself involuntarily rolling his eye at that childish jab before he stopped himself and his glare only intensified. Stark got the rise out of him. The world must be ending...

"First, Agent Romanoff is now mine. You can't have her. Delete her from your database, burn her records, heck, send a cleaning lady into her room in SHIELD headquarters if you must but you will not get Red Curls back. You sent her to my company to spy... well, sucks to be you, I took a liking to her and intend to keep her as a pet. Don't worry, I will feed and clean her properly. I know how it's done, when I was younger I had a dog and..."

"Just... shut up." Nick ground out, rubbing the bridge of his nose while barely suppressing a groan and happy that Stark listened and stopped his rambling. It took him a few seconds to calm himself though. Seconds Stark for some reason graciously allowed him. Nick found that heavily suspicious but when he looked at Stark's face, he understood the little shit was enjoying this far too much.

Nick took a deep breath and looked behind Stark, straight at Black Widow. "Agent Rom-"

"Oh, hell nah!" Stark instantly interjected, pushing his chair forward and suddenly the whole screen was full of Stark's head. "You are flirting with me, Nicky! Leave my privatized Red Curls out of it, alright? We both know she would just fold under your manly super trained glare of domination. Good conditioning though. For future references, which pet trainer do you use? He must be quite effective! Is potty training included in the program? I wouldn't mind paying extra."

The prick looked positively genuine about the bullshit he was spouting and Nick wanted nothing more than starting to growl at him. He was starting to get under his skin.

"Why are you doing this?" Nick asked.

He knew Stark was compulsive but he was also smart. He clearly found out Natalie Rushman was a spy. Somehow. That probably led Stark to investigate further and possibly uncover the existence of SHIELD. That didn't sound too farfetched.

But SHIELD was supposed to have the best security systems in the world and for Stark to hack them to this degree... Nick was already planning to send some of his agents to confiscate whatever Stark used for this feat. Ha! Jokes on Stark. He knew where the little prick lived.

"Four hundred thirty-two." Stark idly hummed, "The number of charities the Stark Industries is currently supporting that are just a front for SHIELD's funding. How much of your funding do you get from me? Forty? Forty-two percent? Somewhere around that? And you didn't even come to say hi in the two decades I took over the company? Shame on you, Chuckles." He said in a mock-hurt tone and shook his head in a feigned disappointment.

That stopped Nick in his tracks and his plan to send agents over to Stark's house was quickly scrapped as he mentally cursed. To be honest, he totally forgot about that!

"Now, I am sure if I stopped this little expenditure of ours, SHIELD would survive but it will set you back by decades. Losing half of your funding with multiple important projects going on... I can only imagine the shit the World Council would give you." Stark cheekily wiggled his eyebrows, "Will they fire you? I don't know nor do I care but SHIELD would at the very least have to stop half of the shit it is currently doing. The ball is in your court."

Nick couldn't believe what he was hearing from Stark. The dipshit actually dared to- to... "Are you threatening me, Stark?" He menacingly asked, glaring at the computer screen in frustration and expertly covering the disbelief he was feeling.

"I am glad we are on the same page, Director." Stark replied with a charming smile, completely unbothered by the threatening glare of the spy head honcho. Fury had nothing on pissed off Thanos.

"You would go against the Last Wishes of your father?" Nick tried.

"Bitch, please! Emotional manipulation? Why did I expect anything different?" Stark dramatically exclaimed before sighing in dissapointment, "Well, fine. Just for your information, Stark Industries under my father was a multi-million company at best. I reckon we both know that. He was giving you a few million a year and his biggest use for your little secret organization was as a scientist and a founder. It was ME who made Stark Industries into a multi-billion company and unintendedly boosted your funding from Stark Industries into the multi-billion range per year. This money was not made by my father. They were made by me and I don't remember anyone asking my permission for taking them, you disrespectful swine." He said not in the expected angry tone but in a dry and deadpan one as if he was lecturing a particularly retarded kid while also inwardly pitying him with a serene but fake smile on his face.

"That's it? You just expect to tell me what you want and we will bend over to accommodate your wishes? Is that how you imagine this to go?" Nick lifted his eyebrow at Stark.

If Stark approached him with a different attitude, they could have had an alliance. Since Stark took a shine to Black Widow, Nick wouldn't be against keeping her on a permanent guard detail for Stark in exchange for some increased funding. She would have been missed in the field but...

As crass as it sounded if she could earn SHIELD millions by warming Stark's bed, her absence would have been worth it. She would still be an agent belonging to SHIELD and they could call her back to duty at moment's notice anyway.

Nothing lost, everything gained.

But this... this was Stark carelessly making enemies. He couldn't really expect SHIELD to submissively roll over for him, could he? America never negotiated with terrorists! He should know that! He was making the weapons that were being used to put down said terrorists.

Nick felt a bit disappointed.

On the screen, Stark just shrugged, his grin ever-present on his face. "Eh, not really. You don't have much I would want or need. Most of what you have was built for my money anyway. But just so we understand each other. Kree, Skrull, Flerken Goose, Carol Danvers... do I need to go on? I have much more you know? I think the public would be especially intereste-"

"I understand." Nick banged his fists on the table and gritted out, glaring at Stark for the very first time with fury present on his face.

"A pity, I was about to get to the juicy bits." Stark compassionately smiled as if he was doing Nick a favor.

Nick did understand. Stark got them by the balls. The havoc this kind of information could cause to the general public if it was just dumped on them... The disaster of SHIELD's existence being revealed... Worse yet, the problems that would come out if the public got to know about their covert operations...

Nick had no reason to doubt Stark had all this info. If he managed to get to the freaking reports about the Krull-Skree invasion and even dig deep enough to uncover Carol's part, then the guy could have had access to literally anything else. These files were about aliens for Christ's sake! They were the biggest secret SHIELD had!

Stark became a bigger problem than anybody ever predicted. Now, what to do...

"Oh, and don't think my death would solve this little problem of yours." Stark rolled his eyes as if he knew Nick was contemplating that solution. "If, and that's a very big if, you manage to kill me, your secrets will be out before my corpse hits the ground. I do specialize in technology, you know?"

"Anything else I could do for your Lordship?" Nick sarcastically asked, knowing he when he was beaten.

Oh, he would definitely try to contact Black Widow and get her back into the fold without Stark's knowledge but for now, it was better to retreat and silently wait.

"Since you are so graciously offering, then, yes! Of course, there is!" Stark arrogantly declared, "I will send you the files in a second. It was a lovely talk, Chuckles, but I am afraid, Red Curls is getting antsy. Gotta go, bye-bye."

The video call was cut short before a document opened on Nick's computer as he blankly stared at it.

"Of course, there is something more the little shit wants from us. Why the heck did I even bother asking?" He reprimanded himself and started reading the file. The further he got, the more his sole eye twitched. There was only one response to the shitstorm this day turned out to be...

"Motherfucker!"