Chapter 10: Jameson

She fell asleep crying, he could feel her tears on his chest. He never wanted to make her cry but he was speaking the truth. The king would never let them marry. Even if he agreed Jameson would never give up being the general of the army. He'd worked way to hard to get his position to just walk away. He couldn't, his men depended on him and he wouldn't leave them, not even for Annalise. He sighed, Annalise. She was everything he'd always dreamed of but it was too late for dreams. That was why he couldn't have her, he wouldn't ruin her. She would have to marry and when she did, she would be a virgin on her wedding night. His heart clinched in his chest at the thought of any other man... but that was how it had to be. He brushed her hair from her face, damn, she was beautiful. He was lucky to be this close to her. No other woman would ever make him feel this way, he knew it. But love was sacrifice, Cailan showed him that. He sighed. Calian... what would his brother think of him kissing her. Cailan had been in love with Annalise for a decade and he never made such a move. Cailan would probably tell him he was being rash and selfish. And maybe he was. Maybe being with Annalise like this, holding her, kissing her, was selfish but he didn't care. He knew where to draw the line and he wouldn't cross it. The rest was making memories to carry him through the rest of his lonely nights. He pulled her closer, he didn't want to think about being lonely while he had her in is arms. He closed his eyes resting his chin on head and drifted to sleep.

He awoke to the wonderful sensation of soft fingers running through his hair. "Good morning." She smiled.

At least she smiled at him, he thought she would be upset this morning. "Good morning. You slept well?"

"I did." She reached out touching the burn scars on his chest. "I still cannot believe I did this to you... I should have healed you that night."

He smiled taking her hand. "I don't mind them. I've many scars, Annalise. I am a warrior, it's part of my job description."

She scanned his chest and arms. "But these are my doing."

"Do you find them unsightly?"

She seemed to be lost in thought for a minute. "No. I still think you're the most handsome man I've had the privilege to know. But seeing how deep these scars run, I know how much pain you must have been in. And it was I who hurt you."

"That wasn't you, Annalise. That was your anger and magic taking over. You had no control."

"And that is what scares me the most... what if next time I kill you..." the pain in her voice hurt him.

"There won't be a next time. We'll work together, I'll teach you how to control your rage better."

"I... I have decided not to use any other magic than healing from now on."

He sat up. "Annalise, you're an Amell... magic is a huge part of you."

"I know." She had tears in her eyes. "But I'd rather forsake my name than ever hurt you again."

"Annalise... I..."

"You might not want it, but I love you, Jameson. I would do anything to ensure you are safe and happy."

He sighed. "You turning your back on such an incredible gift would not make me happy, Annalise."

"Could you kill me?" His eyes widened. "Could you cut me down if I lost control? It was a miracle I was able to be saved last time. We might not be so lucky the next."

He froze. Of course he wouldn't be able to kill her. The very thought made him want to vomit. "No."

"That settles it then." She got out of bed, her chemise showing her delightful body, and smiled. "Let's not talk of these things anymore. We should return to the cabin, I'm sure the the lieutenant is worried."

He nodded. "Yes. I am sure."

She pulled on her gown turning so that he could lace her corset. Once he finished she turned to him smiling. "Then we must return. Perhaps there has been word from father."

He smiled at her. "Perhaps. Let me dress and we will say our goodbyes to Andres."

She nodded as he pulled on his clothes then they walked down the stairs. When they entered the parlor Andres stood from his seat at the table. "You're leaving, I take it."

"Yes. I cannot take you enough for caring for us. I might have lost him if not for you." She smiled so beautiful as she reached up pulling her diamond earrings from her ears. "Here. I must insist you take these in form of payment."

"I couldn't possibly..."

She smiled. "I know the cost of healing herbs... besides what are useless trinkets in comparison to the life of the man I love."

Andres smiled. "If you insist. Thank you, your highness."

He panicked slightly stepping forward to protect her but she laughed. "You knew who we were all along?"

Andres smiled. "I was the royal herbalist for three decades. I watched you grow up. Besides, you look just like your mother... I'd know you anywhere."

Jameson sighed. "Then I suspect you know the trouble we are in."

Andres nodded. "I do. And I wish you luck, General. It's a long road ahead of you. But you will always have an ally in me."

Jameson reached out shaking his hand. "Thank you, Andres. I am sorry for the deception."

"I understand entirely. There are many people after the princess. I've heard the talk in town. You did what you had to in order to ensure her safety. I would have done the same for the woman I loved."

Jameson smiled as he watched Annalise blush and hug Andres. "Thank you, Andres!"

He nodded as they left walking through the small town toward Thorngate. He grabbed her hand pulling her to his side and they walked the streets as a couple would. After a few minutes she sighed. "Why are they all staring at us?"

"You're a very beautiful woman, Annalise, wearing a very expensive gown in a town where you are a stranger. Of course they stare."

She blushed and he sighed as blonde woman he recognized from the tavern stormed towards them. "General! You've been absent from the town here of late! And who might this be?"

He sighed. "Hello, Helena. This is Lady Anna of Cattern. My wife."

Her eyes widened. "Wife?! I've heard no mention of a wife. What must poor Allaree think..."

He tensed at her name but thankfully Annalise stepped forward to defend him. "We are newly wed. A match made by the king. I don't know this Allaree but she is no longer in the picture. Might I ask how you know my husband?"

"All the lady's in town know your husband. He's made his rounds." She grinned. "You poor dumb girl, the king married you to the biggest philanderer in Morea."

He stepped forward hoping to protect Annalise but she just giggled. "As if I don't know that you speak from a place of jealousy."

Helena gasped. "I... There was a girl before Allaree! Her name was..."

"Enough, Helena." Jameson sighed.

Annalise tightened her grip on his hand. "I am aware that Jameson isn't perfect. But I love him nonetheless. You've the answers you came for, so be off won't you."!Helena grunted turning on her heel. Once she was gone Annalise turned and looked into his eyes. "The hurt on your face is clear. I won't ask, but know I am worried."

He pulled her into his embrace. She felt incredible in his arms. "Thank you, Annalise."

She kissed his cheek and then took his hand walking towards the fort. Within twenty minutes they were back at the cabin and he heated water for her to bathe. As he was sitting outside the lieutenant walked up. "General?! Where have you been? Is the princess with you?"

"We had a situation but we are both fine. She's bathing as we speak."

The lieutenant nodded. "I see. I was worried but I couldn't send men looking for you. She is safe?"

He nodded. "She is."

"Excellent. I've a letter form the main camp."

Jameson took the letter and gave it a quick read. "He wants me to send Annalise alone?!"

"So it seems."

"No. I won't send her alone through hostile territory."

"It was an order."

"One I will not obey." He sighed. Never before would be disobey an order from the king but he couldn't send Annalise to the crown city alone. It was far to dangerous. Even when he planned to send her back he was doing so with a company of armed men. "If she must return, I am going with her."

"Of course." The Lieutenant nodded.

"Could you bring me my coin and my horse. I will need to take Annalise shopping. I can't have her traveling in what she brought with her. It will draw too much attention."

"I agree. I will have your things to you by morning. Would you like a horse for the princess?"

"Yes. I'm sure she can ride."

The lieutenant nodded and left and shortly after the cabin door slowly opened. "So, there was word from my father?"

"He asked for you."

She stepped forward throwing herself into his arms. He held her tightly as her body shook with sobs. After a couple minutes she pulled back just far enough to look into his eyes. "I am happy he is well but why would he ask for me to come alone? Is he no longer concerned for my safety? What if it's a trap?"

"I am not sending you alone. I am going with you. I won't allow anything to happen to you, Annalise."

"You can't... you've been given an order. I can't jeopardize your position as General. I know what it means to you."

"I could care less if it was an order." And he didn't care. He could not send Annalise into a war zone unprotected. "I said I would protect you and I meant it, Annalise." He scooped her up carrying her inside. He didn't want anyone else to see her in her chemise, it was selfish but he didn't care. He wanted to be the only one to see her like this. He sat on the bed tucking her head under his chin as he stroked her back. Her skin was so wonderfully soft he couldn't stop from tracing his fingers up her spine and then along her collar bone. Her back arched and he quickly turned laying her on the bed. He kissed down her neck, his tongue tracing her collarbone and she moaned. His hands ran up her sides and into her hair as his mouth found hers. She surprised him when she reached up wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him even closer to her. Their tongues danced and felt her hips starting to move beneath him. He felt himself ready for her and he pulled away moving across the room. "I'm sorry, Annalise. I almost..."

She stood adjusting her chemise. "I... wanted you to. But I know it's bad timing."

"I still cannot be that man for you, Annalise."

"Do you not love me?"

"Of course I do." He sighed. "That is why I won't ruin you."

"I.. I see." She smiled weakly. "I guess I should thank you then..."

She sounded defeated and it killed him. Annalise... if we marry, I will... happily have you more times than you can possibly stand... but if that is not to be, you will be a virgin for your husband."

She shook her head. "I don't understand. Those other girls, you didn't care if they were pure for their husbands?"

"Those other girls weren't princesses."'He sighed.

"Oh, so if I were low born you would have bedded me?"

"No. Damn it, Annalise!" He sighed running his hand through his hair. "I didn't love most of those other girls... I didn't care what was said about them. But if I have to hear some noble bad mouth you, I would probably hurt him. In fact I know I would."

She nodded smiling slightly. "I understand. And though I wouldn't care so long as I got the pleasure of knowing you, I respect you're decision. It comes from a place of respect and love."

He smiled. She was something else. "Thank you."

"You don't have to answer but when you said you didn't love most of those girls..."

He sighed. There was no avoiding this conversation now. In a way she deserved to know, he knew about her first love. "Her name was Kyria. We met when I was first stationed at Thorngate, about seven years ago. She was the daughter of a shop keeper and I fell for her so easily. I had convinced her to marry me someday so we decided not to wait to be intimate. But she got pregnant... and when her father found out he beat her to death in a fit of rage..."

"By the Seven... I am sorry I asked, Jameson."

"No, it's all right. I rarely get to talk about Kyria."

"Are you afraid something similar might happen to me?"

He stiffened. Maybe he was, though he hadn't thought about it. The king could never harm his beloved daughter but he thought the same of the shop keep who murdered Kyria. Maybe he was scared. He wasn't sure. "I don't really know. It's possible."

She walked over and kissed his cheek. "Okay. I understand now. Let's sleep?"

He nodded climbing into bed with her. She laid her head on his chest and quickly fell asleep. He laid there for a while longer running his fingers through her hair before he drifted off.