Thoughts Like Monsters
The name was so familiar, but no face seemed to match it but the golden haired man. He was the last thing you wanted and the thought of his name alone made you writhe in pain. Nothing was putting you asleep and Lucifer was pacing the floor beneath you. You longed for the man named Gabriel, feeling guilty about it. So this is what the fight had been about Gabriel and Lucifer had been about. Had you known each other? Had you loved him? Had he loved you? You missed something you'd seemingly never had. After hours of tossing and turning, you gathered the courage to walk down the stairs. Lucifer was lounging comfortably in a chair with a glass of scotch in one hand. "(Y/n), I'm sorry, I--" You held up a hand and he stopped. "Forget it. I'm just not ready yet," you said in a small voice. "I'll be here when you are," he said, his eyes shining. He polished off the rest of the drink and rose from his chair. "Hungry? I can make some mean pancakes." he said, clapping his hand together. You smiled and said, "A two-year-old can make mean pancakes, Luce." He went to the kitchen and snapped his fingers, making the supplies appear. "Let's get this party started!" he screeched as the music came from nowhere.
Well, eggs, pancake mix, and syrup were everywhere when he was done. Honestly, he'd burned four of them for every good one he made, but they weren't terrible. Your favorite music was still there, but some strange songs you'd never heard before. Older songs, harder. AC-DC, Led Zepplin, Van Halen. After three pancakes, a book teetering on the edge of the fireplace caught your eye. You put your plate in the sink, filled a glass with the sweet wine you'd come to love, and scooped it up. , it read. Leaning up against the brick side of the fireplace, you put the glass gently down and fingered lightly through the book. The pages were beginning to yellow with age, the bottoms worn by years of reading, and the words starting to fade. "The world had become too cold and confusing and chaotic to bear. She stopped reminding herself of her name. She decided that she would like to die," you murmured under your breath. "Want me to read it to you?" offered Lucifer. "No, thank you. This book, it needs to be pondered over in the silence of my own mind. Some books should be tasted. Some devoured. But only a few should be chewed and digested thoroughly," you said, looking up to him and smiling. The fire was dulling, a simple crackle here and there. He raised his hand to snap, but you spoke up. "I love fires like this, small, but still so lethal." He lowered his hand and you delved into the book.
The snow had stopped falling and began to melt. Everything was cozy inside and the book had done its job of distracting you from the name bouncing around in your head. The silence was comforting, even Lucifer's watchful stare made you feel a little better. "You'd never hurt me, right, Luce?" you piped up randomly. "I wouldn't dream of it," he replied. "Leave me to be happy, love me from afar, even if it killed you? Never try and take me from what I need and what I want more than anything?" He hesitated before saying, "No." You looked up at him with hopeful eyes. "Okay." There was a sound like braying outside and you went to the window. "Oh, no," you whispered in horror. You dropped the glass of wine and ran out the door. It shattered behind you, but you didn't care.
A man was standing, about to shoot the fawn you'd seen yesterday. "Don't shoot!" you screamed. The man pulled the trigger and you flung yourself in front of the fawn. The bullet went right above your hip and stayed put. The fawn was looking at you with terrified eyes full of pity. The man gasped and you raised your hand in a "Get out" motion, but he flew backwards. Lucifer opened the door after you and ran to you. "Stop, don't come any closer!" you warned him. The bullet wound hurt worse than anything, but you made the buck your priority. "(Y/n), let me get to you or you might pass you." Steps closer. "" He froze and the buck came trotting up to you. You bowed to it as low as you could without crying in pain. Blood was starting to flow over your hand and it hit the snow. The buck snorted, pawed at the ground, then bowed in return. You stayed in that position and his antlers came into view as his head met with yours. His dark eyes were calm and he snorted again. Blinking slowly, you backed away until Lucifer's chest met with your back. The family of deers didn't move, just watched as Lucifer carried you in his arms inside.
His hand started to glow before he even set you down. It got brighter and brighter, holding it firmly on top of the wound. It just slowed the bleeding at most. "The hell?" he yelled, obviously angry. "Luce..." you whimpered. It was cold and you didn't want to die again. Not yet. The buck had accepted you, a crazy hard thing you'd always wanted to do. "Shut up, (Y/n), you'll be fine. I just, damn!" he growled, hand lighting again. Gabriel's face flashed across your mind again. you thought. You didn't want to die without knowing what you had. Lucifer ran a hand through his blond hair and he sighed.
"She needs her Guardian."