Berserk-*Cough* Archer!!!

In a dark room lit up by the glowing buttons of various large and futuristic pieces of machinery a woman appearing in her early 20's is typing on a large computer. She has short messy purple hair, comically large round lens glasses preventing her eyes from being seen through the glare, and a lab coat over a classic sailor uniform.

As she mumbles incoherently to herself and takes a swig directly from a wine bottle labeled 'Bernkastel' that rests on the desk next to her the lights in the building start turning on one by one starting from the door on the far side of the room all the way up until it reaches the lamp directly above her head.

"*Sigh,* Do you always have to make an entrance like that?" The woman in the lab coat asks not bothering to take her eyes off of the computer.

"Well of course even now I haven't lost my flair for the dramatics." Another girl who simply appeared at the door responds, she wears a large white fur coat and a sleeveless one-piece mini skirt. A silence falls over the two as the new younger looking girl peruses through the various pieces of extremely advanced looking equipment. As she strolls around she stops in front of what looks like a jet with two large blue pieces and yellow-tipped wings.

"Is this a replica of the Arwing?" The girl asks curiously,

"What do you think?"

"Does it work?" The younger girl asks ignoring the scientists obvious sarcasm,

"Sure if you believe hard enough." The older woman responds blandly,

"You really are just so boring. This is why I've always preferred Tsun over Kuu." The young girl pouts,

"I'm sorry but not everyone can live as carefree a life as you. I don't just steal everything I want. I work for it." The older woman's voice sounds ever so slightly more hostile as she says this though she still doesn't pause in her typing.

"Was that a jab because I can't use my mystic eyes or are you being serious?" The playful question seems to break something in the older woman who slams her hands on her desk and spins around to meet the younger girl now with a gun drawn.

The moment the sound of the pistol being fired is let out, the younger girl's head explodes, sending blood and brain matter all over the jet they had just been conversing about.

"5, 4, 3, 2, ...1" The lab coat wearing purplette counts down not dropping her gun, and just as she gets to one the other girl stands up quickly and almost unnaturally,

"Hey, what was that for!" Not giving an answer the older woman fires 5 more shots into the girl's body which crumples onto the floor.

"How incredibly rude of you Julia! From this point on you're no longer invited to my birthday parties~" The younger girl's voice echoes around the room with the body no longer even twitching.

"What's your game in all of this?"

"What do you mean?"

"You can't just be doing all of this just for the sake of it, so what are you planning?"

"Let me get this straight… You want me to just tell you what I'm planning? I thought you were supposed to be the smartest version of me…"

"I'm smart enough to at least try and get the information straight from the devil's mouth." As the older woman says this the lights in the room turn off once again and the screen changes to a video chat with the younger one on the other side, this causes the lab coat wearing lady to put her gun away and sit back down,

"The devil is known for lying though~, oh wait, wait, wait that's your schtick, not mine! I've never been great at lying, you know? I am Minori Matou after all..."

"I don't lie. I merely leave out important information. And even if I was the devil what would that make you?"

"An angel?" Minori answers placing a single finger on her cheek quizzically,

"I'll ask again, what are you planning Minori." Julia's voice rather than simply sound cold is a great deal more serious as she crosses her arms over her chest.

"How about I ask you a question instead. What are YOU planning? I mean did you think I of ALL PEOPLE wouldn't notice you getting yourself recorded into the throne of heroes?" The computer screen becomes darker as for just a moment Minori's hair color flickers.

"Of course I knew. I didn't think you'd feel so threatened by that, however." The glare in Julia's glasses changes just enough as she says this to reveal a single determined purple eye.

"You do know that people may end up confusing us right? If you're summoned you may not even have any of your actual noble phantasms~" The words don't seem like a question despite the way it's said it seems much more like a provocation.

"I'm willing to take that risk if I have to…"

"HAHAHAHA! Oh alright, alright, since you're just so cute I'll let this slide. It'll be fun seeing you realize how much of a waste it is. Bye, Bye~" With that mocking farewell the screen goes black leaving Julia in almost complete darkness,

--

(Rin POV)

Groggily I open my eyes and slowly rise out of bed letting my now messy hair fall into my face.

I had known that Masters and servants often exchange memories through dreams however this is the first time it has happened for me,

"Why was Minori there though?" I mutter to myself as my eyes slide to the caster class card on my bedside dresser, it glows quietly as if the servant inside were waiting to be summoned.

'So now you want to be summoned huh?' The first time the card appeared it came with an infuriating little note from what's supposed to be my SERVANT saying not to summon them unless it's an emergency. Of course, I tried summoning them anyway to give them a piece of my mind but the card exploded! It was a small dud and was mostly smoke but still…

Before I can decide whether I want to chuck the card out the window for the 30th time since I realized the grail war was a sham all along or finally give up on it and go back to bed the sudden ringing of my phone interrupts my glaring. Looking at who it is I feel my back instinctively straighten and whatever tiredness I may have once had leaves me.

"What do you want Shirou?"

"I just wanted to know if you were alright… you didn't come to school yesterday." The genuine concern in the stupid boy's voice dissipates my previous anger entirely,

"You still went to school Shirou? That has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard… even from you."

"Hehehe I guess." I can almost hear him rubbing the back of his head,

"It's not just 'I guess' Shirou, what if you get attacked?" I question him sternly,

"Well, I don't think anyone would attack me at school though…"

"Really Shirou? Shinji, Minori, Manaka? Those names ring any bells for you?"

"I know you don't like Minori and Manaka but what's wrong with Shinji?"

"No matter what Shinji is always going to take Minori's side even though he knows she's crazy! He's probably crazy too; him being a Matou it wouldn't be out of place." As I pace around my room I can't help but think about Minori's eyes. It was from the very first time I met her I knew she was crazy. Not because of anything she did and not because of anything she did, but because of the way she looked at me. It was as if she wasn't looking at a person but instead a 'thing.' It was even more noticeable with how different her gaze was when it was pointed towards Shinji. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me very much if their relationship wasn't as wholesome as it seems.

"Minori isn't crazy… I think she's just in the chunibyo part of her life." He says delusionally,

'I wonder if Shirou is crazy too…'

"Shirou a 'chunibyo' faze would have her running around trying to cast spells not FORGETTING THAT THE GRAIL DOESN'T GRANT WISHES! So many generations of our families have been killing each other for nothing Shirou!" With that yell, the strength in my body seems to leave me and I flop back onto my bed unceremoniously. After what feels like a few minutes of uncomfortable silence I shift onto my side and curl in on myself, slightly unable to stop my worries from escaping my throat.

"What are we going to do Shirou? If we don't kill each other we'll probably all end up like Kiritsugu and if we do… we get nothing but a stupid cup that doesn't even do its job." After a few more moments of silence, Shirou once again speaks,

"I'm coming over Rin, I'm sure we can find a way to make sure everyone comes out alive."

"...Alright Shirou…"

"See you in a bit." With that final statement, the phone in my hand beeps quietly to signify that he's hung up,

Truthfully this is probably exactly why even if Shirou could be considered crazy too with his delusional dream of becoming a hero of justice he's genuinely a good person. Perhaps too good for his own good, but people like him are hard to come by, most people only ever do things expecting something in return.

Letting out a deep sigh I think about my conversation with Shirou a bit more and realize something important,

"Shirou's coming over!" I yell while jumping out of bed to get ready,

--

Just as I finish getting ready a knock comes from my front door. Clearing my throat I open the door to reveal a familiar redhead that happens to have very nice hands.

"You know Shirou usually you ask to be invited rather than just invite yourself." I scold him while moving from the doorway so he can enter.

"Yeah sorry, just thought you might need someone to talk to…"

"Huhhh?!? As if Shirou!" I exclaim,

Laughing awkwardly Shirou makes his way to my living room,

"Rin what if we convince everyone not to fight?" Shirou asks while taking a seat on my coach,

"Mm Mm, the longer the grail goes without being used the more it'll start taking the life spans of the masters by force." I answer with a shake of my head,

"Well maybe-" before Shirou can finish his suggestion the ringing of his phone interrupts him,

"It's an unknown number…" He says confused, seeing it's an unknown number he hangs up but the very next second the phone rings again,

"Just put it on silent Shirou." When he goes to hang up so he can turn his phone off the button simply vanishes leaving only the answer one.

"..." Both of us stare at the phone in an ominous silence waiting for the ringing to stop though with every moment it seems to grow louder and louder until I can hear it as if it were directly in my ears.

Steeling himself slightly Shirou answers the phone making sure to put it on speaker,

"Can mew imyagine an imyaginyary mewnyagerie mewnyager imyagining mewnyaging an imyaginyary mewnyagerie? Test! Test!" A childish and oddly familiar voice yells on the other side of the line,

"Who-" Shirou begins only to interrupted once,

"Oh, craparu it's only on voice! I even dressed up though~ One moment please!" The voice says then the call changes to a video chat revealing a girl with white hair and red feline-like eyes accompanied by a cheshire cat grin permanently plastered to her face. Her face is so close to the screen that it could almost be comical.

"Oh, it's working! You see, I'm not nearly as skilled with electronics as that nameless scientist." She says apologetically while moving away from the camera revealing she's wearing a bartender uniform with dress shorts.

"Who are you," I ask putting my face closer to Shirou's to see the girl on the screen better,

"Who am I? Well, I've been called a great many things, I was even mistaken for an author self-insert by a certain lavender-haired girl on the moon, however, only one name is correct!" She pauses for a moment after closing her eyes dramatically before once again opening them and pointing at the sky,

"And It's Not Atlas!" She exclaims almost proudly,

""What?"" Both Shirou and I say in confusion,

"Ah I messed it up I meant that you can call me Atlas, your beautiful guardian angel!" I don't like her already. She reminds me a lot of… someone, for some reason the name escapes me right now but I'm sure I know her from somewhere.

"So Atlas isn't your real name?" Shirou asks,

"Correctomundo Mr. backseat protagonist!" Shirou tilts his head slightly at this title am yet again the nagging feeling of familiarity rises,

'I'm sure I know someone else that's prone to giving people ridiculous nicknames.'

"The fact that you won't tell us your real name already means we can't trust you." To my words, the white-haired girl lowers her head slightly so her bangs cast a shadow over her eyes which sends a shiver down my spine. I can see that she is focusing all of her attention on me now,

"Oh dear, and I was so sure you'd want to hear this… I mean you guys aren't going to figure out how to end this grail war by sitting around talking for yet another chapter in this little… story." Her voice drops showing some semblance of anger or impatience.

"What are you talking about? You know how to end the grail war?"

"Of course!" Atlas exclaims regaining her cheerful demeanor,

"Can we put an end to this for good without killing anyone?" Shirou asks almost desperately though I guess you could also pass it off as passionate,

"Hmmm yes, that is a possibility Nya~"

"That sounds too good to be true…"

"And it would be if it weren't me being the one giving you this offer." She pauses for a moment as if waiting for us to comment before she continues on,

"Now the way to do this is simple all you gotta do is capture a certain cat thief and then BAM the holy grail will appear and Shirou can cut it to pieces although it would cost him his life~"

"What do you gain by telling us this?"

"Hmmm? I get a good story obviously~ although I guess that answer won't slide with you… hmmm~ how about I get to watch you guys squirm? Or maybe-"

"She isn't going to give us a straight answer." I say turning to Shirou who seems to visibly be thinking about what the strange girl had told us,

"You don't actually believe her do you?" I ask raising my eyebrow slightly, he looks at me from the corner of his eye for a moment,

"I believe her… don't ask me why but I don't think she's very good at lying."

"He's right you know I'm a terrible liar~"

"Why does that also sound like a lie?"

"Because everything I say sounds like a lie?" Deadpanning I can't exactly argue with her, no matter what she says she's so sketchy I wouldn't be able to believe it.

"Who's the cat thief?" Shirou questions,

"Ah well I could tell you but unfortunately we are out of time~" Atlas pulls out a pocket watch from her breast pocket as she says that in a mockingly sing-song tone which makes me think she's probably lying.

"By the way, you might want to watch out… True Archer is outside~" With those final words Shirou's phone screen turns off and I suddenly find myself groggily opening my eyes.

'Why am I on the ground?' I think as I slowly push myself back to my feet, I look up to see Shirou blinking sleep from his eyes before they suddenly sharpen as flames erupt from his right hand forming into a beautiful yet generic-looking katana.

"Rin, we need to get out of here…" His serious tone knocks whatever sleep might have been left in me as he grabs my hand and rushes us out the door. Not even two seconds after we leave an explosion erupts from my house engulfing half of it in fire.

"What the hell was that!?!" I scream,

"It seems like Atlas wasn't lying about Archer." He says while staring at the top of a nearby building, looking in the same direction I see an eight-foot tall red-skinned man with long black hair carrying a great bow. Standing beside him is a crimson-eyed girl with long white hair and almost deathly pale skin.

"That's Archer?" I say in disbelief almost unable to take my eyes off his almost glowing muscles. Even from this distance, I can feel the purity in his Od which has my hands shaking slightly.

'This guy is on an entirely different level.' I think as he notches another arrow into his bow, jumping in front of me with his katana Shirou blocks the arrow which moved far faster than I could react. Just the force alone nearly sends Shirou tumbling into me,

"You guys are so unlucky I almost feel bad." The white-haired girl says playfully,

"Rin you need to run away…"

"What! You can't possibly think you can fight that guy alone!" Though he stays quiet at my statement I already know what he's likely thinking. If I stay here I won't be much help but even if I try to run, what's stopping Archer from firing at my unprotected back?

A trickle of sweat runs down my face as Archer fires yet another shot which is just barely blocked by Shirou.

'Why aren't the arrows exploding like the first one?' I wonder before my eyes widen slightly with the formation of an idea. Although perhaps guess would be a better word.

Riding on the winds of my hunch I dash from behind Shirou's back and watch as Illya's eyes trace me but neither she nor Archer makes any moves towards me.

Seeing that my hunch is right and that she really is mostly focused on Shirou and even holding back for some reason, pointing my hand I fire a Gandr at Illya. Seeing my attack coming easily she takes a step back causing Archer to take the blow without so much as a flinch. Illya visibly smiles at this, making me grit my teeth in frustration, though without having to protect me Shirou is holding his own pretty well in the face of an onslaught of arrows cutting through each one like butter.

"Tehehe, if you really want to play that badly then here." Pulling out two pieces of hair Illya forms two crystalline bird-like familiars which immediately begin firing blue blasts my way forcing me to switch my focus somewhat to them.

Firing Gandr after Gandr at the familiars they dodge each and every one. The best I can do is counter their blasts with my own.

'I should retreat, but I can't leave Shirou here on his own,' I think, though I continue to take steps back, unable to keep up with the pressure posed by the two familiars.

Shirou seeing my struggle suddenly forms another sword with fire which soars towards the two familiars much to Illya's surprise. The sword effortlessly cuts through the familiars and thinking quickly I throw a red gem towards Archer which detonates prematurely as an improvised smoke screen.

"Shirou we can use this chance to-" I begin reaching my hand out to the boy only to feel two warm spots, one on my chest and another on my abdomen. Falling face first into the ground the warm blood quickly spreads forming a pool around my body. Oddly though somehow the golden caster class card rests right next to my hand and as the blood envelops it the colors seem to grow darker.

"Did you honestly think I'd only have two familiars? I must have forgotten to tell you, I always keep two on standby. You know, just in case~" The taunt from the white-haired girl barely registers in my ear due to another voice taking center stage, a familiar voice of a lab coat-wearing scientist from my dream.

"I'd like to make this quick since I have an appointment at 9:PM to keep." I flat voice says simply seemingly without a single care as to the danger of the master-servant pair currently standing in front of them.

--

Heracles (Archer)

Strength: A

Endurance: B

Agility: A

Mana: A

Luck: B

NP: A++

--

Class Skills

Independent Action (A): Allows a servant to be capable of going an entire week without a master as long as they don't use any particularly strenuous noble phantasms.

Magic Resistance (A): Cancels out all A rank or below spells making Heracles immune to modern Magi.

--

Personal Skills

Divinity (B+): As a child of Zeus Heracles boasts a considerable amount of divinity. So much so that that it can easily be felt by the purity of his Od

Valor (A+): Negates just about all mental interferences and increases damage done through hand-to-hand combat.

--

Noble Phantasms

God Hand (B): A noble phantasm that gives Heracles 12 lives representing his 12 labors.

Nine Lives (A+): Draws out the maximum power of any weapon Heracles uses turning a regular spear into the 'greatest' spear and a regular bow into the greatest bow. It is used in the form of a high-speed attack that attacks 9 times so quickly that they overlap and make it seem like 100 strikes.