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Fate/Fisted

'If violence isn't solving all your problems, you simply aren't using enough of it.' Shitty day at work cause your boss wants you to do overtime? Punch him. Kids giving you problems? Punch 'em. Supernatural entities trying to fuck with you? Punch 'em. Demon Gods trying to destroy to humanity? Punch the ever-living shit out of 'em. Nicholas Martel is the sort of man who can and will solve any and all problems by beating the shit out of them. Young masters and even tsunderes beware, his hands are rated e for absolutely everyone. - Obligatory; All rights go their respective owners, I own nothing except my OCs. And, don't translate or 'share' my stuff, much obliged.

Bleap · 漫画同人
分數不夠
90 Chs

G-Good Luck

Nicholas groaned and rubbed his eyes, turning his head around to see foliage and old trees with a destroyed chunk of land beyond them that looked like it'd been bombarded by artillery... though he figured there wasn't much of a difference considering this was the aftermath of his 'humane' neutralisation of a rogue Martha.

He would never admit it had hurt him to the point he didn't want to think about it.

"G-Good morning." Jeanne greeted him from the campfire, sitting with her hands wrapped around her bare knees... a stack of branches lying near her and it was only then that he noticed something was off.

You see, as a man with a habit of spending most of his time outside, there'd been more than one occasion in his life where he'd slept out under the cover of fuck all, punching any wild animal that thought it was gonna fuck up his day.

Sooo, noting his current situation to be one of those, he'd just sat down with his back to a tree and gone to sleep cause any good boy needed a full eight hours of sleep lest he put his grind to waste.

The grass was comfortable enough and he dared any bug to try to get through his skin.

Therein came the problem, he hadn't covered himself with anything but right now, his body was covered by a distinctly familiar pitch black cloak with similarly coloured fur at it's head.

The pale haired teenager's lips curled into a small smile, "Appreciate it."

He definitely didn't want to say he didn't need it.

"But you shoulda kept it for yourself."

"...Servants don't feel the weather." The girl explained quietly, tracing her finger right above the fire making the flame move along with it, "I wouldn't know but... y-you looked like you did."

"Nah, lady. Ya boi's tougher than some punk weather."

Nicholas bumped his fist against his chest, slowly getting up.

"...Are you a kid?"

The self-proclaimed Dragon With giggled slightly, visibly surprising even herself and Nicholas too, "...Damn girl, I was kinda regretting blabbering but damn... No take backs now." He tried to fold the cloak properly but failed completely and started eyeballing the piece of cloth.

He then punched it to straighten out the sides.

"H-Hey! You'll ruin it!" Jeanne hastily got up and ran to him, tearing her cloak away from his hands... well, she tried to, "Who told you you needed to fold it?"

Nicholas eyed her flatly, "It's cause I got manners and shit."

"Yeah, you're the very symbol of manners..." Jeanne deadpanned at his behaviour, and held out her hand like a kid, "Give it over, I'll just put it on like it is."

"Huh... You know you're being way cuter than before..."

The 'Witch' paused, before she flushed instantly.

"S-Stop trying to distract me with your words!"

"Nah, really though, you was acting like a husk before... Now you're like a goth chick with a side of gap moe." Nicholas nodded slowly, mentally praising himself for the genius analogy his brain had graciously allowed him to think up, "It's honestly way ho-"

"...I-Is it bad?"

Nicholas paused for a moment before shaking his head with a sigh, "Nope not at all, it's awesome. I'm real proud of you." He ruffled her hair with a small smile, but... there was this odd sense of deja vu when he thought about her behaviour.

"..." Jeanne nodded slowly, not meeting his gaze... though the fact that her ears were red told everybody what they needed to know.

"Now then, peace." He gave her a small salute, "I'mma do a man's job and track down some grub. Artoria replaced all my stuff with her damn snacks. I had protein bars and powder in here, can you believe that woman?"

He took off his manny pack, opening the zipper and shoving his free hand inside... The manny pack had been the sole reason he'd been punching fires and almost everything that came his way instead of tanking it and hitting back twice as hard.

Nicholas pulled out several packets of chips and chocolate bars, "You want some?"

"...Who's Artoria?" Jeanne latched onto the wrong thing.

"The scourge of all things edible... I'mma bet if you released her on some unknown land, she'd cause a whole ass famine. But, she a cool cat."

"Give me it, everything..." She held her hands out with an eerie calmness that should've raised some brows.

"...Uh... sure. I guess?"

Nicholas handed over his manny pack, still confused... Artoria could just pick up some more back at Chaldea.

Jeanne nodded at him before looking around, probably to check if Marie and Mozart were around before conviction flashed in her eyes and she nodded to herself with clenched fists. She then stood on the tip of her shoes, leaning on Nicholas' shoulder, and gave him a small peck on the cheek with red cheeks that were further highlighted by her pale complexion.

"G-Good luck."

"You taking that role way too seriously." Nicholas touched his cheek strangely, "But, I wouldn't be a man if I complained."

The pale haired teenager left with a small smile.

Since the bane of all enemies, Gudako was here, with Yu as reserve, wasn't it cool if he kicked back and enjoyed himself a bit?

Though that meant he was going to find that fucking kiddie diddler and go exterminatus on his ass.

-

"I feel a disturbance in the force, as if I have been terribly wronged and must make the perpetrator pay that price in BLOOD. Phoooo."

"Mom, chill the fuck out. Stop saying those goddamn lines. They're cool but they don't make you cool... And take off that damn paper bag, it's not a mask!" Mordred groaned to the skies, trying to stop her 'mother' from making an embarrasment of herself, "What the fuck even is 'phoo'? You seriously tryna replicate the sound too?"

Artoria looked at her with apprehensive eyes, face expressionless, "Why? It is not often that a tyrant like myself praises another tyrant... This Vader person is someone to look up to... I even stol- appropriated Master's unique weapon for it." She held out the light saber Nicholas had on his person at all times, switching it on with a strange glint in her eyes.

"Execute Order 66."

"..." Mordred took in a deep breath, "That's a different fucking character!"

Ignoring her mother, Mordred took a glance at the soldiers they'd gained since they started on this 'campaign' and couldn't help but sigh again... Somehow, their contigent had fucking grown instead of decreasing in size!

They apparently wanted to avenge their King and retake what was theirs.

And there were a lot more of them than she could have expected.

-

"I wasn't expecting to see a Jap out here in France... and who the fuck is that cutting board?" Nicholas stood in a ruined town, with smoke billowing out of destroyed buildings and rubble marring what was probably once a sight to behold, "Can any of you ladies direct me to the nearest McDonalds?"

No, he didn't care that they were at each other's throats when he arrived here.

"McDonalds? What is that?... Are you trying to deceive me with strange words? Is that it? ..." The 'Jap', a green haired lady in a traditional dress with two small white horns on her head, giggled eerily, "Is that it?"

The pink haired girl in a silly dress, 'flat board', looked around in confusion, trying to locate the second person he was referring to... Long dark pink horns extended from either side of her head and her fingers were claws…

"...This place is like a circus at this point." Nicholas remarked to himself… Weren't the servants in this singularity too all over the place as compared to Fuyuki?

"He's calling you the cutting board cause you're flat, you dumb bimbo."

"Who the hell are you calling a bimbo?!? I don't know what that means but it's probably an insult! So how dare you?!"

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Hope you enjoyed the chapter

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