CH : 19 Eating the Beast that Tried to Eat Me

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*****

Alex tried to find something to distract his mind and possibly break the awkward tension between them. He found it in the form of a big dead body lying in front of him.

He stepped forward to it, raising his hand and he touched the carcass with a contemplating look.

If he recalled correctly... demon beasts are actually created by Daphne -the Witch of Glutton- in the first place to become food. People just never try to eat them because of their menacing appearance and the fact they usually get eaten first.

***

"Let's bring this thing back home." He said aloud.

Ram who was silent for the last few minutes blinked, her eyes regaining their focus as they shifted to Alex who was now rubbing the dead Wolgarm "Alex-sama wants to bring the beast carcass home?"

"Yup. Let's try to cook it."

...

...

...

"Alex-sama..."

"Yes?"

"It's a mabeast."

"I know."

"It looks like a dog."

"I know."

"It used to transmit Curses."

"I know."

"It ate people."

"Thank you mistress obvious." Alex deadpanned to the pink oni "I don't care what you think. This thing tried to eat me, so now I'll eat it right back." He got what Ram was trying to say, however for some reason he was also curious how it tasted like... okay perhaps Saber's appetite reaaally got to him if he thought of that. But he can't find a reason to care for now "Rem's cooking is the best. Even if it looks unappetizing I'm sure she can make a good meal from it." He finished while patting the beast's chest "Now, let's go home with our steak. I mean trophy, yes trophy!" He declared as he walked forward, grabbing the beast's massive spiky tail to drag it with him.

He just took a few steps before becoming dizzy. On reflection, he stopped in his tracks and held his forehead, eyes closed, he tried to banish the ache hammering his brain.

"Alex-sama?" Ram noticed the kight's sudden pause "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just a bit dizzy..." He replied while shaking his head "Probably mana overuse, I'm sure after eating I will be fine."

That and he sure is also because he used

'Sink into the mountain of corpses.

Collapse...Excalibur Morgan!!'

With around 5% power, the pack of Wolgarm a moment ago. He wanted to use it from the beginning however since the children were still in range it was too risky.

'Using a Noble Phantasm, even if only a little power is already this taxing. Granted I can use it again ten or more times, but if I try using Excalibur...'

He shook the thought off, it was not time to think about that. Right now is time to celebrate, having dinner and then a nice hot bath! Roswaal has tubes that constantly heat the bath water when people enter it! Now that is something he had to try!

"Come on Ram, I want to eat this thing, I'm really hungry now." He said to the maid with a small grin before resuming his walk, all while dragging the dead Wolgarm behind him as if it were some kind of simple cart.

Ram could only shake her head with a sigh. Alex Pendragon is a strange person, why should she expect something normal from him? Granted his actions and decisions are based on logic but... doesn't change the fact he's still strange...

'But if he is not strange... Ram can't imagine how he is supposed to be...' She thought as she glanced at the knight's back, not noticing the small smile that unconsciously crossed her face.

***

"Ahhhhh~~~~!" my voice was filled with pleasure as I could finally relax "I know there was a reason I liked this place~"

It has been almost two hours since my battle with the stupid mutt. On the way back Ram and I met up with the villagers that were still looking for us. They did try to come back and help us in the end. Well, too slow boys, we already had everything handled.

And it was a good thing we did too. If they had managed to find Ram before me they would be dead by now. The Wolgarm would have slaughtered them like sheep.

I still remember their dumbfounded pale faces when they saw what kind of beast I was dragging along behind me. Ken looked like he was about to piss himself! They had no idea what lurked in these woods and he was kind of a wimp in the first place.

***

Okay, maybe that's too much. I can't say I would have reacted differently if I was in his place. Heck, I probably wouldn't even have batted an eyelid when I heard of people looking for some missing kids, much less wandered into the mabeast infested forest to look for them.

I guess he is not a complete wimp then, he's actually pretty brave if measured by the standards of our modern age. I only dared fight those beasts head on because I knew I could handle them. Servants are walking armies, capable of devastating even modern battalions. There was no way I had to fear these pumped up mutts, magical steroids or not.

Right now I'm currently in the bath. Or is it a pool? I mean, considering the size of this place... hell! This tub alone can handle more than ten people!

Yeah, definitely a pool.

As much as I hate to admit it, Roswaal is a frighteningly competent magus. Or is it a magician? Meh. Everything in this house, from the kitchen to the library, is fueled by mana.

I have no idea how he did it, but the clown managed to somehow conduct the latent magical energy of the atmosphere to power his manor. This was an unbelievably complex achievement, I yearned to learn how he managed something like that. After all, knowledge is power. Still…

I do not like that clown...

He's likely to return by tomorrow morning. After Ram's report he will probably offer me another boon…

The big question is: What should I ask of him?

Asking him to help me return home is a no-no. He has no intention of letting me slip his clutches, so this would only make him more wary. No matter what, in his eyes I was the key to releasing his mistress, Echidna. He was going to take every measure to see her again, be it lie, scam and even threatening me,

If he was an ordinary Magus I could just play his pride, like Kiritsugu demonstrated wonderfully on Kayneth El-Melloi during the fourth Holy Grail war. I did have quite the mouth on me and my knowledge would be of great help in manipulating the clown. But alas, Roswaal is anything but normal. He has lived for over four hundred years boy continuously possessing the bodies of his descendants. He has achieved what many Magus dream of, other than opening a path to the Root of course.

Immortality

Not complete immortality, his bodies still aged and died eventually after all. Without this his mind would have long ago been irrefutably corrupted.

Yeah, no. He did have more than a few loose screws inside that head of his. However, his mind had not yet deteriorated enough to be comparable to the likes of Zouken Matou. Perhaps he had also just been mad since the beginning; Echidna did mention he tended to be too "earnest" or something like that.

Coming from a woman that can be considered the definition of a sociopath that meant quite something.

My only comfort is that Roswaal at least has some degree of morality. Small as it is, he can still feel regret. At least I'm not dealing with some crazy old magus that happily lets a little girl be violated by insects.

Compared to Zouken, Roswaal was still reasonably sane. Had his mind degenerated too far, with this world still practically in the Age of Gods….

I visibly shudder at this mental image. That would be horrible, mixing Nasuverses nature of human cruelty with Re:Zero's amount of residual power. Might as well add Madoka Magica levels of tragedy while we're at it. Throw in some Evangelion and Tokyo Ghoul as well. Hell! Go mix in some Corpse Party horror and mix in Akame ga Kill's corrupt nobility! Why not go all the way and add 40K creatures here!

I let out a sigh as I rubbed my temples. What in Akasha's name am I raving about? The hot water must be going to my head. I rose from the tub…pool, shaking my body to get the water off me.

I walked to the corner of the bathroom… bathing hall? It's big enough to house a swimming pool after all. I dried myself with the towel I brought along before tying it to my waist. I was about to leave like that -I could hardly bring my clothes in with me, they would get soaked from all the steam.

As I opened the door I came face to face with Emilia who had her fist raised as if about to knock on the door.

..

Our eyes met for a brief moment, both equally surprised. Emilia's gaze slowly started to travel further down my body.

...

...

...

...

...

...

I watched with fascination as Emilia's normally pale face turned a healthy shade of red, mouth hanging open and pupils dilating. I could feel my own cheeks heat up as well and had to hold back from squirming under her stare.

"Bahwba! Buwha! Bubhawha!"

I took a wordless step back and shut the door in her face, then turned around, hand clapped over my ears in preparation for a high-pitched scream. I prayed to any deity who might listen that she would not start screaming.

Ram would never let this go, I could already hear her accusations.

"Shamelessly parading your body in front of poor innocent Emilia-sama? Are you trying to seduce a Royal Candidate? This Ram is very disappointed, that is low for even you, you two-faced knight!"

Yeah, something along those lines for sure.

To my eternal relief, the expected cry never came. I slowly lowered my hands and opened my eyes.

"Emi?" I called out.

"Y-Y-Yes?!" Her loud and high-pitched voice came through the door.

I let out a sigh of relief, thank the Root she did not scream. This could have ended so badly "Why in Akasha's name did you come here?!" I asked aloud, my voice barely staying calm.

"Ahhh! Uhh! I-I-I-I just want to call you!" She finally stammered out, I can't see her face but I'm sure right now she looks like a certain Hyūga in front of a certain Jinchuuriki "Y-You were taking quite a long time in the bath and..."

"I... see..." I replied with a slightly shaky voice, was I really in here this long? "S-Sorry, I just almost fell asleep in there."

A lie, not that Emilia can tell.

"... A-Are you fine?" She asked after a moment of silence, she now sounded calmer "I mean, even if the lesser spirits can heal you but they did not replace the blood you lost. If you're still exhausted..."

"I'm fine." I answered; somehow I can't help but smile a bit. It feels nice to have someone worry like this "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Is that so..." It was clear she was still worried, but also didn't want to be rude "You're really doing dangerous things again Alex."

"In my defense I did not have much of a choice." I defended myself "Would it make you feel better if I allowed that beast free reign of the village?"

"Of course not!" She responded with heat in her voice. "It's just!" She seemed at a loss for words for a moment, I can only imagine her sulky face "It's just... I wish you would tell me first before running off like that..."

I blinked, utterly surprised at that "Emi, what good would it do if I told you?" I asked rhetorically. "You're not stupid, we both know that despite you lacking commo-"

"Don't impose your view of "common" on me." Emilia cut me off with a deadpan voice.

"-sense and have been shut away from the world for a long time." I finished as if she never interrupted me.

"I know that." Emilia replied, frustrated. "But, at least tell me! I..."

She trailed off and fell silent. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I know, and you're right. I should have informed you first." I knew what she had in mind, she just had a hard time expressing herself. "I'm sorry for that..." I apologized sincerely.

She did not respond to my words for a moment, then I heard a small giggle "Apology accepted!" she declared happily. I could tell she was smiling, the same satisfied look on her face she had when she helped the little girl who got lost in episode 1.

"Heh." I only chuckled at her childish expression. To be this pleased by a simple apology. Subaru was right, Emilia was easy to please at times. I brushed that thought aside, right now there were more important matters at hand. "Now, will you please stay away from the bathroom? Would like to have dinner and still need the fetch my clothes"

I'm a hungry man! I feel like I could eat half a cow by myself now!

"E-Eh?! Y-Yes!"

***

"This is..." Alex's green eyes seem sparkled as he stares at the piece of meat on his fork, face frozen in an awed expression. "This is magnificent! Rem! You have really outdone yourself this time!"

Rem seeing the blond man shooting her such a heartfelt smile could not help but smile back. She found his face to look really cute. "It's nothing special Alex-sama, Rem only cooked it like how she usually prepares steak."

"Nonsense." Alex brushed away her modest reply. "Rem, this Wolgarm was about one of the most unpleasant looking creatures I have ever seen. To turn something like that into this kind delicacy speaks volumes of your skill!" He said while gesturing to the giant piece of meat in front of him.

While the taste was far from perfect, Alex had to admit this was still one of the most delicious steaks he ever tasted. Monsters of the lands beware! You just became a Saber class's new favorite food!

Rem stares at Alex for a moment, briefly sparing a glance at the cooked demon beast resting in the middle of the table. She was flabbergasted when she saw the blond knight drag the mabeasts carcass behind him, but it had nothing on her surprise when he asked her to cook it for him.

Rem was sure Emilia-sama and Beatrice-sama also looked at him like he would start sprouting extra limbs at any moment.

"I-Is it really that good?" Emilia asked from her seat, uncertainty watch Alex devouring the beast.

"It is, you should try it." Alex answered while gesturing to the meat "Do you want me to slice it for you?" He offered as he raised his knife.

"No, thank you." Emilia's response was instant and to the point.

"Your loss." Alex replied with a shrug as he sliced off another portion of meat and stabbed it with his fork "It tastes good, right Rem?" He asked the maid.

"... Rem wouldn't know. She only cooked it."

Alex's fork froze halfway to his mouth. He slowly lowered it and stared at the blue haired oni. "Are you telling me you gave me untested food?" He asked, his voice flat and blank.

The way he looked at her made Rem feel shudder. It was not intimidating, but it still made her uncomfortable. She caught a pitying look from Emilia-sama "... Nee-sama has tested it."

That made the pseudo Saber blink "Ram did?"

"Yes. When Rem was cooking the meat, Nee-sama was the one who volunteered to taste it." Rem answered "Nee-sama said "Since Ram also had a hand in hunting this beast she is curious how it tastes. If this meat ends up poisoning Ram, please tell Alex-sama to fetch an antidote." She quoted the pink oni.

"I... I see..." Alex doesn't know how to respond to that. He did not expect that at all.

*****

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